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Rose sat in front of the desk. She kept turning to look at the clock and fiddled with her wedding ring. She was frustrated. She had been sitting across from Harlow’s teacher for the past 10 minutes, waiting for her wife to show up so that they could start their meeting.
Luisa promised her that she would make it on time. Rose understood that she was probably in traffic, but the least she could do was call or answer her phone.
“Mrs. Ruvelle, I don’t mean to sound rude, but I do have other parents to see before the day is over.” Harlow’s 6th-grade teacher, Mrs. Duncan said.
“I’m sorry. I’m sure she won’t be much longer.” Rose stated as kindly as she could. Rose was not a big fan of Mrs. Duncan, or any of the other teachers at this school for that matter. She had asked Luisa if they could just hire teachers to tutor Harlow and Osvaldo at home, but Luisa insisted that they go to school and spend some time around kids and have as normal a life as they could.
Rose checked her phone to see if she had any messages from Luisa, and luckily for her, she saw one. “In the parking lot, running to get there, please don’t hate me xoxo.” Rose clenched her jaw and rolled her eyes. She was not letting Luisa off easy this time.
The door burst open and in walked Luisa. “I am so sorry I’m late. My meeting ran over time.” Luisa stated out of breath.
“That’s alright.” Mrs. Duncan smiled. “So, let’s talk about Harlow.”
She went on about the girl and how good her grades were, how great her social skills were, and what a joy she was to have in class.
Rose couldn’t help but smile, even when Luisa rested her hand on Rose’s thigh, she wasn’t thinking about how angry she was, she instead rested her hand over Luisa’s and continued to listen to Mrs. Duncan gush on about their daughter
The meeting only lasted 15 minutes and then they had to head over to Osvaldo’s 3rd-grade teacher, Mrs. Patterson. She went on about how smart he was but was a bit concerned about his lack of attention in class. They talked about looking more into that, but all in all, it was good and they were out of there in 20 minutes.
Rose was overwhelmed with joy. Her kids were doing great in school, academically, socially, and in their extra-curricular activities.
But, as soon as they left the building the anger from before set in. She promised herself she wasn’t just gonna let Luisa off easily. So as they made their way towards the parking lot, Rose walked before Luisa and she walked fast.
Luisa tried to catch up with her but Rose made it to her car without saying a word, got in, and started her engine. Luisa stared in confusion as she watched Rose pull out of the parking lot. Even though they were going to meet at home and discuss everything, she was confused as to why Rose hadn’t said anything about the meeting to her while they were walking.
Luisa thought about it for a second before it hit her. Rose was mad about her being late. She hit her forehead with the palm of her hand and made her way towards her car. She knew she should have just left during the meeting. It was too late to change her decision, but it was not too late to make things right.
She made her way to the mall near their home and bought a few things. Some for the kids as a reward for their good work at school, and some things for Rose as an apology. She knew material things didn’t exactly mean much to Rose. She could afford anything she wanted, but Luisa hoped that it was the thought put into the specific things she bought that might help.
Meanwhile, Rose got home, opened the door, and was immediately almost tumbled over by her two kids. “Hi, my babies.” She said kissing each one of them on the head. “Guess what.”
“What?” They both said in unison.
“We talked with your teachers, and you guys did so well, so tonight, we can eat whatever you want.”
“Pizza?” Osvaldo asked in excitement.
“Chinese?” Harlow asked
“Anything your hearts desire babies.” Rose smiled.
“Thanks mommy”
Osvaldo made his way back to the lounge to continue watching his TV shows, but Harlow looked out the door expectantly before Rose closed it. “Where’s Mama?” She asked with a confused expression that matched Rose’s exactly. Harlow was her carbon copy.
“We both drove our own cars,” Rose said to her daughter as she made her way to the kitchen. Harlow following close behind.
“Didn’t she drive right behind you? Why didn’t you wait for her?”
“Okay little miss detective, I’m sure Mama will be here soon. I was just in a hurry to get home.”
“Fine. I accept your answer.” She said as she crossed her arms and glared at Rose.
“Sassy pants.” Rose smiled, kissing her daughter on the head again. “Go take off your school clothes and tell your brother to do the same. Your holiday has officially started.”
“I’m really excited about it.”
“Yeah? Why? Anything specific you’re excited about? It’s pretty boring here at home.”
“It’s not boring mommy. I like it when we all spend time together, even if we just sit and watch movies together.” The young girl said before making her way out of the kitchen to her room.
Rose looked up to try to prevent the tears forming in her eyes from falling. She sighed and made her way to her and Luisa’s room. Wiping away the tears that escaped anyway.
She took off the suit that she was wearing and instead pulled on a sundress. She walked into their bathroom and began to wipe the makeup off her face as she wasn’t planning on going anywhere the rest of the day.
While she was drying her face she heard the front door open. She went down and sat on the bed, knowing that she couldn’t exactly avoid Luisa. She heard Luisa greet their children and then listened to her footsteps as she made her way toward their room.
She didn’t turn around to look at Luisa when she entered the room. Instead waiting for Luisa to approach her.
After putting her things down and changing into more casual clothes, she walked towards Rose. She sat down next to Rose and handed her a small bag. “I’m sorry I was late to the meeting.” Luisa started. “I bought you this. As a part of my apology.” Luisa half-smiled
Rose opened the bag and found in it her favorite chocolate, a scented candle, which Rose loved, and a necklace Luisa once saw Rose staring at.
“I was gonna buy the donuts, but I thought that if we keep buying it as an apology, it would start holding more bad memories than the good. And I want it to stay a good memory because it was amazing.”
“Thank you,” Rose said softly, not looking at Luisa.
“Babe, please talk to me.”
“You could have called. Or answered my calls.” Rose stated
“I was driving.”
“You could have told me your meeting ran late before you got into the car.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Rose tried to get up and walk away, but Luisa pulled her back down. Rose huffed. “Lu.”
“Are you really not going to forgive me?”
“Is it an obligation?”
“No, but-”
“Then no.” She tried to get up again, but Luisa repeated her previous actions. Rose sighed.
“C’mon babe, please,” Luisa said kissing Rose’s cheek.
“No.”
“Please.” She kissed Rose’s temple
“Nope.”
She kissed the side of her chin. “Please, please, please.”
“No, no, no.”
Luisa slid her hand up the inside of Rose’s thigh, causing a shiver to run down her spine.
“Luisa.” Rose groaned. “I am mad at you. And this is not going to work.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes,” Rose stated, trying to convince herself more than Luisa.
“What if I did this,” Luisa smirked placing a kiss on Rose’s neck.
“Luisa.” Rose breathed
Luisa moved up to Rose’s ear, kissed her behind her ear, then whispered, "Tell me what’s really wrong.”
Rose tensed up, “Nothing. Continue.” She said pulling Luisa’s hand back up her thigh when Luisa tried to retract.
“You didn’t want to a few seconds ago.”
“I changed my mind, come on,” Rose said softly pulling Luisa closer by her shirt and kissing her
Luisa moved away and pulled her hand out of Rose’s grasp. She slid off of the bed and went to sit on her knees in front of Rose. “Rose. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Rose sighed, then looked away from Luisa. Tears were starting to well in her eyes and she really didn’t want to cry about this again for the millionth time. “I told you. I’m upset that you told me you would be on time but then you left me there alone to deal with people I don’t like.”
Rose knew she couldn’t lie to Luisa. Luisa could always see right through her, but she didn’t want to tell her the truth. She was scared to share such a vulnerable part of herself, even with her wife. Alas, she knew she would have to come clean soon. Luisa would give her the space if she needed it, but not forever.
Luisa took a deep sigh and rested her head on Rose’s legs. She took Rose’s hands in her own and waited for Rose to look at her. “Babe, you know that you can tell me anything right? It’s you and me against the world, always. I don’t want you to suffer in silence.”
Rose sighed, “I know.”
“Then why can’t you tell me?”
“I’m scared.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“That I’m not good enough. You guys deserve better”
“Rose.” Luisa sighed getting up to sit next to her wife. She turned sideways and moved Rose so that she could turn too so that they could look at each other. “You are good enough. How can you think you’re not? And there is no better than you.”
“Yes, Luisa, there is. I just-” Rose looked down at her hands.
Luisa slowly lifted Rose’s chin. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”
Rose stayed silent for a moment, kissed Luisa’s hands, and then continued. She had tears running down her cheeks, which Luisa wiped away every now and then. “I feel guilty. And afraid.”
“Why.”
“Because… sometimes I think about running away. I think about just packing all my stuff and leaving.” Rose could see the panic and sadness on Luisa’s face. She could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes. “Because I feel like I’m not enough. I feel like you and the kids would be so much better off without me. I want you guys to be happy and sometimes I feel like you would be happier without me.”
“You know that’s not true,” Luisa whispered, wiping away her own tears.
“Isn’t it though? My past is just such a big burden on our family. We can’t go anywhere we want, you can’t show them where you grew up, we can’t introduce them to your family.”
“You’re my family Rose. We’re a family right here, we don’t need anybody else.”
“But you wish we had more.”
“I don’t.” Luisa chuckled. “I really don’t. I know we had hard times because I couldn’t choose between you and having a good relationship with my brother, but that has changed. He proved time and time again that he would put his family before me and that I wasn’t a part of that, but now I have my own family, and I understand him. I would put your safety and the safety of our kids before anyone or anything.”
Rose let out a sob and Luisa pulled her in close, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her on the head. “I-”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Luisa soothed. “Just, lay down here with me for a bit huh?”
“Yeah,” Rose whispered.
Luisa moved up the bed with Rose and they made their way under their blankets. Luisa laid down with Rose resting on her chest, and she kissed her head and whispered encouraging words. Rose eventually fell asleep, and Luisa just held her tighter and listened to her breathing. She let the tears fall from her eyes and sobbed softly, trying not to wake Rose.
A few hours later Rose awoke to find that she was alone in bed. She got up, and made her way to the kitchen in search of Luisa. She didn’t find her there. Then she walked to her daughter’s room and found Luisa sitting asleep in the chair next to her daughter's bed with a book in her hands. Her son and daughter lying together in her daughter's bed. The sight made her heart swell
Rose walked to Luisa and kissed her forehead. “Lu. Lu, wake up.” She whispered trying not to wake the kids in the process.
Luisa stirred and eventually opened her eyes. “Hey.” She said softly.
“Let’s go to bed yeah?”
“Yeah,” Luisa said half asleep. “Uhm, let’s take Ozzie to his bed.”
“No, no. Let’s leave him here. He’s been having nightmares lately and been sneaking into Harlow’s room.”
“I didn’t know that,” Luisa said as they left the room.
“I wake up at night sometimes for a glass of water and take him back to his room. But Harlow said it’s fine and that I could leave him there.”
They walked into their room and immediately got into their bed. “She’s such a great sister.”
“The sweetest little girl.” Rose smiled propping herself up on her elbow to look at Luisa, and Luisa did the same. “I don’t know how we got so lucky.”
“They have amazing parents is all,” Luisa said
“You are an amazing parent,” Rose whispered
“And so are you. Don’t ever doubt that. I know it’s hard for you sometimes. Our past does make things hard. And yes, maybe our kids will hate us one day for all the things we’ve done, but that doesn’t mean we run away. We love them unconditionally and we stay by their side, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Rose said moving closer to Luisa. “Hey, I’m sorry for lashing out at you. It’s not your fault and you didn’t deserve that.”
“It’s okay. Is there anything else you wanna tell me about how you feel?”
“I love you,” Rose stated. “And I love our kids. And I hope they don’t hate us one day. Because the love I feel for them is something I never thought I’d ever experience. And I don’t want to run away from that.”
“Then don’t. Continue to do what we do. You make our kids feel safe. They value you so much. And they have so much fun with you.”
“I’m the fun mom.” Rose smiled.
“Yes, you are. I love watching you with our kids. They’re never happier than when they’re with you.”
“They’re happy when we’re all together.”
“Exactly. So we all stay together and continue to love each other yeah?”
“Yes,” Rose whispered moving closer to Luisa, capturing her lips between her own. “Do me a favor.” She said softly
“Anything.”
“Tell me you love me.”
Luisa chuckled and kissed Rose again. “I love you Rose Ruvelle. More than you can ever imagine.”
Rose moved to straddle Luisa’s waist, taking her by surprise. “Again.” She said moving to kiss Luisa’s neck.
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”