Work Text:
Statement of Abel Kohler, regarding a never ending warning of the sky.
Statement begins.
Sorry to make you have to hear me talk. My handwriting’s shit. But I appreciate it that you took the time to write it down for me.
I feel silly even bein' here talkin' to y’all about this. Because this isn't some ghost thing. Yes, yes the guy at the front said there's more to the paranormal and your studies than ghosts but it feels off when it's not a ghost. Y'know?
My granpa always said it was useless to complain about the weather where you grow up. You get what you got. The weather will continue to not take any notice of your life or what you want. Adapt.
But I feel like I have a right to complain about tornadoes. Especially now. I lived in a little section of Kansas that would see a fair share every season. Yes, haha make your Wizard of Oz jokes now. Most of the time we didn't even take shelter, we'd just stand out and watch. See if it got any closer or not. Now don't give me that look. It was just how things went. It was a town of like 300 and there wasn’t nothin’ else to do if you didn’t want to drive into ‘the city’.
The point was they never got close. Every time it seemed like they were coming right for us and then they would just veer around. Like a dog being pulled by its leash to avoid something it really wanted to sniff.
But it takes just one time, y'know?
I can remember the day crystal clear. And I mean crystal. A perfect summer day. The sky was so blue and empty, I didn't see a single cloud. I mean a deep blue. The kind that’s only in a book.. I must've spent five minutes standing in my yard staring up at it. I was just mesmerized by how beautiful it was. I might even say I yearned for it, if I was to be romantic about the damn sky.
And then I needed to get on with my chores. I had a home to take care of. So I get on with it. Went to put some tools up in the shed. Took the time to put them where they belong instead of dumping them just inside the door.. Maybe took five minutes, max.
Went outside and thought I had lost time somehow. It was so dark, like dusk. Clouds came out of nowhere. Lightning was striking so close and I could see the thing illuminated in the distance. It was huge. You know what a F4 is? Dunno if the scales are the same overseas. You can’t even really understand how big it is from the ground. It’s like the sky stepped down on us and the clouds are the only proof.
It was so silent at first. And maybe it was my own fear blockin my ears, but I didn’t even hear the storm as I processed what I was lookin’ at. Just heard my own heartbeat.
I had to move fast to get my nearest neighbors. It was a place where you don’t lock your doors, y’know? So I burst into their kitchen yelling at them that a big one was headin’ our way. That’s when the sirens roared to life. All of them. We were running out of time.
Helped to grab the kids while their parents opened the gate so their cattle could go if it came to that. They were branded. There was nothing else they could do. And then they came into my yard where I had the in ground shelter.
Rich– Richard, my neighbor. The husband or father or however you want to categorize him.. He and I were standing and holding onto the handle of the trap door of the shelter. Holding on for dear life. It felt like the wind had grabbed the other side and was pulling with all its might, trying to get to us. I could hear the hail coming down and pelting the ground above us as well.
I remember for a brief moment I thought our strength was going to fail. I could see the little gap of the door trying to lift up. And I saw… something. I don’t know. Maybe it was my panic and personifying the wind trying to reach for me. Like I was a little trinket that rolled under the dresser and it was trying to fit its hand in..
But we held.
And just as fast as it came, the tornado was gone. We knew it was gone because we heard something crash upon us as the wind finally let things go. But we waited a bit, listening for pure silence and to see if the sirens would go off again. There’s always a risk of a second or even third following through. But there was nothing.
Rich and I had to both push up on the door while his youngest son wiggled through the gap. We were too big to fit through.. But his boy got out and could move the debris off. My shed had fallen onto the door and we could’ve easily been trapped under there.
Everything was gone. Both our houses, everything. It was just flat land and rubble. I’ll spare you the horrific and boring details. Our town was literally wiped off the map. And you can’t.. You can’t do anything after something like that. Small town blight had already started to settle and with nothing left? You just.. You gotta pack up. Except there’s nothing to pack up.
And that should be it. Except then… it started. First time was when we started to clean up everything. Trying to salvage what was left and all. Clear day again. I looked at the sky, lamenting that it wasn’t as blue.
I heard the sirens. And I swore I was gonna have a god damn panic attack but there wasn’t anything. Crew I was with askin’ if I’m alright and I just go ‘can’t you hear it?’
“Hear what?” They ask.
Like I said. Sirens are loud. You can’t just Not hear them. That’s not how they’re designed.
Figured it was just.. The trauma? Felt like a fool and moved on. But it kept happening. I’m minding my own business and suddenly my head is full of sirens. But the sky above me is so blue and there’s nothing coming.
I know it’s easy to write it off as an auditory hallucination. But I don’t think it’s that. It’s never the same. Sometimes it’s quiet and far away.. and sometimes it’s like it’s coming nearer. And I’ve been through tornadoes before. I’ve been in other areas that have been swept to the side by the wind and it’s never followed me like this. The sirens, I mean. A tornado isn’t following me, that’s ridiculous.
I moved. Sold the land for a good profit and left. Moved places where the sirens sound different Even moved somewhere the sirens don’t exist, and I still heard them. No one else ever did. No matter how much I asked and begged them to listen and understand. I was looked on with pity and fear over and over. Because oh no poor Abe’s finally losin’ his fucking marbles!
I moved again. And again. Finally decided to just sell my shit and travel everywhere, try to destress and find a place where I can be relaxed enough they’ll leave me alone. Then I could set my roots again. But it’s not working. Every time I get too comfortable, I’ll look up and see a beautiful blue sky. Then it starts up again. And while I hear it I can sometimes feel like someone’s reaching out to grab me from behind. But nothing’s there.
I can handle stormy weather just fine. There’s radars and just general knowledge that lets me keep my eye on things. I’m prepared for the weather to turn in that situation. I’m never caught off guard. It’s when I.. It thinks I’m safe.
One time I was so frustrated I didn’t know what to do, I just.. Fell to the ground and started digging. Some little part of me said to be underground. Because that saved me last time. Because that’s what they tell you to do if you’re driving and one’s comin’. Hop out of the car and get in a ditch. Though I always found that morbid. Like you were settling down in your own grave. Like there’s a place for them to find your body later when the trucks come through.
And in a way I felt like I was digging my own grave. But dig I did, scraping my fingers through the hard dirt. And.. it helped? The moment I was wrist deep and I could only smell dirt the sirens would be muffled and then it would move away. It wouldn’t just suddenly stop like before, it would actively sound further away. I tried looking up to the direction I thought it was going. Just the endless blue sky like always.
Sometimes I can’t help but think that blue was moving. Like fabric getting rustled. Like a child that’s hiding behind the curtains..
But I can’t keep digging. I can’t keep running. I’m so tired. I’m tired of the roar. I’m tired of the blue skies with nothing in them. Because nothing is coming to get me. I have to believe that. I have to believe it’s nothing and not the wind biding its time to scoop me out of the ground.
I don’t think you can really do anything to help me. I just wanted to say something and hopefully someone believes me. Or, God forbid, find out if someone’s gone through the same thing. Maybe they can tell me how to make it stop.
Statement ends.