Chapter Text
Kim Dokja thought that there might be a problem with him as he eavesdropped on his co-workers who were talking about their sex lives.
It wasn't the first time kim dokja had thought that. In fact, he had been thinking about that since he entered adolescence. For some reason unknown to him, it seemed that a lot of his peers had been... a little too obsessed with getting laid.
He remembered a time when one of his classmates slung an arm around his shoulders and asked him if he watches porn, to which Kim Dokja denied.
"That's funny! Hey guys, our Dokja-ya is so innocent! What a virgin!"
If Kim Dokja wasn't already an outcast before, he sure will be after that. So Kim Dokja searched porn. He wasn't curious nor was he interested. He watched porn to hopefully lessen the bullying he's already facing. Kim Dokja did not enjoy even one second of watching porn.
Still, he tried. He even tried looking at questionable videos, but he still didn't enjoy it. Kim Dokja was left staring at his phone with a churning feeling in his gut, and never touched porn again.
That was the first time he thought there might be something wrong with him. And it's a thought that still passed his mind every day.
"Kim Dokja-ssi," a co-worker of his slurred, leaning heavily on him. Kim Dokja tried to subtly shift away from him. "I think you need to get laid."
"Excuse me?"
Kim Dokja felt insulted at that, and the ugly feeling was back again. Several eyes were trained on him at that.
"You... you don't have a girlfriend, don't you? So you must... must be really lonely..." his co-worker sighed and patted his back. "I know... I know a girl or two who you might be interested in... hehe."
Kim Dokja frowned, "There's no need for that. thank you for the concern."
"What? you're not interested?" his co-worker gasped. "That's not normal!"
Right.
Kim Dokja was never normal.
"I think I'll be heading home now," Kim Dokja announced and stood up, grabbing his belongings and walking away.
When Kim Dokja had exited the building, he felt the cold breeze of the night hit him and found that it's colder than usual. His gaze flitted down to his tightly clenched fists, inhaled and exhaled, then walked home.
When he got home, Kim Dokja immediately went to his bed, making himself comfortable and just read.
He read and read and read until he finished the webnovel he's reading, and clicked on another without any thought. And again, he read and read and read—
—then he stopped.
He reread the whole thing again, heart thumping against his chest loudly that he thought it'll explode.
For the first time in years, he felt seen.
Opening another tab, he searched for the newly found word, a term that he felt related to: Asexuality.
"Asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction to others, or a low interest in sexual activity, regardless of gender..." Kim Dokja whispered to himself, a giddy feeling bubbling inside him. He put a hand on his mouth, muffling a sob that accidentally came out of it.
There's nothing wrong with him.
He's as normal as other people; he's just a bit different, and that's okay.
That's okay.
Kim Dokja cried that night from immense joy.