Chapter Text
Hitori never needed to sleep ever since she had her powers.
She didn’t like her powers at all, but this was something she was infinitely glad for. It allowed her to look for her friends, it allowed her to play her guitar, and it allowed her to learn more about her powers before she inevitably screwed up. Indeed, sleeping was a thing of the past for her.
Well, no, that wasn’t entirely true. Once, after years of endless work on Earth-Bet, she had decided to take a nap. She remembers finding an underwater cave, digging a hole that was big enough to fit, and slowly curling up in it. She remembers the salty taste of the ocean on her tongue, the icy prickling on her skin from the water, and the near silence that filled everything as she was lulled to sleep.
She remembers screaming at the top of her lungs as she woke up, pink waves of energy rending everything apart as she lashed out. She remembers how she cradled her head as she dealt with the worst headache of her life. She remembers having trouble breathing, despite not needing air. She remembers the sinking feeling in her stomach, barely grounding her in reality.
It had been more than a decade since that. She hasn't slept again.
It was a stupid thing. One nightmare shouldn’t have hurt this much. Not after everything she had gone through, but it had permanently left its mark on Hitori.
She saw all the good and bad from that dream. She saw herself alongside the band, playing with them like she longed. She saw herself meeting new faces, people who she could call friends. She saw the band growing, raising up the ranks of stardom, and even getting signed up for a record label.
Then she saw everyone struggle and be pushed to their limits. She saw Nijika and Ryo exchanging heated words that almost devolved into fistfights. She saw herself looking at an apology message from Kita, the girl having been so absent she was all but a ghost. She saw herself doing nothing but watching it all unfold, naively thinking that her inaction wasn't doing anything bad.
Finally, she saw it all crumble around her. She saw herself hurling hateful words at one of the people she loved with all her heart. She saw those hateful words being thrown back. She saw when it all clicked for her.
“Haven’t you done enough?”
Hitori had ruined it. She had been the reason why she broke up the band, why everything had gone wrong, and why her friends were hurt. She had destroyed everyone’s hopes and dreams and hadn't done a thing to fix it.
That was when she woke up, a broken future etched in her mind.
It was fine, Hitori told herself as she flew away from Japan. It was just a dream, She told herself as she mindlessly took care of crime. It’s okay. She continued to think, even as millions of eyes focused on her, hushed whispers following her every move. It’s going to be okay. If she keeps saying it, she might start to believe it.
Years passed by. It had been so long, but she found them. Her band. She played music that she loved with them, spent time with them, and had finally found some respite in her life for the first time in three decades.
Yet, the echoes of that dream still linger on the horizon. An ugly reminder that despite it all, it could still be taken away from her. A constant reminder that she could break it all.
Still, she pushed through it. It was just her jumping at shadows. It wasn't like a future as horrible as that could actually come true.
…Right?
In an endless sea of gray rock, there was a pink light that stood out like nothing else.
Pointing her camera at the Earth, Hitori waited for her phone to focus, made sure she got the perfect shot, and then…
*Click!*
There it was. An authentic picture of Earth taken from the moon on her little phone.
I hope everyone likes this… Hitori thought to herself, a small smile present on her face.
It had been a normal day on Earth-Bet, with no big crimes or disasters for her to take care of, no weird supervillains, and no creepy fans! (Okay, that was a lie, there were still some creepy fans, even now.)
Deciding to be a little lax, Hitori had taken a break for today, traveling to the moon to show off something cool to her friends.
While being admired for her powers would have made Hitori fold herself six ways, it was different with her friends. If it was just to the band, she felt a lot more comfortable showing off when possible.
Ah, I can’t wait to see how everyone reacts! Hitori thought to herself, preparing to go back. She was a little distracted with all the praise she imagined heading her way, but it was fine! By this point, she had already memorized where her home was, so no need to worry about getting lost!
With no further ado, Hitori stepped out of Earth-Bet, and back into her own world, looking at-
Wait… Hitori thought, looking at the sun slowly disappearing over the horizon. Wasn't it supposed to be night?
Ah, maybe she had spent more time on Earth-Bet than she thought! She thought she had been better about those things, but the pink worm known as Hitori was not known for her reliability. So, she quickly teleported above her home, where her mom and dad were surely worrying about her, and-
No one was there.
The lights were off, the curtains were shut, and it still had undeniable proof that it was still lived in. That wasn't what caught Hitori's attention though.
What caught her attention was how empty her room was. Her computer wasn't there, her guitar wasn't there, and her ProPhos weren't there.
Hitori started to worry.
Did I do something wrong? Maybe this is some sort of prank or something! Oh! Or mom moved everything around, and didn't tell me! Yes, that has to be-!
Hitori paused. Once again, a calendar had stopped her dead in her tracks. The month and date were the same as they were before, but there was one key difference.
It was years ahead.
Dread filled every ounce of Hitori’s body. She felt herself shake. She felt tears pricking the corners of her eyes.
No. There's no way. I just found them. They're here, they have to be. I didn't mess up. Please don't take them from me.
A millisecond passed. In that very same instant, she popped above Starry, well above where anyone could see her, but where she could easily see them.
Nothing. She didn't see Kessoku Band, she didn’t see Seika or PA-San, she didn't see anyone she knew.
Where are they? Where?! Please, just let me find them! Hitori pleaded to herself, on the edge of doing something stupid and desperate. Please! Just let me-!
Something clicked in Hitori’s mind. Nijika. She found her. She knew exactly where she was.
Filled with one last burst of desperation, she prepared herself for the worst, appearing high in the sky above Nijika and-
What…am I…?
Hitori’s thoughts were pulled everywhere. There was no stopping her from hovering blankly above everything. There was no stopping her pink aura from appearing.
She saw a funeral. Of herself. The picture being displayed wasn't one she remembered taking, and there were white flowers all around her portrait.
And yet, that wasn’t what stopped her. What stopped her were the people attending. Some of whom she had only met…
In a dream.
That's…Yoyoko Ohtsuki, right? Hitori blankly thought, looking at the endless tears being shed by the woman who had declared herself Hitori's rival, once upon a time. And that's…Sasaki, right? Hitori looked at her friend(?), who was doing her best to keep spirits up, but was close to shedding tears with the way her lips twitched ever so often.
She was still having trouble processing everything. Her mind instead latched on two women who had left an impression in her dreams.
Poison Yami was far away from everyone, staying completely alone as tears dipped down her cheeks. She looked nothing like the same girl who had boldly proclaimed that Hitori was Guitarhero.
What finally brought Hitori to some semblance of a realization was the person who had given Kessoku Band the chance to make a record label.
Miyako Shiba looked absolutely guilty. While she seemed professional and kind for the short time Hitori had known her, she seemed absolutely miserable here, distancing herself from everyone else.
All these people. People that Hitori couldn’t have known. People who didn't know Hitori. That shouldn't have known her.
This means…
It wasn’t a dream. What she saw so long ago, something that was so horrible that she dreaded it with every ounce of her being…
And it was real. All of it.
Hitori’s heart was beating in her ear. Her breath was coming out in short bursts. Her fingers were trembling as she brought her hands to her face.
No…
Seika was crying harder than almost anyone else there. PA-San held Seika in her arms, but it didn’t matter. Hitori thought she looked so strong and reliable most of the time, and here she was, shedding tears for Hitori of all people.
Please, stop it!
Hiroi looked absolutely horrible. She was so often seen with an easy smile or with alcohol in hand, but both were absent. Her band was her only support as her tears continued to decorate the floor.
It's not real!
"Why do we need to do this?!" Futari yelled out to their depressed parents, frustrated tears spilling out. They could be confused for twins at this point. Futari had grown up, and Hitori had missed it. "I know she's not gone! I know it! She's just being a dummy! She'll come back! She always does!"
Seika's sobs grew louder.
…Futari. I'm right here. I…
Then, finally, the most important person there shattered Hitori's mind.
Nijika didn't look like Nijika. She was supposed to have a bright smile on at all times. She was supposed to look full of life. She was supposed to look young.
Then, who was this person? Her eyes looked tired, blank. There was no spirit anywhere to be seen in her. She looked too old to be Nijika.
No, it was impossible. If that really was Nijika, then where was Ryo? She was always by Nijika's side, right? She wasn't always reliable, but wouldn't she be here? What about Kita? Kita cared about the band. She wouldn't abandon Nijika in this situation. They had gotten along well, so where was she?
It couldn't have been Nijika who was next to Seika. It couldn't have been, because the band would have been right alongside her too.
Unless they were driven away. Unless they all got into a fight. Unless Hitori said despicable things to her friends. Unless she hurt the people she loved.
Unless they didn't even care that she was gone.
Hitori grabbed fistfuls of her hair, feeling absolutely sick.
It was all her fault. Whatever she saw, whatever it was, it was all real. She had been the cause of it. She broke the band, hurt everyone, said horrible things and made things worse for everyone. She ruined everything made everything worse and had forced someone else to pick up the pieces and now here they were crying over an inconsiderate bitch like her and-
"This is all because of you!" Futari bellowed, voice full of resentment and sadness. Hitori flinched, but it wasn't directed towards her.
It was directed towards Nijika.
Nijika looked absolutely taken aback. There was shock and sadness present on her, alongside guilt. Her mouth opened, but she failed to answer as Futari jabbed a finger into her chest.
"If it wasn't for you, Big Sis would be okay! If it wasn't for you, Big Sis wouldn't have run away from home!"
"I…I didn't know-" Nijika hardly muttered an answer before Futari continued.
"You should have! She's your friend! You should have looked out for her! She would have done the same for you!" Futari's frustrated tears kept spilling out, even as their parents tried to pull her back. "I hate you!"
Nijika looked absolutely miserable. She didn't shed a single tear, but her gaze fell to the ground, and she just looked small in a way that was uncomfortably familiar. She didn’t fight Seika gently pulling her away from all the eyes on them.
Hitori hated it. What happened wasn't Nijika's fault at all. She didn't deserve any of the blame. She was hurting like everyone else.
Because Hitori hesitated. Because she stood by. Because instead of helping out, she had done nothing but watch.
…No.
No, she wouldn’t let things end like this! She didn’t know if this was some alternate world, some bad future, or something like that, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she made up for her mistakes and fixed everything.
Hitori, having finally returned to awareness, noted everyone leaving, finally bringing an end to her funeral. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and cleared her mind.
She wasn't even sure how she would start fixing things. She wasn't even sure how bad things were, really. But it didn’t matter. If everything was wrong…
Should anyone be looking up in the sky, they would see a pink star. It was a symbol of hope in other places, and today, it shined especially bright. Eventually, the star disappeared as quickly as it came.
…I'll make it right.
…I hate this. Nijika thought to herself, dwelling in the silence that had enveloped them as they left home, and yet again as they left Bocchi’s…Hitori’s funeral.
She knew she shouldn’t have come. She should have made a bigger fuss when Seika had forced her to come. She knew that nothing good would have come of it, and…
“This is all because of you!”
She didn’t want to dwell on those words.
Nijika took a quick peek at Seika, who looked utterly exhausted and devastated. Her eyes were red and puffy, there was a certain slowness to her steps, and she didn’t look to be in a state to do anything. Not that Nijika would blame her.
PA-san, Aruto, would have been right beside them, trying to fill the silence. Had it not been for Seika requesting time to grieve alone, she would have done her best to cheer them up.
As soon as they were a couple of blocks away from Starry, Nijika took out her phone, opened her contacts, and hovered over the contact that was cheerfully named, ‘Bocchi-chan!’ She did her best to not look at the ones nestled close to it.
God, was it her fault? Was she the reason Hitori had disappeared from the face of the earth? Should she have said something? What would she have even said? They had been apart for so long, and she didn’t think she would ever find the words to talk to her in person, let alone in text.
It doesn’t matter now. Nijika thought, looking down at her feet. It was too late anyway.
As soon as Starry was in view, Nijika spoke up, finally ending the tense silence that had uneased her. “Sis…”
Seika looked at her, tired and sad.
I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not looking after Hitori. I’m sorry that I couldn’t make Starry special for you. I’m sorry that I didn’t do better. I’m sorry that I couldn’t find a good band. I'm sorry.
“...I’ll clean up the main room of Starry for tomorrow.” She instead said, looking away quickly.
“...Yeah,” Seika said, her voice still trembling and shaky. Nijika heard a quick sniff before she spoke again. “I’ll do an inventory check, I guess.”
The two sisters went to work setting up Starry, although it was pretty clear that neither of their hearts were in it. Nijika wiped down the tables, cleaned up any excess trash that she found, and did her best to make the club presentable. Meanwhile, Seika did her best to distract herself with whatever she could. Checking her accounts, managing the list of bands who were going to play, anything.
Eventually, Nijika’s thoughts wandered to happier days.
She could still remember the many times she had watched Hitori quickly crawl into a trash can, the sheer speed of such a ridiculous act surprising everyone. She still remembered watching Ryo laze around, pulling up some stupid excuse in an attempt to get out of work. She could still remember all the social fads Kita babbled about, her sheer presence doing Hitori and Ryo in.
Without noticing, a small, melancholic smile appeared on her face. It left as quickly as it came when her thoughts turned to the present.
It’s been so long…I haven’t found a band, I haven’t done anything to really help out Sis, and…I don’t know how much longer it’s going to take.
Was it too late? Was that what it was? Maybe she had lost her chance a long time ago, and-
“Nijika-chan,” Someone said, touching her shoulder.
“Ah!” Nijika yelped, quickly turning around in surprise. Was she so distracted that she didn’t notice someone coming up to her? “Don’t startle me like that! At least say something before you…”
Nijika’s voice trailed off. Her mouth felt dry.
“A-Ah, I’m sorry!” Bocchi said, panicked and worried. She waved her arms around randomly as if she hadn’t been declared dead. “I-I, you looked really distracted, and I wanted to get your attention, b-but I didn’t think just saying hello was enough, so-”
The babbling continued, not that Nijika listened to a single word. Her mind was filled with static. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing or hearing.
This couldn’t have been Bocchi, right? There was just no way. The girl in front of her was too young to be Bocchi. Yes, she looked like Bocchi, and yes, she mumbled like Bocchi, but…
“Nijika?” Seika asked, coming out of the back room. “What’s going on? I heard you-” She stopped in her tracks, jaw dropping as soon as she saw that same pink tracksuit that had shocked Nijika to her core.
“A-Ah, Manager.” The girl said, bowing in greeting to Seika. She didn’t notice Seika’s flinch as the girl addressed her so familiarly. “Sorry, but I need to talk to Nijika-chan. I-It’s really important.”
Finally finding her words, Nijika spoke up again, her voice shaky and unstable. “B-Bocchi-chan…?”
The girl looked back up at Nijika again, her eyes firming up in a way that was so painfully Bocchi that there was no room for doubt. "Y-Yeah. We need to talk."
Nijika stumbled back a step or two, bumping the table behind her. Her eyes were wide as a million questions burst through her mind.
Why are you so young? Why do you want to talk to me? How are you here? Why are you looking at me like that?
"U-Um, please don't be afraid!" Bocchi said, taking a step forward in response to Nijika retreating. "I-I know you don't want to see me, but-!"
She was interrupted by Seika, who had rushed up to Bocchi, and hugged her tightly as if she was afraid to let go.
"M-Manager?!"
"Y-You…!" Seika said, tears already spilling out. "E-Everyone thought we lost you…!"
Bocchi's expression shifted quickly to realization, before ending up in guilt.
"You're really her, right?" Seika said, pulling back from the hug and taking a closer look at Bocchi, looking at her as if it was her first time seeing her again. "T-This isn't some prank, is it? You're actually here, right?"
Bocchi's expression looked pinched before she finally replied, her voice halting and slow. "I-I am Bocchi…B-But, I'm not your Bocchi…"
"W-What do you mean?" Nijika said, finding the courage to speak up. Her voice was unsteady, despite her best efforts. "How are you…how is any of this possible?"
Nijika watched as Bocchi seemed to swallow a lump in her throat, before straightening up.
"W-Well…"
“...I don’t know what to say…” Nijika muttered, having listened to Bocchi’s explanation. Her arm was propping up her head as she leaned on the table.
Superpowers were real. They existed, and somehow, Bocchi had them. Or, rather, a Bocchi had superpowers. If that wasn’t enough, the fact that multiple universes existed was just as earth-shattering of a revelation.
“Wait, hold on,” Seika said, her expression pinched and tense as she looked at Bocchi. “If…If you really are from another world, why are you so young? You…You’re just a kid.”
Bocchi winced a bit before she nodded at Seika. “U-Um, yeah, my powers kept me young, so I wouldn’t look any different. I-I’ll probably look this way for a while…” She fidgeted a bit in her seat, twiddling her thumbs a bit. ”B-But, I’m not as far ahead as you. F-For me, it’s a month after the culture festival.”
Seika leaned back in her chair, looking a bit surprised. There were a myriad of expressions on her face, from doubt, worry, and…hope? It seemed for the time being, she was content to at least not question Bocchi further.
As for Nijika, she took notice of one of the words Bocchi used. Her powers kept her young? But she had said that it wasn’t long after the culture festival, so how would she know-?
“But before that,” Bocchi spoke up, staring Nijika directly in her eyes. There was a fire in them that took Nijika’s breath away for just a moment. “Nijika-chan, what happened to the band? I-I didn’t see Ryo and Kita at my f-funeral.”
Nijika felt her stomach drop as she put her hand over her mouth. “You saw that?” Oh god, this Bocchi was there, seeing people cry over her death. She wasn’t sure if that was a pleasant sight for anyone to see. “I-I’m sorry.”
“I-It’s not your fault!” Bocchi yelled, standing up suddenly. The sheer force that Bocchi said made the two sisters flinch in surprise. There was a moment of silence before Bocchi sat back down onto her seat looking slightly apologetic. “S-Sorry, but it doesn’t matter what I saw. The band, what happened?”
“I…” Nijika didn’t know how to answer. How could she? She couldn’t even think to describe what happened. Here was a version of Bocchi, with her own version of Nijika back home, who still had a band, who still had her friends, and who still had a chance to achieve her dream.
Unless history repeats itself.
Trying to shake off the depressing thought, she took a deep breath and spoke again. “Bocchi-chan…I haven’t talked to them in a long time.” Nijika inadvertently let out a humorless laugh. “I don’t even know where they are. We haven’t even seen each other at all. They…We just all went our separate ways.”
“Why?” Bocchi asked.
“Well, things just went bad…” Nijika trailed off, hesitating a bit. It was almost painful to say what happened, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed through it anyway. “There was this really big fight we had. It was a mess. We were-”
“Was it over a record label?”
Nijika’s eyes went wide, and a choked sound came out of her. Next to her, Seika took a sharp gasp. “H-How do you-?”
“Kita-chan…wasn’t coming to practice, was she?” Bocchi asked, a resigned expression on her face. “She was busy with University. We barely saw her, and she didn’t answer her phone.”
“Y-Yeah…”
“Ryo-san wasn’t happy with the way things were going. She left. S-She left to do her own thing, and we couldn’t stop her. We couldn’t practice with three people, but Ryo-san leaving made things worse. ”
“B-Bocchi-”
“Y-You were really tired.” Bocchi said, a deep frown on her face. “Classes were hard on you, and you wanted the label to be a success, so you worked hard. Harder than anyone else. You did everything you could to make sure things were right, but it hurt you.”
Nijika’s vision went blurry.
“And…when it was time for the record label, everyone was there, but it didn’t matter.” Bocchi seemed to retreat into herself. “W-We…didn’t do good. I-I got mad, I said something really bad to someone. A-And, then everyone left, and the band was gone.”
“That’s what happened, wasn’t it?”
Nijika covered her mouth to smother a choked sob that had found its way out of her throat. In a flash, Seika's arms went around her shoulders. Seika turned to Bocchi, an indescribable look on her face. “H-How? How do you know?”
“M-My powers,” Bocchi looked as sick as Nijika felt. “I saw it a long time ago...A-And I thought it was a dream, but…”
“Y-Yeah,” Nijika choked out, wiping away the tears that were coming out. She took a deep breath, trying to speak past the lumps in her throat. “Yeah…That’s exactly what happened.”
Bocchi stood up from the table and made her way over to Nijika, pausing for a moment. Very hesitantly, she patted Nijika’s shoulder, watching her carefully. “I-I’m sorry for everything. This shouldn’t have happened.”
Nijika let out a sigh, looking down at her lap. She was right. It shouldn’t have happened. All it would have taken was one right move to save the band. She had been the leader of the band. It was all her responsibility to fix things, and yet…
“Nijika-chan…?”
Nijika looked up from her lap. Bocchi seemed to grow more concerned as the silence dragged onwards. From the corner of her eye, she could see Seika in a similar state of worry.
Forcing a small smile she didn’t feel, she spoke up again. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. Thank you for looking out for me though, it made me feel better.”
Oddly enough, she wasn’t lying about that. It seemed that for Bocchi, being a superhero did nothing to curb her empathetic attitude. If anything, it was like she was the exact same girl Nijika met in high school. It was both nostalgic and oddly comforting.
“Sorry about…all of this,” Nijika waved her hand in the air randomly. “You probably didn’t expect to see all of this when you came back home. This is probably really stressful for you.”
Seika nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Bocchi-chan, I know you said it didn’t matter, but what you saw earlier…Are you okay?”
Bocchi frowned, looking down at her feet. “I-I didn’t like seeing everyone like that…” She said, her hands gripping the sleeves of the tracksuit anxiously. “I-I even tried to find your Bocchi. I thought maybe she just hid away where no one could find her, and if I could bring her back, I could fix everything, but…” Bocchi took a deep breath, her frown worsening. “I couldn’t...”
“...Oh.” Seika looked absolutely crushed, looking on the verge of tears again. She might have actually cried had Bocchi not been in front of her. “...Thanks. For trying, I mean.”
Nijika felt a pit open up in her stomach. If this version of Bocchi can’t find… ’our’ Bocchi, does this mean that she’s actually…?
“But…” Bocchi muttered, standing up straighter. The way she spoke and stood caught both of the sisters' attention. “E-Even if she isn’t here, it’ll be okay. I can still make things better. I’ll make things right.”
“Bocchi-chan…?” Nijika said, confused and alarmed. Something in her words, the way she spoke was delivered with such a sense of certainty, that it made Nijika equal parts hopeful and scared.
“Nijika-chan, you’ve been hurting. Y-You deserve to have your dream come true. Everything should have gone right the first time, and I didn’t do anything to fix it…” Bocchi shook her head. “Enough is enough. Everything needs to be fixed, and it needs to be fixed now. That’s what I’m going to do.” There was a fierce glare on Bocchi that told her it wasn’t a promise, it was a certainty. “Nijika-chan…”
“...I’m bringing back the band.”
Nijika’s breath disappeared in an instant. She couldn’t believe what Bocchi was saying.
For so long, she had been looking for a band to achieve her dream. To make Starry special. A present to her sister, a present to her mother. Something that could even reach the skies. It was one of the things that had motivated her since she was a kid. Since Kessoku band broke up, she had been looking desperately for another band, another group of people who would achieve her dream. And now, Bocchi was going to bring back everyone? It should have been something that gave her hope.
So why did she feel nothing but fear and dread?
“Wait, wait!” Seika was the first to react, slamming her hands on the table. There was surprise clear on her face. “You…You really mean it? You’re going to try to bring the band back?”
Bocchi nodded, her eyes not losing any bit of their spark. “I am. I won’t let things stay like this anymore.”
“Hold on a second!” Nijika bolted up from the table. “How? I-It can’t be that easy!”
“I don’t care.” Bocchi’s words were delivered with finality. “I’ll bring everyone back, we’ll settle everything, and then…” She took a meaningful look at the stage, taking a deep breath. “And then we'll play again, right here.”
Nijika reeled back, before she clenched her fists. Anger laced her tone when she spoke. “I’m telling you we can’t just do that! We can’t just bring everyone back like that! Hell, I don’t even know where Kita and Ryo are! I can’t just call them and tell them to get over here!”
“You’re right. You don’t know where they are, and you can’t bring them here,” Bocchi matched Nijika’s glare with ease, not retreating in the face of her anger. “...But I can. I know where they are, so I’m bringing them back now.”
A pink glow enveloped Bocchi’s body, like a shroud. A subtle aura, but no less powerful for it. Seika yelped. Nijika panicked.
“...Please excuse me.” Bocchi apologized. Nijika rushed forward, arms outstretched to catch her.
“W-Wait!”
But it was too late. Nijika’s hands occupied the empty space where Bocchi was. She was going to bring Kita and Ryo back. She was going to have to face them again, after years and years of no communication.
Nijika felt sick.
“I’m home,” Kita said, taking off her shoes and walking into her home. The empty apartment didn’t reply, sans faint sounds of air blowing through the rooms, and the faint humming of the lights.
Today was so long… Kita thought, letting out a deep sigh. It wasn’t enough that she had been behind on her work, her boss was also in a horrible mood and took that out on everyone, looking for any excuse to yell at anyone he deemed underperforming. Had it not been for that, she would have been at home an hour earlier.
Her stomach rumbled, reminding her of something important. Ah, right, food. She probably shouldn’t starve herself. She walked over to her fridge, opened the door, and… there was hardly anything. Nothing that would constitute real food, anyway.
…I think I have to eat bentos from stores again. Kita sighed, tired of how often she had to do this.
Some days were better, some days were worse, but at some point, it had all started to blend together. Work all day, rest, shower, go to bed, repeat. Maybe it was a little naive to think, but surely there was bound to be more to her life then all of this, right? Things were bound to get better someday, right?
If she keeps repeating that, maybe she'll believe it one day.
Shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts, she prepared to go out. She picked up her keys, put on her shoes again, and stepped out of her apartment.
However, as soon as she locked the doors, something appeared in the very corner of her vision, catching her attention. Figuring it was nothing but one of her neighbors coming home late like her, she donned a fake smile as she turned to face the person and-
Kita choked.
She saw long pink hair, swishing from side to side as the person strode towards her. She saw a baggy pink tracksuit that was worn almost everywhere. She saw a distinct pink glow, eye-catching and unnatural. She saw blue eyes, attached to someone who looked to be a high-schooler. There was a familiar look in their eyes, one that spoke of determination, of hidden strength. It was a look that she had seen a scant few times, but one that had rendered her breathless without fail.
It was a look that could only ever belong to Hitori. The girl who was walking towards her. Words tumbled out of Kita’s mouth.
“H-Hitori…?”
The girl in front of her didn’t respond with words. That was never what she was good with. Instead, she started running.
“W-What are you-?!” Kita recoiled back as the girl suddenly embraced her, tackle-hugging her. She stumbled backward, but before the two of them could fall to the ground, there was a sudden feeling of vertigo and-
She found herself falling on a seat, feeling dizzy and odd. A distant part of her mind noted the oddly familiar place she was in now.
What the-?!
“K-Kita-chan,” Hitori said. Her voice was shaky, laced with so many emotions that Kita didn’t think she would figure out in a lifetime. “I-I’m sorry for the trouble, but I’ll explain everything soon, please wait for a moment.”
“Bocchi-chan, stop it now!” Kita flinched as she saw a familiar blond-haired woman rush towards Hitori. Kita flinched again when Hitori had vanished into nothing before the woman could get her.
W-Wait, this is…Starry. A-And the person over there is the manager, isn’t she? So this means…
“I-Ijichi-senpai…?” Kita whispered, almost afraid of her own words.
Nijika jumped, wiping away the frustration that had been on her face a moment ago. She stiffly turned to Kita, a million complicated emotions coming and going in an instant. “K-Kita…?”
Kita recoiled in her seat as much as she could, as if trying to get away from everything and everyone.
She didn’t get it! Was this some dream? Some twisted nightmare? It didn’t make sense, none of it did!
What’s going on?!
“Ryo-Onee-Sama, can I please have your autograph?!” The fangirl in front of Ryo asked, eyes bright with hope and anticipation.
Hmm. Guess she was pretty popular around Yokohama too. Strange, considering that she hadn’t played here for more than a week, but she wouldn’t do away with an opportunity to boost her ego.
Nodding, she took the poster the girl was offering, (A rock band Ryo liked too. Seems this girl has good taste.) and signed it in a flash, already used to the process. She prepared herself to endure the girl’s screech as soon as she gave it back, but all she did was jump in place, vibrating with energy.
Good reaction. She thought, already walking away. Without looking back, she walked away, waved goodbye and-
“Kyaaa!”
Ah, there it was. Ryo thought, a little annoyed that she had been duped by the fake signs. One would think Ryo would be getting better with this stuff, but even she wasn’t perfect. Oh well.
Taking a cigarette out of her pocket, she put her favorite brand into her mouth and pulled out her lighter. Within seconds, the cigarette was lit, and Ryo let herself indulge in the slight little humming in her head, walking down nearly empty streets, bass strapped to her back.
Honestly, she liked it here in Yokohama. The weather was nice, the fangirls were bearable most of the time, and she had good opportunities to play here. They had some pretty nice stuff here that really suited her interests too.
A shame that Ryo was going to leave it behind, like she always did.
One of the downsides of her style of life. Traveling around Japan, feeling the air on her face while she rode her motorcycle, seeing new sights all the time, wowing people with her skills, all of that was great. But never had she often stayed in one place long, and she did her best to not do repeat visits.
She had considered settling down, once or twice. It would be nice to have somewhere she could call home, and yes, it would probably be less trouble in the long run, but…
Ryo’s thoughts went to the distant past. She frowned.
It just wasn't a good idea.
Shaking her head, she made her way to the hotel room, ready to call it a day. That was, of course, before she felt eyes on her. She knew exactly what it was. A stalker. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, but it was pretty annoying every time it happened. Luckily for her, all it took was a glare, and the stalker would be sent scurrying back without fail.
Though this time, it seemed like her stalker was a bold one. She could already hear their footsteps coming closer.
Sighing again, she put on her fiercest glare as she suddenly stopped, turned on a dime, and-
“A-Ah, Ryo-san?” The girl with the pink tracksuit seemed more confused than scared. Ryo's cigarette fell from her mouth.
Ah, she understands. This must have been a Bocchi cosplayer. Who was cosplaying her high school outfit. And had the same hair, face, and voice. And was faintly glowing pink…
“...U-Um,” Bocchi(?) looked apprehensive, slowly approaching Ryo and putting a hand on her arm. As Ryo’s brain was still rebooting, she didn’t do anything to shake her hand off. “W-We have to go, okay?”
Ryo didn’t have a chance to answer maybe-Bocchi. Before she could fully regain her bearings, everything shifted for just a second and-
She stumbled back, finally distancing herself away from the familiar girl in front of her. It took her a moment to recover, but once she did, she leveled a glare at the girl. She opened her mouth, ready to say something scathing and-
“W-What?! Ryo-senpai?!”
She froze. Her eyes finally looked past the fake Bocchi, taking note of everything around her.
First, close to Bocchi, was Ikuyo. Clad in office attire, she looked scared, worried and confused, more akin to an animal that was about to bolt. Not too far away from everyone was Seika. She looked surprised and tense, although something about the way she looked at Ryo made her uncomfortable.
And then there was…
“Ryo…?” Nijika was Nijika. Even a thousand years from now, Ryo didn’t think she would ever forget her. Her hair wasn’t in a ponytail, she was taller and those red eyes that were locked onto Ryo were a bit duller, but it was undeniably her.
And with everyone else here, it must mean the Bocchi in front of her wasn’t some fake, or anything like that. She was the real deal, and somehow, she had brought Ryo here.
Ah, I get it. This is a dream.
In the awkward silence that everything was filled with, she pinched her arm, turning the skin a little bit to ensure her escape from this twisted dream.
It hurt. A lot.
…Shit.
Nijika didn’t know what to do, and it scared her.
Kita’s gaze swiveled everywhere frantically. From Bocchi, to Nijika, to Ryo, to Seika. A part of Nijika wanted to do her best to make Kita calm down, to tell her what’s going on, and to reassure her that nothing bad was happening. A larger part of Nijika was hesitant.
Ryo looked annoyed and tired, but not the slightest bit afraid. An odd reaction given that she had been basically abducted from who knows where, but even years later, Ryo would always be herself. It was simultaneously reassuring and painful.
“O-Okay…” Bocchi looked even more nervous now. Appropriate, given that she had kidnapped two people. “Everyone’s here now…”
Kita looked towards Bocchi, desperate for answers. She opened her mouth to say something before-
“Send me back.” Ryo stomped forward, getting close to Bocchi’s personal space. Bocchi didn’t look scared, which was a surprise, but it didn’t stop Ryo’s momentum at all. “Whatever you did, undo it.”
Nijika growled, feeling hurt and angry. “Wow, the first thing you say to any of us, and it’s to tell Bocchi-chan to take you home.” Nijika scoffed as she sat down. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
Ryo directed that glare towards Nijika, distracted from her stare down with Bocchi. “I’m not wasting my time here, so I’m going back. You shouldn’t care about what I do.”
“I don’t! I just-!
“Stop!” Kita finally rose from her seat, cutting through the tension that was filling in the air, and beating out Bocchi, who seemed primed to do the same. “Please tell me what’s going on. I-I don’t understand what’s happening!”
Bocchi looked apologetic, shrinking in on herself a bit. “S-Sorry Kita-chan, but I had to do this.”
Kita looked slightly taken aback, before donning a smile that was obviously fake. She still looked out of her element, but at least she was no longer on the verge of a panic attack. “U-Uh, okay? But, um, why?”
“This isn’t our Bocchi-chan.” Seika said, deciding to assist Bocchi. Her calm demeanor contrasted how riled up everyone was, and allowed her to take control of the situation with ease. “This version of her has superpowers, and came here from another world.”
Nijika watched as her former friends reacted differently. Kita looked utterly shocked, stumbling back in surprise. As for Ryo, she stared at Bocchi like she was an alien, before attempting to look unbothered, to no success.
“A-And, I brought you here because...” Bocchi took a deep breath, preparing to drop the bombshell of a topic. “I wanted to bring the band back.”
As expected, both of the two didn’t react well at all.
Kita froze for a moment, a deer in the headlights look about her. Soon enough, a weak smile appeared on her face. It said enough. It was a smile full of doubt, and sadness. It was clear a gentle refusal was at the tip of her tongue.
Ryo glared at Bocchi for a moment, before she took a deep breath. Now, there was pity on her face. It was a familiar expression. It was one of the last things Nijika saw from her before she left.
Nijika’s nails dug into her arm.
“Hitori-san?” Kita spoke up, tone a little halting and slow. “I...I do appreciate you thinking about us. And you probably have the best intentions, but…”
“She’s saying that’s impossible,” Ryo cut in, being as blunt as ever. “What happened between us is done. There’s no point in the band anymore. Ask Nijika about what happened, she’ll tell you-”
“I know what happened, I don’t care.” Bocchi cut off Ryo, stopping her before she could go on. Ryo seemed shocked by the uncharacteristic action. “I-I get what you’re thinking, but I think there’s a way to get the band together right now.”
“U-Um, and that is…?” Kita seemed to be dreading whatever Bocchi’s answer was.
Bocchi swallowed a lump in her throat before speaking again. “We’re all going to be playing up here, right now. I-It’ll be like an audition. You’ll all get a chance to remember what it’s like playing together again. A-And then things will be better, I promise.”
A silence went through Starry for a moment.
Nijika herself couldn’t believe it. It was so naive, so simple, that it defied comprehension. Did she think that this was all it would take? All of the time lost, all of the pain, all of that, solved by a concert being played with a band that hadn’t seen each other in years? The very idea was aggravating.
“That’s a horrible idea.” Ryo’s tone was as cold as the arctic. “Bocchi, you know it’s not that easy. Music can’t help everything.”
“I-I thought that too, when you suggested the concert in my world.” Bocchi countered. The casual mention of her other self caused Ryo to pause. “I thought it wouldn’t do anything, I thought it might make things worse…” She seemed to fidget a bit, uncomfortable with her words. “But, it made things better. A-And I think it could make things better here too.”
“...We’re not the same people. You know this.” Ryo looked away, easing up on Bocchi a bit. She looked slightly more tired, the conversation burning her out. “Just let it be.”
“I have to agree with Ryo-san.” Kita rose from her seat, looking away from Bocchi’s surprised gaze. “I haven’t even looked at a guitar for a while. And sometimes, I do miss playing with the band…” Kita shook her head, looking despondent. “But there’s no place for me here. I’m sorry.”
…I knew this wasn’t going to work. Nijika thought, eyes fixed towards the ground. She could hear Kita’s footsteps as she walked towards the main exit of Starry, marking this as the second time Kita was walking out of their lives. Bocchi had good intentions, but-
“Wha-?! Hitori?!”
Nijika jumped, startled by Kita's surprised yell.
She saw Bocchi standing in the path of the stairs, blocking Kita before she could make her way. That odd pink light of her glowed while she stared at Kita, eyes utterly unwavering. In a flash, she had moved in front of Kita before anyone could even react.
“I-I’m sorry, but I can’t let you leave, Kita-chan,” Bocchi stood strong and resolved as she stared Kita down. “Not until the band gets back together.”
Kita gaped at Bocchi for just a moment. Then, she rallied, putting a little heat in her voice. “We can’t, Hitori! If you know what happened, then you should know more than anyone else that the right choice is to let us be! Our Hitori isn’t even here to play with us, and I bet she never wants to see any of us again, so we can’t get back together!
“Yes we can!” Bocchi raised her voice, matching Kita’s volume with ease. “I know what happened was horrible, I know that! It was bad, it hurt people, it hurt you, and that’s unacceptable. But there’s still a chance. Please…”
“We can still fix it.”
For some reason, those words echoed in Nijika’s mind. She turned over those words over and over again, as if she could dissect another meaning from what Bocchi had said. There was a distant ringing in Nijika’s ears.
“Fix it…?” Nijika stood up from her chair, feeling disconnected from her body. “Fix it? Fix it?!”
“N-Nijika-?!”
“No!” Nijika stomped forward towards Bocchi, nearly bowling over Kita who had scrambled out of Nijika’s path. There was a snarl present on her face that was directed towards the stunned girl who was once a friend. “The last time you 'fixed' things, you just screwed everything up! How are you going to make things worse this time, huh?!”
“Nijika, stop it now!” Seika tried to interject, but Nijika didn’t listen.
“I-I-” Bocchi couldn’t respond in time.
“Something that you don’t get is that it’s too late! For any of us!” Nijika waved her hand in the air widely. “As far as I’m concerned, these two are strangers! I haven’t seen them in years! We can’t just drop everything because you say so!”
“I-Ijichi-san, you’re going too far!”
“Nijika, don’t.”
“Our Bocchi is dead.” Nijika spat out, bitter tears burning her eyes. Had she been more aware, she would have heard Seika’s hurt gasp, seen Kita’s horrified expression, or listened to the quiet, “What…?” that came from Ryo. Yet, all she could focus on was the girl who had taken the place of her friend. “You can just go back home and play with your band, but we can’t! We can’t make music the same way we always did! We’re done! It’s too late for us! You don’t know how it feels to have everything taken away from you! You don’t know what it’s like to worry about letting everyone down! You don’t know-!”
“Yes I do!”
Nijika flinched as Bocchi shrieked at the top of her lungs. Her pink light flared to impossibly bright levels, making it hurt to even look her way for a moment. Only when the spots in her eyes disappeared could she look at Bocchi again.
Nijika's heart broke.
Tears were running out of Bocchi’s eyes in droves, falling off her cheeks. The pink light perfectly showcased that look of sadness, hurt and guilt for everyone to see. Anyone would expect anger from a yell like that, but here, she just looked so small and worn down.
She almost looked broken.
Oh god, I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve any of that. I didn't mean it. You're a good friend. Please stop crying. All things Nijika wanted to say, but couldn't. Not for fear of making it worse.
"Hitori…?" Kita had murmured from next to her. She sounded so concerned and worried that it seemed like she was seconds away from comforting Bocchi, despite any potential bad blood.
Even standing aside from everyone, Ryo couldn't mask that quick look of concern and uncertainty from Nijika.
"Kid…" Seika murmured, putting her hand over her mouth. She seemed to be about to bolt to Bocchi and hug her.
“...I do.” Bocchi’s voice was shaky, holding none of the boldness that it had just possessed. “W-When I got my powers, I was taken away from everyone for twenty-nine years.” Bocchi wiped away some of her tears with her sleeves. “I-I was in another world. One without anyone I knew.”
“I-I, Bocc-”
"I-I looked for a way back everyday.” Bocchi cut off Nijika, stuck in her own world. She put her arms around herself. “I-I was really scared. I thought I wouldn’t see anyone ever again. I thought that everyone would have moved on. A-And even if I did find them, the people I saved in that world would hate me forever if I left. I couldn’t be selfish…”
Everyone was too enraptured to even breathe.
“It would have been easier to give up.” There was a tired expression on Bocchi’s face as she looked to her side. “I-It could have been a lost cause. Maybe it would have been a waste of time…”
Then, she straightened up, energy filling her frame. Her tears were still hitting the floor, but there was a firmness in her words now.
“B-But I didn’t. It took me so long, but I found them, you.” Bocchi looked at Nijika, nothing but compassion directed her way even through puffy eyes. “I-I was worried everything would be different, but it wasn’t. I played the songs I loved with everyone, I talked to people I missed, and I got back what I lost after almost thirty years.”
Nijika was speechless as Bocchi swallowed a lump in her throat and turned off her light. She looked like a normal girl again.
“I-If I gave up, I wouldn’t be able to see everyone, play music with them, or have fun by their side.” Bocchi looked deep into Nijika’s eyes as if to drive the message in. “Please. Don’t give up. There’s always a chance.”
While Nijika was left reeling, Bocchi then turned to Kita. She froze as Bocchi approached her, but didn’t try to run away.
“Kita-chan.” This time, Bocchi took Kita’s hand, squeezing gently. “Please. Play with us here. I-I don’t know what’s happened to you, but you look like you’re hurting.”
Kita’s mouth gaped, opening and closing quickly. Soon enough, she spoke up again.” I-I, you don’t need me. Any other person would do. I would just-”
“No,” Bocchi squeezed her hand again. “It can only be you. You’re the only one who could be the vocalist of Kessoku Band. I-It can’t be anyone else.”
Tears were building up in the corner of Kita’s eyes. No one commented on it.
“Ryo-san.” Bocchi finally turned to Ryo, who looked out of her element, overwhelmed by everything she had heard. “M-Maybe Nijika-chan is right, and things won’t be the same, but that isn’t a bad thing.” Bocchi slowly approached Ryo as she spoke. “We can all still have fun playing music, being a band. I-It’s probably going to be different, but it’s still worth something.”
Ryo looked at Bocchi as if she was seeing her for the first time.
“Everyone, Please. Even just one song. Just try.” Bocchi, finally running out of steam, bowed deeply. “Please.”
Silence. No one seemed primed to act, to speak. Time dragged its feet, stretching the moment to unbearable levels. Before…
“I-I, I’ll try. Just one song.” Kita raised her hand, not able to face Hitori. Nijika suddenly felt breathless.
“...Fine.” Ryo forced out her agreement, taking out a cigarette to smoke. Nijika and Seika were too stunned to stop her. “When we’re done, take me back.”
“Th-Thank you very much!” Bocchi looked utterly ecstatic. Then she paused and looked at Nijika worriedly.
“I-I…” Nijika could hardly get her words out. Was she really about to play with everyone again? Would she have to deal with the pain of seeing her band leaving again? Was she really willing to risk it all?
Bocch's words echoed through her mind. Nijika’s mouth opened before she had a say in it.
“O-Okay.” Nijika stammered. Once again, Bocchi looked happy, but Nijika cut her off before she thanked her. ”But wait, hold on. How are we going to do this? I mean, we don’t have our songs, Kita doesn’t even have a guitar and-”
“Eep!” Kita squeaked as an exact replica of her high-school guitar popped in front of her face, hovering gently. After looking at it like it was a gun, she gingerly took the guitar from the air, and smiled awkwardly at Bocchi. “U-Um, thank you?”
“A-And I have a song right here,” Suddenly, Bocchi had a stack of papers in her hand. Nijika had questions, but before she could ask them, Bocchi looked toward Seika. “M-Manager. Is it okay if we practice here for a bit? J-Just before we play on stage?”
Seika looked as if she couldn’t believe what was happening. However, she firmed up, and nodded towards Bocchi, looking hopeful. “Okay. I’ll be waiting then, got it?”
“Y-Yeah.” Bocchi nodded back. Shyly, she turned to Nijika, meekly asking her a question.”S-Should we get to practice now?”
"...Yeah," Nijika said, the finality of her words being the last step that was needed for them to move forward. "Let's go."
Here they all were. Kessoku Band, practicing a song like they had a long time ago. Nijika still felt worried. Even with everything Bocchi said, everything she had gone through, will this really do anything?
…I hope things won't turn out worse.