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Dazai and Chuuya have been married for more or less, 5 years now. They even have a son who turned 4 a few days ago that goes by the name Nakahara Fumiya. He took after Chuuya’s last name due to the fact that Chuuya is the alpha in the household and Dazai is simply an omega.
With that being said, everything that happens in the luxurious penthouse worth millions of dollars is based on Chuuya’s commands and preferences. The colour of the house, the level they’re living in, the decorations set up, furniture and the coordinations are all chosen by Chuuya and Chuuya only. Dazai didn’t have a say in those things firstly because he knew he doesn’t have the good taste the ginger has and that Chuuya did a better job at those compared to him. Plus, he never minded it.
However, that might just change on one unfortunate day in the Nakahara household. A day no one expected to ever happen and the day the house will experience extreme tension that could possibly break the family.
It all starts on one particular day when Chuuya and Fumiya went out on a walk to the playground based on the request of the latter. All leaving the brunette at home alone to prepare for their dinner. He is still a detective at the agency however, as long as they did not have a face to face mission that requires him to be present in the office, he is allowed to work from home.
Chuuya was happily strolling through the playground when he saw his little kid running up to him with the biggest smile to ever exist. Of course on a closer distance, he could see that Fumiya was holding onto something behind him. Something that appears to be the source of the younger’s one exploding happiness.
Chuuya was expecting it to be anything like a flower or something other kid had left for him. He certainly wasn’t expecting it to be a small, furry and adorable little puppy which to him looks abandoned. He had an idea on what the younger one would ask from him and hell, he knew he wouldn’t resist making him laid out the offer first
“Shall we adopt it, sweetheart? I am sure you can take care of it really well. We can give it a name too! Would you like it, baby?’
Without a doubt, that brings a huge smile to Fumiya’s face. The smile that is worth any sacrifice. It caused Chuuya to curve his lips upward too unconsciously from being too delighted to seeing his baby radiating pure joy by the thought. Until a frown appeared on the younger’s face that Chuuya himself grew worried about. However before he could ask what got the younger feeling down, Fumiya answered.
“What about mommy? Mommy hates dogs and he very much could.. Kill it.. Less kick it out.. I don’t want that to happen.. But I want a doggie so badly.. It was all alone and.. Cold..”
Chuuya’s heart broke when he saw his son on the verge of tears. Lips quivering, eyes full of tears and his breath hitching. Of course Chuuya has to give in to the younger’s wants even if it wasn’t necessary.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We will bring it back home and I will make sure your mommy doesn’t kill it or kick it out. It is my house after all. Not his.”
That of course brought a huge smile to Fumiya’s lips. He then requested for both of them to be on their way home since the younger one is starving. Which of course Chuuya gives in and without a second to delay, they are already on their way back home in Chuuya’s luxurious car.
The next obstacle was to get Dazai to accept the new member of their family and not kill it or kick it out. And if he was so persistent on it, well..Chuuya just has to remind him of his position in the house.
After a long 20 minute ride, Chuuya and Fumiya finally arrive at the building where their house is located on the highest floor. An elegant black building consisting of 45 floors overlooking the entire Yokohama. A building in the middle of the city which caused it to be pretty noisy when the roads are packed. A building that screams elegance and luxury only the rich could afford. Yet the interior is almost castle-like. All in all, only billionaires could ever live in such a place and Chuuya happens to be one of them.
Upon entering their house on the 45th floor, Chuuya was hit by the scent of dinner and his mate. After offering their returning home wish, Chuuya made his way to the kitchen while Fumiya followed him from behind. Hiding the pup behind him and watching as Chuuya greets his mommy with a kiss. Of course he knew that was a way to calm him down from taking the news of having a puppy badly. However, as if sensing something is happening, the brunette is already demanding for the truth.
“Chuuya, there is a scent of something else on you. What are you scheming? What is happening? I swear if it is another one of your stupid pranks..”
“No no I am not doing any pranks, Dazai. I swear. Well.. I want you to take this news calmly. We adopted a puppy from the playground and it will be living with us from now on.”
It was very obvious how Dazai’s expression dropped and his skin turned paler. Hazel orbs instantly looked at their son, Fumiya and the little ball of furry behind him which caused a part of the brunette all triggered and worked up. As if reminiscing the past which made him yell at his husband and his kid for the first time ever.
“GET IT OUT! CHUUYA ARE YOU INSANE! WHY WOULD YOU LET THAT THING COMES INSIDE OUR HOUSE! GET IT OUT NOW-!”
Dazai didn’t manage to finish his words when Chuuya cut him off sharply. With a tone that got Dazai flinching and frozen in his spot. The strict yet cold tone that made Fumiya looking at his parents surprised and trembling from the fear. A tone that is enough to send kids even adults crying not including the context that got Dazai still and silent for a good few seconds.
“I can bring ANYTHING I want in this house. Cats, dogs, snakes. I can bring in anything I want into this house. You need to remember that this house is MINE, Dazai. This house is mine, not yours. You have no right to say anything about what I bring into this house when your salary at that crappy detective agency is barely enough to feed you for a week. Understand?”
Dazai was stunned. The usage of his true last name surprised him even more since Chuuya usually resolved to calling him “Nakahara” which is his new last name, “Osamu” which is his given first name or any other cute pet names. Never his old last name which usually meant the ginger doesn’t like him any longer. To Chuuya, he meant nothing harmful. He just wanted his kid to be happy but he had forgotten to care about Dazai’s feelings and rights in the house too. The brunette seems to be holding in tears before a small, bitter smile creeps up on his face as he nodded understanding the words the ginger had just said.
“Understood. Please forgive me for my actions and unpleasant behaviour a few minutes ago. I will surely keep that in mind and not repeat my mistake again. I am sorry, Chuuya, Fumiya. I will be better.”
Chuuya just hums and leaves for his and Dazai’s shared bedroom. Fumiya only needs to take one look at Dazai’s face to confirm his suspicion that the brunette is crying silently. The way he hangs his head low and the brown, curly hair is covering his eyes, the shudders of his shoulders, the way his chest moves up and down even faster. All of his body language shows that he’s crying but knowing the brunette, he will never admit it.
Fumiya slowly leaves to his room with the puppy, leaving Dazai all alone in his head. The youngest knows that his mommy is not someone who likes it when someone is watching him shed tears except for his father because to him, it means he is expressing pure weakness. He is being vulnerable. A worthless little omega who can only cry.
Inside of Dazai’s head is like a mess. As if a tornado just hit it. The way all the voices he fought so hard to silence are screaming and laughing at him. The way those voices are chanting how pathetic he was to think he truly had a place in this place called a home with Chuuya and his kid. The way the voices are reminding him that he truly had no place in this world and is just a waste of space.
‘See~ Chuuya doesn’t care for you. You are worthless. You’re a fool to think such a highly alpha is capable of loving someone pathetic like you. Just die already. You have no place in this world. You’re a waste of living space. You’re a burden. DIE DAZAI. DIE! EASE UP THEIR BURDEN~! NO ONE CARES FOR YOU IN THIS WORLD! DIE! DIE! DIE!’
It drove him mad to a point he started walking towards the balcony to look down from the 45th floor as if he had no soul or mind of his own, the voices in his head telling him to jump and make this life easier and more peaceful which he considered at first. However, the sound of door unlocking snaps him out of his thoughts with a huge fake smile on his face.
“I cooked some of your and Fumiya’s favourite dishes. Eat up. I am going to Ranpo-san’s house after this to discuss a mission we are having in a few days. I will be home after 1 am. Eat up, you two since I will meet up with Ango to eat.”
Dazai stated as he took off the apron he was wearing to set them neatly on the kitchen counter. He doesn’t once look at Chuuya any higher than his feet as he puts on his sandy trench overcoat and leaves the place with just his phone and wallet. Not even his access card or his car key, which should be a great indicator of Chuuya's words, had eaten him up from inside. However, the ginger was too.. Tired to notice.
Few hours went by inside the house rather quickly. Chuuya and Fumiya had a nice meal, enjoyed some snacks, fed the newest addition to their family members and even watched some movies together. They enjoyed the remainder of the day forgetting about Dazai. In Fumiya’s mind, his mommy is not home perhaps because he is hanging out with some friends meanwhile in the almost forgotten part of Chuuya’s mind, the brunette is out with his co-workers for work purposes like he told. Which made them carry on with their day with ease until bedtime arrived where the two of them and their new puppy slept together in Chuuya’s bed.
Things were rather different for Dazai who were constantly uneasy. He was rather pacing around the bench in the park and not at Ranpo’s house like he had told Chuuya when the darkness engulfed the world as an indicator that night had overtaken the city. Chuuya’s words run through his mind repeatedly as if they’re on a loop and it was driving him insane and doubting the ginger which he dislikes. It made him overthink every little detail which soon made sense for the brunette.
‘Chuuya.. never ask me for my opinions when he bought the furniture and the house.. Does he really even want me in the house..? Does he even want me in the first place..? He.. doesn’t want me around and I was too dumb to notice.. Damnit Dazai.. Why are you so naive to think the world really has treated you right..’
A few more hours went by and it was already 1:45 am. The streets are not as crowded as earlier anymore. Of course, there are a few couples dating in the park, a few passersby on motorcycles, a few cars and other civilians enjoying the night in the city. They look so happy that Dazai can’t help but to be envious of them to see that life is treating them better.
Once the clock hits 2 am, Dazai decides to start going back to the penthouse. Realisation hits him like a truck when he realises he deliberately forgot to take the access card and keys to see if Chuuya would care. It made him fish out his phone from the pocket and was rather bitter when he saw his husband and mate didn’t text him a single time or called him which only adds more to his overthinking and assumptions. Of course not having the access card meant nothing to him when he managed to arrive right outside of Chuuya’s penthouse yet for some reason he felt.. Heavy and tired to step inside knowing.. There is no place inside the house for him. Yet he let the thought slide and went inside nevertheless from tiredness to rest whatever remaining hours he chose to stay in those four walls before going out in the morning to the office.
Once the clock hits 6 am, Dazai had already woken up to get ready and cook before he could leave. He took some time in the shower to try silencing the thoughts but failed miserably when the thoughts made him think he’s wasting more water and necessities which will piss Chuuya off even more. Hence, it caused him to quickly turn off the shower and take his time cleaning the bathroom as an apology for using it without permission. New bandages wrapped on his arms, neck and legs before he was excited to start cooking for the ginger and their kid.
Dazai settled for some eggs and toasts for breakfast which he served on the table for just a potion of two. Leaving himself out of the morning meal since he would be horrified to know he had eaten freely without Chuuya’s permission on what he is allowed to eat and what he is forbidden from eating. He as well had packed some lunch for Chuuya and Fumiya consisting of some rice, rolled omelette, grilled salmon and seaweed. The brunette was about to leave the house after placing the food on the table to serve the two when the door opened revealing the barking puppy who seems to be barking at him for “intruding” the home which almost made him had a panic attack until Chuuya came out and calmed the creature down.
“The fuck are you doing out here this early.”
“Oh.. I am about to go to the office. I have a mission and it is already 7 am. I might be late and Kunikida-kun will be angry with me for it. I cooked breakfast and prepared your lunches. Just heat it up when you want to eat. Also, the puppy seems to hate intruders, huh?”
“Yeah sure. Are you eating out again tonight or coming home to eat dinner? I want to know how much I am buying. And the puppy really hates intruders. I taught him to bark at any intruders who came and bite when they didn't listen within 8 hours. How cool, right, Zai?”
Dazai stayed silent for a good few seconds. It seems the puppy registered him as an intruder. It made sense in a way though. He is an intruder one way or another. It wasn’t his place, not his house, less his home. That thought itself made him smile bitterly and nod once before leaving the house without another word spoken which puzzled the ginger but he shrugged it off thinking the brunette was really in a hurry and started getting ready to go to the Headquarters with Fumiya. What the ginger was unaware of was.. Dazai actually had no mission and didn’t clock into work that morning as he sent an email asking for a paid leave due to sickness which is untrue of course.
The routine goes on for days and even weeks without Chuuya figuring out something was wrong. Dazai would come in at 2-4 am and leave at 7 am sharp after cooking meals and cleaning some things occasionally. Chuuya could only catch glimpses of Dazai when their puppy started barking each morning when he was about to leave. Even his scent seems to have been blocked which Chuuya suspected is by a scent blocker. Yet he didn’t question the brunette for the reasons on why he is rarely home and is always avoiding both Chuuya and Fumiya until one day..
“Daddy.. Where is mommy..? Fumi hasn't seen him in weeks.. Fumi misses mommy.. Does mommy not love us anymore and left us..? Fumi hasn’t even told mommy when Fumi got.. New friends in school..”
Fumiya asked one day. Small arms hugged tightly around their puppy and tears brimming in his eyes. Seemingly very affected by Dazai’s acts lately. Then it hits Chuuya. Fumiya hasn’t seen Dazai for weeks, making it normal for him to be having such doubts. The sight was unbearable and being tired to lie to his son saying Dazai is staying over his co-worker’s place for jobs, the redheaded mafioso brought his kid to the detective agency to drag his beloved mate home.
The thing that got him feeling worried was when Chuuya and Fumiya arrived, there was no scent of his mate at all and for some reason, he couldn’t even feel where the brunette was through his bond. Not just his scent or presence, even Dazai himself is not in the office. Which made the ginger speculate that he is out on a mission which angered him since Dazai is an omega yet he is let off into a mission all alone for weeks by now. Chuuya knew because every other member of the Agency was present in the room except their leader, Fukuzawa Yukichi.
Putting his kid down and allowing him to wander around the agency and mixing up with Dazai’s co-workers, Chuuya walked up to the blonde, a beta who became Dazai’s work partner in the agency and the weretiger who was saved by Dazai and became his mentee not to mention he is also dating Chuuya’s subordinate, Akutagawa. He slammed his hands on the desk and glared at the two of them but more towards the blonde.
“Why are you sending my mate to so many missions lately that he is rarely home? Where is he?! Even his kid missed him and thought he left us! Give him some days off damnit! If you want, I can help write a letter in his beha-”
Chuuya was cut mid-sentence by the interference of the weretiger whose name was Nakajima Atsushi if Chuuya was not mistaken. He usually addressed him by the nickname “weretiger” anyway. Dazai’s new mentee looks pretty confused by his outlash and even Kunikida who Chuuya addressed as “four-eyes' ' are seemingly confused and puzzled.
“I am sorry, Chuuya-san.. But Dazai-san hasn’t been at work for more than 2 weeks.. He said he was sick and needed to rest and the president gave him the days off because he said it is normal for omegas to be sick when their heat is approaching. And we all thought he was home with you and Fumi-chan.. None of us could even call him.. Because his phone is turned off..”
Hearing the answer made every blood in Chuuya’s blood freeze. He mentally checked when Dazai's latest heat was going to arrive and his panic grew when he realised that this week is supposed to be his mate’s heat yet he is nowhere near him to help knowing this is one of the most painful moments in his life if not tended and cared for properly. Perhaps the panic and worry was so obvious on his face that Kunikida voiced out.
“We will help find him. Kenji-kun can help take care of your kid if you don’t mind, Nakahara-san. We will help find him and return him in your arms as quickly as possible. Every member of the Agency! We have a new mission! One of our members is missing without any news and his alpha hasn’t seen him too for a few days! Leave out all your work until Dazai Osamu has been safely returned to us! Start moving everyone! Every surveillance camera, civilians and his friends!”
The redheaded alpha ran out to find his mate. His face turned pale as each second passed from worry. The thought of his mate in pain and suffering without him by his side is constantly eating Chuuya with guilt. However.. He doesn’t understand. Why did Dazai do this? Why is Dazai choosing to suffer alone and leave them? Why is Dazai distancing himself from them? Whatever the answer is, Chuuya is sure he can talk about it later in person with him. Now, he has to find a certain brunette with almost no information of his whereabouts.
Minutes later, Chuuya’s phone rings from the number of the weretiger which he suspected the brunette saved in his phone so he doesn’t have to be all that hesitant and doubtful when he answers a phone call. In an instant, he answered the call allowing the younger to give him any clues or feedback they’ve gotten.
“Chuuya-san, Dazai-san’s friend who works in the special ability division, Ango-san said he saw Dazai in a bar a few days ago crying. And in his reports, Dazai-san said something about finding a new home or..”
When the younger is trailing off in that tone, Chuuya knows it isn’t something good. It means something is up and it is rather a tragedy than a good news. Years of experiencing that beforehand taught him that. Making him yell over the phone to the poor mentee of his husband.
“OR WHAT?! ANSWER ME, JINKO!”
“Ango-san said.. Dazai-san is thinking about committing suicide.. He said he tried helping and giving advice and Dazai-san just listened to it but after that.. No one had seen Dazai-san..So now, Kunikida-san is sending everyone on a massive search for Dazai-san. By the rivers, by the subway, in every empty building and even asking Ranpo-son's friend to do a search in every body of water in case we find him.”
Chuuya’s heart drops to his stomach when he hears that, causing him to end the call and let his phone slip out of his hand. Tears threatening to form. His mate was thinking of suicide..? All sorts of questions came to him as he slowly sank to his knees. It was too much to take. Dazai was doing so well these past few years. There were constant episodes but it wasn’t to the point of asking for suicide. They were doing much better. Chuuya was on the verge of giving up before a thought occurred to him, making him call the blonde partner of his husband whose number is already saved in his phone, probably the work of the brunette.
“I am sending my people out to search for him. Search every room and every corner of the city. My people will be finding him in the suribachi district and i will ve finding him in every hospital. We are also expanding our search through every flight.”
Chuuya didn’t wait for an answer when he hung up and called his onee-san to explain the severity of the condition he’s in and who is willing to help him. In minutes, every corner of Yokohama is getting searched by both the mafia and the agency. Chuuya searched through the hospitals hoping to find clues until he reached a hospital called Yokohama General Hospital.
“Hi, is Dazai Osamu seen around here? I am his mate and his husband, Nakahara Chuuya. He is pretty tall, wears a sandy trench coat and bolo tie and bandages around his body.”
“Ahh, you are Dazai’s husband. Yes he was admitted here when someone caught him drowning and brought him here two days ago. He should be awake in room D-3-7 on the third floor. The person should also be there to accompany him.”
For some reason, Chuuya could feel his blood draining when he heard that. So Dazai was really trying to kill himself. But he could get his answers now making him run to the room and upon opening the door, he saw a girl probably in her early 20s talking to the brunette who seemed drained to the core yet still putting up that fake smile engaged with the conversation Chuuya knew he longed to stop.
His entrance caught both of their attention. Dazai seems unamused and tired and the girl seems defensive of the brunette. Perhaps because she knew he is a dangerous man given he has a knife in his pocket.
“Who are you?! Don’t come near! I am not afraid to fight!”
“I am Nakahara Chuuya, Osamu’s mate. His friends and my friends are going crazy searching for him throughout the city so.. Can I have some time alone with my husband?”
The girl seemed hesitant but a nod from Dazai eased her up as she bowed and left the room. Chuuya approached his husband who seemed unable to face him and slowly held his hand in the gentlest way possible. He then realised how the brunette is rapidly losing weight as if he isn’t eating for days before it hits him that each time he saw the brunette early in the morning, he never saw him eating or bringing lunch but he kept silent about it.
“Baby..? What happened..? Tell me please.. Fumi missed you.. I miss you too.. You became distant and didn't come home and we got to know you tried committing.. Please tell me what’s wrong so I can fix all of this.. Don’t die yet, mackerel.. You promised us..”
The room was completely silent for some minutes, which Chuuya used to kiss the brunette's hand and hug him as if he would lose him if he let go even for a second. It lasted until Dazai decided to open his mouth and answer with the saddest yet numb tone one could hear that got Chuuya on the verge of tears.
“I have no place in this world. There is no place for me. I don’t have anything. A family, a home to go back to, money, sanity. I am just a burden. A waste of space. A creature like me who has no one that cares should just die.”
Within seconds, Chuuya was stunned. Not expecting his husband to think such, making him hug the other tightly. Tears falling off his eyes as he denies every accusation the brunette gives to himself.
“Baby no! You are very important to me. Why did you say that? I care for you.. We all do..”
“No, Chuuya. You said so before. That house of yours is yours, not mine. Which means it isn’t my place and when I think back, there was nothing in your house that was ever mine or involved my opinion. It was practically me intruding into your house. You also didn’t care enough. So.. when that happens.. I should just die right? I hate dogs because Mori-san used to abuse me using those creatures. When you brought that puppy, it triggered my PTSD. But it was your house and since I have no say in anything you do or bring into the house, I had to wander around the streets without a dog.”
With a bitter smile and hiccuping sobs Dazai answered. He looked so numb and disappointed to be alive and it pained Chuuya to see him like this. As if he is a dead soul with no mind except to just be dead. And Chuuya realised that sometimes even if his words didn’t mean anything, it can be the breaking point for someone he loves which he regrets the most.
“I didn’t mean it like that.. Why didn’t you tell me, love? I could have fixed this before it got this bad.. That is your home and I am sorry for not being considerate of your feelings before.. I promise to change.. I swear I didn’t know and I was afraid the puppy would be harmed if we let it stay there.. I am sorry.. I am sorry, Samu..”
And if Chuuya had to spend the next three hours trying to convince Dazai that he is very meaningful, loved and wanted and had to show it in a rather intimate way inside the closed room.. Well it is entirely his business to ensure his husband would go back to their home together and perhaps overcome the trauma together with each other as partners and mates. And if the agency and the mafia had to take turns to watch over Fumiya for two weeks straight so that the partners can make up for it.. Well.. it is their business and matter to care for.