Chapter Text
Blade is the best 🗡️🗡️🗡️
@blaaadie
GUYS DID ANYONE SEE THE CASTING FOR NOWHERE TO RUN????????
(link — it leads to a leaked photo for the casting of the upcoming drama show “Nowhere to Run”.)
1,972 retweets | 1,108 quote tweets | 10.1k likes
Jioo @jiooke
— replying to @blaaadie
let me guess blade’s casted
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DH FRVR @danhengurmine
— replying to @jiooke
BALDE WHO THIS BITHC CANT EVEN ACT
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Blade is the best 🗡️🗡️🗡️ @blaaadie
— replying to @danhengurmine
as much as i would like to bash you dh fans i will act rational for once and ask you to check the fucking casting before you speak
Keria @ikopi
— replying to @blaaadie
NAHHH THIS GOTTA BE A JOKE
(photo — a screenshot of the casting for “Nowhere to Run” that has been leaked to the public. Two names sit at the top of the list in the “Main Character” and the “Male Lead” slot — Dan Heng and Blade respectively.)
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Yuii @yuioo23
— replying to @ikopi
YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME??? DAN HENG AND BLADE TGT AGAIN?
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blade (real) @12bladiefor
— replying to @ikopi
fuck i never thought i would see their names in the same space ever again
lunae’s lover @yingfeng_
— replying to @blaaadie
WAIT NOWHERE TO RUN HAS A LIVE ACTION?? WHEN??
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bffr @ppppls
— replying to @yingfeng_
for someone who has the main cp ship name as their user ur sure clueless
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nwtrupdates @nwtrupdates
— replying to @yingfeng_
yup! the live action just got announced a month ago! but even i didn’t realise the casting got leaked…
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Lia
@dhupupup
After seeing the casting for #nwtr im devastated i cant believe bl*de IS ACTING ALONGSIDE DAN HENG??
67 retweets | 103 quote tweets | 294 likes
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don’t ask
@bladeslover
honestly im not that mad abt the nwtr casting because bladie is acting again! but im worried…
10 retweets | 1 quote tweet | 76 likes
—
Xianzhou Gossip ✔
@xianzhougossip
The casting of the new BL drama, based on the popular BL novel “Nowhere to Run”, has been leaked, revealing long-time enemies of the showbiz Dan Heng and Blade as the two main leads.
(photo — a screenshot of the casting for “Nowhere to Run” that has been leaked to the public. Two names sit at the top of the list in the “Main Character” and the “Male Lead” slot — Dan Heng and Blade respectively.)
2,567 retweets | 1,385 quote tweets | 32.9k likes
Uein @ueinn00
— replying to @teyvatgossip
dan heng and blade? leads? in a bl drama? AGAIN???
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Uein @ueinn00
— replying to @ueinn00
i swear this is the worst pairing its the only pairing in the world no one is cheering for
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theonlystan @renheng1
— replying to @ueinn00
so we don’t exist? Thanks?
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Uein @ueinn00
— replying to @renheng1
my lord the delusional ppl are here
xingyue my loves @xingyuefrvr
— replying to @teyvatgossip
nwtr is done for ToT WHAT ARE THE DIRECTORS THINKING? its going to turn into the cloudcry situation all over again…
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coping @koperr
— replying to @xingyuefrvr
im starting to think that the directors dont know abt their falling out
Flan @danhengllly: the show hasnt even been released and i can alr smell the backlash
—
alee
@100alee
oml i havent seen anyone talk abt cloudcry/yyp in a long time
(quote — xingyue my loves @xingyuefrvr: nwtr is done for ToT WHAT ARE THE DIRECTORS THINKING? its going to turn into the cloudcry situation all over again…)
5 retweets | 2 quote tweets | 34 likes
livelaughlovelight @mmiii
— replying to @nellos89
PLEASE DONT MENTION YYP IN FRONT OF ME IM GOING TO BREAK DOWN IN TEARS YET AGAIN
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nwtr <3 @lilypoly
— replying to @nellos89
what’s yyp/cloudcry?
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Nell @nellos89
— replying to @lilypoly
the infamous bl drama that dan heng and blade acted in a few years ago
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nwtr <3 @lilypoly
— replying to @nellos89
i’m relatively new to bl, so i wasn’t there…what happened?
—
Trending:
#nwtr
#NOWHERETORUN
#danheng
#sampoisback
#blade
#nwtrisover
#belobog
#seeleinterview
#leaks
.
.
.
—
alpha wolf (i lost a bet)🔒
@sw
@blade_priv what the fuck is going on
(quote — Xianzhou Gossip ✔ @xianzhougossip: The casting of the new BL drama, based on the popular BL novel “Nowhere to Run”, has been leaked, revealing long-time enemies of the showbiz Dan Heng and Blade as the two main leads.)
2 likes
bladie (lost a bet) 🔒 @blade_priv
— replying to @sw
dont ask questions you dont want to know the answers to
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alpha wolf (i lost a bet) 🔒 @sw
— replying to @blade_priv
unfortunately im vv interested in the answer 2 my qn
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bladie (lost a bet) 🔒 @blade_priv
— replying to @sw
no
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kafka 🔒 @nilkafka
— replying to @sw
I’ll dm u deets
—
Welt🔒
@welt_
Dan Heng, what is this?
(quote — Xianzhou Gossip ✔ @xianzhougossip: The casting of the new BL drama, based on the popular BL novel “Nowhere to Run”, has been leaked, revealing long-time enemies of the showbiz Dan Heng and Blade as the two main leads.)
3 likes
trash lover🔒 @caecaecae
— replying to @welt_
@ the poor guy he’ll never see it
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Welt 🔒 @welt_
— replying to @childe_
Right. @dhplsdni
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dh 🔒 @dhplsdni
— replying to @welt_
i don't know how we got here..
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Welt 🔒 @welt_
— replying to @dhplsdni
So the news is fake?
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dh 🔒 @dhplsdni
— replying to @welt_
unfortunately, no
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trash lover🔒 @caecaecae
— replying to @dhplsdni
WHAT DO U MAEN?????????
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trash lover🔒 @caecaecae
— replying to @dhplsdni
actually ill go ask himeko
***
Three months before
“I will not allow my artiste to enter this production, and that is final!” A loud, firm thud came from the fist that pounded onto the table, anger seething from curled fingers.
Even though Dan Heng was the one being defended here, he still couldn’t help but jump a little and scoot away from his agent. He has never, ever seen Himeko this angry before. Even the casting director from the drama’s production team seemed shocked at her outburst — after all, Himeko was known to have a calm and kind temperament in the entertainment industry.
“W-well, look, Ms Himeko. I’m sure we can work something out,” The casting director was a little shaken, but still bit the bullet and continued to persuade her. “The director is insistent that they act as the main characters. Money is not a problem. I’m sure Mr Dan Heng and Mr Blade are professionals that are able to collaborate on just one production—”
“No means no,” Himeko was calmer now, but her voice was still as sharp as a knife, and Dan Heng could practically see it drawing blood at the casting director’s neck. “I did not come down here with my client for this waste of time today. If there is nothing else, we will go.”
When she finished, she stood up, spun on her heel, and exited the room. Dan Heng sighed, gave the confounded casting director a slight apologetic nod, then followed after the woman who had just gone out.
The walk out of the building was dead silent. Well, almost.
“...I can take the offer, you know,” Dan Heng said after a while. “It’s not everyday a production is so insistent to cast me as one of their mains.”
Himeko stopped in her tracks. “You’re famous enough to be sought out by any show or any movie. One missed offer won’t cost you anything,” she retorted immediately, but then softened, sighing. “I know you’re saying this because you don’t want to make my job any harder than it already is, but as your manager and agent, my job is to not make your job any harder.
“Everyone in the world knows your grievances with him. And I don’t want you to suffer for months on end working with someone you don’t like — hate, even. I don’t know what got into the producers’ heads.”
Dan Heng went quiet.
Himeko was right. He knew that he would barely survive even a month in that production. But it was “Nowhere to Run”, a novel that he had a rather…complicated relationship with. Being offered the main character for the production of this novel was something he never thought could happen, and now that it did it was something he didn’t want to let go of so easily.
But if he was going to be the male love interest, then…
It would be rather ironic.
When they finally reached the lobby, they quickly realised that it was raining heavily outside and that there was no way to get to the open-air carpark without getting soaked.
“I’ll go ask March 7th to get the car around,” Himeko sighed and stepped away from Dan Heng, leaving him alone for a while in the lobby. Dan Heng nodded, and let her go.
While waiting, he stared out of the glass walls of the building, watching as raindrops fell outside, splattering on the walls and making little droplets of water slide down the glass.
It reminded him slightly of that day, where it was raining just like this, when the life he once knew all came crumbling down.
The only difference was that it happened in a whole other place, and that his vision was blurry for there were tears streaming down his face just as the rain was flowing from the glass walls. And…he should be standing there. Behind him.
Suddenly, he had an urge to laugh. It has been so long since his mind had ever went there, and he thought he was long over it. But it seemed that everything that he thought he had left behind still lingered in the back of his mind, surfacing now to grab him by the head, and make him turn around almost like he was on instinct.
All just to confirm, just to check, even though he didn’t expect to see—
Dan Heng froze when he saw two eyes of crimson enter his sight. Even if that face was under a mask, there was no mistaking it.
—Blade.
***
Fuck. Blade’s mind cursed, almost violently so.
Dan Heng.
The last time he ever saw the other in person was three years ago. He could still remember him then, dark hair tousled more often than not, always wearing a stoic expression. But his eyes had always been bright and expressive, a window to his soul that he only made known to Blade. And now three years later, Dan Heng still looked the same. Still felt the same to him. The man didn’t seem like he changed at all.
That is, with the exception that his small yet welcoming smile was gone. His eyes were unreadable.
He hated how his heart immediately ached at the sight of him, a reminder of what he lost and could never get back. He hated how he felt anger, hatred, sadness and longing all at the same time just looking at the man standing in front of him, the man that he vowed never to interact with ever again.
But even so, his mouth itched to open and say something, anything, even though he knew it wouldn’t be anything good. It would be better to put his mouth to use than his fists anyway.
What is he doing here?
Before he could step forward and do so though, a sharp, clear tune played by a suona cut right through the thick tension, breaking the moment.
Blade looked down to his pocket. It was his ringtone.
He quickly fished out his phone to answer the call, turning away from Dan Heng to pretend that they did not see each other at all.
“Hello?” Blade answered the phone, all the while suppressing the urge to turn back around to look at Dan Heng.
“Bladie,” Kafka’s familiar voice came through the phone. “I’m still trying to find a parking spot, so give me another five minutes maybe.”
Kafka was his manager and agent, also a close friend that he has come to know after all these years. Blade would never admit it, but he knew he was glad that Kafka took up the job of being his manager when he was going through that rough patch in life, for she stayed and helped tremendously.
“Or else you can head up first—never mind, a spot just opened up. Alright, I’ll hang up now, I’ll join you at the lobby soon.”
“Wait—” But when Blade pulled the phone from his ear, he saw that it was already out of the call page. Kafka had hung up much faster than he would have liked. He could still feel Dan Heng’s presence behind him, the latter’s gaze searing into his soul.
What should he do? Turn around and punch him to finally get the last word and dispel the anger that has been stewing for years on end? That would give him an immediate death sentence in the industry. Should he go up and talk to him? With his acting skills, it definitely can be pulled off. But it’s absolutely unthinkable. Stand there and pretend that he couldn’t see him? Definitely the most viable option — yet also deathly awkward.
But before he could even decide on doing anything, he suddenly felt the pressure lifted off his back. Blade instinctively whirled around, only to see Dan Heng walking out of the lobby, all the way to where a car was waiting outside to fetch him. He did not look back.
Relief poured over Blade, but with it also came a tinge of regret, which he wished he didn’t notice.
It was only when Dan Heng’s car drove off did Kafka finally appear outside the lobby with an umbrella in hand.
“Bladie, you alright?” That was the first thing she asked when she stepped into the lobby, casually stuffing her dripping umbrella into a plastic bag. “You look a little pale — it’s like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I might as well have. Blade bitterly thought. But all he did was shake his head. “I’m fine. It’s the lighting. Let’s go up.”
***
Two minutes later, Blade and Kafka finished checking in and made their way to one of the many offices in the building, and found themselves sitting in front of a nervous casting director, who was trying her very best not to show it.
“Very, uh, pleased to meet you, Mr Blade and Ms Kafka,” the casting director said as she flashed a bright smile at them. “As we have previously mentioned before, we would like to cast Mr Blade in the new drama that we are producing, Nowhere to Run, which is adapted from a novel of the same name.”
“It’s a BL drama, is it not? If my memory doesn’t fail me, the novel is of the BL genre,” Kafka said calmly, yet each of her words were sharp.
“Well, yes, but the novel is very famous, and with our production team, the casting list, and the budget we have, we are sure to produce a high quality drama. And that is why we are keen on hiring Mr Blade.”
“What is the role you are offering?”
“The main character, Yingxing. Our director thinks that you and the character are very alike, and as the casting director, I agree with our director’s vision,” The casting director nodded eagerly. “If you are unfamiliar with the character, I can definitely talk you through it right now. And if you think that it is suitable, we can call you back another day to do a quick chemistry test with the male lead—”
“Wait, before anything else, I would like to know who the male lead is,” Kafka interrupted her.
“...And why is that?” The casting director swallowed.
“You know very well what happened a few years ago. We need to make sure that it’s someone Blade can work with amicably.”
There was a moment of silence as the casting director stared at the both of them, and it was obvious that she was trying her best to construct her next sentence carefully.
But Blade already knew the answer. With the casting director being so nervous from the start, and with Dan Heng’s appearance in the lobby — no way it was a coincidence.
“Well…about that,” the casting director weakly grinned. “The planned actor for our male lead Yinyue-jun is Dan Heng—”
“—but,” she quickly filled in as Kafka’s eyes narrowed, her mouth already halfway open to protest. “Mr Dan Heng has not agreed to our proposal, so there is a high chance that we might need to find another male lead. How does that sound?”
Kafka seemed to be slightly satisfied by that answer and leaned back into her chair, though her eyebrows were still slightly downturned. “Can you guarantee that the male lead will not be Dan Heng? As you are aware, I am also Blade’s manager, which means that I will also have to deal with his reputation. Due to unfortunate incidents following the production of ‘Cloudcry’, participating in this production might bring a lot of backlash.”
“I…cannot guarantee that.”
“Then—”
“We’ll consider it,” Blade cut into their conversation, his voice low yet loud in the small office. Both their gazes immediately darted to him, one hopeful and the other unreadable.
He didn’t know why he said what he did. He just felt like he had to. The idea of working together with Dan Heng again — he hated it. Almost every single cell in him rejected that idea. But the other tiny, tiny part of him was drawing him in, entertaining that possibility. Of standing on the same stage again as he did for one last time. To show him that he’s different. Better. And moved on.
A proper closure, of sorts.
It was such a horrible, horrible idea. He knew. But he couldn’t help it.
“Thank you!” Blade could tell that the casting director was trying her very best not to squeal in excitement. “I’ll email you the testing dates and we can all decide after that, okay?”
Kafka didn’t try to argue. All she did was cast a questioning look at Blade, and from the look on her face Blade could tell that she was a little entertained. “It looks like Blade made his choice. We’ll take our leave now then.”
“Have a nice day,” the casting director sent them out with a wide grin on her face.
On their way back to the car, Kafka questioned him with a light, amused smile on her face. “Why did you agree?”
“I didn’t agree. I said we would consider it,” Blade muttered. “Besides, the casting director already said that he turned down the offer.”
“She also said that she cannot guarantee that he would stay out of the production.”
“You know Himeko. If she turned down an offer, she knows what she’s doing. There’s no way she would let Dan Heng pick up the offer. If the casting director can’t guarantee that, then Himeko would.”
“Mm, you’re right.” Kafka shrugged. “Honestly, I think it would be quite interesting if you and Dan Heng work together again on the same set, don’t you think? As on-screen lovers, no less.”
“Only to you.”
Kafka laughed. “Unfortunately my job still entails the fact that I need to protect your reputation. So if Dan Heng’s in, you’re out.”
Even with her playful teasing, Blade knew she was a little concerned about him accepting the offer. As his long-time work partner she had witnessed the way he had crumbled three years ago after all. He knew she didn’t want him to go through that again.
So he sealed the real reason for not turning down the offer deep within his heart.
***
“I know that look,” Himeko flatly said the moment they got back to their office. “If you tell me you want to take up the offer, I will pack your schedule for the next year with all the requests and deals sitting in our exploding inbox.”
“No,” Dan Heng retorted. “I wasn’t going to tell you that.”
Work with Blade? His ex? Like hell he would—
—those thoughts didn’t quite keep his want to take up the offer away.
“Dan Heng, do you really think you can hide it from me? It’s written all over your face. My years of experience with you were not for nothing,” Himeko stated matter-of-factly before settling herself down at her desk, pulling her keyboard out in a practised manner. “I know it’s ultimately not my decision to make, but before you make your choice I’ll remind you to think it through carefully.”
She was unfortunately…not wrong. Though, Dan Heng had no reason to join, no reason to go looking for trouble. If he joined the production, that would be the only thing that he would attract. But for the script and the story itself…he didn’t want to let the opportunity go just because of Blade.
“Nowhere to Run” was a story that pulled him out from the abyss that he fell into three years ago, after everything broke out. During the lowest point of his life, the story became his source of comfort, even though the story was rather bittersweet.
As much as he would not like to admit it, the relationship between the two main characters of the novel reminded him too much of what he had lost, but instead of making him spiral into regret, it helped him to relieve the burden of loss he had during that period of time.
And eventually, by the end of the book, Dan Heng was able to stand back on his feet and move on again.
He never revisited the book. He loved the story and plot, yes, but it would have been too painful to return to. Or maybe he just didn’t want to incite old memories and find that he hasn’t moved on after all.
…And he hasn’t. He wasn’t oblivious, and neither was he going to deceive himself. He was still attached, to both the book and to whatever that remained of him in his memories. Dan Heng could gather as much, with the complex feelings that rose within him this morning.
Now that both the story and Blade are returning to his life at the same time…he found that it was poetically ironic. He had put down the book, but it seemed that he couldn’t run from it his entire life after all. Nowhere to run, literally.
So what would be better than to finally close this chapter of his life by accepting the role, acting it out, and ending everything there? It would be like him bidding goodbye to the story, and…to Blade. Then he could leave without regrets, without pain, and remember all of this by its peaceful resolution.
The love story of Yingxing and Dan Feng, and the failed one of Blade and Dan Heng, would finally have nothing to do with him and his life.
“Kafka’s not looking for trouble. She won’t let Blade accept the offer,” Dan Heng said almost confidently, even though some part of him was slightly doubtful, knowing fully well that that one in a million chance might just happen. Or maybe some part of him had wanted it to happen, as much as he wished otherwise.
Himeko narrowed her eyes at him, but Dan Heng’s act didn’t falter. He was an actor after all — he wouldn’t be one if he did not know how to put up an act.
And Himeko, who maybe should have known better by now, didn’t see through it at all, because she let her gaze fall as she sighed, “The casting director mentioned a ‘chemistry’ test, did she not?”
It was not a definite ‘yes’, but Dan Heng quietly counted it as a win for now.
***
Before he received the date for the “chemistry” test — or more like an audition, except the fact that the cast had already been selected — Blade did his homework.
Of course he had to. Even though there was a huge chance that he might turn down the offer eventually — either by regretting his decision or getting forcefully pulled out of there by Kafka — he still had to deliver his duty as a professional actor.
“Nowhere to Run” was a novel of the danmei[1] genre, so it was much rooted in Xianzhou and Xianzhou culture. Set in ancient Xianzhou Luofu, it was a romance between an immortal high elder, Dan Feng, and a mere mortal, Yingxing, and how immortality tore them apart and brought them back together.
After reading through the entire book once (which he ended up binging by pulling an all-nighter), Blade could finally get the popularity and the appeal of the novel, and personally, he quite liked the story too. The balance of angst and fluff was perfect, and the way the plot progressed kept the reader glued to it. The bittersweet ending was especially a nice bonus.
A love story that struggled through the duty to their nations and their people, and withstood the test of death, fragmented memories and time. While the plot wasn’t mindblowing, the writing sure was. It was beautiful, conveying each character’s pain and emotions so distinctly and in such an overwhelming manner that it gave Blade newfound motivation to act out this moving story.
And the characters…their relationship and dynamic was painfully familiar. But he tried his best not to fixate on that.
Comparing the novel to the little of the script that he was given, it seemed that Fu Xuan was planning on sticking to the original as much as she could, which was surprising, considering the usual norm despite censorship becoming more and more lenient as the years go by, and also not surprising, since it was Fu Xuan.
Fu Xuan, the unconventional yet most awarded and appraised director in Xianzhou's entertainment scene. Each and every of her shows had to be high budget and well-filmed, even if it meant going into debt for a while when she first started.
Of course, she always earned it back with a huge amount of profit from the box office, and now that money stopped being a problem, it only meant that she had more room to experiment. The stories and plots she used were equally intriguing and interesting, daring sometimes, but somehow it would always be a hit.
Blade, who had worked with her once, learned that with Fu Xuan, trusting the process was the best road to success, even though he usually hated the process. But to want Blade and Dan Heng, who both experienced the biggest falling out of the century right in front of the public eye, to play as the main couple in this beautiful story?
“Unconventional” didn’t even begin to cut it.
So maybe Blade was crazy too, because he could see why Fu Xuan chose them for their respective roles. He had to admit, Dan Feng’s character was perfect for Dan Heng — they even shared a character in their names. Yingxing’s character didn’t quite fit his own personality, but he knew he could pull it off based on a few of his previous roles.
But ‘Blade and Dan Heng’ as ‘Yingxing and Dan Feng’?
The finger that was tapping against the script in his hand stopped, and Blade shook his head. He must be really tired, if his mind was wandering far away from the printed words on the paper. He then put the script down before collapsing flat onto his couch. No memorising or reviewing could happen with his sleep-addled mind.
He had half a mind to wash up and tuck himself to bed, but fatigue immediately chained him down onto the couch, rendering him reluctant to get back up. He wanted nothing more than to let his eyelids close and fall asleep, and relieve him from the thought of the impending “chemistry” test.
And so he did, with the script and the copy of the book on the table being the last to disappear from his vision.
***
“Himeko,” Dan Heng called from across the office.
“Yes?”
“Do I have time on Saturday two weeks from now?”
Himeko looked up from her computer and frowned. “Why do you ask?”
“March 7th and Stelle are asking me to accompany them to an event as their plus one. Or rather, plus half. Caelus didn’t want to go, so now they’re pestering me instead,” Dan Heng sighed. “I shouldn’t have anything on that day, right?”
His manager simply pressed her lips together for a second, then shrugged. “You shouldn’t have anything. However, something just came up.”
Dan Heng raised an eyebrow and circled around her desk to look at whatever she was pointing at on her computer screen.
It was the “chemistry test” notice for Nowhere to Run.
He stared at the email for a long second. He should have weighed his options before deciding, but his heart had already chosen his path too fast.
“Tell them I’ll be there.”
Regret only sunk in after Himeko nodded and sent out a short but polite reply email. The mere thought of having to stay with him in a room for hours on end, and possibly having to do so for months to come was enough for him to tell Himeko to delete the email she just sent out.
But he held back. He wanted the role too badly for this. And Kafka probably wouldn’t let Blade take the role because of reputation and backlash problems…right?
****
Oh, how wrong Dan Heng was.
On the day of the dreaded “chemistry” test, the moment he stepped into the audition room, he caught a glimpse of navy off to his right and he instantly spun around.
Blade, who was sitting at the very corner of the room and silently scrolling on his phone, came into his line of sight.
What is he doing here?
Even though Dan Heng had wanted to go with the role because of Blade, he was also so sure that he wouldn’t see his face again — after all, he trusted Kafka’s ability to convince Blade out of the role, or scare the casting director into giving up on Blade being an option. Maybe it was that assurance that made him have the courage to say okay to the role.
Maybe he should have agreed to March 7th and Stelle’s invite after all.
He quickly decided that he should turn away and proceed into the room as if nothing happened. But before he even could tear his eyes away, Blade’s gaze just happened to turn up to meet him.
That one look lasted only a single second, yet being locked in his gaze felt like an eternity.
Blade was the first to break eye contact, darting up to look at the casting director, mouth moving to speak words he couldn’t hear.
“This is not what we agreed on,” Himeko had stepped into the room right after Dan Heng did, and it seemed that she had noticed Blade too. “That’s it, we’re out—”
“Hold it right there, no one is leaving this room just yet,” a voice emerged out of nowhere and immediately stopped them in their tracks. A familiar one at that.
“Fu Xuan,” Dan Heng greeted.
In the entertainment circle, Fu Xuan was one of the more infamous directors. She was easy to get along with off-set, however she was not necessarily easy to work with. Her serious and blunt nature on-set sometimes can be demanding and very taxing for the actors working with her.
She was also one of the few directors that implemented method acting from time to time, so actors are generally afraid of working with her. But the quality of her works has always been high, and she knows what she’s doing.
Dan Heng has worked with her only twice in his entire career, but twice was enough for them to develop a steady friendship outside of work.
…Though he was starting to think of cutting off ties with her since she was the one who brought them all here in the first place.
“We agreed on the condition that Blade is not in the production,” Himeko said simply.
“According to my casting director, that does not seem to be the case. Dan Heng here said that he will consider the role, and the casting director said that everything can be decided after today,” Fu Xuan said calmly with a straight face, almost as if she was used to these situations. “You’ll never know — you might just neutralise the biggest controversy of the century.”
“Or complicate it and worsen it,” Kafka’s voice made its way into the conversation as Blade’s manager stepped in from behind Fu Xuan. But somehow instead of looking displeased, she looked rather…amused.
“I will have to agree on that. Both our clients cannot work with each other,” Himeko chimed in.
Fu Xuan was silent for a second, then shrugged. “Fine then. I’ve invited other candidates to come in too, alright. But if anything, I want at least one of them to stay in the production, that isn’t asking for too much, no?”
“So it’s a competition. Of who can act and portray their character better,” Dan Heng stated matter-of-factly. “If Yingxing or Yinyue-jun is better.”
“Well, yes, if you want to put it that way,” a smile broke through Fu Xuan’s stoic expression. “And that entirely depends on both of your performances, Dan Heng. I’m looking forward to what you both will show me today.”
Dan Heng could hear a light “hmph” off at the side. He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Blade.
***
The auditions were — least to say, painful.
Of course, the entire time during the auditions, Blade and Dan Heng both avoided eye contact, trying to mind their business as much as possible. It was all thanks to Fu Xuan, who did not force the both of them to do a chemistry test right off the bat.
Surprisingly, she was actually forgiving enough to let them start with the other secondary candidates, and have them run through each one who was supposed to be their counterpart in the show.
Though, it might not have been very forgiving for the poor candidates.
In their current society, BL dramas were not held to high standards, and if the director wasn’t Fu Xuan, it definitely would have much lower budgeting and lower quality. It was common for BL dramas to be the debuting stage for new actors. To agencies and companies churning out new talent, BL dramas were constantly treated like platforms for free advertising.
Only a few lucky ones — for example, Cloudcry — were produced with higher standards and had much more popular and experienced casting. Unfortunately, the entire world knew how it eventually turned out in the end.
So almost every single one that came in were new, inexperienced actors, who got spooked the second they stepped into the room. Their eyes would dart from Dan Heng to Blade, then vice versa, over and over again in nervousness.
Dan Heng could only imagine what was running through all of their minds. To have two famous actors in the same room tensing up the atmosphere with their worse-than-bad history, anyone would start quietly panicking.
This nervousness would then translate into their acting, manifesting in hundreds of ways — forgetting the script, unable to keep the exchange going even during heated scenes, or just simply being unable to deliver at all.
Of course, Dan Heng tried his very best to adapt to each actor’s flaws — he would slow down if he had to, or improvise to just egg his acting partner on. It wasn’t like him, oh not at all — Dan Heng was never the kind to give anyone a single chance. His type of acting was one that demanded his co-actor to catch up with his intensity and immersion.
He figured Fu Xuan knew that he wasn’t being himself, but it was the only thing he could do to show that, yes, I can work with any ‘Yingxing’ as Dan Feng, no matter how exhausting and irritating it can be. But undeniably, no matter how hard Dan Heng tried, there was still quite some awkwardness on the other actors’ side.
The only thing that brought him relief was the fact that Blade seemed to be facing problems on his side too, when acting with the multiple Dan Fengs. He didn’t seem to find the auditions any more easy or fun than Dan Heng did.
Fu Xuan obviously saw this all, with the constant frown on her face for the entirety of two hours. Dan Heng could even see her sigh in relief, when the final secondary candidate walked out of the door.
“Is there another one?” Blade asked from the middle of the acting space, and she shook her head.
“Then can I go home?” He immediately said without pause.
“Absolutely not,” Fu Xuan crossed her arms. “You and Dan Heng need to have a go together. That’s what we are here for.”
“I said I wanted to keep at least one of you. That means I have to choose the best between the both of you. What better test is there than to have you act with the person you dislike most in the world and have you hold up your act?”
She, unfortunately, made sense. The look on everyone’s faces in the room was enough to tell that they begrudgingly agreed with her logic.
Dan Heng subconsciously flicked his gaze to look at Blade, who also looked back at him, and Dan Heng immediately looked away. “Fine.”
“Blade?”
A reluctant hum.
The corners of Fu Xuan’s mouth raised up. “Then we have an agreement. How about we take ten before we do this? You guys can take a break and prepare yourselves first.”
***
Dan Heng sat in one corner of the room, his fingers gripping the script as he revised it over and over again. Or at least tried to, but he really didn’t need to since he had been saying the same lines for what felt like forever.
Instead he peeked at the other man across the room. Blade seemed to ignore his stare and was continuing to scroll on his phone instead. The air in the room was thick with tension — Dan Heng didn’t know if he wanted these ten minutes to last or pass by quickly. Dread was building up in him either way.
“Are you not going to talk to him or anything?” Himeko asked, settling herself right beside Dan Heng after a while. “To at least ease the tension a bit. For the scene later.”
“...No,” Dan Heng shook his head slowly. He wanted to take the role because of his love for the material source and his want to give all this a proper closure, but he hadn’t actually thought about what he needed to do in order to fulfil those goals. For example, talking to Blade.
He didn’t want to. He knew if he ever tried to hold a civil conversation with him, a jab would come out of one of their mouths and it would eventually evolve into a huge fight. He’s not quite eager to revisit the ruins of their past and relight that blaze of anger just yet.
“Ten minutes is up! Everyone back at their places, we’re going for the last audition run for today!” Fu Xuan suddenly announced from the side. Dan Heng gave the script in his hand a last glance before standing up to take his place.
The scene where they have to act — and have been repeating for the past two hours — was one of the most intense scenes in Nowhere to Run. It was the scene where Yingxing died in Dan Feng’s arms, and when Dan Feng had to make the difficult choice of choosing to revive him and going against everything he ever stood for in life.
Dan Heng and Blade positioned themselves on opposite sides of the imaginary stage, mentally preparing and setting themselves into character.
He’s not Blade. I’m not Dan Heng, Dan Heng told himself as he levelled his gaze with the man he once held so close to his heart, the man who broke it all apart and left without turning back. But now, the man standing before him was none of that. He’s…Yingxing. I’m Dan Feng. And…
Dan Heng scanned Blade’s face, trying to find something of old to cling onto, and grant him an easier way into his character. At first, there was nothing, but then Blade’s eyes softened, striking something into Dan Heng’s heart that Dan Feng immediately grasped onto.
And I am in love with this man.
“3, 2, 1, action!”