Chapter Text
Ava’s life as she knew it ended suddenly and completely unexpectedly. The woman she was, was gone. Mother, wife… these identities were taken from her by a rain slicked road on a sudden crash.
“Almost there.”
Beatrice Young was JC’s best friend. She looks over at Ava, her face a mask of sympathy and grief. She had been a great support this past couple of days, helping with the arrangements, Ava doesn’t think she would’ve been able to do it alone.
“Are you ready to see them?”
Panic coils in her belly like a snake waiting to strike, she’s going to the funeral of her husband and son, how could she possibly be ready to face her in-laws or anybody for that fact?
“I don’t know.” She said quietly. “I don’t even believe this is happening yet.”
“You’re facing something impossible… something none of us are ever ready for.”
Ava looks out the window, at the rain hitting the glass, drops running against it with the wind, the wet cement of the road, the trees moving with the wind… she fights fresh tears as she imagines her mother in law’s kind face twisted in grief over the loss of her son and grandson.
“I wish I knew what to say to them.”
“No matter what, they’ll understand. You’ve always been like a daughter to them.”
Ava says nothing, she follows a raindrop as it races down the window while Beatrice focuses on the road. She wonders what she was thinking about, the loss of her best friend, the loss of her nephew or the young kid she has waiting for her at home.
“No mother should have to bury her son.” Is what she says. The words hang in the air like black smoke as they drive in silence for the rest of the way.
Before long the car grinds to a halt. Her stomach squeezing as Beatrice climbs out to open her door, she holds an umbrella over her head as she leads her down the cemetery path.
“So much rain.” Ava says, breaking the silence. “It feels appropriate.”
JC and Gabriel… the lights of her life...gone.
They arrive at the funeral gathering, Ava simply being led on by Beatrice as if in a trance. JCs family is already there. His mother gives her the warmest smile she can manage.
“Ava! I’m so glad you got here…”
Her voice fades as the last word remains unsaid. It feels wrong, somehow, to talk about safe passage through the rain.
Ava scans the crowd. It was full of somber-faced friends and relatives. Camila, JC’s sister, wipes at her tears, with a handkerchief, but it does nothing to slow the steady flow as she weeps for her brother. JC’s father, Henry, speaks with the priest while his brother, Randall, stands by the open graves in a deep silence.
After some time Ava takes her place at the front of the crowd as the priest clears his throat. A hush falls over those gathered.
Ava once again feels like she’s in a trance, the priest’s words drifting on the wind as he speaks of pain and loss, Ava finds them comforting, hoping that wherever her two favorite people are that they’ve found peace.
Beside her Beatrice remains a reassuring presence but she can tell that despite her solid presence, she’s barely keeping it together. Her jaw quivering like a dam ready to burst, so Ava, without tearing her gaze from the gravestones, reaches out to take her hand. Even in the wind and rain, her fingers are warm as they wrap around Ava’s and squeeze gently.
The brunette doesn’t think she could get through this without her. And she felt thankful to have her close. Her grip kept Ava tethered like an anchor in a storm.
Soon it was all done, and the crowd dispersed, everyone going back to their sons, their husbands. Their families. And Ava? Who will Ava go home to?
“Ava? Let’s get you back to the car. It’s too cold to stay out here.”
The brunette shakes her head. “I’m not ready to go.” She said, sniffling. “You don’t need to wait for me, though.” She doesn’t look at them but can hear whispering all around her.
“It’s alright, I’ll get her home safe.”
Beatrice’s voice cuts through the whispers. No one argues with her. Even now, Beatrice Young, is a steady and commanding presence.
Henry taps her on the shoulder. “Take care of her.”
Beatrice nods, and the others head towards their cars.
“Take all the time you need, Ava.”
Gratitude blooms in her chest, because strangely is what she needed to hear but didn’t know. She needed someone to reassure her that it was okay to take her time before moving forward.
“Bea, could you...stay with me?” She asks her. “I just need some time to say goodbye.” Her voice cracks as she grapples with the last remaining threads of her composure.
“Of course, anything you need.”
Tomorrow will be her first day without JC and that’s when her composure breaks, and Ava feels her grief like a knife twisting in her chest. Strong arms encircle her, keeping her upright as her legs buckle.
“How? How am I supposed to go on living without them?” She croaks.
“One day at a time, Ava. Just take this one day at a time.”
Rains weeps down as the umbrella falls to the floor, Beatrice simply holds her as she weeps into her chest.
“Thank you for staying with me.”
“Whatever you need, Ava.” Beatrice promises. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Ava doesn’t know how much time passes, it feels like an eternity before she’s able to hold herself up and return with Beatrice to the car.
Goodbye, my loves.
-----------------------
5 Years Later
Haunted by her loss, Ava fled her town to try and make a new life for herself in the city. She’s been running ever since. But something told her it was time to go back home and so she packs her things up and drives back to Shadow Creek.
After a three hour drive, the familiar sight of the Martinez’s beautiful Georgian house greets her as she pulls into the driveway. No more putting things off. It was time to see her in-laws, she just hoped they could forgive her for staying away this long.
She crosses the driveway, each step getting heavier as she takes them. It’s the first time in five years she’s been here alone, last time JC was at her side. The Martinezs have sent her invitations every Christmas since she left. For five christmases, and she’s ignored them all.
She admits she let her grief isolate her and she regrets pushing them away. The Martinez have always been there for her. She should’ve let them help her through her loss. She should have been there for them. She remembers how many times they tried to reach out to her after the funeral, and a wave of guilt overcomes her.
She takes a deep breath and shakes her head, she shouldn’t dwell in the past. If things can’t be what they were, maybe she can start over.
“Ava! You are here!” Her mother in-law looks at her surprised after opening the door. Thankfully she doesn’t mention Ava’s radio silence but rather puts her arms around her and hugs her tight.
“Let her get her boots off.” Henry jokes, appearing in the doorway smiling.
They then usher her inside, and to Ava it felt like coming home. The front hall was decorated with garlands, and the scent of gingerbread wafts from the kitchen.
“You still have the nicest Christmas decorations I’ve ever seen, Eliza.” Ava says looking around.
“Wait until you see the pie!”
“You better not touch that pie, Henry. You’re supposed to be watching your diet!”
Henry blinks. “But I made it.”
“Oh, I’m sure one piece won’t hurt him.” Ava comes to his defense. “Isn’t Christmas the one time of year we can indulge.”
“Fine. Just one.” Mrs. Martinez warns.
“My hero!” Henry beams at Ava as Eliza leads them both into the kitchen.
The smell of warm pie and hot coco makes Ava feel right at home and she wonders just how she managed to stay away for so long.
All of a sudden there’s a sound of thunder as four legs make their way to the kitchen.
“Bark!”
“Oh when did you get a dog!” Ava asked getting down to greet the dog happily.
“It was Camila’s idea. We didn’t want a dog, but she twisted our arm.”
As if on cue Camila’s voice drifts from the front hall as the dog wiggles excitedly.
“Is that Ava?” She calls out.
“We are all in the kitchen, Camila!” Her mom answered. “Skip came to say hello!”
“I read about dogs and how beneficial they are, especially when people are sick.” Says Camila as she walks into the kitchen ruffling her dog’s ear.
“You are a very cute dog aren’t you Skip.” Ava cues as the ball of floof flops onto her side so Ava could rub her tummy.
All of a sudden instead of a dog’s barreling into her legs was a little boy, Diego. Beatrice’s foster kid.
“Auntie Ava!” The boy jumps up and down. “It’s me, Diego!”
“Diego!” Ava greets with a big smile. “You’ve grown so much! You’re so much bigger than last year’s Christmas card!”
“It 's true!” The boy proudly said. “I’m growing up! I’m going to be as tall as mommy!”
Beatrice is a single parent. She raised Diego all on her own after her wife left her and judging by the boy’s smiling face, she’s done a great job.
If Diego was there, then Beatrice should be too. And there she was walking into the kitchen.
The sight of her knocked the wind out of Ava..
“Good to see you, Ava.”
Her soft voice is as warm and comfortingly familiar as hot chocolate. The last time she saw her was at the funeral. She saved her repeatedly in the month following JC’s and Gabriel’s death. She was her rock.
Nerves jump in her belly as she locks eyes with her from across the room. Her face was uncertain, like she’s not sure what Ava’s reaction will be. What’s with the look? Does she think Ava doesn’t want to see her?
Ava’s fingers itch to reach out to her, to embrace her, to show her how wrong she is, she missed her.
Ava steps forward so Beatrice can gather her into a tight embrace. And boy was it every bit as reassuring as it had been since that day.
“I’m so damn happy you came home for Christmas.” The words are whispered against her hair, raw with emotion. “I thought we lost you, Ava. I thought…”
“That seeing you would bring back too many hard memories?”
Beatrice shrugs.
Ava sighs. “I’m not saying it doesn’t. But that’s on me, Bea. Not you.” As she stares up at her warm eyes, she’s stuck by how different it felt to stand before her now.
“Ava?”
“Yes?”
“Can I sleep in here with you tonight? JC always let me climb in with him when I was feeling…” She was going to say bad, but Beatrice thinks there’s really not a word to describe what she felt right now.
Ava slept on JC’s side of the bed, Beatrice climbed onto hers. it was silent, and they had been in the same space since the accident and it was okay. Her presence even in the quiet was comforting.
She pulls back after realizing she’s held her a little too long. Maybe she missed her more than she thought.
Beatrice doesn’t seem to have noticed, and her hands hold Ava’s arms as she takes in the sight of her.
“How’s it fair that you haven’t aged a day?”
“I could say the same for you.”
Beatrice smiles, and it feels as if Ava only saw her a few days ago. All the time and distance melts away.
Eliza gets the hot cocoa into mugs and into everybody’s hand. Ava smiled when the woman put extra marshmallows on hers.
“What do we say, bug?”
“Thank you, Eliza!”
“You’re very welcome, Diego.”
Everyone in the kitchen smiles fondly as both mom and son shake their fist excitedly after taking a zip of their hot coco, but with a coco mustache left above their lips.
“This is great, Eliza. I think the things that come out of this kitchen are my favorite part of the holidays.” Beatrice said after cleaning up her mouth.
“What’s your favorite thing about Christmas, Auntie Ava?” Diego asks while his mother cleans away his mustache.
“Me?” Ava pretends to think about it for a second. “I’m going to have to go with family, I’ve had to spend some of my Christmases alone. It’ll be nice to be with my family again.”
“We’re so happy to have you back.” Eliza says.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Beatrice pipes in, looping her arm around Ava’s shoulders in a warm side-hug.
The brunette finds herself leaning into the comfort of her embrace.
“Me neither. It’s so good to be home.”
“Does that mean you’ll be here every holiday?” Diego asks, curiously.
“Of course it does.” Beatrice answers for her. “Auntie Ava knew she couldn’t stay away forever.”
Ava looks between Beatrice and Diego, she couldn’t bring herself to tell her the truth, and that was that she was only here for the holidays, not moving back. She doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to be back permanently. It was too painful.
“Of course, Diego! I’ve missed out on too many Martinez family holidays!”
Later Beatrice and Ava find themselves on the porch. They had so much catching up to do and Ava knows so much has happened to the sheriff in the last five years, but one question burns in Ava’s mind. But she doesn’t know if she should ask her.
As Ava stares up into her eyes, she remembers the steadfast friend that was always by her side through her hardest times. More than anything she wants to go back to how things were. She wants to trust her but she wants to know if Beatrice knew her husband was cheating on her?