Chapter Text
"But why just them??" Foreman asked with a hint of anger in his voice.
"Beacause you are annoying. And they are daddies favorite!" House answered, sticking his tongue out and putting his arms on chase's and thirteenth shoulders. The two stood there frozen, weirded out too.
"Enjoy the conference!" Taub said, raising his brows at them and smiling. "Good luck with house!" He said, smirking, before leaving the room.
"Hey! Hey! You gnome! what do you MEAN by that!??!" House yelled, swinging his cane in the air with mock anger.
Thirteen and chase exchanged glances. This was about to be a long week.
...........................................
When chase and thirteen walked to house's apartment the next day, bright and early and holding large suitcases they didn't know what to expect. Wilson was as kind as usual, helping them with their luggage and even offering them some store bought coffee before house came down, looking like he just rolled out of bed and holding a suitcase with a few suspiciously large bags.
He hummed in response to their greeting and motioned them to come sit in Wilson's car before grinning widely.
" look what your daddy got just for you two!" He said, holding out a huge bag
For a few horrifying seconds he just stood there, grinning, while they contemplated the possible outcome. It could've been anything- from donuts to cocaine. Or maybe a mummified embryo.
Wilson laughed , easing their speculations for a moment, before house finally handed them the bag.
To their amusement, it was filled with old toys. Anything from cars to dolls to crayons and plushies. There was quite a lot and they just looked at both Wilson and house with a stunned silence.
"Oh cmon kids! I just got you some entertainment for the trip! Remember, no fighting! " house said, getting into the passenger sit.
Thirteen and chase exchanged glances. Chace shrugged and went to look in the toy bag while thirteen looked at him weirdly.
"Remy, honey? Whats wrong? There's plenty of barbies in there! You could make then scissor!" House said, turning to look at her.
Thirteen rubbed her eyes tiredly before deciding to go along. Chase still had his arms in the toy bag and she joined him.
Before long, they had a barbie house out and a little barbie family with two kids and a cat living in there. It was surprisingly a lot of fun.
"How COULD you cheat on me!??!" Thirteen said in a high pitched voice, raising the dolls arms up before making her fall to the floor dramatically. "You monster!!"
" you cheated first! You unholy woman! You witch! " chase exclaimed, trying his best to make the stiff doll arms make the sign of the cross.
"Mummy! Look I can do a cartwheel!" Chase said in a high pitched, bad posh british accent, holding a boy doll instead.
House opened one eye. "Knew you're british.." he mumbled, half asleep. Wilson snickered behind the wheel.
Thirteen took the husband doll from chase. " great job! Your mom is an athlete too appreantly! Opening her legs to every man in Nottingham!" She said, kicking the wife doll using the husband's leg.
"Isn't that where batman lives?!" Chase said with the horrible little British boy voice again.
Thirteen nearly bended over laughing before taking the mom doll. " No! you imbecile! That's Gotham! You're stupid! just like your dear father!" She said, turning the dolls back rather dramatically.
Chase snickered before dropping the dolls. He took out a wrapped sandwich from his bag and offered thirteen the other half.
"No no no! You're not being proper kids! We have to get our lunch from McDonald's you dummies! None of that healthy bullshit, robbie!" House exclaimed, taking the sandwiches away.
House went all in. He ordered happy meals for them both and they all sat down by a picnic table, house with his arm around chase, pushing him towards his portion.
"I'm not eating this crap." Chase said, looking at the burger with disgust. " 'ts okay, rob," thirteen said, her mouth full.
" you little dummy. You get picky TO get mcdonalds not the other way around! Wilson! That is the result your education!" Houspe exclaimed, holding a burger to chase's lips.
"Cmon! Open up! Say ahhhh!" He continued until chase finally took a bite of it.
"Tastes like rubber. Mcdonalds is even worse in America." He scrunched his face in disgust, forcibly swallowing his food.
"Don't be a snob, chase." Thirteen said, dipping a French fry in ketchup.
After what seemed like eternity chase finally finished around half of his kid meal. He put the tiny chipmunk plushie in his front pocket before pushing the rest of the food to thirteen. "Go ahead. Poison yourself. " he said, slightly nauseous already.
After that, they went back to the car and colored for a while. Chase hadn't done this since kindergarten and had a lot of fun. Even when thirteen claimed that he colors like a color blind two year old, which got house to turn around and say "no fighting. Don't worry kiddo, I will put them both on the fridge anyways. "
Chase smirked at her, before adding some private organs to the puppy that she was coloring with care. She frowned for a second, before taking a pink crayon and coloring this part too, Correcting the anatomy.
After around half an hour thirteen started feeling sleepy. Her stomach filled with heavy food and the car motion slowly lulling her to sleep.
She yawned widely, not bothering to cover her mouth and stretched her arms, yawning again the next second. Wilson silently passed her a blanket and she tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in .
Chase momentarily stopped coloring his messy clashing color masterpiece to rub his eyes with a slight yawn. Thirteen was about to say something rude about his eyes hurting from looking at his artwork, before noticing how his inviting his left shoulder looked.
She quickly unclasped her seat belt and scooted to the middle seat. He squinted his eyes at her as she leaned her head on his shoulder, wrapping herself with the blanket. Chase took one end and snuggled in the blanket too, before yawning widely , his sudden inhale causing thirteen's head to bob .
After about two minutes both of them were fast asleep. Chase had his arm around her shoulders to steady her and thirteen mumbling something in her sleep.
After a few more minutes house woke up from his own nap only to coo at the sight of them cuddled together.
Wilson stopped the car momentarily to switch with house, but house took this time to ruffle their hair and take selfies with them.
After Wilson was finally resting in the passenger sit with house driving, there wasn't a word said apart from house's music and an occasional mumble or snore.
.................................................
When they had arrived to the hotel and house woke them up with an ear piercing, high volume, Britney spears song both chase and thirteen were still half asleep.
Thirteen kept stumbling and chase held her up to the best of his ability, accidentally walking into a wall.
They didn't protest to being in one room together so house quickly sent them up with their suitcases. Wilson going after them, to make sure they actually arrive to their room and not lay down in the elevator or something.
Before long, they were both showered, wearing pajamas and laying on the twin beds. They fell asleep in seconds despite sleeping for almost five hours during the car ride.
.......................................................
After two or three hours chase discovered that his stomach did not like American fast food too. His body did its best to expell the evil oil from both ends and chase spent the rest of the night in the toilet. Thirteen finally woke up at around four am and helped him wash his face, before dragging him back to bed with a trashcan. She ran her fingers through his hair for a few seconds, before collapsing back to her bed , fast asleep.