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“Mari, could you pass me those cookies?”
No answer.
Alya huffed. “Marinette, are you even listening?”
Mari hummed vaguely in acknowledgement.
“...so anyways, Adrien was covered in purple goo and then he turned into a cat, can you believe it? I had to chase him all the way to the moon to hold him still so Merlin could dunk him in a vat of dye and reverse it,” Alya rattled off gibberish, testing her friend.
“Oh, really?”
Marinette’s chin stayed propped on her hand as she gazed across the lunch room.
Alya followed her gaze, already knowing what she’d see.
Sure enough, Damian Wayne was scowling at his ball-of-sunshine best friend, who was laughing loudly at some joke– likely at Damian’s expense.
“What do you even see in him, girl?”
“Hm?”
“Damian!”
Marinette looked at Alya, suddenly focused. “What about him?”
Groaning, Alya rolled her eyes. “You are so obsessed with him.”
“Am not!”
“Oh, really? Then why were you staring at him all lunch?”
“I was trying to figure out what is going on in his spiky little head that makes him think he can lord it over me that he got two more points on our assignments,” Marinette sniffed.
“Sure you were.”
~~~
“Mari, you have to get up now,” Tikki squeaked, glancing between the clock and her still slumbering wielder.
“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, what is the meaning of this?!” she cried.
A soft snore escaped Marinette’s mouth.
“Is that Damian Wayne jogging?”
At Tikki’s last-ditch effort, Marinette sprung up and faceplanted into the windowsill, barely catching herself. “Where?”
Tikki snickered to herself. “Guess he’s a fast runner.”
Marinette glared suspiciously at her kwami.
~~~
“Marinette, look out!”
With a grunt, Mari stepped back, rubbing her head from the impact of walking into the locker door.
Adrien sighed and hurried up to his friend. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah-”
“Do you need glasses, Dupain-Cheng?” Damian Wayne asked snootily. “Maybe they’d help you see better in class and you could actually be a challenger for top spot–which I’d still win, of course.”
Marinette glared up at him. “You’re unabashedly rude. Even the most half-decent person would ask if someone was okay instead of belittling them.”
Damian’s lip curled and he took a step back before performing an elegant bow. “My most humble apologies, Lady. Are you grievously injured? Perhaps I should escort you to seek medical aid?”
Marinette’s cheeks burned. “If you’re just going to mock me, you can take your faux courtesy and stick it up-”
“Okay, Mari, maybe we should head to class before we’re late,” Adrien gently laid his hands on her shoulders and steered her towards the classroom.
Damian frowned at them and headed off in the opposite direction with a sniff.
~~~
“Damian.” Jon poked his friend’s shoulder.
Damian batted his hand away half-heartedly, staring ahead at…Jon squinted. From Damian’s point of view all he could see was the board, the teacher, and…ah. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
“Damian, you have to leave early for that interview, right?”
“Yes.”
“Sad to leave Mari behind?”
Damian turned to him. “Since when do you call her ‘Mari’?”
Jon stifled a smile. “Since I befriended her best friend and became her friend by association. Alya is really quite helpful– I even got Mari ’s number!”
Damian’s glare could have rivalled Jon’s laservision.
“Mr. Wayne!”
Damian frowned at Jon not getting called out but turned back to the teacher. “I have to leave early. I believe my father has already cleared it with the school.”
“Yes, yes, go on.” The teacher waved him away wearily and he grabbed his bag and headed down the aisle of desks.
His steps stuttered at the front, by Marinette’s desk, then resumed his usual long stride.
Heh. Stage 1 completed. Jon subtly air-fistbumped Alya.
~~~
“Dames, you’re staring again.”
“Stop calling me Dames,” Damian mumbled, not taking his eyes off the cheerful table across the cafeteria.
Marinette was in the centre, telling a story that made everyone around her laugh.
Jon heard a quiet growl escape his friend when he saw Adrien laugh so hard he collapsed into Mari.
“Bro, they’re just friends.”
Damian glared at him, then turned back to his Marinette-watching.
“Tt. I don’t care if they’re friends or not.”
“Suuure,” Jon rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone to text his new other bestie.
Jon: We should consider playing more on the jealousy angle
Alya: ?
Jon: Damian is fuming at Mari and A’s closeness
Alya added Adrien Agreste to the chat
Adrien: Hiiiii
Adrien: What’s this for
Alya: We’re setting up Mari and Damian
Adrien: :0
Alya changed the chat name to Daminette Matchmakers
Jon changed the chat name to DM
Alya: ?
Jon: Damian is a snoop, he might see the name sometime
Adrien: Good point, so is Mari
Adrien: Love the shipname btw
Alya: Thanks😌
“Who are you texting?” Damian asked, still not taking his eyes off Mari.
“My new friend, of course.”
Jon: @Adrien we’re thinking the jealousy angle is a good start. Damian does NOT like you touching Mari lol
Adrien: Oh I can do this no problem😈
Jon watched in fascination as Adrien shuffled closer to Mari, holding out his phone to either show her a meme or take a selfie, he couldn’t tell which.
Their cheeks squished together, both smiling brightly, and Jon observed Damian’s knuckles tightening around the seat, smirking to himself.
Jon: D’s getting pretty mad.
Jon: I bet two days max before he makes a move
Alya: I bet thirty-six hours
Jon: Bet?
Alya: Bet. Tell me one of your mom’s news ‘secrets’
Jon: Help me with another project like this sometime
Alya: Deal.
Jon: Jondrien
Alya: Adrijon
Alya: Let me make the shipnames loverboi
Jon deleted a message
Alya deleted a message
Adrien: Secrets?🥺
Alya: You’ll find out soon enough Sunshine
~~~
The next day, Damian and Jon were back in their usual spot, watching Marinette and her friend group as usual, who were seated at their usual table.
Unusually, Adrien was nowhere to be seen.
Jon’s super hearing picked up Adrien’s footsteps before he entered the caf, and he immediately looked at his friend to get a front-row seat to his reaction.
Damian’s features loosened in shock as Adrien walked in carrying a large bouquet of flowers, then tightened in anger as he made a beeline for Marinette.
She looked up from her conversation in surprise, a smile lighting up her face when Adrien handed them to her.
With a snarl, Damian stormed over to the table.
“Dupain-Cheng.”
She turned to him, raising an eyebrow at his appearance.
“You can’t go out with Agreste.”
“Why not?” she tilted her chin challengingly.
“Because Kent wants to go out with him. Go out with me instead.”
Jon rushed over as fast as he dared. “ What are you doing ?” he hissed at Damian.
Marinette sniffed. “You’re lucky I like Jon. Fine, I’ll date you instead of Adrien.” She turned to Adrien. “Good luck!”
Adrien gaped at her in betrayal, turning to Alya in bewilderment.
She smirked. “Mari ships Adrijon, what can I say?”