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Humphrey didn’t know where he was that morning. All he knew was it was dark, dusty and possibly damp. He could vaguely make out the shape of a few crumbs in front of him, and the light from behind him reflected off of a few other things in front of him. Wherever he was, he wanted to get out.
The problem now was he had no idea what time of day it was. The light from behind him could have either been a ceiling light or sunlight streaming in from a window. He heard people talking too. Though, he couldn’t tell if it was in conversation or argument. Either way, he could have tried to get their attention by yelling, but he had tried that earlier. It didn’t work, nothing new there. Humphrey figured the others either were too far to hear him or didn’t care.
For the sake of his own feelings, he tried to believe the latter.
Humphrey was just about to settle for closing his eyes and forcing himself to go to sleep. Then he heard someone muttering nearby.
“H- Hello? Hello! Anyone? Someone! Help!” he called out.
“For crying out loud, who is yelling at this time of day?” came a reply.
Humphrey could recognise that voice and tone anywhere. No one else would respond to someone calling for help with annoyance but Lady Fanny Button. She was a strict woman, surely. And she could be a stick in the mud at most times. But she could be a great person when you get to know her. Really, she just wanted someone to talk to. Humphrey could relate to that. He heard Fanny sigh as she walked into the room.
“Oh, come now, this better not be one of your pranks, Robin,” she said.
“No! It’s me! Humphrey! Help me!”
The light behind Humphrey had dimmed slightly now, indicating to him that Fanny had floated into the room and was possibly right behind him.
“Humphrey? Where are you? I don’t see you.”
“I’m here! Don’t know where ‘here’ is exactly, but here!” he exclaimed.
There was a brief bout of silence. The light behind Humphrey got brighter once again and he heard a faint whooshing go from behind to beside him. The head tried his best to peek at what it was out of his peripheral vision. He couldn’t make out much, but he thought he saw the vague outline of grey fabric. Next thing he knew, he was being gently lifted up.
“Tsk. How did you get under there, Humphrey?” Fanny tutted.
She handled him carefully and gingerly. He saw what he was under, finally. Fanny’s bed. He had no recollection of how he’d gotten there. Though he did remember agreeing to one of Thomas’s little ideas. Thomas must have forgotten about him, and Humphrey must have fallen asleep. Just a usual day in Humphrey’s afterlife, really. Fanny slowly turned him around so he could face her.
“Well, uh, would you like me to set you down somewhere?” she asked.
“Uhm… I don’t know. Is there a table or a… window somewhere?”
Fanny tutted again and looked around, her eyebrows knitted together. After a bit, Humphrey felt himself being moved, and then placed down next to the bed.
“The dresser should be fine for now, I hope,” Fanny said, pursing her lips.
“You… don’t mind me being in here? I mean, it is your room, after all.”
“Mmm, no, it’s fine. At least you’ve got some sense. Aside from when you’re screaming and yelling at 1pm in the afternoon, that is.”
1pm? That’s a time that she deemed inappropriate to make noise? Was there a single time of day that she didn’t find a time where people were to be quiet? Humphrey was certain at this point that she simply hated loud noises in general. But who was he to judge?
“Well, thank you, Fanny. I was down there for quite a long time,” Humphrey said as Fanny went to sat on the bed. “Everything, uhm- Everything all set around the house, I hope?”
If Humphrey still had his hands, he would have slapped himself in the forehead then. “Everything all set”? Really? Sure, he was never good at small talk but was that really the best he could do? Lucky for him, Fanny didn’t seem to mind. Or at least, she spared him the embarrassment with just another bitter stare and a sigh.
“Nothing is ever set in this house anymore, Humphrey. I say, if my husband were to see the state of this house now! Well, actually, I doubt he would have minded considering his lifestyle but- but you see what I mean, don’t you?” she immediately launched into complaining.
“Yeah, well, I guess I can see where you’re coming from, Fanny. But, eh, times have changed, you know? Besides, everyone’s just having a bit of fun! It’s hurting no one, really.” Humphrey replied, regretting his words just as they left his mouth.
He watched Fanny’s jaw drop. Somehow, her frown managed to deepen and her lips became even more of a straight line. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack.
“ Oh boy, here it comes,” Humphrey thought to himself.
“Hurting no one? Hurting no one ? Well, I say, Humphrey! I say ! I hardly can blame you for not understanding since you’re always lucky enough to be away from those… those cretins but the state of this house! It’s dirty! It’s falling apart! There’s parties almost every other fortnight and they’re dancing and prancing about like some– some– well, I forget the words but you get it!” she yelled in what seemed like one breath.
“Yeah, well, like I said— times have changed. A party doesn’t sound too bad to me either, actually. It’s been a while for me, heh.”
It seemed Humphrey’s attempt at lightening the mood did not help. He really wished he was back under the bed now.
“Well– yes, but– but the disrepute! It’s barbaric! It’s– It’s–”
“I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal for you, Fanny. We’re dead. We might as well have some fun with it. And the living might as well have some fun while they’re alive, right?” Humphrey said. “I mean, you said it yourself. Your husband, George, right? You said he wouldn’t care even then. It’s been decades, Fanny. So why do you still care?”
Fanny frowned again. Her gaze now pointed down towards the hem of her gown. She seemed to be thinking. Humphrey thought he’d take that time to speak up again, but her head shot straight up and he saw nothing but bitterness and anger in her eyes.
“George Button was a low-life, lying, buffoon . I mean, I do everything for him. I make sure the servants get his food ready on time. I make sure the house is cleaned up nicely every Wednesday and Sunday. I even made the effort to bring him tea to his office, Humphrey! Me! Turned into nothing but a- a glorified version of a servant! And what did I get in return? Nothing! Not a single thing!” she yelled.
Humphrey was lost for words. This was exactly what he meant by she just needed someone to talk to. One small conversation and here she was spilling her guts out. She needed it, definitely. And Humphrey was always happy to listen. Though, it did get tiring after a while. He had marriage issues too, after all. And yet no one ever wanted to listen to him talk about it.
Though, he supposed that wasn’t important at that point in time. Fanny continued talking.
“I never wanted to get married, you know. I could have done something more useful, with someone more useful! But no! Life never goes your way, now, does it? Because why would it? So instead I was stuck. Trapped with this- this idiot who couldn’t even give me something good to do! Who- who treated me like I was just another hire in his gaudy little mansion. Well, I’ve had it. All I ask is to be useful like I know I can be. For someone to actually appreciate that! Does anyone do that? No! I’m just the Grey Lady. The Wet Blanket. It’s all rather tiring , Humphrey.”
Humphrey was silent again. Fanny was panting after her monologue. She did look better though. Like her lungs had been released slightly.
Humphrey settled on saying, “I… I’m sorry about all that, Fanny. I really am.”
“...You’re sorry? For me?”
Silence fell again. Humphrey couldn’t read Fanny’s expression this time, but expected another long outburst. Instead, she surprised him and laughed .
“Oh, please, Humphrey! ‘Sorry’, well, what’s that going to do? I’m dead! I’m dead and I died as a result of a marriage I never wanted in the first place and that’s that. It’s not your fault. It’s certainly someone’s but not yours, no.”
“Well, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just… sorry you went through that. No one deserves that. No one.”
Fanny’s eyes widened, and the thin line of her lips opened to form a small O. She blubbered for a bit, her hands grasping at air, unsure of what to do. Humphrey simply looked at it, putting on what he hoped was a gentle and caring expression. Fanny settled on folding her arms together and falling back to that deep frown.
“Well. Quite right,” she said flatly. “...Thank you, I suppose.”
“It’s nothing, really. I get what you feel.”
“Do you now?” Fanny asked, an eyebrow raised and her tone somewhat doubtful.
“Yes, I do, in fact. I know what it’s like to be… promised something. And when you get what’s supposed to give you that, you don’t get what you were promised,” he said, focused on Fanny’s expression. “...right?”
All Fanny said was, “Hm.”
“It happened in my marriage too. I was promised this specific type of love my entire life. I kept being told that once I found that love, everything would just fall neatly into place. I kept being told that someone would find that love for me. Then I’d get married, get more money, get kids and all that and… well, I guess everyone just made it seem like it was supposed to make me happy.”
Humphrey paused. Fanny wasn’t looking at him anymore. Instead, she was looking out the window. She had a pensive look on her face. Her pale grey eyes almost seemed to tear.
“Carry on, Humphrey,” she said after his pause went on for a bit too long.
“Well, uhm. Where was I? Oh right, all that was supposed to make me happy. All that love and marriage. At least, that’s what I was promised. But, well,” he sighed. “It didn’t. Neither Sophie nor I was truly happy. I tried to love her. I really did. And I think… maybe to some extent I did. I cared for her, at least. But it wasn’t love , you know? Not the one that everyone said I would feel. And I like to think that… that she loved me too. To some extent. But just like me, it just wasn’t that love we were both promised.”
Humphrey caught a tear fall from Fanny’s eye.
“I just… I wish I could have gotten that love. But I didn’t. I didn’t get what I was promised at all, and now, I probably never will. It sucks, really. I wasn’t stuck in an exactly loveless marriage. But it wasn’t full of love either. It just… I don’t know, maybe I sound silly and I completely misunderstood you. But I think I get what you mean. I think I get how you feel.”
Silence again. Humphrey looked at Fanny again. She was crying now, her cheeks wet. Humphrey felt his own eyes begin to brim with tears.
“No, I think you’ve understood me quite well, actually. That… That is what my marriage with George felt like.”
Humphrey raised his eyebrows.
“It wasn’t… loveless. Not exactly. I think George carried some fondness for me. Enough to joke about, at least. But… well, we both know how it ended.”
“I’m sorry, Fanny. I really am.”
Fanny opened her mouth to speak again.
“Don’t tell me it’s not my fault. You know what I meant.”
She pursed her lips and frowned. Then she sighed and let her hands fall next to her.
“Thank you, Humphrey. I’m sorry too. For your…” she began before trailing off.
“Yeah. So am I. Thanks.”
Fanny smiled. It was small but genuine. Sweet, even. Humphrey didn’t think he’d ever seen her smile like that. He returned it with his own little grin.
After a moment’s silence, Fanny patted her lap and got up. She moved towards Humphrey.
“Is it alright if I moved you? I’d like to be alone now.”
“Yeah, alright. Just put me somewhere nice, please,” Humphrey replied.
“Tsk. Of course I will. I’m not an animal.”
She settled for placing him on a small table in the hallway. It was nice and breezy, at least, and Humphrey could see through a window in one of the rooms. Definitely a nicer place to be set. The quiet helped too. Especially after the little talk the two had had.
It was like Humphrey had said, really. Fanny wasn’t so bad when you got to know her.