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Lily Evans loved to draw. Her hobby was nothing fancy — just an ordinary quill on ordinary parchment, the way Muggles had done it once. And the pictures didn’t come to life or anything of that sort, but there was something comforting about the feather’s sharpened tip scratching away. This latest creation was no different and yet… it was. Something was missing. But what?
“Lily? What’ve you got there?”
Lily jumped at her name, the back of her head smacking into the tree she was sat under. A looming figure now blocked her view of the school grounds, their Hogwarts robes far from new. Glancing upwards confirmed her suspicions as a familiar hooked nose and greasy, black hair came into sight.
“Sev! I didn’t see you coming!” She slammed her notebook closed and shoved it behind her back for good measure. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing, is it?” His face was unreadable as he lowered himself to the ground, head tilted in a way that said he didn’t believe her. He settled a fair distance away with his palms facing the grass, arms supporting his slender frame. He never came too close to Lily, almost seeming afraid, and she couldn’t help but wonder why. “If you say so.”
Why, oh, why was she absolute rubbish at lying? Soon as her words deviated even slightly from the truth, it ate away at her insides like a famished Puffskein. Surely one small fib wouldn’t hurt him… right? But the gnaw of guilt was unbearable, so she relented with a sigh.
“Fine, fine, I'll show you. But you’ve got to swear you won’t laugh! On your honour as my best friend.”
A corner of Severus’ mouth quirked upwards at that — a rarity — and he raised a dark eyebrow. “Alright, then. I, Severus Tobias Snape, swear as your best friend that I won’t laugh. At… whatever this is.”
Lily couldn’t move. She’d been struck by the Body-Bind Curse once, and what she felt now was nearly identical. Surely the Sorting Hat had put her in the right house? She stood up to any bullying git without a second thought but couldn’t even show Severus this silly picture! She took a deep breath and reached back, clutching the leather-bound book. The hand that offered it to him shook more than she liked as he took it wordlessly. He opened the tome with a flourish and began flipping through its pages. His eyes skimmed its contents hungrily until the most recent sketch caught his eye — one of… himself.
The portrayal was kind but undoubtedly him. Though he wore his usual frown, there was something charmingly pensive to it — an intense focus he bore when brewing a new potion or poring over a textbook. Lily often watched him in those soundless moments, transfixed by the cool demeanour and deft precision with which he worked. She’d started drawing him one day almost without realising and, for reasons she couldn’t quite admit, kept returning to it.
Severus opened his mouth, but no words came out at first. Only a strained sort of choking noise. “Me? You’ve drawn… But why… This must have taken — ”
Lily shrugged, sounding much calmer than she felt. “I draw whatever’s on my mind.”
He examined the sketch with a furrowed brow, his expression going from awe to confusion back to awe. A pallid hand traced the trails of ink over and over as if making sure they were real. “Brilliant job on my nose,” he said at long last.
“Oh, shut up. Besides, it’s not your nose, it’s…” Of course! How could she have missed it?! “Your eyes! It’s the eyes I haven’t got right!” The answer had literally been staring her in the face. His eyes, impossibly dark, were reminiscent of the Black Lake’s murky waters. Not because of some rubbish about drowning in them! But rather how there was something within flitting just below the surface, desperate to emerge.
“My… eyes?”
She nodded slowly. “Would you mind posing for me, Sev? Just until I’ve fixed them, of course.”
“You want me to — well… I s’pose.” Severus shifted in the grass, turning to face her head on. His sallow cheeks had a twinge of colour to them as he met her gaze.
“Perfect! Now you stay put while I look into these eyes of yours…” With a wave of her wand and a muttered incantation, the ink forming the drawing’s eyes vanished. Lily leaned forward, chewing her lip thoughtfully as she looked from Severus back to the parchment. The silence between them was broken only by the occasional breeze whipping through the treetops overhead. While she observed him, beads of sweat began forming at his temples. Was he even paler than a few moments ago?
Severus swallowed thickly. “L-Lily? You’re really, uh…”
Her eyes, which had been glued to the page, widened as she registered how close they’d become. When she looked up, their noses were nearly touching, and his shaky breaths against her skin sent tiny shockwaves rippling across it. She scurried backwards, nearly tripping over her robes. When had it gotten so warm..?
“Sorry, Sev! D’you want me to move? I didn’t —“
He fumbled to correct himself. “No! I mean — I didn’t… mind it.”
“Oh.” She coughed suddenly, moving back to where she’d started. “Brilliant. I didn’t either. Mind it, I mean.” For Merlin’s sake. Stop talking and start drawing!
She reached for her quill, but Lily couldn’t focus on the sketch before her. Severus was looking more restless by the second, and she could have sworn he was growing nearer. In fact, she wasn’t sure which of them moved, but they were closer than ever before she knew it.
“Sev, I —“ What was happening to her? Why was time moving so slowly? …What was she meant to be looking at again? His eyes! Right. His eyes… But… something was blocking them, a bit of hair. She brushed it out of his face, only her hand wouldn’t move away after that. It settled on his cheek instead. Then she couldn’t see anything at all — only felt the light pressure of his lips against hers. He was still. So still. Until the faintest touch across her arm, against her hair, snapped her back to reality. She pulled away with a soft exhale, everything wonderfully muddled.
“I couldn’t… see your eyes. Maybe,” she swallowed a warm rush of emotion bubbling up in her throat, “if we try that again.”
Severus nodded vaguely, as though seeing her through a thick fog. His face had gone redder than her hair. “Y-yeah…”
Lily’s free hand cupped his other cheek as she drew him back in. His skin was fire against her palms, and she smiled into the kiss. She’d been beyond frustrated the week before at not being able to conjure a Patronus during DADA. Her life wasn’t all sunshine and roses by any means, but she reckoned she had a fair share of happy memories! But nothing she’d thought up then compared to this moment. She wanted to hold it close, to store it in a Pensieve and live it over and over again. They were finally forced apart when the need for air arose. Their limbs seemed to grow heavier as the distance increased, like an invisible string bound them together. Severus blinked once then twice, an uncharacteristic grin plastered on his face. The adoration in his eyes was blinding as the sun overhead, and Lily wondered how she could have missed it before.
“Are you alright?” she asked teasingly. “You’re… smiling.”
Severus scoffed and shook his head. An unsteady hand raked through his hair, moving down to hover just shy of her cheek. “Alright? Lily, you just — I’ve got to be dreaming…”
She leaned into his side, latching onto a stiff arm. “You’re not. I’ll pinch you if you like!”
“I-I don’t want to wake up, believe me! D’you — I mean, does this mean you… fancy… me?” It sounded as though he were deciphering a particularly challenging language.
Lily burst out laughing. “That’s what I wanted to get across! I don’t go round kissing just anyone. Next thing you know, I’ll be snogging James Potter, professional toerag!”
Severus didn’t find that idea half so amusing. He scanned the immediate area without speaking, a harsh shadow of determination crossing his face. Lily sighed. She didn’t have to think twice as to what (or who) he was searching for: The Marauders.
“Detention, the lot of them,” she supplied. Then, more indignant. “And I’m not blind, Sev. Or stupid. You’ve got to let me help when they bully you!”
The air around them went cold—Lily thought she was imagining things until patches of ice spread rapidly across the base of the tree behind her. In the midst of Spring. She didn’t think Severus was even aware.
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help!”
His expression darkened into something sinister as the ice crept higher and higher. This was the Severus that delighted in dark magic, in curses and hexes of the worst sort. That sought revenge against his tormentors the way a parched Hippogriff might seek a desert oasis. Not the one who was constantly stumbling over his words and blushed when their hands met by accident.
As she rolled her eyes, Lily wondered if she could really have feelings for both of them.
“I know you don’t need it! I want to help because…” He had already guessed as much — why couldn’t she just spit it out? There was one word for it. A dangerous one that meant trust and promises and started with an L. She wasn’t quite ready for that, but she had to start somewhere. “I care about you, Sev. A lot. Seeing you hurt makes me hurt.”
He blanched at Lily’s words. The eyes that looked into hers belonged to a starving man who’d stumbled upon a sumptuous feast. “Lily.” His voice was little more than a whisper. But his gaze drifted past her and onto the frostbitten tree with a start. Now he looked almost frightened. “Did I..?”
She smirked. “You did. An impressive bit of wandless magic, actually.”
Severus swore under his breath. “Sorry,” he scrambled to his feet, voice infused with an unmistakable panic. “I’m so sorry. And I yelled, too. I should —“
“Oh, no, you don’t!” Lily grabbed fistfuls of his shabby robes, determined not to let him escape. Not after all of this. “It happens to us all—you’ll learn to control it. And besides, you didn’t yell until I did! I’ll only forgive you if you forgive me first.” She gave him the look she gave bullies walking past in the corridors, a dare to challenge her. And no one challenged Lily Evans.
Severus slid back down in defeat, though the tension that left his form suggested relief. “Forgive you?” he laughed breathlessly. “I really am dreaming… But alright. I—I forgive you, Lily.”
“I forgive you, too.”
And that was enough for now. Another wave of quiet washed over the pair as Lily leaned into his chest. His breathing grew more laboured at her nearness.
“And about what you said. Earlier,” he continued, clearing his throat with some difficulty. “I care about you, too. More than you could ever know.”
She placed a warm hand atop his. “Then let me in, Sev. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
“…I’ll try,” he mumbled, looking down at how their skin touched. “For you, I’ll try.”
“Promise?”
He gave her fingers a squeeze and offered a faint smile. “Promise.”
This was it! A real start for them, the beginning of… something. Severus Snape never said what he didn’t mean. Before Lily could stop herself, she went up on her knees and pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth. The ghost of a grin that had been there broadened into something foreign: sheer happiness.
“That’s better. We can’t have you looking miserable for your picture, after all!”
He shook his head incredulously. “Still working on that, are you?”
“Of course I am! But I think it might have to wait another day,” she mused, pulling him in so their lips met once more. “I’ve found something better to do.”