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The moment Tsukuyo sees the kunoichi hurriedly running toward her, she puffs out a cloud of smoke from her kiseru, and greets her with pleasantries, the best she could muster: “Oh, it’s you.”
The sky is tinted with bright orange; the weather lady seemingly failed to predict this meteorological phenomenon occurring today. Certain silver-haired samurai would call her out of her offense of calling the weather lady a failure, but he’s not here to be the weather lady’s white knight, making Tsukuyo continue her sentence as Sacchan tries to calm his breathing, “Weather lady got her forecast wrong again.”
The rain is not that harsh though; in fact, one could break through it and nothing of value would be drenched by the rainwater. Tsukuyo decided to take shelter anyway because she’s not in a hurry to get back to Yoshiwara.
“I’m well aware you can’t do 100% correct weather prediction all the time unless you can do something like weather divination or s—"
“You’re so cruel, Tsukki! What about asking ‘how are you’ or ‘how’s your day’?! It’s been so long since we last saw each other, and you just brushed me off like that?!”
“Well.” Tsukuyo turns her heel toward the kunoichi, “How’s your day?”
“Terrible! Thanks for asking!”
She certainly looks terrible. It’s easy to miss since her face is covered with sweat mixed with the light droplets of rain from earlier, but living in Yoshiwara for so long and growing up witnessing numerous women put up a tough charade so she would leave them to deal with the pain alone, Tsukuyo can tell she’s trying to hide the fact that she just witnessed something unpleasant.
It was so unpleasant, in fact, that it made her cry.
Tsukuyo is not one for this kind of thing—to console a woman requires a heartfelt, heart-to-heart conversation between two women. She is no longer a woman. It is not her first time seeing a woman cry, or a woman pretending to be tough to will the pain away. It won’t be the last time, either. At this point, she has already made peace with the fact that she cannot stop all women from loving another only to be wronged and betrayed.
The least she could do is protect them while they cry their hearts out until they can get back up again. Again, and again, and again—
"Had a terrible day too.” She closes her eyes as she inhales the scent of tobacco from her smoking pipe. Beside her, Sacchan wiped away the sweat from her brow and chin as she stood up straight once again. Tsukuyo want to point out how she did not clear up the fog formed on her purple-framed glasses, but it’s probably not that important from her point of view.
“Oh really? What happened to you?”
“I was waiting for the rain to stop, then a woman came up to me.” she sighed, letting Sacchan’s glare settle. “Having her around is not a good sign because that usually means I will be dragged into some sort of shenanigans or a traumatic tear-jerking experience for a few episodes be—”
“Alright, I get it; you don’t want to hang out with me.”
“I never said that.”
“You clearly implied that!”
Tsukuyo chuckles, “I don’t mind a little bit of fun or a character development arc. So, what happened to you?”
Sacchan let out a long, indignant sigh. Tsukuyo let the silence loom above them, knowing that her impatient attentiveness would only discourage Sacchan from opening up—some of the women in Yoshiwara would rather be left alone when she demanded to tell her who hurt them. Patience is key, and she’s in no rush to go back. There is plenty of time to loiter around and hear Sacchan’s story.
She leans on the wall behind her back. Teeth biting on the tip of her pipe—a bad habit to crush her anxiety regarding her ability to console a woman. She needs to let go of it, but she can’t help it.
“Tsukki.”
“Yes?”
“...what do you think about the Bleach ending? You think it’s fine, right?”
Huh?
“W-well....”
Which one is Bleach again...?
“...oh, the one with soul society and ‘bankai’, or something like that, right?”
“Yeah! So do you think Ichigo and Orihime deserve that ending? It’s good, right?! There’s nothing wrong with Ichigo marrying the best girl. I mean—who the fuck likes tsundere these days, right, right, Tsukki?!”
She clears her throat. Well. This is clearly a test from god itself—aside from being the strongest woman in Yoshiwara, she is also god’s strongest soldier now. There’s no way she could make Sacchan feel better about Bleach's ending because she’s on the other team. There’s just no way she’s going to lie to make someone feel better about their dumb stance.
She (fake) coughs, “A-ah, which one is Bleach again...? The one with hokage and nine-tailed dragon...?”
“YOU—! You just said you know what’s Bleach! ALSO, IT’S NINE-TAILED FOX NOT DRAGON!” Sacchan crosses her arms, refusing to face Tsukuyo anymore. The leader of the Hyakka cast her eyes down to the puddle of water forming near her foot under the sidewalk; somehow it became more interesting as the silence stretched longer. As expected, she’s terrible at this.
“...we can still be friends, right?”
Sacchan sighed.
“Yeah....”
Then, another silence. Tsukuyo can’t tell whether she should be grateful or not that it’s still raining.
“Besides, not all the best girls get the man in the end. You’re still yourself, with or without your best man in your life.”
“You’re still making fun of Orihime, aren’t you, Tsukki?!”
“I mean—j-just because you’re much better than your rival... i-it doesn’t guarantee anything. Your crush can be dumber than a rock, and that wasn’t your fault. Just treat it like... uh, as if you win the lottery but lost the ticket, and try again.”
"Somehow that makes me feel even worse. You’re terrible at analogies, Tsukki.”
“C-can’t help it. I never win the lottery.”
Well, at least Sacchan is no longer grimacing like she wants to kill someone now. Yet still, it troubles her, for now Sacchan look at her with pity all over her expression.
“Not even once?”
“It gets in the way.” it gets in the way, she told herself. Falling in love is a luxury for women, not hers. She contemplates her feelings toward Gintoki for a long time, pondering whether this is the love that all those women felt before they were betrayed. Yet she does not feel weak because of the bond they shared—so it can’t be love. Perhaps it’s simply admiration.
Love makes women open to exploitable weaknesses, and she cannot afford that, especially because there are things she must protect.
“Don’t think you’re so cool because of that, Tsukki.”
“I’m not.”
Sacchan puffs out her cheeks. “Fine, guess I’ll say I lost the ticket to Gin-san’s heart.”
Oh, so it is about Gintoki.
Curious, she began her attempt to pry into Sacchan’s conquest, “So, what happened?”
Sacchan clenches her fists, and with her voice dripping with venom, she mutters, “It’s that damned police officer's fault—!” her head quickly turned toward her, “Tsukki, is it a popularity thing? Is that why he prefers the third instead of me?!”
“Huh?”
“I mean—is he really into that?! Is chasing after someone turns him on more than being chased by someone?! Am I not masochistic enough compared to—”
“I-I’m not sure I follow....”
“I mean, sure, the best girls can’t always win the protagonist’s heart; otherwise, the romance industry would fall apart by the end of 2045 because they would always use the same formula, and people nowadays need something different to stimulate their slow, rotting brains, but—seriously?! Me, losing to a man?! It fucking hurtsss! Both my pride as a woman and a stalker!”
“...ah, I know.”
“Why are you so calm about this?!”
Sacchan huffs as her breathing comes out ragged and uneven. Tsukuyo shut her eyes to enjoy the warm breeze that blows as the final torrents of rain cam crashing down from the sky. The orange sky still looks stunning. Now she can step out from the shelter with her pipe to gaze upon the gradient sky and be grateful that her eyes could be blessed with something as beautiful as it.
But she did not step out from the shelter.
“Well, you can’t control who other people going to fall in love with. It can’t be helped, it’s not your fault.”
“Tsukki—!”
“I mean, just think of it like this: you can still be the best girl. Who needs a man anyway.”
“What’s the point of being the best girl if I’m not Gin-san’s girlfriend?!” suddenly, she gasped. “Oh, you mean. I can still have him? Like a forbidden love kind of thing? Do you think I should be Gin-san’s mistress? Pursue him despite knowing he’s in a relationship? Be the best side girl?”
“T-that’s not... that’s not it.”
“—the adult side of Gintama, where we explore the forbidden side of romance?! The joy of cuckoldry?! Gotta be honest with you, Tsukki, just thinking about it makes me excited! He’s going to treat me like filth even more, think I’m disgusting for still going after him, yet deep down I know it turns him on. Then, then—he’ll make me unable to XXXXX as he did it with that bakufu dog and I witness him do—”
“T-that’s enough.”
“He can still treat me like a dog and then... and then...!”
God, what a pervert!
“—GYAAAAH THAT’S ENOUGH GIN-SAN! AH, AH, AHH—PLEASE STOP TEASING ME!”
Tsukuyo slaps her own beet-red face. This is embarrassing.
“I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH!”
“But NTR would certainly boost sales, Tsukki!”
“No, it really won’t! I have to go!” She would evaporate if she stayed there any longer. Too busy covering her burning face, she accidentally steps on a puddle. The water splashed into her clothes and her sandals, but she did not care as she tried to cover her ears from Sacchan’s further rants about how NTR is the supreme-est genre of all romance anyway, and tsunderes are overrated.
Without looking back as she briskly took her step away from the awkward encounter, she said, “Good day, Ayame!"
“No! Tsukki! Come back! We can be Gin-san’s side chicks together! Let's crush that dog together!"
Sacchan chase after Tsukuyo, and not long after, Tsukuyo can be seen flustered all over as she yells out, "I DON'T WANT TO!"