Chapter Text
The clock on the wall struck six o'clock as it hovered over The Bear's awakening kitchen.
Carmen's figure boomed from the lobby doors, and blurts of "morning chef"s sounded from the staff.
"Good morning, chefs," Carmen acknowledged in a chest voice loud enough to carry even to the dishwashers, Angel and Manny, who were sleepily washing cookware.
"Morning, Jeff," Tina greeted when Carmen approached her station. Tina reached for a kiss on his cheek, which he allowed with a flattered chuckle; apparently she was in a good mood.
Carmen continued to the handwashing sink and heard Tina yell at Angel to wake up so she could start on the first beef broth.
He scrubbed his fingernails until any ash-rims from his breakfast cigarrate were gone, and then he donned a navy apron.
Pepper, garlic, cumin, chili powder were the last in the beef rub mixture. Carmen mixed the powder pallets in a bowl. His hands fell into a familiar trance when he rubbed the seasoning over a boulder of cold, squishy, red beef.
By the cacophony that had suddenly blew up around Carmen's ears, a half hour had whizzed by, and Marcus, the funny pastry chef, had arrived.
"Uh-oh, it's the Wicked Witch!" Richie's voice called later from beyond the kitchen.
Marcus and Gary cackled at Carmen's station like dogs. Carmen finally glanced up from the beef he was searing.
Sydney had stopped by the open locker rooms. Carmen tried not to stare at his angle, but couldn't help but notice she was wearing a new headscarf.
It had cute pandas and koalas. He kept his attention on the beef until he felt it was appropiate to greet her.
"Morning, chef," Carmen said, his throat getting sticky when she smiled at him. He heard Richie blast his name from the lobby.
"Hi," Sydney replied. She sourced an applicator bottle and doused Carmen's pan-sear with more water. "You're welcome."
"Thank you, chef. Is that a new scarf?"
Sydney gushed. "Yeah, I got a box of them delivered last night, so there will be a new one tomorrow, too."
A grin flashed on Carmen's face. "Can't wait," he said.
"I mean, if it's in the dress code these are okay, right?"
"They're perfect, Sydney, don't worry about it." Carmen admired her head. He wanted to cuddle that head.
Sydney made a reach for Carmen's arms. "I can do this if you want, I think Richie's calling you."
"I need water," Carmen implored, looking pointedly through to the color of the meat as steam billowed in his face. The scent was savory but still gamey, raw. "It's bleeding, chef--hurry, please."
Sydney quieted Carmen's pan with a generous amount of water. Carmen didn't look satisfied, and asked her for olive oil. She used the one already in her hands. She upped the burner gas and added some onions.
"Are you always two steps ahead of me?" Carmen commented.
Sydney said, "maybe."
Carmen chortled once, inviting Sydney to giggle. He said, "Heard, heard. Take this for a second." Then, he went to the safe to refill Richie's cash register.
He returned quickly to the beef and gently reassumed his position at the stove.
Sydney's hand planted on Carmen's back to make room for Angel delivering cleaned utensils to their station.
Sydney's fingerpads grazed Carmen's spine as she retied his loosening apron, sending sparks flying to his stomach. He imagined her fingers untying it again in the walk-in, and riding up his bare skin.
"Thank you, chef," said Carmen.
"It's all good," Sydney replied.
She settled into her preferred spot beside the head chef. The kitchen crescendoed with the addition of Ebrahaiem's favorite dial radio that was still alive and kicking.
The noise gave them a space to work silently with each other. Colors and scents of their workspace sent off signals in their brains to either adjust the temperature, or toss the pan of caramelizing vegetables. Another morning voluntarily webbed in each other's cocoon, where food reigned and fleeting touches entered where they could.
As the morning rush began to slow down, Sydney took a deep breath and looked around the kitchen with satisfaction. The orders were all caught up and the diners were enjoying their meals. She turned to Carmen with a grin on her face and said, "We make a great team, chef."
Carmen smiled back at her, feeling a sense of pride swell in his chest. "Yes, we do. I couldn't ask for a better sous."
Sydney's heart fluttered at the compliment. She had been working at their restaurant The Original Beef for a while now, and she truly felt valued. Carmen had a way of pushing her to be better that worked.
As they began to clean up the kitchen, Carmen turned to Sydney with a serious expression on his face. "I wanted to talk to you about something, Sydney."
"What's up?" she asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into her voice.
Carmen took a deep breath before speaking. The Berzattos had a habit of being too blunt. It was great for selling sandwiches but terrible for dealing with normal people, and Carmen couldn't think of a way to mask it then.
"I know we've been working together for a while now and I don't want to risk anything, but I just have to say it. Sydney, I have feelings for you."
Sydney's eyes widened in surprise at the confession. She had always felt a spark between them, but never thought he would feel the same way. "Wow, dude! I don't even know how to answer that," she laughed.
"That's okay, Sydney. I just wanted to let you know how I feel. And if the feeling isn't mutual, I understand." Carmen busied himself with a stubborn spot.
Sydney looked up at him, her heart racing. She knew what her true answer was, but was scared to say it out loud. Finally, she took a deep breath and said, "it isn't."
Carmen's heart sank as he heard Sydney's words. A pit formed in his stomach as he tried to understand what he could have done wrong. Had he misread the signals? He had always thought there was something between them. Richie usually had a knack for reading rooms he couldn't. His mind raced with questions, but he tried to keep his composure as he responded.
"Uh...cool," Carmen said softly. "I just wanted to be honest with you about how I feel."
"I just don't think you're my type, chef...y'know?"
Carmen worked slower as if he had been hit with a blow. "Yeah, yeah, sure," he said with understanding. Though, the enthusiasm to empathize didn't reach his face. It glazed over in embarrassment, and then indifference.
Sydney nodded, still feeling the weight of the situation. She hated hurting Carmen, but she couldn't force herself to embrace something she didn't feel ready for. She watched as Carmen forced a smile and continued cleaning up the kitchen. The tension between them was thick, but they both kept their distance, giving each other space to process their emotions.
The rest of the shift went by in a blur, and before she knew it, Sydney was clocking out for the day. She said goodbye to Carmen as she left the kitchen, trying to ignore the awkwardness between them. She had no idea how things would be between them now that Carmen had confessed his feelings.
As Sydney walked home, her mind was filled with thoughts of Carmen. She had always admired him as a chef and valued him as a coworker. But now, she couldn't stop thinking about him as a potential love interest. She wondered if she had made the right decision in telling him she didn't feel the same way.
----
Days went by and Sydney and Carmen continued to work together, their interactions increasingly professional. Sydney couldn't help but feel like something had been lost between them. Their easy chemistry in the kitchen was gone and replaced with a tense silence.
The next day, they assumed their typical stations. Not after long, Carmen's blue eyes steeled over the sauce pot Sydney was working.
"Stop--stop it," Carmen commanded. He dumped the sauce and then restarted it.
"I-I thought it looked okay," Sydney spoke up. She removed her vegetables from a burner.
"Broken sauce, chef," Carmen said. "I thought the CIA taught you better than that. Just 'cause we got a little new dough doesn't mean your standards go out the window. Get me a clean whisk; this one's fucked."
Sydney sighed. "Yes, chef."
She knew he was trying to help her improve, but it still stung. She couldn't help but wonder if things would be different between them if she had said yes to his confession.
She brought him a clean whisk and he went to work.
"Sorry I was shitty," Carmen apologized, beating the hell out of the sauce. Like magic, it emulsified. His speed hypnotized Sydney until she remembered he was actually apologizing to her for once. "But I can't have you getting so complacent. We have to uphold the standards together, as a unit, yeah?"
Sydney nodded, feeling grateful for the apology and the reminder of their teamwork. "Yeah, I know. I'll do better."
Carmen nodded back, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I know you will. You're a damn good chef, Sydney."
Sydney felt her cheeks flush at the compliment. Again.
"Finish this," he said. Then he flew away to the expo. Some servers rushed to table new dishes when he hollered "hands!"
Sydney reclaimed her pot and kept his pace with the whisk, afterward feeling her arm ache to her collar bone. Her heartache at losing her chances with Carmen, however, followed her like a ghost until the end of her shift.
As the day dragged on, their tension returned and continued to grow. They spoke only when necessary and avoided making eye contact. Sydney couldn't help but feel like they were strangers now.