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It all happened quickly. Too quickly.
One minute the eight of them were having a nice vacation, the next Jisung didn’t even know where he was.
He remembers waking up that morning with a tiny foot shoved in his face, and wishing he would never wake up any other way again. He remembers the way Minho smiled at him as Jeongin clung to him that morning at breakfast, not wanting to sit on anyone else’s lap to allow Jisung to grab his own plate. He remembers standing in the pool, bouncing Jeongin’s little legs in the water to hear him giggle. He remembers feeling so disconnected from their everyday lives and wishing this trip would never have to end.
He remembers distinctly, now, the way Minho kissed their foreheads and left to go grab them ice cream. He remembers the first scream, the way Jeongin clung to him, the way everyone started running from the pool. He remembers running and running and running as fast as he could, to find some semblance of safety, Jeongin held tightly in his arms, while he muttered little reassurances to the boy - it’ll be okay baby, it’ll all be okay.
He’s sitting on top of a car with Jeongin in his lap when he remembers that Minho can’t swim. He, of course, always has known this, but it really hits him like a truck when he tucks Jeongin’s face in his chest to shield his eyes from the floating body that passes them.
“Are you okay Innie?” He asks when the body is out of sight, “Are you hurt anywhere?”
The young boy shakes his head and wraps his arms around Jisung’s neck, “Where Appa?”
How do you answer that question? How do you tell a three-year-old that you have no idea where his father is because a tsunami just struck their resort? How do you tell a three-year-old that you’re just as terrified as they are?
“He went to get us ice cream, remember? We gotta find him now, huh? He might’ve gotten a little lost.”
“‘Member when we go to U’cle Channie’s new house an’-an’ you telled him you know how to go there but he not listen? An’-an’-an’ we late?”
“Yeah, it’s just like that, baby. He’s stubborn. But we’ll find him, yeah?”
“Yeah! Cause Jiji is so smart!”
Jisung just held him tighter. He wishes he were half as smart as Jeongin thinks he is.
“Jiji?” Jeongin asked quietly. He sounded almost sheepish] like he was about to tell Jisung he had done something he wasn’t supposed to do.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Innie li’l scared.”
Jisung wanted to cry. Jeongin was such a smart and brave kid, he could do just about anything he set his mind to. He’s pretty sure he understands, at least a little bit, that there is something really wrong here; that this is no longer the nice family vacation it was meant to be despite his young age.
“It’s okay to be scared, Jeonginnie. Jiji is a little scared too. But we have each other. And Jiji and Innie can do anything together, right?”
Jisung pulled the younger from his lap and sat him down in front of him, “Now, let me look you over, baby. Do you have any ouchies?” He looked over the boy, head to toe, but other than being a little bit dirty, he seemed okay.
“Leg.”
Jisung zeroed in on the boy's legs, “Your leg hurts, baby? Show Jiji where.” He grabbed Jeongin's ankle delicately and started searching for some type of injury.
“No. Jiji’s leg.” He pushed Jisung’s hands away from him and pointed at Jisung's left leg. It was bleeding pretty heavily. Jisung hadn’t even noticed it.
“Oh.” He said. It was slightly worrisome that he couldn’t feel it, but Jisung just assumed it was the adrenaline and the worry about Jeongin’s health over his own. He wasn’t all that confident in knowing what to do - he was just some dumb kid, fresh out of college. Minho was the one who could tell him what to do. Minho knew everything. But, he knew he needed to put pressure on it and wrap it up, lest he continue to bleed out.
“Um, okay, let me,” he looked around for something he could use to tie around his calf, but they were sitting on top of a car, and he wasn’t going to find a fucking first aid kit just lying around. “Fuck, okay,” he took his shirt off and tore the bottom hemline off. “This’ll have to do, I guess.”
He tied the shirt around his leg as tightly as he could, in hopes he could get the bleeding to stop, then looked over to Jeongin. “Here buddy, are you cold?” Jisung slid his damp shirt over Jeongin’s tiny body, in hopes that it might provide the shirtless three-year-old with a little more protection from the elements.
Speaking of the elements, Jisung noticed how the car was beginning to get hot from the afternoon sun. “Shit, Jeongin, c’mere buddy. Wanna sit on Jiji’s lap?” He pulled the young boy up to sit on his legs so he wouldn’t get burnt and wrapped his arms around him, his back to the sun so Jeongin was sitting in as much shade as his shoulders could provide. He needed to get them out of here. He had no idea what he was doing alone.
“Jiji?”
“Yeah?”
“You owe the swear jar a lots of quarters.”
Jisung let a laugh bubble out from his chest, “I do, don’t I?”
-
“Hyung! Shit, fuck I’m so sorry, excuse me - Hyung!”
Chan turned around to see Hyunjin running towards him with Changbin and Seungmin in tow.
“Hyune! I’m so glad you’re okay!” Chan said as he pulled Hyunjin into a tight hug. “Are you guys injured anywhere?”
“No,” Changbin said. “We were up in our room. Minnie wasn’t feeling well so we were safe from the worst of it. We honestly thought it was an earthquake at first.” Chan looked over at Seungmin, who had his arms wrapped around Changbin’s neck.
“Hey buddy, how’re you feeling?” Chan asked, rubbing a hand over Seungmin’s back. The young boy just turned his head to hide in Changbin’s neck.
“How’re you and Felix?” Hyunjin asked, crouching down to Felix, who was holding onto Chan’s leg.
“We’re both okay as well. Lixie was hungry so we went to a restaurant. Search and Rescue was there pretty quick,” Chan said. He looked down to see Hyunjin running his fingers through Felix’s damp hair.
“Where are Minho and Jeongin,” Hyunjin asked as he stood up.
“And Jisung,” Changbin added.
“I still don’t know. I tried calling both of them, but neither would pick up.”
“Fuck. They were at the pool the last time I saw them.” Changbin said, running a hand through his hair.
“Unc’e Min? Where?” Felix asked tugging on Chan’s shirt.
Chan bent down to pull the blond boy into a hug, “We’ll find them, Buddy, don’t worry. Why don’t you stay here with Uncle Binnie and Uncle Jinnie so Daddy can go talk to the nice man over there?”
“No! Stay with Daddy!” Felix yelled.
“I can go. Seungmin will be fine with Changbin for a minute-” Hyunjin was cut off by a whine and a tiny hand reaching out to him.
“Eomma,” Seungmin whined.
Hyunjin kissed Seungmin’s hand and caressed his cheek. “Stay with Appa, I’ll be just riiight over there,” he pointed over to the man standing with a walkie-talkie and an iPad a few meters away. “You’ll be able to see me the whole time.”
“P’omise?”
“Pinky promise!” Hyunjin smiled as he linked his pinky with his son’s and then kissed his forehead. “I’ll be right back guys.”
Hyunjin walked over to the man and shook his nerves from his body. He needed his friends to be okay.
“Excuse me, is there any way you can help me find my friends?”
“Oh, hello, Sir. I can check to see if they have been checked into any of the Search and Rescue logs, but that’s really the only thing I can do right now.”
“That will be a tremendous help, thank you. Their names are Lee Minho, his son Lee Jeongin, and Han Jisung.”
“Hmm,” The man skimmed his finger down the iPad screen looking for their names. “You said, ‘Lee’?” The man asked.
“Yes, Lee Minho. And he has a son, Jeongin.”
“I have one ‘Lee Minho’ here. But it’s showing that his entire party has been found. Uhm, wife ‘Lee Iseul’?”
“Oh. No. His name is quite common, I suppose.” Hyunjin sighed, defeated.
“I also don’t have any ‘Han’s’ either. If you give me your name and phone number, we can contact you with any updates regarding their rescue or.. Well, regarding their rescue, Sir.”
Hyunjin gave the man his name and phone number and walked back to the group. Upon his return, Seungmin leaned over to him. Hyunjin took the boy from Changbin’s arms and pulled him into his chest, hugging him tight.
“Nothing. A ‘Lee Minho’ but not our Lee Minho, and no ‘Han’s.” Hyunjin said quietly.
“Fuck.” Changbin swore under his breath. “We’ll find them. Don’t worry.”
-
The sun was lowering in the sky, and Jisung’s hope of getting rescued was starting to wane along with it, but he couldn’t let that show. He had to stay strong for Jeongin.
He looked down at the water surrounding them. It would be thigh-deep on him if he were to try to walk through it, and he thought that that would be their best bet at this point. They were kind of hidden away down a side street, and he needed to find other people. He knew Jeongin had to be as cold and hungry as he was, and he was feeling defeated.
He decided he needed to do something other than sit around and wait. He could do this.
“Hey buddy,” Jisung looked down at Jeongin in his lap and saw that the child was asleep. “Shit. Okay. This is fine. I can make this work.” He hopped off of the car and stood for a moment in the water to gauge the current, it wasn’t overly strong, and he was pretty sure he could walk through it.
Jisung maneuvered Jeongin into his hold, keeping him above the water, and started walking slowly.
“Jiji,” Jeongin mumbled, “Where goin’?”
“We’re gonna go on an adventure. You can sleep if you’re tired, Innie.” He said, running a hand over his back. It was the same way he’d rub his back when taking him to bed at home. In Minho’s warm, dry house, after a nice dinner filled with Jeongin’s laughter and Minho’s delicious cooking.
“M’kay. Innie s’eepy.”
Jisung just kept rubbing his back and waded out of the ally they were in. He was looking for any signs of people, but was met with nothing. He didn’t recognize the area but wasn’t going to let that stop him. He’d just keep walking. For Jeongin.
-
When Jisung finally found a Search and Rescue team, it was just past sunset. It was beginning to get dark and Jisung was thanking every celestial being out there that he wasn’t going to have to keep his baby out in this mess overnight. No, not his baby. Minho’s baby. He didn’t deserve to call Jeongin his baby. He couldn’t do anything to protect him. He was helpless and naive, he could never be what Jeongin needed.
“Sir, what’s your name? Are you injured?” A man in a life raft asked him as he handed him a sleeping Jeongin.
“Han Ji-”
Jeongin interrupted them, “Jiji! No!”
“It’s alright Innie, I’m coming too. I just need both my arms to climb in, okay?” He hoisted himself up, with some help from the Search and Rescue team, and allowed Jeongin to climb back in his lap and wrap his tiny arms around his neck.
“Sorry, Han Jisung. And this is Lee Jeongin.”
“Any vital injuries you’re aware of?” The motor whirred to life as they began navigating the streets towards what Jisung was praying was help.
“Um, I have a cut on my leg but it’s not too bad. He’s probably hungry and maybe dehydrated, but I don’t think he has any injuries.”
The man nodded, “Can I take a look at your leg?”
Jisung nodded and lifted his leg for the man, looking out at the drowned city as he untied his makeshift wrap to look him over.
“This cut looks pretty serious so we’re going to take you straight to medical,” the man said as he properly dressed the wound for the ride. “Are you a local or a tourist?”
“Tourist,” Jisung said quietly, head swirling with thoughts of what they could’ve possibly meant about his leg, thoughts of his friends being potentially injured, thoughts of Minho being injured.
“Is there anyone else in your party?”
“Uhm, yes. There’s eight of us total - five adults, three kids.”
“Names?” The man pulled up his iPad.
“Lee Minho, that’s his father,” Jisung gestured to the boy in his lap, “Bang Chan and his son Felix and Seo Changbin, Seo Hyunjin and their son Seungmin.”
“Ah, okay, it looks like I have the Seo family and the Bang family logged here, all uninjured. We can have them notified of your condition once you’re officially checked in with medical.”
Jisung nodded, “Okay.” He was grateful everyone was uninjured and he couldn’t wait to see them all again- “Wait. You said The Bang family and the Seo Family. What about Minho? Lee Minho. Check again! Where is Minho!?”
“Please calm down, Sir. You can discuss this more when you’re checked in. This is all I know.” The man said, trying to placate Jisung.
“I’m- I’m sorry. You’re just doing your job. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. This is a challenging situation, I understand.”
-
When Jeongin had been fed, drank water, hooked up to an IV, and was back to sleep next to him, Jisung finally let his body relax against the bed he and the three-year-old shared. His body was aching and he could finally feel the pain in his leg.
“Hello Jisung,” a doctor smiled as he walked over to Jisung’s bed.
“Hello,” he responded quietly.
“It seems the both of you are dehydrated so we’ll keep you hooked up to the IVs, Jeongin should be okay with just this one bag. As for you, we’re going to inject some antibiotics and a painkiller for your sun poisoning and we’ll do a cold compress and a cooling aloe gel after that. We’re also going to need to do some stitches for the laceration on your calf, which should be done as soon as possible, but we can wait until your party has arrived to take Jeongin out of the room. I’m sure neither of you would be okay with being separated by strangers right now. And then we have some topical antibiotics, the cut on your calf, and then a few more along your legs are infected from being submerged in the water for so long.”
“Yes, Sir,” Jisung said. He was exhausted and honestly didn't want to talk to anyone anymore.
“Yes, well, it seems that despite your own injuries, you’ve kept this little one in the best condition within your capabilities.”
Jisung’s gaze went from the boy half lying on top of him to the doctor who had begun to inject some new medicines into his IV. “His father? Who can tell me anything about Minho? I need to find him.”
“Someone should be around to discuss that with you soon. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”
“No, no, you’ve done so much, thank you. You’re sure Jeongin’s okay?”
“With the exception of being a little dehydrated, he’s perfectly healthy.”
Jisung nodded and ran his fingers gently over Jeongin’s cheek, “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, you’re the one that protected him out there.”
Jisung just pulled the younger into him more, Jeongin subconsciously snuggling into his neck in his sleep, and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t feel like he did enough. He didn’t protect Jeongin - he kept him out there, in the hot sun, for hours and hours. Minho would never forgive him. Or, well, maybe he would, because he was sweet and compassionate and caring and the best thing that has ever happened to him. But Jisung knew that he didn't do enough. He’d never be enough for the two of them.
Why did he have himself convinced that he could handle this? He was only twenty-three, how could he be what Minho needed? What Minho wanted?
-
Jisung woke to hushed voices surrounding him. He slowly blinked open his eyes, trying to adjust to the light, and looked around. Jeongin was still with him, but he was sitting up next to him and giggling. Chan was holding Felix in his lap in a chair next to his bed and smiling fondly as the two boys chatted away in their best whisper voices. He turned his head to the other side and saw Hyunjin in another chair with Seungmin asleep in his lap, Changbin standing next to them.
He didn’t see Minho. Where was Minho?
“Minho?” he croaked out, voice rough with sleep.
“Ji! You’re awake! Finally!” Changbin said and ruffled his hair. “We were worried about you, you little shit.”
“Where’s Minho?” he asked, more firmly this time. He was sick of people brushing him off when he asked for him.
“We’re still not sure,” Chan said and reached his hand out to brush some of Jisung’s hair from his face. “They gave you some stitches while you were out. How’re you feeling?”
Jisung couldn’t have cared less about his fucking leg. He finally allowed a sob to rip its way from his chest. It was a rough sound, tearing through his diaphragm and shocking the quiet of the room. Jeongin and Felix had stopped talking, and both turned to look at Jisung.
“Jiji? Jiji okay?” Jeongin asked as he crawled over Jisung to hug him as tight as his tiny arms would allow.
Jisung winced from the pain in his neck and shoulders but ignored it and hugged the boy back just as tight and cried into his shoulder. He shouldn’t be doing this. He should be stronger and sturdier - not crying in the arms of a three-year-old. He should be the one comforting Jeongin, not the other way around.
There was a loud sound and shouting outside their room, and the room fell silent. Seungmin winced in his sleep and clung tighter to Hyunjin while Changbin stood a little straighter, ready to protect his friends and family. Felix whimpered, grabbed onto Chan, and hid his face in his father’s neck. Jeongin crawled over Jisung and squeezed himself into the man’s side.
The door flung open loudly, and a very frantic Lee Minho rushed inside.
“Oh, thank god,” he cried out.
“Appa!” Jeongin yelled and threw himself into the arms of his father.
“Oh Jeonginnie, I’m so glad you’re okay,” he said as he hugged his son tight, “Appa was so worried about you, Bug.”
Jisung smiled as he watched the two of them.
“Are you hurt anywhere, my baby?” He asked and pulled the younger out of his neck to look him over as best as he could.
“Innie no hurt,” he said as he hugged Minho again. “Jus’ miss Appa,” he mumbled into his neck.
Minho just hugged him back even tighter, “I missed you too, Baby.”
He finally looked up to see Jisung, looking as small as ever in the hospital bed, “Oh Baby, how are you?”
He sat on the edge of the bed, Jeongin still in his arms, and reached a hand out to stroke over Jisung’s cheek.
“‘M fine, Hyung.”
“Don’t let him lie to you, Minho hyung. He’s the worst out of all of us,” Changbin scoffed.
Minho looked back over to him with a face full of concern and started to look him over to catalog his injuries.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. They’re making it seem like it’s worse than it is.”
“That’s bullsh- that’s bull,” Minho said, “You’re in the hospital. They wouldn’t have given you a bed if it wasn’t bad. Not during a natural disaster.”
“It’s just a little cut and a sunburn,” he mumbled.
“It looks worse than a fu- uhm a freaking sunburn, Ji,” Minho said. He looked him over again and stood up, “I’m gonna talk to your doctor.”
“Minho, I understand you’re concerned, but he’s probably very busy. Just wait until he comes back, yeah?” Chan said before Minho could leave the room to chase after the poor overworked doctor.
Minho just sighed and mumbled something that sounded a little helpless, a little bit like ‘you’re right,’ but he’d never admit that. He plopped down on the edge of the bed again and adjusted Jeongin in his lap to be more comfortable.
-
“Minho hyung, I think I’m just gonna head home, okay?” Jisung said as he hauled two suitcases into Minho’s house, despite the elder’s protests that he shouldn’t be lifting anything.
Minho whipped his head around quickly, “What? Absolutely not, Jisung.”
“I just, I just wanna sleep. And I promise I’ll apply the cream like they said and I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and-”
“Sleep here. In our bed. And I’ll apply the cream for you and change your gauze and we’ll go to the doctor tomorrow morning together.” Minho said. His voice cracked, full of emotion - he was desperate to keep his family together. After being forcefully split apart, separated for hours, he couldn’t stomach the thought of not being with the two people he loved more than anything else.
“Minho, I know you’re worried but please. I just need to decompress. Just wanna be alone for a bit. I’ll come back tomorrow after I leave the doctor’s office.”
Minho looked at him apprehensively, he didn’t want Jisung or Jeongin out of his sight for the next, probably, five years.
“Your phone is gone. What if something happens? What if you need me and I can’t get to you?” ‘Again’ went unsaid, but Minho’s eyes said everything his mouth couldn’t.
“I have my laptop still. Worst-case scenario I just message you on there. But nothing will happen. I’ll be okay.” Jisung said.
Minho sighed, “Okay. Okay, fine. But message me as soon as you get home. And when you’re leaving for the doctor tomorrow. And make sure you eat something and drink water when you get home and before you go to bed and-”
“I know, Min,” he said and walked over to the elder. He kissed him gently and then kissed Jeongin’s forehead, who was sleeping in Minho’s arms with his head against his father’s shoulder.
Minho smiled, a sad broken little quirk of his lips, but allowed the younger to go back to his apartment. The apartment Jisung hadn’t spent the night at in close to six months.
-
When Jisung walked into his cold, lonely, dusty apartment - god, he really shouldn’t have let it get this bad - he collapsed on the couch. He was numb for a moment, but then everything hit him, all at once. Every emotion that had been building up came crashing over him. A sob rattled its way out of his chest while panic settled between his ribs.
He fiddled with his laptop long enough to send ‘home’ to Minho and then curled into himself on the corner of the couch. Why did he think he was cut out for this? He’d never be enough. He shouldn't be placing any extra stress on Minho like this. Minho shouldn’t have to fuss and worry over his partner when he had Jeongin to worry about.
Jisung was just in the way, keeping Minho away from Jeongin. And Jeongin, he couldn’t even protect him when he needed Jisung the most.
He finally fell asleep after what felt like hours of just sobbing on the couch, but was woken up by a nasty swirling in his gut. He tried sitting up but was hit with an intense wave of dizziness - the room spinning. He leaned over the couch and threw up violently, all over the side of the couch and the floor. He started panicking, and he didn’t really know what to do.
The only solution he could come up with was to call someone. He couldn’t be alone right now.
He grabbed his laptop and FaceTimed one of his most recent contacts. We waited anxiously through the ringing and then when, finally, the call connected, he sighed in relief.
“Ji?” Changbin said, his hair was a ruffled mess and his face was puffy.
“Hey, Hyung, ‘m sorry it’s so late,” he said through tears and then was hit with a wave of sickness again. “Fuck!”
Jisung ran to his kitchen and threw up for the second time in the trash can.
“Ji? Jisung! Are you okay? What’s going on? Where’s Minho?” Changbin called out.
Hyunjin seemed to be alerted by this time, Jisung could hear his voice now as he sluggishly walked back to the living room.
“‘M okay. Just sick. Didn’t know what to do,” he said.
“Where’s Minho?” Hyunjin asked.
“He’s at home.”
“And where’re you?” Changbin chimed in.
“Home. My apartment.”
“Why the hell are you at your apartment? You’re sick and injured!” Hyunjin yelled.
“Babe, calm down okay? It’s late and Minnie is asleep,” Changbin tried to soothe his husband.
“No! Minho is a fucking nurse! He knows how to take care of you! Why’d you call us and not your boyfriend?”
Jisung picked at his thumbnail, embarrassed, “I, Uhm, I didn’t wanna talk to him.”
“Why? Did something happen?” Changbin asked quietly.
“No. Nothing happened.”
“Then why are you at the apartment you’ve not stepped foot in in ages and not in your home with your boyfriend and son?” Hyunjin asked, softer now that he could tell Jisung was struggling.
“He’s not my son.” Jisung’s voice came out quiet and forced. He sounded short of breath and weak.
Hyunjin and Changbin both scoffed, if Jisung hadn’t been avoiding eye contact with his friends, he would have seen the way the couple looked at each other, communicating with their eyes.
“What makes you say that, Ji?” Changbin asked.
“M’not good enough. Couldn’t protect him.”
“What do you mean? He was completely uninjured! Jisung, the two of them love you so much, and you do so much for them. You protected Jeongin with your life.” Hyunjin said.
Jisung was hit with another wave of nausea, “Hold on. Gimme just- gimme a minute.” He waddled over to the kitchen and dragged the trash can into the living room so he wouldn’t have to keep getting back up. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
“I’m calling Minho,” Hyunjin said, reaching over to the side table to grab his phone.
“No! No, just, please. Don’t bother him.”
“I’m calling Minho, Jisung. You’re sick and panicking and we’re worried about you.” Hyunjin climbed out of bed and put his phone to his ear.
“You protected Jeongin so well, Ji. You’re enough for Minho, for Jeongin. You love them and they love you. Minho is the first to say ‘our son’, not ‘my son’. He sees you as Innie’s father just as much as he sees himself as his father.”
-
“Jiji!”
Minho shot up off of the couch at the sound of his son’s cry. He hadn’t been able to sleep without Jisung here, worry eating at him. He ran to Jeongin’s room and saw him thrashing in his bed.
“Innie, baby, Appa’s here,” Minho said and rubbed over his back. He tried to ease him awake without startling him.
“Jiji,” Jeongin cried as he finally woke up.
“It’s okay, Baby, it’s okay. I’m here bub.” Minho soothed. Jeongin climbed into his lap and hugged him tightly.
“Appa,” Jeongin mumbled “Wan’ Jiji. Where Jiji? Why Jiji no’ here?”
“I miss Jiji, too. He’ll be here tomorrow, okay?”
“No! Jiji now!” Jeongin wailed.
“I know, I’m sorry Baby. Can you tell Appa what your dream was about?”
“Water! Want Jiji! P’ease Appa! Jiji!”
Minho’s phone rang from the other room and Minho shot up. What if it’s Jisung?
When he reached the living room with Jeongin in his arms, he picked up his phone and saw it was Hyunjin. “Hello? Hyunjin now isn’t really a good time. Can I call you back tomorrow-”
“Hey Hyung, I’m sorry, you should go over to Ji’s. Right now,” Hyunjin said into the phone.
“What? What’s going on? Is he okay?” Minho asked, frantic.
“Uhm, I don’t really know how to answer that right now. He’s throwing up and I think he’s having a panic attack. He’s struggling with his breathing and he’s talking crazy. He keeps saying Jeongin isn’t his son, that he couldn’t protect him, that he doesn’t want you to worry about him?”
“I fucking knew I shouldn’t have let him go back to his apartment. I knew it was deeper than he was letting on.” He rubbed a hand down his face.
“Do you want me or Bin to come over to be with Innie?” Hyunjin asked.
“No,” he sighed. “He had a nightmare and keeps asking for Jisung. He won’t settle back down. I’ll just have to bring him with me, I guess.”
“I- I just don’t think that’s the best right now. Jisung definitely isn’t in the right mindset.”
“Okay, okay, shi- shoot. Uhm, Innie, Appa’s gotta go see Jiji, he’s sickie. Would you be okay going to Uncle Jinnie and Uncle Binnie’s house?” Minho asked Jeongin.
“No! I want Jiji! Want Jiji! Need ‘im! Need ‘im!” Jeongin cried out and kicked his legs.
Jeongin wasn’t really a tantrum thrower, he never had been. He was very well-behaved, so Minho knew that whatever big emotions he was feeling, was serious.
“I- He won’t.”
Hyunjin was whispering on the other side of the line for a moment and then cleared his throat.
“Take him with you. Take him to Jisung’s. Just go now, okay?”
“Okay,” Minho said into the phone. “C’mon Innie, let’s put your shoes on. We’re goin’ to Jiji’s.”
-
When Minho arrived at Jisung’s apartment, he knocked a few times but there was no answer. He fished his keys back out of his pocket and fiddled until he picked out which one was the spare, and his fingers trembled as he unlocked the door.
When he pushed open the door, he immediately saw Jisung on the couch asleep. He was hunched over in the corner and leaning on the armrest, face close to the trash can from his kitchen. The closer Minho got, the worse Jisung looked. His face was pale, he was a little sweaty, and he had dark circles under his eyes.
Jeongin had fallen asleep in the car so he carried him to Jisung’s room and laid him down in the bed, covering him with Jisung’s black duvet.
When he returned to the living room, he ran his fingers through Jisung’s hair.
“Ji, baby, can you wake up for me?”
Jisung groaned and pressed his face into the armrest.
“Baby boy, oh fuck,” he said, his hand on Jisung’s forehead, “you’re burning up, Love.”
Minho shuffled to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water and a dish towel, soaked it in cool water, and walked back to the living room. He wiped over Jisung’s face and then folded it over his forehead. He then took his time cleaning up the vomit from the couch and floor as best as he could and sat down in front of Jisung.
“Hyung?” Jisung mumbled sleepily.
“Yeah Baby, can you sit up and drink some water for me?” He cracked the water bottle open and held it out to Jisung.
“‘M sorry.”
“Why’re you sorry, Ji? You’re sick, don’t apologize.”
“No. ‘M sorry I couldn’t protect you and Innie,” Jisung said as he finally sat himself up, “And now you’re here instead of at home with Innie sleeping.”
“Innie had a nightmare. He woke up screaming and I couldn’t get him back to sleep-”
“I-”
“No, Jisung. Please, let me talk. Innie woke up and he didn’t want me. He wanted you. You, Jisung. He wanted you because you protected him out there,” Minho ran his fingers through Jisung’s hair, and stroked down his face, “Drink some water, Baby. You kept him safe. You sacrificed your health for him. He came out completely uninjured because you wouldn’t let him get hurt. He loves you. I love you. He’s your son too. You’ve been by my side through almost everything.”
Jisung had tears rolling down his face, he shakily sipped from the water bottle.
“Do you remember when he got sick and his fever was 102? I was panicking and you were the one who stepped up and drove us to the hospital. Ji, Baby, you can’t punish yourself like this. You couldn’t stop the tsunami, and you did everything you could have done to protect him, and I’m so grateful. I couldn’t ask for anyone better to stand by my side. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“I just, I felt so helpless. I was so scared,” Jisung said quietly. “I was scared that he would get hurt, that it would be my fault. I was so terrified that I’d never see you again, or that when we left, you’d never wanna see me again. I didn't wanna lose you guys. And I was so scared you'd be disappointed in me.”
Minho sat up on the couch next to Jisung and pulled him into his arms, “I could never be disappointed in you. I know that you do everything for Jeongin already, and now I know that you’d sacrifice yourself for my son. For our son.”
Jisung collapsed into Minho’s chest and sobbed into his neck.
They sat wrapped around each other for a while, just being together when they heard Innie start crying from Jisung’s bedroom. They both shot up and Jisung’s world started spinning again.
“Hold on, Baby. I’ll go get him and bring him in here,” Minho said as Jisung sat back down on the couch. He rushed to the bedroom and came back out carrying Jeongin.
“Jiji! Appa, wan’ Jiji!” Jeongin cried.
“He’s here, Innie. Jiji’s here. Look, he’s right here, Baby,” Minho said as he sat down next to Jisung on the couch.
“Jiji,” Jeongin cried as he climbed over Minho, settled into Jisung’s lap, and hugged him.
“Hey Buddy, you’re okay. You’re safe.”
“Don’t go ‘gain. Stay wit’ Innie an’ Appa. Stay Jiji, stay,” Jeongin mumbled. Jisung could feel the young boy’s tears on his neck, but he didn’t care, he had his entire world in his arms.
“I won’t go anywhere ever again, Baby.”
-
“You know, I was gonna propose to you at the resort,” Minho whispered into Jisung’s neck as the sun began to rise in the sky. Jeongin was sprawled across their laps, snoring softly while he slept.
Jisung whipped his head around to stare at Minho, “What? Are you joking?”
Minho smirked and shuffled around to start digging through his pocket. He pulled out a ring box and passed it over to Jisung.
Jisung looked at Minho with wide eyes, “Is this a joke? Are you being serious?”
“Of course I’m serious. Open it.”
Jisung opened the box with a snap and stared down at the simple silver band. The rising sun glinted off of the smooth surface as it poured in through the window. He ran his finger over the metal and felt a hot tear roll down his cheek.
“I’m sorry we aren’t on the beach or-”
“No,” Jisung interrupted. He looked at Minho, he looked exhausted and nervous, but his skin glowed in the soft morning light. He looked at Jeongin asleep on their laps, his hair fanned out around his head, his mouth wide open and drooling. “This is perfect. I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. We love you.”