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The hard concrete roof dug into Neil's back, groaning as he complained.
"She's dead. I killed her, why do I still feel so disgusting?"
The smoke from his lit cigarette slowly rising into the dark sky, the clicking of his old gray lighter echoing through the empty campus, the orange buildings almost illuminated by the moon.
"I mean I should be over it now, I got my revenge," He said stressing each syllable so the shorter man would understand.
"I spent all these years barely caring about what she did," He pauses to lift the cigarette to his face taking long drag to keep it lit.
"Why does it still feel like she's on my skin?" he murmurs, barely above a whisper, almost praying the shorter, blonde and hazel eyed, man will respond, hoping he will impart some much needed wisdom. "....Drew? does it ever go away?" The red head asks hopelessly.
The blonde hums around the whiskey bottle.
"No." Andrew replies blandly. "It just gets worse." Taking another swig before placing the half empty bottle between the two.
"Why does it hurt now?" Neil questions, angrily taking another drag of his cigarette, before exhaling into the sharp air.
"You finally feel safe enough to process," The blonde says factually, stealing the red heads cigarette and taking long drag, before stubbing the shared butt next to Neil's head, narrowly avoiding his hair. Neil pulls himself up into a sitting position before staring at the blonde.
There's a long silence before Neil finally speaks up again.
"How do you deal with it now?" Neil asks, glancing at the blondes left arm, where tight black cloth usually rests. Andrew stares at him eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.
"I take long hot showers before turning the water ice cold. I installed a lock only me and Bee have the key too." He pauses, taking another swig from the whiskey before handing it to the red head.
"I set boundaries," The blonde stresses looking pointedly at Neil's blue eyes, shining in the full moons light.
"I am not meant to have boundaries," The red head mutters, cursing quietly before taking a swing of the whiskey coughing as he swallows the sharp liquid, hitting his chest, the liquid burning his throat.
"You are pathetic" Andrew says with a slight up tilt of his lips, choosing to ignore the blatant lie.
"You must also be pathetic if you're up here with me," Neil says with a grin, tapping two fingers to his temple, before wiping his mouth with his bright orange hoodie sleeve. Andrew scowls before flipping him off.
"125% junkie" He says before rolling his eyes.
"Yeah Yeah," Neil says his grin turning into a soft smile.
"Healing isn't always fast. If you talked to Bee you would know that," Andrew rolled his at Neil's childishness.
"I'd rather talk to you thanks," The red head says grimacing at the mention of the teams therapist. The blonde simply hums and turns away but Neil swears he saw the beginning of a smile.