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It all felt a lot like muscle memory, some kind of strange second nature. Dallon had memorized every freckle and every blemish, every imperfection. From his hairline to his crooked teeth, Dallon knew Ryan’s face like it was his own. In some ways it was. When you spend every moment with another person the two of you kind of blend together, your heart beats synchronize and your body’s forget what it’s like to be alone.
But Dallon was alone.
All alone, pressed into the corner of the cell they were supposed to share. Separation was by far cruelest punishment tellexx had inflicted yet. He would have taken electrocution, vivisection, anything, over this. He wasn’t sure how long the punishment would last, likely until addy was bored with it. It didn’t matter though, be it three days or three months, Dallon was already feeling ill from it.
Dallon had spent much of his life before tellexx hauled up in the basement of his childhood home, an awful place he tended to visit in his nightmares. He couldn’t help but think of it as he counted the ceiling tiles and tried to not cry.
Dallon had never had a friend before Ryan, let alone a lover, let alone..whatever else Ryan was. A soulmate, an angel, a god? Something like that. Some kind of angelic thing he was created to adore. They were made for eachother, Dallon was sure of that. Be it by tellexx or by something more cosmic, Dallon loved him completely, obsessively.
Despite his best attempts the tears had started to fall. Drip. Drip. Drip. Down onto the padded floor. Dallon was not good at being alone, infact, he was very bad at it. When he was little he developed the habit of talking to himself, he’d make up friends from made up places, aliens and robots and things that didn’t have names. It was all easier before Ryan but now he supposed he had a taste for real love and his body wasn’t about to settle for the fake kind anymore.
After about two weeks Dallon was pretty sure he was losing his mind. He spent much of his time staring at the door like it was going to miraculously open and Ryan would come waltzing through with a scowl on his face, he’d hug Dallon and tell him he missed him and Dallon would melt. Dallon would turn into light and dissipate. Dallon would catch fire and they’d both be left dead on the cold floor of the cell.
“I missed you,” Dallon says out loud. He doesn’t mean to, he just does. He’s practicing. “I missed you so much.”
And then of course Ryan hugs him, tightly, so tightly it holds Dallon back together. “I missed you too, idiot” Ryan would probably say and then Dallon would giggle and then Ryan would kiss his cheek.
And then Dallon started to cry again, he glared at the door. How dare it remain closed. He pretended Ryan was sitting next to him, arms wrapped around him and head buried in dallon’s neck
“Don’t cry, Dal” he’d say softly. And then Dallon cried more.
Three weeks was definitely pushing things, even addy seemed a bit off put by the state of Dallon. He supposed he probably looked terrible. He had barely slept since Ryan had been gone and he had taken to scratching at his arms to calm his nerves. He felt like he was going to die, he didn’t know how else to phrase it. It was like how people say a symptom of a heart attack is an impending sense of dread, that’s how Dallon felt.
He was going through withdrawals, he supposed, and he was pretty sure it was killing him.
By week four Dallon was practically catatonic. He spent most of his time curled up in the far corner like a dog that had been abandoned on the highway, that’s what Addy wouldn’t stop comparing him to, anyway. He knew it was pathetic, he knew it. But self awareness never really helped anyone, did it?
On day 26 the door opened.
Ryan came stumbling in in all of his glory, faded blue hair and tear stained cheeks. Dallon started to sob. God, a weight had been lifted off his chest. God. God. God.
“Dal? Are you-“
Dallon tried to stand up but his legs were jello, he was shaking. Fuck.
Ryan rushed over to him, holy angelic eyes looking him over for some kind of injury, an explanation Dallon could not provide him with.
“Ryan” Dallon managed “Ryan”
Ryan pulled his shaking cellmate into his arms “are you ok? I missed you, god, I missed you”
Dallon clung to him, burying his face into Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan Ryan Ryan. Everything was ok again, Dallon practically collapsed against him. The relief was unmatchable, Dallon was home.