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“Maddie, can I talk to you?” Liv asks nervously as she enters their shared bedroom. Her palms are sweaty and she’s fidgeting with her fingers. Maddie looks up from whatever book she’s reading for class.
“Yeah, sure, Liv. What’s up?” she asks and she sounds so comforting that Liv almost breaks out into sobs right then and there.
Luckily, she doesn’t, and sits down on her bed. She still hasn’t looked at Maddie properly since speaking up, preferring to stare at her hands in her lap.
“I have a crush,” she says, and she just knows Maddie is making a confused face because she has had crushes before and they have never made her this nervous or upset. But this one is different. This crush made her completely reevaluate her entire life and everything she’s known about herself and it is — to put it lightly — fucking terrifying.
Liv’s suspicions are confirmed (not that they needed to be confirmed. They are twins, after all. They have a special bond.) when Maddie speaks again.
“You’ve had a thousand crushes before and they’ve never made you this upset.” She doesn’t sound judgemental, just confused.
“I know, but this—” Liv breaks off. She feels a sob in her throat and chokes it back down.
Maddie, now thoroughly, extremely concerned, gets off her bed and sits next to Liv. She takes her hand in hers and caresses it with her fingers. Despite barely touching, Liv practically melts into her. She doesn’t even realize she’s started crying until she feels a teardrop fall onto her leg and sees it darken her tights. She finally looks up and her view of Maddie is slightly obscured by the tears in her eyes.
“This one’s different,” she says. She opens her mouth to continue, but the words freeze in her throat. Instead, she closes her mouth and falls into Maddie, her body shaking with sobs. Maddie lets go of her hand and wraps her arms around her, rubbing her back.
“What makes this one different?”
There’s a pause where Liv figures out what to say.
“It’s on a girl,” she finally squeaks out.
Maddie, much to her credit, only freezes for half a second from shock before her comfort continues.
“So you thought you had yourself figured out — or at least this aspect of yourself — but this crush has made you realize new things about yourself. Now you’ve had to reevaluate everything since your sexuality is such a big part of your identity. On top of that, you’ve had to juggle what seem to be pretty intense feelings for someone and you have no idea if she even likes girls, let alone returns your feelings,” Maddie concludes. Liv nods fervently and burrows herself deeper into her twin.
Her tears have probably soaked through Maddie’s shirt, but she can’t bring herself to care.
“I don’t know what to do, Mads,” she says, her words coming out muffled.
“Let me help you with what you need right now, and then we can figure out where to go from there,” Maddie says. “Do you need me to help you figure out your identity? Do you need me to give you advice on what to do with your crush? Do you need me to just sit here and comfort you? Something else?”
Liv pulls away and wipes at her eyes, thankful that she used waterproof mascara this morning.
“I’m supposed to be the one giving you love advice,” Liv jokes wetly. Maddie grins.
“Who’s the lucky girl?”
Liv smiles and blushes and starts playing with her hands again. Then she looks back up at Maddie shyly and says, “It’s Andie.”
Maddie’s grin widens and Liv knows what’s coming.
“ Ooooh! ” Maddie sing-songs in a high-pitched voice. “Livvie’s got a giiiiirlfriend !”
“She’s not my girlfriend. Yet,” Liv replies matter-of-factly. “I don’t even know if she’s into girls.”
“Okay, Liv. I can tell you the second I met Andie, my gaydar went off like a metal detector in a jewelry store. She is gay . Welding obsession aside, have you even noticed her fashion choices? Like, come on.”
Liv’s expression changes to one of deep thought. “Yeah, I guess the whole ‘going to prom with Holden’ thing did catch me way off-guard. Like. Way . Off-guard. Like how when you got with Diggie and everyone was like, ‘ Whaaaat??? You have a boy friend???’ because let’s be real: everyone knew you were gonna be the gay one. I guess we’re both the gay one, though. Gay two.” Maddie rolls her eyes and Liv continues, “What do I do?”
“Just ask her out! Do what you always tell me to do and ‘seize the moment’. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Liv pretends to think. “Hmmm…She could end up being straight and homophobic and then be disgusted and never want to be around me again because she’ll hate me and think I’m going to come onto her? Or she could also be gay but then just not like me and then things will be so awkward between us and I won’t be able to stand it because I’ll be too heartbroken and then I’ll be even more heartbroken because I lost a friend, too? I don’t know which one is worse, to be honest.”
Maddie’s eyebrows are raised up to her hairline and her mouth is slightly open in a “what is wrong with this girl?” type of way. Liv thinks that perhaps she may have gone a bit overboard with the overthinking, but that’s just what overthinking is, right? Overboard thinking?
“Oookayyy, well that is definitely not going to happen because one, even if she was straight (although I will say that my gaydar has never been wrong), she would never be disgusted and hate you because of your sexuality. After all, she knows I’m a lesbian and has never hated me for that. Two, she’s definitely into you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She either looks at you like you hung the moon or like she wants to push you up against the wall and make out with you. Or both. The other day I saw her staring at your ass as you left your locker to go to class.”
Liv’s face is absolutely burning at this point, and she knows that if she peered into her mirror she would resemble a tomato. She won’t deny that she feels much better, though, from the initial comfort to the encouragement about Andie.
“Thanks for the pep talk. I really appreciate it,” she says. “I think I’m going to ask her out tomorrow.”
“Really?” Maddie beams at her and Liv nods. “Livvie’s got a giiiiiirrrrrlllfriiieeend !”
“I can’t even be mad at you for that right now,” Liv replies through her laughs.
The next day, Liv sees Andie by her lockers.
“Hey, Liv!” Andie greets cheerfully, and Liv can’t help the way her stomach flutters and a smile instantly creeps onto her face.
“Hey, Ands! How’s the bejeweled welding mask been holding up?” she asks, successfully opening her locker in one try despite her shaking hands.
“It’s been amazing! Thank you so much, Liv. I really appreciate it.”
Liv giggles nervously and plays with her hair. “Well, I am so glad! Hey, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come over later tonight? I was thinking we could watch a movie,” cuddle, “paint our nails,” make out, “just have a girls’ night. Give you a break from your testosterone-filled house.”
“That would be awesome. I’ll be over around six?”
“Perfect! That’s perfect! See you then!” And before she can stop herself, Liv punches Andie playfully on the shoulder. Liv decides she would much rather be a puddle on the floor as she watches Andie turn the corner.
“What was that?” a teasing voice says behind her, and Liv jumps almost a foot in the air before turning around and seeing her sister there. Maddie is leaning against the lockers, looking very amused with a smirk on her face.
“Shut up,” Liv says, but she watches Maddie’s eyebrows raise in mirth as she brings the fist she punched Andie with up to her lips.
Liv is, predictably, extremely fidgety the rest of the day. When six o’clock finally rolls around, it has felt like the four hours since she invited Andie over were actually thirteen hours. She’s sitting on the couch, tapping her knees with her hands, when the doorbell rings. She shoots up and practically sprints to the door.
“Hi, Andie!” she says cheerfully. “I can’t wait to start our girls’ night! I already have the movie queued up. Is Mamma Mia! okay with you?”
“Hey, Liv. Anything is fine with me! I’m just excited to spend time with you and get away from my brothers,” Andie replies, and Liv almost melts. “I’ve never seen Mamma Mia! though. Is it good?”
Liv gasps and says, “ How have you never seen Mamma Mia! ? It is literally one of my favorite movies of all time! We are definitely watching it now.”
With pink cheeks, Liv steps aside so Andie can come in and then leads them over to the couch. She sits next to Andie so that they aren’t too close but are still close enough so that Liv is momentarily content. If she periodically scoots over until they are flush against each other, who cares? She just makes sure to disguise her scoots as her reaching for a bite of popcorn or a sip of her drink that she always happens to leave at an awkward angle. Liv even gathers up the courage to rest her head on Andie’s shoulder, and when Andie wraps her arm around Liv’s shoulders soon after, Liv forgets how to breathe.
“That was a good movie. I can see why you like it so much.”
“It’s one of my favorites,” Liv says. Before she can stop herself, she adds, “And Amanda Seyfried is so hot.”
“Yeah she is! You know, you look like you could be related to her.”
“Do I?”
“Mhm.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Liv answers happily. She turns to look up at Andie, only to find Andie already looking at her. They stare at each other for a moment, and Liv hopes Andie doesn’t notice the way her eyes flick down to her lips for a split second before asking, “Do you wanna go up to my room now?”
“Yeah, that—” Andie clears her throat, “that’d be great.”
Liv shuts the door behind them and Andie starts to ask a question — “So what do you want to d—” but Liv interrupts her by cupping her face and pressing their lips together. There’s only a split-second of shocked hesitation before Andie kisses back and places her hands on Liv’s waist.
When they eventually pull apart for air, Liv says in a low, breathy tone, “Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”
“Don’t apologize,” Andie says. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while, too.”
They are staring at each other’s lips when they lean back in again. This kiss is more heated, and Andie turns them around and walks them until the backs of Liv’s knees hit her bed. They fall onto it, and Liv’s legs wrap around Andie’s waist, pulling her closer. Liv’s arms are over Andie’s shoulders now, playing with her hair. Andie trails kisses from Liv’s lips to her jaw to her neck before pausing and sucking at a spot at the crook of her neck. Liv lets out a low moan, which causes Andie to nip lightly before trailing kisses back up to her lips. Liv rolls her hips up and takes the gasp that Andie lets out as an opportunity to slip her tongue inside her mouth.
The bedroom door opens then and Maddie lets out a shocked, “Oh, wow !” as Liv lets out a shriek and pushes Andie off of her.
“Heeeey, Maddie…” Liv squeaks nervously. She grabs the end of her hair and starts twirling it. She glances at Andie out of the corner of her eye and sees that she looks shocked, flustered, and not at all put together. Liv knows she doesn’t look any better.
“So I can see this worked out,” Maddie says, and Liv nods awkwardly. “I’m just going to sleep on the couch. If you guys decide to do any more funny business, just please lock the door. Nice hickey, by the way, Liv.”