Chapter Text
“The blood coagulation here indicates that the victim’s arm was served postmortem.”
The eyes of Jane, Korsak, and Frost followed the latex-coated finger of Dr. Maura Isles, as she pointed to their most recent homicide victim’s right arm.
Or lack thereof.
A sickening, yet embarrassingly familiar feeling washed over Frost, churning his insides and turning his face green. Was it too much to ask to get through a single autopsy without the contents of his stomach threatening to spew over Maura’s pristine lab? Apparently not, Frost thought, gagging silently as he watched Jane push forward to study the jagged edges of the wound.
“So, the perp cut off the arm deliberately?” Jane asked, and Frost could already tell that Jane’s mind was racing with possibilities.
Maura shot Jane a stern expression, “I didn’t say that. All I can determine is that the victim’s right arm was removed after death. There is no way I can possibly test for the perpetrator’s intent, and I wouldn’t even dare hazard a guess.”
Despite the gruesome scene displayed on the stainless-steel table, Jane’s lips curved into a wide grin. She shot a glance over to Korsak and Frost, eliciting a small chuckle from the older man. The interaction was rather obvious to any onlooker, but Frost knew Maura would remain blissfully unaware, nonetheless.
“And I would never ask you to, babe,” Jane told Maura as she straightened her back, casting her full attention on the M.E.. Maura smiled, and Frost recognized that glint in Maura’s hazel eyes, the one that was only ever reserved for his partner.
“Can you two flirt off the clock? Preferably not in front of the dead guy? We got work to do.” Korsak directed the women’s attention back to the most pressing task.
“Of course,” Maura blushed, burying her head back into the open chest cavity, searching for forensic clues as if she were a greedy pirate with a treasure map.
Jane’s hand swung up to swat Korsak on the shoulder, “How do you think we got together in the first place?”
Eagerly, Maura’s head ducked up, “Because you realized you couldn’t live without me after you shot yourself during the siege on BPD.” Frost was taken aback at how clinical Maura sounded when she described the catalyst of her relationship, it was like Jane was a professor and had called on Maura to recite the answer from last night’s reading.
Jane just rolled her eyes, “It was a joke, Maur.”
“Oh.” Unphased, Maura returned to her work.
Korsak shook his head, but the small smile he was sporting was still visible to Frost. Jane and Maura’s relationship had that effect on their homicide unit. Frost was still so amazed at how two different women were somehow so perfectly made for one another.
A meaty finger pointed back to the wound, “Look at the flesh where the arm was severed. It’s all mangled. No way in hell that’s a clean cut.” Frost averted his eyes, the urge to throw up becoming overwhelming.
“Good call Korsak. I would bet that the arm was torn off.”
Maura shot up and then scoffed, clearly about to chastise Jane once again, but Jane beat her to the punch.
She held up a hand at Maura, physically stopping her girlfriend’s protests, “I didn’t say I would guess, I said I would bet.” Maura contemplated Jane’s words carefully until Korsak began to theorize aloud.
“We found the body dumped by UMass’s campus, how could’ve the arm been torn in the process?”
A blaze ignited within coffee-colored eyes as Jane chewed on that information, “Well Maura estimated the victim died around 16 hours ago and was dumped shortly after. The body was out there all night.
Korsak nodded, clearly following Jane’s logic. Frost was not. Sometimes being a transplant to Boston could really hinder his work.
“There have been some recent sightings on Columbia Point again,” Korsak said.
“Could explain the jagged flesh,” Jane stated, and Korsak nodded again, reaffirming their unspoken theory.
Finally, Frost spoke up, “Ok, I’m lost, sightings of what exactly?” Jane and Korsak turned to Frost, both now only realizing that he hadn’t been following along without the proper context.
“Coyotes,” Korsak explained, “Used to terrorize the hell out of Southie back in the day.”
“Maura,” Jane prompted the M.E. who was now weighing an indeterminate organ. Its glistening sheen caused Frost to divert his eyes before he could identify which exact body part Maura was holding. Maura whipped around at Jane’s call.
“Could a coyote cause this type of damage?” Once again, a finger pointed to the gaping wound, and Frost's eye’s connected with the torn angry red flesh that more closely resembled ground beef than an arm. That was the final straw. He couldn’t contain the feeling this time. The involuntary gag that ripped through Frost’s throat was clearly audible. It bounced off the shining silver tables and the reflective glass.
“Sink!” The other three yelled simultaneously. Frost barely made it before his stomach emptied in the wash basin. He couldn’t hear much other than the sickening splashing and the harsh laughter of Vince Korsak.
“I have some ginger ale in the fridge, Detective Frost, if you so desire it,” he eventually heard Maura say when the last wave of nausea dissipated from his body.
“Thanks, Doc,” was all he managed as a response, still gripping the sides of the sink to steady himself.
“Nice to know some things will never change,” Jane teased.
Korsak was still laughing, “Yup, an autopsy can’t be complete without you and Maura flirting and Frost losin’ his lunch.”
Frost ignored the comments and moved to loosen his tie. It was starting to restrict his airflow. After fumbling with it, he decided it was best to just remove it entirely, setting it by the sink. He wordlessly turned on the water, both to clean the sink and to drown out the mockery of his colleagues.
It was at that moment, the doors that connected the autopsy lab to the rest of BPD swung open rather unceremoniously.
“Dammit, did I miss Frost getting’ sick again?” Frankie Rizzoli’s Boston-bred voice boomed throughout the autopsy room.
Jane nodded with a smirk as she greeted her brother, “Hey Frankie.”
“Got some news for yah, the family check came back on your guy. Turns out, he has a fiancée, Amy Gordon. She goes by a different last name professionally, which is why it took us longer to find her.” All three homicide detectives focused their attention on Frankie as he recited critical information for their case, “And get this,” Frankie added, “They were supposed to be married next week.”
The faces of the small audience fell, and a now somber tone drifted through the morgue.
“What a shame,” Korsak muttered, loud enough that even Frost could hear it from his position at the sink. Jane remained silent, and if Frost had blinked in that exact moment, he would have missed the utterly pleading and heartbroken glance Jane cast at Maura. Frost watched, unable to tear his eyes away, as Jane closed her eyes, sucked in a breath, and repaired her emotional walls. She transformed from Detective Rizzoli, the fierce protector of Boston to Jane, the protector of Maura, back to detective in a matter of seconds. His partner’s ability to compartmentalize was admiral, or unhealthy. In reality, it was probably somewhere in the middle.
“Alright, we definitely need to bring her in,” Jane said to the room, eyes finding both Korsak and Frost.
“Already did,” Frankie handed Jane the file in his hand, “She’s in conference room two.”
Jane walked up and clasped her brother on the arm, “Good job Frankie,” then she turned to address the other two men, “Let’s get up there and see what we can find out.”
Frost nodded and pushed himself away from the sink, aware that his legs still might be a little shaky. Once he gained his footing, he moved to follow Jane through the glass doors back to their domain.
Jane, however, took a small detour, crossing back to Maura, who was currently standing at attention beside the victim, customary scalpel still gripped in her hand. Afraid of potential contamination, Jane stopped about a foot away from Maura, but leaned in to capture the M.E.’s lips in a quick kiss, “Call me if you find anything, ok?”
Frost couldn’t see Jane’s eyes, but he could assume they matched the intensity that blazed in Maura’s, “of course. Go do what you do best.” Jane risked another peck on her girlfriend's lips before spinning on her heels and barreling through the doors. The three men still standing in the autopsy bay were left with no other option than to follow her blistering and determined pace.
He was almost to the elevator when Frost realized he had left his tie by the sink. With an inward groan, he turned to retrace his steps.
“You guys go on ahead, I forgot something. I’ll meet you upstairs.” Korsak offered him nothing but a shrug of his shoulders, while Jane acknowledged him with an indifferent wave. Frost found himself back in the morgue quickly, but to his surprise, he found himself alone. Mere moments ago, Maura was elbows deep in the cadaver still laying in the center of the room, but now she was nowhere to be seen. Guess it’s just you and me buddy, Frost’s brain supplied him a bit of humor to reconcile with the fact that he was currently alone with the dead guy.
Frost returned his focus to his mission and swiftly located his tie, draped over the sink exactly where he left it. He wasted no time grabbing it and securing it back around his neck. He was almost, blissfully, out the door when he heard it.
It was faint, but it was unmistakable. A soft whimpering sob from the direction of Maura’s office. Suddenly the woman in conference room two wasn’t his priority anymore. The woman currently crying in the M.E.’s office had gripped his full attention.
Frost walked over to the door, which was left slightly ajar, and softly tapped his knuckles against the hardwood door. The sound this action emitted was soft, but it was enough to make the office’s occupant jolt up in surprise. Frost pushed the door slightly open to peer inside, and the sight before him shattered his heart.
There, sitting at her desk, was Doctor Maura Isles, with tear-stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes, visible under the harsh florescent lighting. It didn’t take a highly trained detective to deduce what Maura had been doing before Frost interrupted her.
The moment Maura’s hazel eyes connected with Frost’s, tangible panic burst through her features. She stood up in a quick motion, pushing her swivel chair behind her with force.
“Detective Frost, is there something I can help you with?” Maura’s demeanor was nothing but professional even as she wiped a stray tear away with the back of her pointer finger, delicately pressing at her lash line. Frost recognized this motion as one his mother did when dealing with her own tears in an attempt to preserve her makeup.
Maura was quick to offer an explanation in her typical fashion, “I’m sorry I seem to have a foreign obstruction in my tear duct. I was trying to extract it before it caused further infection, I didn’t want to develop into Blepharitis, which can inflame the eyelid.”
As scientifically accurate as her words were, Frost saw right through transparent defensives. He would have found Maura’s ability to compose herself impressive if he wasn’t so concerned for her.
He took a tentative step into her office, unsure if his presence would be helpful, or even wanted. “I realized I forgot my tie and came back for it.” Frost held up his tie as if he needed to provide the evidence to Maura. “I heard some noises,” he chose his words carefully, “and wanted to check to see if everything was ok.”
Maura nodded as if she couldn’t trust herself to do anything more.
Frost braved another step into the office as he took a risk, “is everything ok?” He tried to sound as comforting as he could. Even though Maura had been his partner’s girlfriend for over two years now, the two had limited one-on-one interactions. He didn’t want to overstep his bounds.
Their eyes connected again, and Frost’s heart panged when he saw the deep sadness etched into Maura’s expression. Maura’s eyes welled with tears as she shook her head, and Frost was completely at a loss for words. There were very few moments in Frost’s career where he felt paralyzed, unable to act. Quick and rational decision-making was necessary in his line of work. But seeing Maura, the confident, radiant, intelligent, medical examiner, utterly split open and vulnerable before him left the seasoned detective at a loss. He had no idea what to do. But he did know what not to do. He certainly wasn’t going to leave Dr. Isles, raw and small, behind her desk, until he could verify himself that she was ok. And with that decision, Frost’s feet carried him to the other side of the room, stepping behind Maura’s desk so that they were only a few feet apart.
Gently, as if he was trying not to startle a timid animal, Frost reached his hand out and placed it in Maura’s arm. Once he knew the contact was not unwelcome, Frost coaxed Maura to step around the side of her desk, leading her across the room and depositing her on the couch. Without another thought, Frost sat beside her, not so close that he was crowding her, but close enough that he hoped his presence offered Maura some comfort. He didn’t want her to feel as if she was going through this alone, whatever this was.
He let a beat of silence pass before he finally asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Maura let out another sob, her face quickly retreated into her hands.
“I can’t,” Frost barely heard Maura mutter, her words blocked by her hands.
Frost only responded by replacing his palm on her shoulder, stroking it back and forth in a soothing gesture. He really hoped his attempts at reassurance were not crossing a line.
Maura then sat up and placed her hands on her lap. She was trying to compose herself once more, demonstrate to Frost, and maybe herself, that she was strong. Frost shook his head, he didn’t need convincing, Maura was already one of the strongest people he knew, and this incident wouldn’t change his assessment of her.
She took in a shuddering breath, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude Detective Frost.”
Frost was quick to correct her, “You’re not being rude Doct-“
Maura held up a hand, halting Frost’s words.
“What I mean is, I don’t want to place you in an unfair position.”
Frost’s brows furrowed at Maura’s words as he puzzled through their meaning. Unfair position, Maura said, how would Maura put Frost in something like that?
Then he realized.
She meant the position between Maura and his partner. Maura was crying because of Jane.
Jane might be Frost’s partner, someone he trusted inherently, one of his closest friends, but he would put his fist through her nose if he found out he hurt Maura in any way. Startled by his own protectiveness of Maura, he turned to her, hoping, needing, to ascertain more information.
“If Jane did something to hurt you, I promise-“
Another raise of Maura’s hand cut off the detective. It was faint, but Frost saw a small smile grace Maura’s lips.
“While I appreciate your defensiveness of me, Detective Frost, I assure you Jane did nothing untoward to me.”
Frost blinked then nodded, “but this still has something to do with Jane, right?” Frost knew he was pushing, but he wanted to understand what had made the M.E. so upset.
Maura sighed and clasped her hands in her lap, “Yes, it does.” Her voice was soft, devoid of its usual confidence.
Frost had never been so grateful for Maura’s inability to lie. He took another risk. Leaning forward, Frost clasped a hand over Maura’s joined fingers, demonstrating to Maura that he was here for her, willing to offer her support in any way she needed it. Even if that meant placing himself between his partner and his girlfriend. He hoped to God Jane never learned about this.
“Please let me apologize, Detective Frost,” Maura choked through a sob, emotion once again clouding her words. “My behavior has been wildly unprofessional.” She refused to meet Frost’s eyes, but he gave her hands a reassuring squeeze, prompting Maura to look at his melancholy smile.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about being professional right now, ok? What you need is a friend.”
Maura tucked her chin to her chest and sniffed, “Oh, I understand. I guess I can call Angela, but I don’t feel entirely comfortable speaking to her ab-“
Red flushed across Frost’s cheeks, “No, I meant me. I’m the friend.” He pointed at his chest to make sure the sentiment was clear. Jane was right, Maura was adorable when she was being rigidly literal.
Maura blushed then said, “Sorry, I misunderstood.” Maura mirrored Frost’s gentle smile, moving her fingers to brush stray tears from her eyes. She shook her head as if she was chastising her own behavior. “I need to compose myself. This is all rather petty.”
“Hey, this isn’t petty if it’s upsetting you this much.” Frost met Maura’s gaze, sympathy overflowing from his features. Frost had first-hand experience when it came to workplace relationships. He and Anna, being employees of the same police force, shared many friends and confidants. It was almost impossible to find someone who was willing to listen to his problems without the threat of one of their friends taking a side. They would fight, and by association, their friends and colleagues would divide themselves among the two police officers, leaving Frost feeling nothing but isolated. In the end, their inability to communicate and its effect on the squad had led to their breakup. Frost would do everything in his power to ensure history did not repeat itself. Jane and Maura were too perfect together.
Therefore, Frost wanted nothing more than to provide Maura the sounding board she desperately needed, without fear of larger professional and personal repercussions. He tried one more time, trying to convince Maura that he could trust him, that he was an ally, a friend.
“How could you be petty Dr. Isles?” Frost watched as Maura’s lips ghosted with a smile, in spite of her distress.
Maura sucked in a calming breath, “I’m overreacting, but it’s just-“ She paused, searching desperately for the right words, “I’m frustrated that Jane isn’t willing to commit.”
Frost was stunned by Maura’s confessions, and the expression on his face indicated that. Intimately familiar with Jane’s harsh exterior and propensity to insult-based coping mechanisms, Frost was sure that Jane had upset Maura in some way. The last thing he was expecting was Maura to be questioning Jane’s desire to be with her. Even Frost could see how devoted Jane was to the M.E. For the last two and a half years, hell for as long as the two women have known each other, Maura has occupied the center of Jane’s universe.
Frost needed more information, “What do you mean Jane isn’t willing to commit? You two have been together for so long.”
Through another restricted sniffle, Maura clarified, “Yes, but she seems tentative to take the next step.”
Now Frost was beginning to understand better, “Like marriage?”
Maura’s lips upturned into a somber smile, “Yes like marriage.” She stared down at the hands clasped in her lap, unwilling to look at Frost, “We’ve talked about spending the rest of our lives together, yet she has yet to propose to me.” There was a moment of silence before Maura added, “And I fear she never will.”
Maura’s last words broke what was left of Frost’s heart. “Doc-“ he started to say, unsure of where he was exactly going, but Maura continued.
“And it’s not because I want the expensive Vera Wang dress, or the illustrious reception in the Omni Parker House, though I have always fantasized about the perfect wedding.” Maura bit her lip, daring to bear her soul to her girlfriend’s partner, “I just want to be Jane’s wife. But what if she doesn’t want to be mine?”
Maura’s eyes lifted to catch Frost’s then, and he immediately recognized the reflective pricks of tears threatening to stream down her cheeks again. He placed his hand on her arm again.
“Doc, you know Jane feels the same,” Frost remembered the tender way Jane had looked at Maura when Frankie mentioned the vic was engaged. He saw the longing mixed with fear clear in Jane’s expression.
“Does she?” Maura snapped, rather unsarcastically. Anger suddenly ripped through her body, “because she has had ample opportunity to propose. Just last weekend, she surprised me with tickets to the Boston Symphony and a decadent meal. She dressed up for me, she wore a tailored pantsuit. She looked utterly stunning Detective Frost, all for me.” Frost watched in silence as Maura became more passionate recounting her date night, Maura’s words equally frustrated and confident. “After the concert, she took my hand and led me down to the reflective pool, by Symphony Hall, and told me how much she loved me, how much I meant to her, how much I brought out the best in her. I thought she was going to do it. I really thought she was going to get down on one knee…” Maura trailed off, bitter rage dissipating from her body, leaving only the melancholy. “Clearly I was mistaken.”
Frost responded with the only words he could find in this moment, “I’m sorry.”
Maura let out an icy chuckle, one completely devoid of mirth, “Don’t be. I warned you it was petty.”
Frost rarely disagreed with Maura’s assessments, almost always differing to her judgment, but this time, he found her to be wrong.
“You’re not being petty, Doc,” and Frost meant those words with every fiber of his being. While Maura had never confided in Frost before, he had picked up, from his own observations and passing comments from Jane that, despite Maura’s hardened poise and natural intelligent grace, at her core Maura was insecure. Deeply afraid of rejection, anxiety no doubt connected to her adoption and her dejected, cold upbringing, Maura was terrified at the thought of losing Jane. Her feelings weren’t petty at all.
Maura’s shoulders shrugged, “She’s my person, Detective Frost. I don’t want to be in a situation where I run out of time before I can prove that to the world. Prove that to Jane.”
Ah, and there was the root of the issue, the catalyst to Maura’s emotional breakdown. The case, the victim, had pushed these thoughts and doubts into Maura’s head. Nothing like a young victim to remind you of your own mortality, of your own internal clock, that one unlucky day, you too, can end up on the M.E.’s sterile slab, bare and sliced open. Out of chances and out of time.
Maura drew in another labored breath, this one sounding more grounding than the others. She squeezed Frost’s hand. “Thank you very much for listening to me Detective. I was hesitant to say anything due to your relationship with Jane.”
Frost shook his head, “Like I said Maura, we’re friends too. I don’t want you to think that just because I’m Jane’s partner, I’m always going to take her side. If anything, I know exactly how Jane can be.” He gave Maura’s hand another soft squeeze. Maura’s smile widened, color returning to her pale features.
At a loss at what else to say, Frost removed his hand from hers and asked her, “Are you doing ok now?”
“Yes, thank you.” Maura stood from the couch then straightened the non-existent wrinkles in her skirt.
“I can stay longer if you’re not.”
Maura beamed at the care Frost was giving her, “Really, I’m alright. I think I just needed to get that out of my system. I shouldn’t keep you from your duties any longer.”
Frost gave Maura a pat on her shoulder as a way of goodbye. He was halfway through her office when he heard Maura’s emotion-laden voice, haunting his exit.
“And Detective Frost, your discretion on this matter would be most appreciated.” Pleading hazel eyes, raw and red from crying, broke Frost’s heart. All he could do was nod, before pivoting on his heels in a quick exit out of the lab and to the elevators.
He couldn’t give Maura his verbal word because he didn’t plan on keeping it. He was going to find the root of Jane’s commitment issues, even if it killed him. And if Jane found out about what he just bore witness to, she just might.