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Porsche is seven when his world falls apart, the funeral passes up in a blur, face after face, most of them he doesn’t even recognize, all telling him how sorry they are for his loss; it feels like a nightmare, but he comes to the realization that is real when he finds his baby brother asleep on the funeral home, holding a picture frame of their parents on his little arms, with dry tears in his face, and he knows that from that day forward he would have to take care of them both.
A man comes and picks them up at the funeral, he says he is their uncle from their mother side, his mother never mentioned any family when he had asked her, but she heard a few times his father mentioning “brothers” in hush voices, maybe they had a fight that's why they never reached out, he wants to ask but he is so tired, and his uncle looks serious, maybe mentioning his mother would hurt him as well, so he just lays back against the car seat and holds his brother hand while he sleeps.
He is a bit weary of his uncle, he wears a serious face all the time, but he feeds them and clothes them, and he holds Chay while he cries. He also helps Porsche with his Taekwondo practice.
The training helps, he feels sad all the time unless he is at school with friends or training for a match, he wins a few medals that make him proud, but he wishes his parents could be there for him.
His uncle is there for every match, with Chay beside him, they look happy when Porsche wins, that makes him feel less alone. After each match they go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate; even if he doesn't win, where he gets to eat all he wants.
When Porsche is ten he gets into a fight, he finds one of his classmates bullying a younger kid and he just snaps and punches the kid right in the face, he doesn't hurt him much, but seeing his nose bleed fills him with a weird satisfaction.
He feels like shit later, when his uncle comes to pick him up, he doesn't say anything on the ride home, when they arrive the house is silent, Chay is still at school. Porsche sits on the couch and prepares himself for a scolding.
“Tell me what happened” - his uncle says, to his surprise he doesn't look angry
“Didn't the teacher told you?” - he sounds childish, he knows.
“She did, but I want to hear it from you” - he says in a calm voice, and Porsche goes on a rant, the bully, the kid, how it reminded him of Chay and how he could just not do something. His uncle is quiet, just lets him go on and on until he is finished and he can feel his face burning, when he calms down and can breathe properly his uncle speaks.
“You did good Porsche, I am not mad at you” Porsche looks up confused, he is pretty sure his parents would never say that, would they?
“I made a kid bleed” he knows he did wrong, even if the other kid was wrong as well.
“Yeah, that was a bit much, but it's the way you know how to fight, come with me” Chan stands up, he does not wait for Porsche that stays a few seconds looking after his uncle dumbfounded.
After a while he follows, they go to the room they had made into a small gym, where Porsche usually practices and his uncle uses to exercise.
His uncle has removed his suit jacket and tie, and is waiting for him in the middle of the mat, he goes.
“You are trained in martial arts for competition, not for fighting. When you fight for real there are no rules, but you have to be careful as well, you could have knocked that kid out without breaking a sweat and hurting your hand” he points at him, and Porsche hides his hands behind his back, his right hand does hurt quite a lot. “I can teach you how to do that, just never use this in competitions.” he says with a smile, to his surprise it looks wicked, he had never seen that smile in his uncle before.
And so they start, Porsche won’t understand until later that what his uncle was teaching him was street smarts, how to evade and trick, and even how to fight more than one tug at a time, when he is older he teaches him how to evade knives and - “just in case” his uncle says, pointing a gun at his head. He is eighteen and apparently his uncle’s birthday present is teaching him how to evade a fucking gun, why would he ever need that he doesn't know, and why does his uncle know several ways to do so he decides not to ask, instead he just goes along and learns.
He gets a job at a bar, he starts cleaning the floors and bathrooms and then becomes a waiter, his charms do get him generous tips. Later he is mesmerized by the bartender's ability to make cocktails without looking, and even putting some drinks on fire, he wants to learn to do that.
He doesn't need the money, their tuition is paid by the money his parents left him or his uncle, he is not sure, he has never heard his uncle talk about a job but they live comfortably.
He works on the weekends, and gets enough money to buy concert tickets, outings with his friends, he buys things for Chay as well, who is shy sometimes to ask his uncle, like a new pair of sneakers he doesn't really need, or new headphones.
It's nice, school is good and he likes the work at the bar, his first cocktail sucks but he eventually gets good at it.
***
He meets Kinn at the bar, it's the first time he takes a guy out back, but he was insistent and Porsche won't deny he found him cute; he did not regret it at all, what he did not expect was for Kinn to ask him out on a date, none of his hookups ever asked, so he just panicked and accepted.
Kinn takes him out for dinner the next weekend, he knows that he has money and Porsche is not poor but is definitely not rich, so he is glad when Kinn takes them to a nice restaurant with an affordable menu. He lets Kinn order some fancy wine and they have a great night, he is surprised to find out they have a lot of things in common. After dinner they go out for a walk and end up making out in a not-so illuminated part of a park.
They go out a few times, and Porsche can’t believe each date is better than the last, one night they go to a nightclub one of his friends owns, and when Kinn introduces him as his boyfriend, he could swear his heart stopped. He spends the rest of the night smiling like an idiot. Kinn friends are nice, especially Tay, he seems more acute to Kinn reactions and he seems happy to see his friend having fun.
That night when they get to the hotel they will be staying at, Porsche can’t stop giggling. He could blame the alcohol, but they both know he didn't drink that much.
“What’s going on?” Kinn asks him, it seems his giggling is contagious and Kinn can't stop smiling.
Porsche feels his face go hot, and puts his arms around Kinn’s neck and hides his face on his chest. “Come on, you can tell me…” he insists.
“You called me your boyfriend” he says finally, pressing his face harder to his chest.
“Oh…” Kinn tone and tense muscles makes Porsche look up, Kinn normal confidence is gone and for the first time Porsche thinks he looks scared.
“No, no, it's ok, it's just… gosh this is so embarrassing… I just had never been anyone’s boyfriend before” he says giggling and hiding again and he feels Kinn relaxing. “Well you are my boyfriend now, no take backs” Kinn says, giving Porsche a Kiss at the top of his head,
“No take backs” he murmurs, holding him tighter.
***
They have been dating for six months now and Porsche could not be happier, his brother and uncle are starting to notice something is going on, not that is a secret, it just hasn't come up. He knows Kinn’s family moves in dangerous business, at least his elder brother and his father.
He starts with Chay, the three of them go out to a cafe, as he expected Chay loves Kinn instantly and when Chay finds out that Wik is Kinn's younger brother, he almost see’s him have a mental breakdown, they have a great time.
He knows his uncle will be harder, he doesn’t think he would mind the fact that is a guy he is bringing home, but he know his uncle can be a bit overprotective of them, and he is not sure how he would react if he know’s more about Kinn.
He invites Kinn’s to his house for lunch, it’s only the two of them, Chay is at camp, and his Uncle is running some errands till night time so he gets the scare of his life when he gets their drinks to the backyard and he finds his uncle pointing a gun at Kinn.
“what the fuck are you doing uncle?”
“what are you doing here?” his uncle asks Kinn, ignoring Porsche altogether.
“Uncle?” Kinn says, and to his surprise he doesn't look scared at having a gun pointed at his face.
“why are you pointing a gun at my boyfriend?” Porsche asks, waking slowly towards them.
“Did you approach him on propose?” his uncle face is focused on Kinn
“No, I didn't even knew you were his uncle or that you two live together.”
Porsche hates being treated as if he is not in the room.
“Uncle Chan! Stop it, whats going on?” his uncle finally looks at him, he has never seen him so terrified in his life.
***
He can't stop crying, he is not sure even why anymore, his eyes hurt like hell and he feels his chest is about to explode. There is a knock on the door.
“Go away Uncle” he says, sounding more tired than angry.
“It’s me” Kinn says, and Porches heart stops a bit, he thought he had left already, he is such a terrible boyfriend, if they keep being together after all this.
“Can I come in love?” He sounds worried too. “Yeah”
He doesn't seem surprised to see him crying his heart out, he closes the distance between them and sits on the bed “is there anything you need?”
He stays quiet for a while. There are so many thoughts running through his mind, but Kinn hands on his hair ground him. “Can you hold me?” he asks, moving a little bit so they can both fit on his bed. Kinn nods and lies on the bed beside him and holds him in his arms, that's enough to calm him down a bit, Kinn resumes patting his hair, after that he falls asleep in no time.
The next morning when Porsche wakes up, Kinn is still by his side, fast asleep, his arms are wrapping him and he has never felt so at home, he can't help but stare. After a while Kinn wakes up, and smiles brightly at Porsche.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better, thanks for staying. I was scared I wouldn't see you again”
“I am not going anywhere” Kinn says, and gives him a quick kiss on his forehead.
“I had never seen him show so many feelings at once” and Porsche remembers the first days, even the first year, until his uncle started to play around with them more and being a more constant figure in their lives, and he knows in his heart he actually cared… cares about them, but it feels like to much right now.
“He had never pointed a gun at me before, that's for sure” Kinn says, trying to lighten the mood, Porsche just hits him gently in the chest, making them both laugh.
“I know he loves us, I just don't like being lied to”
“I am sorry, I really didn’t knew”
“Oh I know, you are a terrible liar, I would have known right away” - he gets hit lightly in retaliation.
“What do you want to do now?”
“I am not sure, but I will need to talk to him eventually”
After he untangles from Kinn they go downstairs to get breakfast, there is no sing of his uncle, Porsche makes some pancakes, and even though he doesn't really want to, he gets ready to go to school.
***
When he comes back home he finds his Uncle sitting in the backyard bench, he goes and sits besides him, waiting for his uncle to speak.
“I am sorry I pointed a gun at your boyfriend”
“You should apologize to him, not me”
“I already did”
“Good”
“I am also sorry for lying to you and your brother, I wanted to keep you out of that world… that’s what your mother wanted”
He looks at his uncle with glossy eyes.
“Are you even my uncle?”
Chan looks down at this hands “Not by blood, no. But we grew up together, she was like a sister to me” he takes a big breath and continues “the day you where born I was carrying you in my arms when he told her brothers she wanted out, for the sake of her family, I was just trying to honor that”
“I understand uncle” and he hopes calling him uncle helps “but I think I still need time”
“I know, take the time you need”
“Thank you, for taking care of us, I don’t think we could have survived without you”
“I know I have never said this to you, both I love you both” he says finally looking at him.
Porsche smiles, and Chay decides to show up at that time.
“You didn't have to, you showed it with actions, we love you too uncle” Chay gives him a hug that makes Porsche smile fondly.
He knows they still have much to talk about, and that he will eventually forgive his uncle completely; that’s just who he is, how he was raised. So he joins the hug, gives his baby brother a forehead kiss, and offers to make dinner, Kinn joins them.