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Stefan flicked through the draw of tapes, all labelled with scenes: first session, mother’s funeral, LSD.
LSD? Stefan picked the tape up between gentle fingers and placed it into the player. It slid with a whir, shut with a snap, and the screen jumped to life.
Stefan found himself looking down into Colin’s living room, as if from the room’s corner. He saw himself, sipping tea and giggling absentmindedly. Colin had his back faced toward the camera, his chest moving as he laughed at Stefan.
Music played as Stefan stood and stumbled through the room, swiping his hand against posters and looking around in wonder.
Whilst Stefan’s back was turned, Colin chanced a quick glance at the camera, a smirk flicking over his lips, before he turned and made his way over to an oblivious Stefan.
Stefan rushed forward to turn off the tape player, the screen going black and showing him his own stunned expression. However, in his reflection, not only did he see himself, but he also saw Colin.
He whipped around so quickly he went light-headed. Colin was looking at him with an arched eyebrow. “You didn’t honestly expect I wasn’t in on this too, did you?” He asked.
Stefan blinked slowly at him, his lips parted but unable to form words. Colin scoffed. “Come on, Stefan. I thought you were smart.”
“I thought you were my friend,” Stefan snapped. Colin shrugged. “I can be your friend.”
“I don’t want to be your fucking friend,” Stefan retorted. He had taken a step forward without meaning to and, in the small cupboard, he was forced close to Colin, their noses almost touching. “You betrayed me.”
Colin’s eyes flickered over Stefan’s face, observant and judgemental. When he spoke, his eyes were low and hooded, “You’re so naïve.”
Stefan felt hot tears welling behind his eyes. Colin had been his friend, his only friend. He was the only person that had ever understood Stefan, the only good person.
“Fuck you,” Stefan spat. Colin looked taken aback, but only mildly. As if he knew Stefan could go there but didn’t know if he would have the guts to. It made Stefan feel pathetic, like he’d even let Colin down.
Stefan leant back, as far as he could without backing away. “Tell me the truth,” he began, quietly, and Colin’s eyes bore intrigue. “Was any of it real?”
A smirk tugged at Colin’s lips, and he closed in on Stefan, stopping only a breadth away. “What? The trip? Or what happened after?”
Stefan gulped, meeting Colin’s eyes, searching for any remorse or hint of compassion, but he couldn’t find anything. “After,” he finally replied.
Images of what happened after flicked past Stefan’s mind like a movie on double speed. Colin’s lips meeting Stefan’s in a drug-fuelled haze, his hands moving hot over the skin of Stefan’s hips, his fingers tugging desperately at Stefan’s curls, nails scratching so hard that Stefan assumed they would draw blood.
He felt his cheeks burn as the memories resurfaced. “Did it feel real?” Colin asked, his voice barely audible. Stefan gave a small nod, careful not to bump heads with Colin as he edged closer.
Their lips met in a brush. Stefan’s eyes fluttered closed, his eyelashes tickling his cheekbones. Colin pulled back. “Does it feel real now?”
Stefan didn’t give an answer, instead grabbing Colin by the back of the neck and pulling him back in. Their second kiss was rushed, hot and heavy, as if the walls were closing in.
Stefan could feel the edges of the desk behind him, digging into his back, as Colin pushed further. His breaths came loud and desperate, his palms pushing roughly against Stefan’s chest.
Just as Stefan lips left Colin’s and met the skin of his jaw, a bright light flashed, forcing Stefan to open his eyes.
The walls around them had collapsed to the ground, revealing a set. Lights, cameras and a crew surrounded them. Stefan felt Colin’s chest move against his, and when he pulled Colin away, he saw that he was laughing.
“God, you’re pathetic.” Stefan felt his stomach sink. He turned and saw his father watching them from behind a camera, alongside Dr. Haynes. Stood by another collapsed wall was Thakur, with a bored expression on his face.
Stefan pushed Colin as hard as he could, yet he only stumbled, still laughing. “I can’t believe you fell for it again!” He exclaimed.
Stefan fumbled behind him without taking his eyes off of Colin. He knew what he was searching for, and he knew exactly where to find it.
Finally, his fingers closed over the glass ashtray and with a frustrated cry, he swung it through the air, connecting with a thump with Colin’s head.
Stefan jolted with a gasp, sitting up in bed and panting, as his heart rate spiked. He looked frantically around the room, yet it was the same as always. His own bedroom.
He sighed with relief, flopping back down onto his mattress as he realised that it had all been a dream. Colin hadn’t betrayed him, Colin was his friend. Yet he could still feel the weight of Colin’s lips on his.