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“5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Eddie yelled along with everyone else that had gathered in Athena and Bobby’s backyard. It had been Bobby’s idea to host this year’s New Years’ party. Mainly because out of all of the extended 118 family, the only people who had homes big enough were them; and Hen and Karen. And Hen had hosted last year, so he’d said that it was only fair.
He felt someone grab his wrist and pull him aside. Not that it took much effort for them to do so, Eddie was about ten whiskeys and half a dozen bottles of beer in. Oh and a couple of tequila shots during a drinking game that Buck had insisted was a “great idea”. Spoiler, it was not. It was a terrible game where Buck, Chimney, Karen, Hen and Maddie had ganged up on him, trying to get him to spill secrets that no one needed to know. Like the weirdest place he’d had sex, or the person he had a crush on at that moment. Apparently, his answer of Jennifer Lopez wasn’t acceptable, hence the shots, but he wasn’t about to tell them his real answer. Not tonight, while he was drunk. Probably not ever. Because telling them was too fucking scary for words, especially since the person in question probably didn’t feel the same way. And it was a stupid crush, it’d go away after a while.
“Happy New Year!” Buck grinned as he spun Eddie around by the waist with his free hand so they were standing face to face, just inches apart from each other, then leaned in and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips. OK, he’d never done that before, even when he was drunk. They usually just said goodnight, then passed out, one on the couch, one in the bed. Or, one time, sharing the bed, because Buck had spilled beer on the cushions, and even in a drunken state, Eddie insisted on cleaning them right away, and Buck couldn’t really sleep on a wet couch.
Buck pulled away after a few seconds, confusedly studying Eddie’s shocked face. “You OK?” He asked, as if that hadn’t just happened. Eddie gulped down the lump in his throat and nodded.
“Yeah, I’m good.” He lied. He wasn’t good. First of all, Buck had kissed him. Second of all, their first kiss had been drunken and sloppy and not the way he’d imagined it at all. Not that he imagined it a lot, just a regular amount. Late at night in the firehouse when everyone else was asleep, and it felt like it was just them, alone in that huge building. Or curled up together watching a movie after Christopher had gone to bed, spilling his feelings out to the man, only for him to say he felt the same way. Or on one of their family trips to the zoo, holding Buck’s hand as Christopher bounded ahead, then turning to kiss him on the cheek. OK, so he’d thought about it a lot. And this wasn’t one of those scenarios.
“I’d better get going soon.” He yelled. “Before I can’t get an Uber back.”
Buck shook his head. “You’re never gonna get one. Or if you do it’ll be really expensive. Stay here.” He suggested. “Chris is asleep with Harry and Denny anyway, I’m staying in May’s old room, there’s plenty of room in that bed for two of us.” Eddie blinked twice. What the Hell had happened when the clock struck midnight? Had he made a wish that he couldn’t remember and now the Gods were giving it to him on a plate? Because Evan Buckley, the man he had been pining over for, let’s face it, years, had kissed him and was now inviting him to share a bed.
Eddie started to shake his head. This was a bad idea. Alcohol was involved. Too much alcohol, especially on Buck’s part, because he was sure that the man had drunk a lot more than Eddie had. And Eddie was pretty drunk. There was no way he was about to ruin their friendship. Because if, if he let that man take him to bed, he probably couldn’t be held responsible for his actions. And those actions would involve at least some version of kissing, touching, rubbing or sex. Or a combination of some or all the above.
“Come on, it’s not like we haven’t shared before. And I promise I’ll be good.” That was kind of the point, Eddie didn’t want him to be good. But he wasn’t about to say that. “Back to back, pillow between us. I won’t end up like we did last time.” Last time, he’d almost forgotten about that. He’d woken up with Buck wrapped around him, arm draped over his chest, leg slotted between his, boner digging into the small of his back... “Please?”
“Fine.” Eddie sighed. All his resolve seemed to have disappeared when the tequila was brought out. And speaking of tequila, he was handed a shot glass by Maddie, who winked at him and told him to down it. The burning of the alcohol made its way down his throat, and he screwed up his face, much to Buck’s amusement.
“Anyone ever told you two that you make a cute couple?” She slurred, and it was then that Eddie noticed that, although Buck had moved his hand from Eddie’s waist, and he’d moved his other hand from his wrist, he’d snuck it into Eddie’s hand, their fingers intertwined in a totally non-platonic gesture. Especially after...
“Ha ha, sis, very funny.” Buck stuck his tongue out at his sister, who just giggled and wandered back towards the house. “But she’s right, we are pretty cute together.”
“Yeah, we are.” Eddie agreed. “Shame it’d never work.” He tried to keep his voice even as he shrugged. “What, with you being straight and everything...” And that was the crux of it. For all his pining, for all his fantasizing about what it’d be like to kiss him, to hold him, to make love to him, the truth was that Buck was never going to feel the same way, because he didn’t like men in that way. Eddie half expected him to let go of his hand, but he was completely unprepared for what happened next.
“Come with me.” Buck ordered, dragging him into the house, past the kitchen where Maddie, Athena, Hen and Karen were gossiping about something. He could swear that as soon as they saw them, they stopped mid-conversation and stared. But he couldn’t slow down, Buck was like a man on a mission as he approached the door to the spare room, opened it and pulled Eddie inside. Quietly closing the door behind him, he ordered Eddie to sit on the bed, which he did.
“Eds, why would you think I was straight?” Buck asked as soon as he sat down beside Eddie.
“I, um, I’ve just never...you’ve always dated women?” He tried to state, but it came out more like a question.
“And so have you.” Buck countered, and Eddie sighed. He was right, of course. Eddie had come out as bi a few months ago, but he’d never even kissed a man before, let alone do anything else. He had an existential crisis about it, until Frank pointed out that one of the fundamentals of being bisexual was simply being attracted to members of both the same, and other genders. You were still straight even if you hadn’t kissed or slept with anyone, why should being bi be any different?
“I guess I have.” He shrugged. “So, what are you saying? That you’re not straight?”
“No, I’m not. I’m pansexual. And I know we’ve probably had far too much to drink tonight, and this is why I’m only going to do this.” He cupped Eddie’s cheek with the hand he wasn’t using to prop himself up and stroked it with his thumb before leaning in and planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “You are my best friend, the one person I can trust with anything in this world, and I know you feel the same. And I love you, so, so much. I think I loved you the minute I met you, and I will love you until my heart stops beating. Again.” Eddie let out a small, shaky giggle, then realized he’d started crying. Without missing a beat, Buck wiped the tear away and leaned in so that their foreheads were touching.
“I love you too.” Eddie managed to whisper, placing his hand on Buck’s cheek, mirroring his movements. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, I just...” He trailed off. Buck just nodded. He knew the end of that sentence; it didn’t need to be said out loud.
“I know.” He whispered. “I know. Now do we want to go back out there and face the gossip, or do we stay here and cause more? Because you know they’ll think we’re, you know...” Eddie snorted, and moved his hand away. Pushing himself off the bed, he held out his hand to help Buck up, and then led him out of the room, past the kitchen, where the women were still standing, well, all but Karen, who was nowhere to be seen. He wouldn’t be surprised if she’d been listening at the door, and had dived into the bathroom opposite as soon as they’d moved.
The two of them spent the next couple of hours together on the couch, just sitting watching crappy TV in a comfortable silence while everyone else around them chatted amongst themselves. No one dared to disturb them apart from to say goodnight as they left, and eventually it was just Bobby and Athena left, who wished them goodnight as they headed towards their own room, Bobby smiling fondly at them as he did.
Eddie woke the next morning with a pounding headache, dry mouth and an arm draped over his chest. So much for promising to stay apart, he thought as he moved closer to the man behind him, who sleepily pulled him in as tightly as he could.
“Hey.” Buck murmured. “Happy New Year, again.”
“You too.” Eddie whispered back. “I’ve a feeling it’s going to be a good one.”