Chapter Text
“Chuuya reminds me of sun, a ball of fire, bright but deadly, so beautiful that it’s ugly….” Chuuya looks at Dazai with wide eyes, he’s holding his Xth whiskey and smiling softly at the ceiling. Chuuya has never saw him like this and for a second he wonders if Dazai maybe means it- “Sun is and looks big though, so Chuuya must be a star- a sun that looks so small, but in reality it’s much bigger than it seems…” Alright, normally Chuuya would yell and hit Dazai for the comment about his height but the way Dazai said it, sounding almost poetic….
“Hey Dazai, …let’s go stargazing….” He whispers before he can think better of it. The taller male smiles even brighter, gaze still aimed at the ceiling as if he could truly see the stars there. “Yeah- let’s do that” He agrees and Chuuya gapes. He has no idea what he expected but certainly not this. It must be the alcohol talking for Dazai, Chuuya decides and smiles sadly at his own glass. “Heh, really? How much did you drink?” Dazai looks at him with that weird smile that was reserved for the celling till now and his eyes…
….his eyes aren’t empty. “Not enough to forget this promise. You better remember it too Chuuya. I’ll take you stargazing… so don’t go without me.” With that Dazai gets up…and he’s gone.
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“WHAT THE HELL YOU BASTARD?!” Chuuya yells when another stock of papers flies next to his head. “What is it? Afraid it’ll hit you and restore some of your intelligence?” Dazai snaps coldly.
“I don’t think I’m the one in need of more intelligence” That’s a lie- Chuuya knows Dazai is the smarter one, a genius even, and he’s frankly, quite dumb. But damn it he won’t just take shit like this. “We’re supposed to steal it secretly!” He reminds Dazai but the latter just looks at him like he’s the biggest idiot ever.
“We were supposed to get in secretly. They’ll know it was stolen either way, it doesn’t matter if I make a mess.” The other answers just as sharply as before.
“Jeez, no need to be an ass about it. And hurry the fuck up your useless suicidal bastard. Aren’t you supposed to be a genius when you’re so keen on calling me dumb”
Dazai’s eyes snap to him and if gaze could kill Chuuya would drop dead in an instant. “I don’t even have to talk to you, you know, so stop being overdramatic. If you want it so fast why don’t you join in instead of standing there like a pile of meat- talk about who’s useless. And I didn’t call you dumb, I implied it.”
“As if that’s better idiot! I’m staying on guard mackerel; someone needs to be ready in case they come in.”
Dazai does actually ignore him this time. He starts searching more frantically but Chuuya can tell it’s not because of his nagging, rather it’s to be done sooner and therefore escape talking with Chuuya.
Chuuya feels a pang in his heart at the realization. Because Dazai looked like he honestly didn’t want to even so much as be in the same room with him. And that hurt, surprising as it may be. Chuuya doesn’t understand why it burns, he hates Dazai- right? He loves arguing and insulting Dazai. He loves trying to land a hit on the younger the thrill of their fights is like nothing else he’s ever felt.
But in a way, Dazai is everything he has. The only one that hasn’t left- the yet that levitates around the hasn’t scares Chuuya more than he is comfortable admitting; even to himself. The way Dazai is staring at him doesn’t appear like he’s reading him for once, he’s clearly just checking whether Chuuya is still there while not particularly caring either way. His eyes are reddish brown and empty, the stare of the demon prodigy.
Chuuya’s pretty sure he stopped breathing. Dazai never looks at him like that. At the subordinates? Yes. At Akutagawa? Dazai doesn’t look at the poor boy any other way. At boss? All the time. But at Chuuya? That never happened.
And logically Chuuya knew the error was on his partner’s side, they didn’t see each other before the mission and he hasn’t done anything out of what’s normal for their messed up cycle of not-quite-hate.
But Chuuya wasn’t a logical person- he reacted based on emotions and those were screaming at him that he messed up, did something wrong, it’s your fault, it’s your fault, he’ll leave too and it’s your fault.
Chuuya stands frozen lost in his mind until suddenly sharp pain resonates through his cheek.
“ouch fucking bitch. Why is your cheek so hard?” Dazai complains coldly nursing his hand to his chest while stabbing Chuuya with his gaze full of murderous intent. “Some guard you are. Spacing out after you refuse to help out?!”
And he knows that the next thing he does is a mistake but never would he anticipate how grave one- he just had one weak moment alright?!
“Jeez I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s with you today but I’m sorry just please stop treating me like this- I know we hate each other but we’re partners!” He regrets the second the last word leaves his mouth because frankly- what the fuck. He showed emotion in mafia and that’s something you don’t do. Ever. He had a special pass for hid anger- it’s intimidation value being enough for it to be tolerated but this was definitely too much.
Dazai obviously thinks so too because the next second he’s pressing his elbow against Chuuya’s neck the grip also holding the ginger against a wall. “What. Did. You. Just. Say.” He more states than asks.
Useless question, really, with the grip of Dazai’s hand, Chuuya can hardly breathe, let alone talk. Dazai doesn’t seem to mind. “Do you trust me Chuuya? Clearly you do, talking to me like I’m some kind of your stupid friend- like the what’s their names you used to talk to? Why are you talking to me and not them? Oh that’ right- they’re dead. Because of you and because of your friendship. Let me give you an advice little pup, you don’t make friends in the port mafia- you don’t trust anyone.” Dazai’s tone, posture, eyes are all manic as he leans down, his teeth just a little distance from Chuuya’s artery, as he whispers the last words. “You’ll do well to remember that.”
With that, he lets go off Chuuya, waving a pile of papers. “As I expected, it was behind Chuuya the whole time” Despite Dazai’s return to his usual behavior, Chuuya was far from returning to his senses. He frantically tries to process what just happened all the while retching on the floor from the sudden return of oxygen. His attacker clicks his tongue unhappily “How disgusting Chuuya, and to think you were bothered about not leaving evidence…” His words don’t have much impact though as Chuuya struggles to even notice them, not understanding anything.
Seeing this, the younger sighs and gently lifts Chuuya, carrying him out in his arms… Chuuya doesn’t register anything but comfortable warmth and unfounded trust. And with this fluffy haze his hurt mind escapes to blissfully unaware sleep.