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Haru flicked off the video game they had been playing the last few hours and went to flop down on Makoto's bed, where Makoto had already laid back and was taking his glasses off to set them on the night stand. Once Haru was settled next to him Makoto looked over, observing him in his baggy borrowed pajamas.
"Hey, Haru, you wear this shirt a lot when you stay over," Haru's eyes jumped to where Makoto's fingers lightly brushed the skin of his stomach while grabbing the hem of the shirt he was wearing. Haru felt a small shiver crawl up his spine from the brief contact. "Do you like it or something?"
After some more prodding and some outright ridiculous puppy eyes, Haru reluctantly admitted he did like to wear the big orange and white shirt.
"It…reminds me that you're safe, and to make sure it stays that way." He thought back to when Makoto almost drowned while trying to save Rei, but tried not to say something that would make it more blatantly apparent that it was the main reason he wears the shirt. The shirt reminds him that Makoto came back, and that always will so long can Haru protect him. "It's also all soft and loose…"
"Haru!" The next thing he knew, Makoto had somehow managed to grab him into a tight hug while still lying down. Of course, Makoto must have been able to tell Haru was more emotional about it than he let on.
"I'm so sorry. I remember exactly how that feels… when you almost drowned in the river when we were younger I… I don't ever want you to feel like that! I was being reckless. I'm sorry, I just went on impulse, I couldn't do nothing… but I should've called for you or…" Haru was blushing like mad at this point, his face having been shoved into Makoto's neck via the strong arms wrapped around his shoulders (plus, admittedly, the thick thigh between his legs was possibly even more distracting). "I am just really sorry... Though I have to admit I'm kinda happy you wear this for a reason like that. It makes me realize that Haru-chan cares about me almost as much as I care about him."
Haru was quiet for a moment, but nuzzled his face further into Makoto's neck to hide how emotional he was. He grabbed fistfuls of the shirt at Makoto's shoulders.
"How do you know I'm not the one who cares about you more?" He mumbled into Makoto, who chuckled.
"Because that's impossible! I care about you way too much for there to be a 'more'…" The sentence had sounded so sincere by the end that they were both quiet for a moment after.
They silently listened to each other's breathing.
"Haru? Is it…" For some reason Makoto's soft tone and hesitance made Haru's heart pick up it's pace. "Is it alright if we sleep like this?"
The request was quiet and shy, as he squeezed Haru tightly with the arms still wrapped around him.
Haru's answer was to throw his leg over Makoto's hip, his calf resting on Makoto's thigh.
Haru felt Makoto's chest stop moving.
"Haru."
A large hand went into Haru's hair and held his head tighter to his chest. Haru wrapped his arms further around the broad, warm back and pressed his palms flat against it to feel the small movements of muscle beneath skin as he breathed.
Yet, suddenly, Makoto released Haru.
He started to get up, saying, "Ah. Maybe we'd better not after all! I mean what if we're like that in the morning and one of my family members decides to come in or-"
Haru could sense Makoto's discomfort and watched him face away standing up and rubbing the back of his head--a nervous tick of his.
"You find it gross." It was more of a statement than a question when Haru cut him off, thinking that that must be it. Makoto had to know that Haru wasn't simply thinking platonic things. I mean, that leg over his hip was 'friendly' in an entirely different way, and Makoto definitely wasn't actually worried about his family, who were quite used to their closeness and would probably just try to join their cuddle pile.
Makoto turned around quickly looking worried; he could hear the small hint of hurt in Haru's voice.
"What! Hugging you like that? Of course I don-"
"No. ...Because you know." Haru asserted quietly, now sitting up on the bed, looking down at his lap.
"…Huh? Know what?"
His throat tightened when he thought about answering that. Instead, he got up and went to the closet looking for the extra futon.
"Haru-chan?" Makoto hovered a few feet behind Haru, his eyebrows crinkled in worry. "What is it?"
Haru ignored the question and continued pulling the futon out onto Makoto's floor.
"Will it be okay if I stay over if I sleep here?" Haru asked without looking up, yanking out some blankets that tumbled to the floor.
"What? Obviously you can still stay over! Haru, what's going on?"
He picked of the heap of blankets and began spreading them out.
"Haru!" He didn't look up, even as Makoto began sounding more desperate. "…Hey. Haru. Haru, stop!"
Makoto grabbed his wrist and spun him around to take ahold of his shoulders.
"Haru! Don't shut me out. Please tell me what's going on, I can't always tell."
Blue eyes stared intently at the ground, wondering if the green ones boring into him really couldn't see.
"Did I hurt your feelings earlier? Is that it?"
Haru didn't respond. The hands dropped from his shoulders.
"I'm sorry. I know we've always been comfortable with being close, and I was happy with being extra close like that but…" Haru looked up from beneath his fringe to find Makoto's light pink face turned away, but he could still see the sad shimmer in his eye. "But that's the problem. I was... too happy. Too happy to be holding you like that…"
As Makoto trailed off, Haru started to process what that could mean and his heart stuttered in his chest, a warm feeling prickling under his skin.
Makoto dropped his head into a hand as he continued, sounding miserable, "You're definitely the one who thinks it's gross now, right?"
Haru watched Makoto's shoulders draw up toward his ears; a sign that he was on the verge of tears.
"Idiot!" He snatched a pillow up and abruptly whacked Makoto on the head it with it. He blinked up at Haru with wide, slightly watery eyes.
Haru turned red and dropped his face onto Makoto's chest. After a few moments where neither of them moved, Makoto finally spoke.
"Um…Haru? Did you understand what I meant just now?"
"I hope so," He felt Makoto's chest halt under his forehead for the second time that night. "But…it probably wouldn't hurt if you were clear about it…"
Haru lifted his face a bit to peer at Makoto's reaction from under his lashes. His eyes were even wider than earlier and his face was the color of a tomato, but, after his brief moment of shock, he used a finger to tilt Haru's chin up so they could clearly see each other's faces.
They stare for a moment, feeling the world grow quiet around them.
"Haru…when I said earlier that there's no way you care about me more than I care about you, I meant it." Haru refused to blink, not wanting to miss a second of the beautiful expression Makoto was wearing. "Because… I love you. I-I'm in love with you. Very, very ridiculously in love. I know that I always want to be by your side, in every way you'll let me. Should…should I be sorry for that…?"
Haru's eyes stung and his lips trembled. He couldn't believe the words he had just heard--they were better than he had (admittedly) dreamed about. They were so cheesy, and romantic, and sincere, and so…Makoto.
He shook his head quickly.
"I…love you."
Haru was surprised he was able to get it out without his voice cracking. But his tears trickled out when he saw Makoto's face so full of unbounded joy and love like he'd never seen on him before. It made his chest fill with heat, like a gentle pulsating star had made itself at home there.
Makoto grabbed Haru's right hand with both of his and kissed his knuckles reverently.
"I can't believe it…you-you really mean it."
He pressed Haru's palm to his own face and exhaled shakily. A tear trailed down his cheek when he closed his eyes in a soft yet radiant smile. Haru wiped the tear away with his free hand.
"Why are we crying?" A soft smile came to Makoto's face as he spoke, and he laughed lightly. "I've never cried from happiness before. But, I've also never been this happy."
Haru's breath caught as he stared at this beautiful person. Makoto smiled even wider and dropped Haru's hand and instead cupped his face, his fingers trailing into his silky, black hair. He pressed their foreheads together, and Haru's heart began to race.
Makoto abruptly wrapped his arms around Haru's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. He nuzzled his nose in Haru's hair and sighed.
"So…can we still sleep like that?"
In lieu of a response, Haru immediately grabbed one of Makoto's arms from around his shoulders and dragged him to the bed where they flopped down unceremoniously. Haru was toward the wall again and Makoto on the other side of the bed looking ruffled. Haru tugged on Makoto's shirt until he moved closer, then tossed his leg over him to pull him in even further. He left it draped there, finding that he had liked it earlier.
They laid like that on their sides, Haru using Makoto' s arm as a pillow, gazing at each other, for once, without holding back. Makoto looked like he couldn't decide if he was more surprised or pleased. He lifted his free arm to run his fingers through Haru's hair again, when out of no where a big grin appeared on his face.
"What?"
"Oh, I'm just thinking that now maybe we can do this more often. I feel so lucky."
Haru blushed bright red but couldn't look away from Makoto's eyes. That is, until they he couldn't resist his eyes flickering to his lips. His breathing halted as he watched Makoto's eyes do the same.
Makoto's hand stilled in Haru's black locks and his expression began to cloud over with something new to Haru's eyes.
Haru instinctively started to lean in slightly. Makoto's gaze quickly went from his lips to his eyes and back again before slowly, finally, closing the only distance left between them.