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I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. I don't sleep much after… Which trauma should I even blame my insomnia on? The most recent, the battle between demigod and giants, between Greek and Roman? The terror before that of being trapped in a jar? Tartarus and the living hell that had been? Or maybe it reached back further.
Back to when I was thirteen and got my crush captured by my father, after watching him almost die following my idea? At age twelve when I was slumming around an underground maze, following orders suggestions from a dead dictator? At ten when my sister died, leaving me alone?
All seemed like reasonable suggestions. Any of those options would make sense. But, realistically, I knew my issues with sleep started long before Bianca had died. They had started before the Lotus hotel, persisting even through the magically induced sleeping drug.
No. They, like so many of my issues, had started far earlier in life than that. They had started when Mamma had died.
But things had definitely gotten worse after the more recent traumas. I could no longer close my eyes without seeing the hoards of monsters charging at me as I tried to find the doors of death. Couldn't shower without seeing the multitude of scars I'd gained. Couldn't speak as loud or as long since drinking the Phlegethon. Even my native tongue was almost beyond my reach, though it still felt more comfortable to speak.
I shift over to my side. If only ambrosia healed mental wounds as well. The night is cold and I grip the blanket closer. I trace the familiar lines of my wall with my eyes. It was so close…
With a shudder, I flip to the other side, clutching the spare pillow to my chest. The wall is further on that side. I should be okay.
But the other beds in the cabin loom. They mock me, their shadows growing larger on the wall. We're here. They say. We fill the space. The walls press in and the space seems to shrink faster.
And with that, I can't stay in my bed anymore. I leap out of the sheets, blanket clutched around my shoulders and pillow still stuffed under my arm. Without a true second thought, I flee the cabin.
My breath falters and I'm panting before I can actually think again. I look around me and realize I've gotten to the campfire circle. The fire is mere embers now, but I can see the familiar form of a young girl tending them, encouraging them to reignite. I bow, legs stiff, and mind still racing.
"M-m-my Lady. May I sh-sh-share your warmth?"
The girl smiles, eyes flickering with a fire that promises peace. "Come child. Rest." She waits for me to sit before asking "What seems to be troubling you?"
I stare at the ground, ashamed. "È troppo piccolo." I mutter. "E non voglio farlo da solo."
Heistia nods with understanding. Her small hand hovers over my shoulder, as if afraid to touch me. I don't say anything but I nod, thankful for the gift of a boundary she has set. "You aren't alone, young demigod. Many people care for you."
I look at her inquisitively. "Are you sure, Gentle Lady? You're the only one who has even spoken to me this week. The rest wouldn't care if I had disappeared."
Heista lets out a small laugh. It sounds like a soothing creek. "Are you sure, child?"
My eyebrows furrow. I want to snap, to yell 'don't you think I'd know if I'd been talked to this week?'. Maybe throw something. Anything to shake the calm look off her face. To make her feel some of my inner turmoil. Make her feel just a fraction of the fear I constantly face.
I don't get the chance. Heista shifts form, turning into a small donkey and running off. I stare at where she disappears incredulously. Che diavolo?
Behind me a crashing sound breaks the silence. I spin around, instantly tense. My gaze lands on a figure.
It takes only half a second to recognize who it is. Tall, blond, and an orange shirt ripped in ways that called less training to mind and more emergency bandaids. There was only one camper it could be. Will Solace.
"Nico! Finally! I've– ugh." He bends down, hands sitting on his knees as his chin rests on his chest. In a panting voice he says "Gimme a second."
"Will?" I ask in disbelief. "What in Zeus' saggy underpants are you doing here?"
"I was followin' ya, ain't I?" Will looks up, studying me from under his shaggy blond fringe. "I saw you out the window. Runnin'. Like a bat outta Tartarus. Wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm–"
"Don't you dare say fine. It's way too easy to tell you ain't fine." Will warns.
"But I am!" I protest.
"Bless your heart. Fine ain't see you out by the firepit with a blanket and a– is that your pillow?"
Embarrassed, I stuff the pillow further under my arm. "I'm fine! It's just davvero molto piccolo nella mia cabina."
"It's what, Mr. Italiano?"
I feel a slight heat cover my cheeks. I hadn't even realized I switched to Italian. Instead of repeating myself I simply say "I needed some air."
"Ah. You're goin' back to your cabin then?"
Without thinking, I shake my head. "I'm not gonna sleep most likely anyway. Might as well stay where I can breathe."
"As a doctor, I agree that's probably a good idea."
I shake my head at the ridiculous blond. "You are not a doctor!"
"I'm close enough! As close as you'll find here anyway!"
I laugh at his offended tone, eyes closing in my content. My laugh continues till I feel something jerk under my arm. My eyes jolt open and the laugh dies on my lips. I stare at my companion with disbelief.
"Did you just," I say, jerking my hands back toward me, "try to steal my pillow?"
Will pouts. "Well if I'm gonna keep you company after whatever happened with you, the least you can do is share the pillow!"
I shift my grip on it, both hands grabbing the same short side of the pillow. "I didn't ask you to keep me company! And I definitely didn't ask you to steal my pillow!" Confidence building, I cocked my arms back. "If anything, I asked you to leave me alone Glowstick!"
On the last syllable, I straighten my arms, effectively slapping Will with the pillow. His expression of shock barely forms before he's grabbing at the pillow again. We playfully fight for control.
"Fiiiine! If I can't have the pillow, I'll just lay on you!" Will finally shouts, voice laced with laughter.
In shock I let go of my end. Will goes flying backwards. I'm about to ask if he's okay when he scrambles back upright and triumphantly holds the pillow over his head.
"Victory is mine!" He shouts. Then with a charming smile, he turns back to me. "Don't worry though. You can use me as a pillow, Ghost King. Just don't drool."
I chuckle along with him and halfheartedly grab for my pillow again. "You are a royal pain in the arse."
"So long as it's your arse, I'm okay with that!" He said, smile splitting his face.
My face bursts with heat as I stumble after him. "Will Solace! You can't just say that sort of thing!"
"I can if it's to you."
I swear I see him wink. My heart is pounding but for an entirely different reason now. With a final head shake, I follow the ridiculous boy. Maybe for once, the insomnia was worth it.