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And I want a love that falls as fast
As a body from the balcony, and
I want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground
I'm holding my breath with a baseball bat
Though I don't know what I'm waiting for
I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be
Townie, Mitski
This was it.
This was the end.
After countless years of back and forth. After centuries of this game of cat and mouse.
They were finally here.
Falling.
Falling together, both in each other’s arms.
Honestly, The Star didn’t expect it to happen like this. But then again, they always knew they’d be each other’s demise.
And now, everything they’ve done over the past hundred years have all accumulated to this very moment.
Them together, falling from the very top of the castle The Star once called home. A stake pressed squarely on her back, right behind where her heart should be.
Where her heart should be .
Now that The Star thought about it, she realized that she doesn’t remember where she last placed her heart.
She knew she at least had one. She had one a long, long time ago. But for a while now, she felt like she simply never had one to begin with. She thought that maybe she misplaced it. Lost it over all the centuries that’ve passed by. Being an immortal like her, you tend to not care about what's been lost over the years.
But now, as she was plummeting to both of their dooms, more than thousands of vampires at their tail, she had an epiphany.
Staring at the pink gum woman in front of her, the one intending to finally finish her off, the one who’d been fighting every single second of her life to exact revenge upon her, she realized something.
It was with her .
Her heart. It was with her .
Bonnibel Bubblegum. She had her heart.
Maybe she always had.
After decades upon centuries of knowing each other. After even more of them hating each other, despising each other’s guts. After all the yelling, teasing, assassination attempts, getting on each other’s nerves, hurting, fighting, taunting. One would think one of them would've been successful in killing the other.
And yet, they never had. At least, not until now.
They always left the other bruised and broken, but never, despite all of the chances presented, despite knowing full well that it would finally end each other’s suffering, never did they actually dealt the final blow.
It was a sort of cycle that way.
Some never ending chase of tag. Where one went, the other always followed.
It was a never ending cycle of teasing, fighting, hurting and losing, and yet, never dying. They’ve done it more than hundreds of times before, yet they never seemed to get tired of it.
It was constant. It was natural. It was routine.
It was almost like home.
In a sick twisted sort of way, it was like coming home.
It was a comfort only the two of them shared.
It was a weird sort of normalcy.
And they never deviated from it, they never did anything to change it. The futile attempts that did occur in the past were, well, futile. And they always loved burying their past behind them.
But at this very moment, time seemed to slow. The Star reminisced on their past. She wondered if this was truly the end of it. If this would truly be their final moments together.
“Together, then.” Bonnibel had said seconds before.
It was truly a testament to them, wasn’t it? To die together in a tragic fall neither of them would survive.
One not relenting in her stand, one not letting the other go.
They could've let go.
Really, they could have.
But they won't. Wouldn’t.
Couldn’t.
And they both knew that.
Because they were in this together.
They have always been in this together.
Throughout the centuries, they saw the rise and fall of every single life’s feeble attempt to survive. The only constant in everything was them.
They were always together. Tethered by some sick cruel joke from the universe.
It was magnetic and fierce. It was a force too strong. They knew the other felt it too. It was simply too grand to ignore.
It was probably the reason why this charade had been going on for so long. Although, neither one would admit it.
It was then The Star wondered even more.
She wondered if they were always to be this way, always being pulled by one another despite pushing the other away. If it were always to be this way, couldn’t they have done something different?
Couldn't have they made this easier on themselves? Why did they have to go through all of this turmoil, this suffering, only to end up in the same place?
Why did they try to change the tides, change the outcome, change fate, if they only ended up together in the end?
Could they have changed?
Was change even something she wanted?
What did she want?
…
The Star didn’t know.
She thought she did, but the more she thought about it, the more confused she got.
She knew that all her actions were fueled by what she wanted. But what was that?
She hadn’t known it for years now. Consciously, at least. The things she did want were shallow at best.
Fun. Enjoyment. Satisfaction. Approvement.
Or disapprovement.
The last one was funny. She used to always hate that. People disapproving of what she liked. Who she was. What she did.
She always seeked it. As a kid, she always wanted someone to approve of her. Think highly of her. And her dad gave that. He gave that all.
Praise, love, attention. He gave her all of that and more. It was all she ever wanted.
At least, that’s what she thought.
Because now, falling to her doom, her thoughts finally seemed clear.
She wanted something different. She wanted something like this. This weird state of chaotic peace she found themselves in. Where the world seemed to fall apart, and the only thing she could see was her.
The Star thought she'd already died at this point. She was simply too at peace right now. Maybe this was what the people of the old meant when they said seconds before your death, 'life flashes before your eyes'.
But no. She was still alive. She could still feel every sensation on her body. She still felt the wind going through her hair as she fell. She could still hear the thousands of vampires chasing after them. And she could still feel the stake pressing firmly on her back.
The stake was still there. She realized.
It hadn't gone through yet. She thought it'd be through her by now.
…
Maybe. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who’s still hesitant here.
The Star looked, she really looked, at the woman in front of her. She studied her features to the minute detail. The crease in her eyebrows, the way her lips turned, her face hot with anger.
She looked at her as if she was the last thing she’ll ever see. Because really, she was.
She will be.
Was she?
…
The Star tore her eyes away from the woman and looked for her dad.
Behind the massive sea of vampires behind her, she managed to find her dad standing at the top of their home. He was watching closely, intently with a keen eye. He looked worried, but he didn’t seem to move.
The Star looked at him and searched for answers she didn’t know the question of. But she saw him do nothing but command the others and watch them as they fell.
There was something in her. Something in her that realized something, but she didn't know what it was.
But for that split second, The Star made a decision.
She turned to Bonnibel with a fire in her eyes.
“Do you trust me?!” The Star yelled at Bonnibel all of the sudden. Wind whistled as it crashed between their ears. The other could barely hear her over the noise, but she did.
“Never!” Bonnibel yelled back with indignance.
They were seconds away from hitting the floor. They were still falling with such a speed. There was no stopping this. But dagnabbit wasn’t she going to try.
“But would you?!” The Star yelled through the air, hoping her voice didn't reach the others.
Bonnibel froze and only looked at The Star. Her expression morphed into something incomprehensible and raw.
Confusion. Hesitance. And something else.
The Star didn’t wait for an answer. “THEN DON’T STAKE ME JUST YET!”
They were already falling at such a high speed, but somehow they fell even faster. The Star wrapped herself around Bonnibel and held her tight. Bonnibel’s grip on her also grew, but the pressure from the stake released.
They were closing in towards the ground now. They weren’t sure what they were doing. Why they were doing it. But they did anyway.
Inches away from the ground, they both braced for impact. Eyes screwed shut as they waited for the blow.
But it was a blow that never came.
Because inches from the ground, The Star turned.
The Star swiftly turned and flew parallel to the ground, keeping them from hitting it.
But with that much energy before the turn, she could barely control it.
Suddenly, hundreds of thousands of vampires simultaneously crashed onto the ground. The deafening crack it made made it known. But with the force of thousands of bodies simultaneously hitting the exact same spot, It was like a nuclear bomb had been detonated all over again.
A giant mushroom cloud formed and a strong blast of wind went through the entire radius.
But The Star just flew straight.
They were propelled forward at such high speeds, they could barely make out where they were going. But they felt it.
Through the streets, through the windows, through the doors of buildings, they just flew straight ahead. It wasn’t like they had a choice in the matter.
They left the boundary of the city and quickly entered an overgrown forest. Branches, leaves and thorns hit their faces and scratched their bodies. The Star maneuvered the best she could, but they were flying faster than she’d ever flown before.
But then she noticed that they were heading towards a large tree. Larger than any of the others. It was directly on their path. The Star couldn’t move. She couldn’t turn. There wasn’t any space to.
And so she made another decision.
She swiftly turned her body towards the tree and wrapped Bonnibel tightly towards her chest.
Crack!
The crack was almost as loud as when the vampires' fell. Or was it because her ears were ringing?
She wasn't really sure. Like how she wasn't sure how exactly the next part played out.
The few things she could tell was that surprisingly, the tree didn't break upon impact (It was a really big tree). Instead, bark flew everywhere around them with leaves and sticks joining in the fray.
She felt like falling front first but she didn't remember the landing. Somehow, she ended up leaning lamely against the tree, every inch of her body aching.
She didn't know if she passed out for a bit after that or if she just stayed put, leaning against the tree with her eyes closed.
What she did remember was when she finally opened her eyes again, Bonnibel was crouching in front of her. Cuts and bruises scattered her body as her tattered and torn clothes clung onto it. She was holding a stake in her right hand. The sight of it almost made The Star grumble.
"Why did you do it?" Bonnibel's husky voice asked after a few moments, accusatory.
The Star groaned as she shifted her body into a more comfortable position. "Come on, you really didn't think I'd give up on us that easily, did you?"
Bonnibel stood up and paced the floor. "Well I sort of did actually! You know, falling to my death and all. I was this close to staking you and finally getting this over with."
She pinched her fingers together in front of The Star. The Star raised an eyebrow and put on her signature smirk, although it was purely from sheer force of habit. This ticked Bonnibel off however, so before the vampire realized it, a boot slammed next to her ear, above her shoulder, and a stake pointed squarely onto her neck.
"Answer me!" Bonnibel yelled, inches away from her face.
The Star winced at the volume.
She stared at the gum woman for a moment. Watched as confusion was haphazardly covered up by rage.
Frankly, was getting quite annoyed by the lack of gratitude Bonnibel was giving her for saving her damned life.
It was kinda really getting on her nerves
The Star rolled her eyes but almost immediately regretted it as her head started pounding as she did so. She covered it up by a huff that masked indifference.
"Please. I can fly, Bonnibel. Dying from fall damage would be a pathetic way to go."
Bonnibel chewed on her lip, clearly wanting to say something. Instead, she let out a grunt and moved back to the spot where she was before. She sat down on the dirt, her knees tucked into her chest.
For a moment. The Star only watched the vampire hunter. She had her head down as she had her arms extended, laying on her knees. She didn't let go of the stake. Instead she tightened and loosened her hold on it in intervals.
The Star couldn't do anything at the moment. She couldn't move. Yes, her body heals rather well but she was really out of it right now, and she was pretty sure she at least broke 50 of her bones today.
Slowly, after what seemed like eons – it was 3 minutes – Bonnibel looked up and addressed The Star.
"Why did you do it?"
The Star groaned. "I literally just told you-"
"No." Bonnibel cut her off.
The Star whipped her head around and found that Bonnibel had turned towards her direction, fully facing her this time. She sat cross legged and the stake laid beside her on the ground.
She was no longer holding it.
"Why did you do it?" Bonnibel repeated, but it was so soft, so quiet, The Star barely heard it.
The Star sat there wide-eyed at Bonnibel. She'd never heard her speak so softly before. She was always so coarse, so loud, so angry. She didn't even know Bonnibel could even do that.
The Star's mouth felt dry as her words failed to form.
It was weird to say the least. They were in uncharted territory now. They’d never seen this side of each other before. It was like they were both acting out of character. Her not having a word to say, Bonnibel being soft and tame.
So, she settled on the truth.
"I… I don't know." She shrugged and turned away. Her hair fell and covered her face. "It just didn't feel right, I guess."
Silence.
She was met with silence as she answered the question.
To be fair, there was nothing else to say.
A small breeze passed through them. The rustle of leaves and stubbornly alive animals filled the empty void between them.
The Star refused to face the other woman. She knew she was staring at her. She felt her eye roam around her body. She knew she was probably scrutinizing her. She reckoned the other girl's head must be filled to the brim with theories of why she acted the way she did or if she was trying something. Honestly, she wouldn't blame her if she did so. She wouldn't trust her either.
It was silent for a while longer before Bonnibel broke the silence.
"Ok," Bonnibel started as she stood up from the ground. "Truce. For the next 24 hours, we won't try to kill each other. We'll help each other go back to our respective places and we forget any of this ever happened."
Bonnibel extended her hand towards The Star. "Do we have a deal?"
The Star was quiet for a moment, letting her brain catch up to whatever Bonnibel just said. When it all finally registered, she looked at the hand, and then looked at Bonnibel's face.
It was stoic, but not stoic in the way she usually was. No, it was the stoic face she put on when she was trying to hide something. Something important. Something that meant something.
The Star hesitated for a moment but in the end, decided to opt out of shaking her hand.
"Psh, sure. Fine. Whatever, Bonnibel." She said as she leaned back on the tree and crossed her arms.
Bonnibel's lips turned into a thin straight line before she slowly returned her hand to her side.
"Good. But for the record, I don't owe you." The gum woman said pointedly.
"I never said you did." The Star replied simply. No malice. No teasing. Just a statement.
Bonnibel hummed. Then, she suddenly stood straight and seemed to look around. She put her hands on her hips as she looked into a particular direction. She then turned her back to The Star and said, "Stay put. I'm gonna try and find some supplies to fix you up. I'm also gonna find some stuff to set up camp." She started walking away, not really waiting for an answer
The Star was confused by this. She wasn't the type to be taken care of like that . "Don't bother. I heal up quick, remember?" She called out as Bonnibel was reaching the edge of their little clearing.
Bonnibel paused for a moment before turning her head slightly to the side, not facing The Star in the slightest.
"I know." She answered before promptly disappearing among the flora. Leaving The Star alone against a tree, her own thoughts being her only company.
It was a while before The Star registered that she’d been truly left alone. When she did however, she slowly raised her head up towards the sky and rested it on the tree. She let herself soak in the quiet she found herself in. The soft breeze that kissed her skin, the chirping of birds weaving from tree to tree.
There was a whirlwind of dialogue inside her. It was itching to be let out onto the world. But right now, The Star was going to ignore all of it and let herself relax.
But one statement repeated and burned against her skull. So, The Star decided to humor it as she looked into the sky.
“I want to be what my body wants me to be.”