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They had arrived home late, the paperwork to close the case having taken longer than anticipated.
Returning from a quick walk around the block with Rex, Charlie found Sarah seated on the couch, legs tucked under her, fingers toying with the throw blanket that lay across her lap. Her expression was vacant, unfocused.
Rex climbed up next to her, nosing at her knee until she scratched a hand over his snout, ruffled his fur.
Taking a seat on the other side of the couch, Charlie carefully kept some distance between them, somehow sensing that she needed the space.
“Hey,” he said softly. “You okay?”
Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, shook her head.
"You want to talk about it?” He knew the case had hit her hard.
Sarah let out a slow breath. “What Melanie said in the interrogation room…”
“About not reporting Blake’s assault?”
“Yeah.” She looked up at him, eyes tired. “Sometimes it’s…being a woman, doing what we do, it’s just…” She shook her head again. “I’m not…I’m not trying to empathize with a killer, Charlie. But there is a reason women don’t come forward, and we’re part of that and I can’t always…I guess I don’t always know how to reconcile that with myself.”
Charlie chose his words carefully. “I know it’s not something I can ever fully understand, but…I’m here to listen. If you want. I’m here for whatever you need.”
Sarah nodded. “Every woman, Charlie,” she continued. “Every one of us has experienced something like that on some level. Unwanted advances. Not taking no for an answer. Being made to feel unsafe.”
He understood what she wasn’t saying. “Including you.”
“Yes.” She sighed, hugged her knees to her chest protectively. “I…I think I told you once that I waitressed a bit during university.” Sarah swallowed hard. “And restaurant staff parties…well, let’s just say they can tend to get a bit wild. Drugs. Alcohol. And I was young, and I’d usually have a few drinks, then call it a night.”
Charlie stayed silent, his stomach dropping as he suspected where she was going with this.
“There was this guy, one of the cooks. He’d always flirted, didn’t get the message that I wasn’t interested. He’d push to hang out after work. Never seemed to accept it when I said no.” She angrily swiped at her eyes, realizing she’d teared up. “Anyway, there was a party one night, and I went with some girlfriends. And he was there too, and coming on pretty strong, as usual. He…somehow, I let my guard down, and I accepted a drink he brought me. And later I learned he’d slipped rohypnol into it.”
“Oh Sarah…” Charlie’s eyes were equal parts sympathy and rage.
“Thankfully my friends noticed I was acting strangely, and we left, but not before he tried to get me to go home with him. And I know full well what would have happened if they hadn’t intervened. So I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. Though it sure as hell didn’t feel like it at the time.” She sniffed. “I haven’t thought about that night in a long time. And before you ask, no, I didn’t report it. I know I should have…I wish I had.”
“I’m so sorry,” Charlie said. “And then when I asked Melanie why she didn’t report the assault…”
“Yeah. That brought it back up. Because there are so many reasons why women don’t report these things. We tell ourselves it was our fault, or we should have been more careful. Or it wasn’t that big a deal, or no one would believe us anyway.”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. I hate that that’s true. We need to be better.”
"Well, it um…it turned out I wasn’t the only one he tried something with. And he actually did get caught. Another girl fought back, and there was enough evidence to get a conviction. Last I heard he did some time.” She scoffed. “Not nearly enough, of course.”
“It never is.”
“No.” Sarah shook her head sadly. “It really isn’t.” She shifted closer to him, laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for letting me get that out. I’ve been holding onto it for a while.”
Charlie wrapped an arm around her, rested his chin against the top of her head. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”
“I know.” She took his hand, gave it a squeeze. “I appreciate it.”
“What do you need, right now? How can I help?”
“Can you just sit here and hold me for a while?”
“Always.” Charlie drew her closer. “For what it’s worth…I think your empathy, your compassion towards victims, is part of what makes you so good at your job.”
Sarah managed a smile as she turned to him. “Thanks.” Tilting her head upwards, she pecked his lips softly. “Actually, you know what else we need?”
“What’s that?” Charlie asked.
“Wine. Chocolate. Blankets. And a cheesy movie.”
Charlie let out a soft laugh. “I think we can make that happen.”