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Sometimes, late at night, he’d like to creep out of his room and sit on the rail of the balcony.
Sometimes, he’d stare up at the stars and feel the cool breeze hit his skin through the thin nightshirt he wore.
It reminded him of back then, when he’d look up to the stars to conceal his tears, only allowing himself to let them flow freely long after the others were asleep.
He doesn’t remember when, but he gained the reputation of being a nightowl, friends joking about how he was always so cheery despite the lack of sleep.
He preferred the image of him that the others had. It was much more pleasant compared to how he really was.
Even if it hurt him, he’d make sure that they all smiled brightly. He’d push through his own pain until tears no longer spilled from others’ eyes.
But he supposed those tears had to go somewhere.
So he sat there under the stars and sobbed. He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until he couldn’t anymore. Until he could barely breathe, and his face was stained red with blotches left from the burning liquid that ran from his eyes.
Even now that he was grown, he still released his worries into the night sky, the one constant companion that he never feared burdening with his sorrows. Sometimes he’d joke to himself that the cold, peaceful night sky was his oldest friend.
The stars were there for him through the good and bad, during the wars and death and his wishes that the sky would swallow him whole. Those nights were always the hardest, the screams and cries, begging Naga to let him go, to let the grass absorb him so he could reunite with the ones he loved once more.
Those times are long past now, but he still finds himself reminiscing on cold nights like these.
And once more, he’s the little boy asking the sky for answers as he screamed and clawed at his skin. He’s the little boy who prayed to a goddess who never listened to his pleas for release.
A bitter laugh escapes his lips when he thinks back to those times. He wonders if a younger him would believe what his life becomes as he sits here.
He can’t help it when he glances backward, trying to catch a glimpse of the man he loves, peacefully sleeping from the door he left slightly ajar on his way out.
He wouldn’t creep back into bed until his cherished friends disappeared and the sun started to peak out from the rocky mountains it hid behind, grabbing onto its last hour or so of quiet rest before it had to work once more and make the people happy. He chuckled lightly. Him and the sun were the same in that regard, he mused.
And so, with the stars gone, he slips back inside to enjoy those last few hours he has in the arms of his lover before work forces them to part for the day. He quickly casts a glance back behind him towards the sun, and smiles as it warms his face. For once, he is perfectly content parting with the stars.