Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The wind knocked softly against the window, enough to make a persistent noise resonated in my ears. The light colors of the sky promised a sunny day. Looking briefly at my watch, I confirmed that soon would end another of the brief and insufficient breaks we had during the day.

“Mikoshiba.” The voice was familiar, but I had my attention focused elsewhere at that moment.

My fingers were busy with the digital keyboard of my phone, my eyes fixed on the message that had been the first that morning.

[Mayumayu] Morning.

[Mamiko ♡]Good morning! Overslept?

[Mayumayu] Yes.

[Mamiko ♡] This has happened quite a lot recently hum ... It’s my fault for making you stay awake until late at night. (; * △*;)

There was no immediate answer, so I took the chance to focus on the other person who was requesting my attention, and that was now pulling my arm in an impatient way. The girl who called me had dark short hair. She had her head lying on the table, and in her eyes there was nothing but boredom.

“Yes?”

She opened her lips to say whatever it was that was on her mind when the teacher entered the room.

Without saying even a word, I turned forward, now having the board as my focus. Soon class would begin. Still, I could clearly hear Kashima sighing behind me. I had just left the notebook and the case on my desk when I felt my phone shaking in my pocket. Without losing a second, I picked it up and looked at the message I had just received, smiling a little unconsciously.

[Mayumayu] No, I like our conversations.

I ran my fingers over the keyboard, my smile widening more and more.

[Mamiko ♡] If you say so ~ But dnt blame me later! (★^ O ^ ★)

I pressed "send" and put the device in its proper place: on my desk, hidden beneath the case.

The words that the teacher was saying and repeating entered me in one ear and out the other. All I could think about was the possibility of the light flashing at any time, warning of the arrival of a new message. The anxiety was killing me. My heart was beating faster than I would like. Behind me, from time to time, I could hear a reproving sigh.

When the class was over, ending the school day, I began to store my materials. There were no more messages from Mayumayu, no matter how much I waited. She was busy, I convinced myself. I closed the zipper of my bag when Kashima stopped right next to me.

“You were the whole class on the phone.”

I blinked a few times, not knowing exactly what to do with that statement. She wanted an answer?

“Not really.”

“Yes really!” She muttered impatiently. “You didn’t stop for even a minute! Do you think I wasn’t seeing?”

I didn’t know exactly what she wanted me to say, honestly.

“You paid no attention to me!”

Ah. So that was it.

“Sorry?”

“No excuses! You have been ignoring me since morning! In fact, it’s been a while since we had a decent conversation!”

“Are you blaming the cellphone?”

“Yes! Because it is the culprit! And it’s not just me who think you've been exaggerating lately!”

“I think you're thinking too much...”

And with that I withdrew, throwing the backpack over my shoulder and leaving my friend shocked. In a way, I was also angry; outraged at the idea that she was really annoyed about the messages.

What's the problem? I had other friends, and they were not all from the same school. How did they expect me to maintain contact? Telepathy?

And Mayumayu, well…

I leaned on the corridor’s wall, hiding my flushed face behind one of my hands. Recently, this was been happening with increasing frequency: just thinking about her would make my heart speed up suddenly. I could feel my body hot and it took a while until I was able to control the emotions that should be mine.

But I don’t even know her…

I took a deep breath, feeling the embarrassment slowly leaving my body. It was at this point that another familiar voice echoed in the hall.

“Mikorin!”

I turned around, in the direction of the girl that was coming toward me with a smile, two large red ribbons decorating the strands of her red hair.

“Are you going to Nozaki’s house?”

We walked side by side, directing ourselves to outside the building. It was so good to be free at last.

“Not today. He said I didn’t need to go. I think it will be just you two today.”

The redhead blushed, but didn’t hide her face. Sometimes, I wondered if she knew how red her face could get. However, it wouldn’t be me the one who would speak anything. Also, there was no soul in that school that didn’t know of her feelings, except Nozaki himself. And, frankly, it was already more than time for him to realize. Liking her or not, he owe her an answer.

“Ah, but… I’m almost sure Wakamatsu would come today. So…”

“Oh! Well, good luck.”

“Thanks.” She smiled politely.

We stopped at the gate and, with a nod, I said goodbye to the redhead who went in the opposite direction, running after Nozaki who walked a little ahead. I went my own way, forgetting the colleagues who until then made me company. The sky remained steady, indicating that the weather would be good - good to spend all day playing video games. I've reached the end of the block when I noticed a familiar figure coming toward me.

“Mayu!” I waved, and just then I got the attention of the boy who walked distracted.

“Mikoto-san.”

He looked from me to the school gate, and then back to me. I blinked a few times, not understanding immediately what he meant to say. Although it has been almost six months since we first met, and even though we see each other fairly often, it was still hard to understand him sometimes.

“Nozaki has already gone home, if that's what you want to know.”

He looked at the floor, confirming my suspicions.

“The day to deliver the manuscript is coming. Things are kinda rushed. It will be a battlefield there today.” I explained.

He nodded, saying he had understood the message.

“I'm kinda idle right now...  Do you want to go to my house a little? We can make a quick visit to Nozaki's house later. Maybe bring something for them to eat, I don’t know.

“Thanks.”

A chill ran through my body like an electric current. Mayu's voice was deaper than I remembered. It was strange to have a reactions like that. Very strange. Kind of embarrassing, too. He was growing up, and fast. Very, very fast. And it's not as if he wasn’t already big enough. It's not as if he didn’t have an enviable body... I mean, not that I’m envious. Because I’m not, really. I really don’t care.

But one thing was indisputable: he was becoming a perfect protagonist of shoujo manga. Well, except for his lazy portion. He took the motto "a life without efforts" to complete extremes. Still, I didn’t doubt that Nozaki would use him as inspiration for a character; what I hoped never to be the case, because I didn’t want for others what I didn’t want for myself. It would be totally embarrassing after all.

“So, let's go?” I asked finally.

Mayu again responded with just a nod, and then followed me. The path was not unusual and it wasn’t even the first time we walked it together, but something seemed different. I didn’t know if it was because of me or of him, but it was probably because of Kashima, whose words were now resonating in my head.

Although aware that it wasn’t the best idea, I took my phone out of my pocket and looked discreetly at the screen. I had received a new message from Mayumayu, about fifteen minutes ago. I immediately stopped, surprising Mayu with the sudden stop. But I didn’t like to leave her waiting, so...

“Ah! Wait, Mayu! Let me answer this.”

[Mayumayu] I’d only blame u if u stopped talking 2 me

I feel that, for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. My eyes read and reread the only phrase arranged in the message, again and again. Despite knowing that my face was probably as red as the strands that covered my head, I didn’t hide it. I could care about only one thing at the time, and that was if my heart could handle all that.

“Are you okay, Mikoto-san?”

I covered my mouth with my hands, but that didn’tstop the words from escaping me by my parted lips.

“I think I’m in love.”

Mayu blinked a few times, but remained silent, probably not knowing what to say. I also didn’t know what to speek, or even what to do next. The phone seemed ten times heavier in my hands, that gripped it harder than necessary.

After some time off an uncomfortable silence, Mayu spoke.

“Answer.”

And I saw that it was really the best thing to do. So, I freed my phone from the strong grip and stared at the lighted screen for a few seconds. Mayu was right. Even though I liked her, I couldn’t not answer her just because I was afraid of what would follow. In fact, that was the worst thing to do.

I looked one last time toward Mayu, but he had nothing more to say. Then, I looked back at my phone, took a deep breath and started typing.

[Mamiko ♡] I will never stop talking to you ♡♡♡

I took a deep breath, clutching my phone again between my fingers. I felt relieved, in a way. I think the best part was knowing that Mayu wouldn’t ask me anything, for being "too much work" or something.

I looked toward Mayu, already calmer.

“Thanks.” There was a smile on my lips. “Let’s go?”

He just nodded and we went on our way. Above our heads, the sun shone ever stronger than before. The clouds wandered quietly. The day was perfect.

...

When we got to my house it was a little past one o'clock. After leaving Mayu settled in my room, I walked to the kitchen. As always, none of my parents were at home – they would only return by dinner time  – and thus the only ones present were me, Mayu, Kaori and my collection of figures.

When I returned from the kitchen, a bowl of noodles in each hand, I found Kaori grabbing Mayu’s shirt, who wouldn’t give it the requested attention for being too busy looking closely at one of my figures.

“Kaori, leave him alone.” I grabbed the cat and put it on the floor.

Kaori jumped on my bed and didn't settled down until it felt that my pillow was to its liking. I watched the scene, smiling. I put the dishes on the table and Mayu approached me, leaving the figure aside. As always, I wondered why all this attention to my figures, because I knew he was not like me, he didn’t enjoy these kind of things. But despite knowing that I would get a response if I asked, I kept myslef silent, knowing that sometimes it was better not to know; maybe he wanted to be a mangaka like his brother; and, if so, I really won't want to see myself involved. I already had enough on my hands.

After sitting in front of me, he picked his cell on his pocket. He was probably going to tell his brother that he was with me and that we would go there later. Howerer, he just looked at the phone, blinking a few times before settling his gaze on me.

“Charger ?” He asked.

“Oh, I have one over there, in that drawer.” I said, pointing in the direction of the dresser that was right next to my bed.

He got up and opened the top drawer, picking up from there the charger. Mayu connected his phone into a socket, the screen shining immediately. While he was busy with the device, I took the opportunity to take my own and check on it. However, to my disappointment, there was still no messages from Mayumayu.

She is probably busy. Lunching, maybe.

I decided not to think too much about it. Throwing my phone on the bed in order to forget it, I looked toward Mayu, who, unlike me, apparently had some unread messages. He typed a little and for a moment I thought I saw a smile on his lips; he even seemed somewhat embarrassed. Maybe it was a girl, a classmate. But considering we're talking about Mayu, it could well be an older woman, a university student, for example.

But despite all my curiosity, I kept my mouth shut. The reason? I felt I would have to talk about Mayumayu and I didn't know if I was ready.

Mayu put down his cell phone beside mine, stopping for a moment as if thinking about something, and sat back down at the table. Kaori got up and jumped to the ground, roaming around until seeking comfort in my lap. I caressed the cat, that meowed approvingly.

“Kaori is a strange name for a cat.” Mayu said before taking some noodles to his mouth. “Male, moreover.”

I shrugged, knowing that this was somehow true. But I used to be a stubborn child. And if I wanted a cat named Kaori, so be it.

We ate in silence. The sounds of tableware our only company.

...

“Just let me get changed and we’ll leave” I told the brunette, who was anxiously waiting for me at the bedroom’s door. He nodded and withdrew, giving me some privacy. Kaori followed behind him.

I rummaged through the cupboards, looking for a change of clothes. I wore the first jeans I could find and a simple white T-shirt.. I rolled his eyes around the room, trying to see if I was forgetting anything and realizing that yes, I was forgetting something, something very important: the cellphones. It would be a problem if Mayu forgot his at my house.

I walked over to my bed, feeling my heart jump the moment I saw a light flashing on my phone. A new message. I reached the cell, but almost dropped it because my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

Calm down. You don't even know if it's really her... I pressed a few buttons, a broad smile taking over my lips. It's her!

It was strange to be so happy. Love was strange.

[Mayumayu] Happy to know that (^▽^)

She sent an emoticon! She never sends emoticons!

I had the urge to scream, to shout that this was the best feeling in the world. I wanted to tell her how I felt. To say that I loved her and wanted to be with her forever. On the other hand, I knew that this involved confessing that I had lied all this time. I would have to say that not only I was not called Mamiko, but also that I was not even a girl. There was even the risk of her thinking that I was just fooling around, or that I was trying to take advantage of her someway. That was my biggest fear.

What should I do now?

I was afraid that telling the truth would make her back off. But if things continued like this, this white lie would turn into a huge snowball and would be even worse in the future.

I was already into a tailspin when Mayu’s words came to my mind. All this desperation wouldn’t help. First, I had to answer her. Then, it would be good to talk to Sakura, because maybe she knew what to do; I hoped she knew, because I didn’t, even with all my experience. I had never played a route like that, and I didn’t want to do wrong on my first try, knowing that it might be my only chance.

I took a deep breath and started typing.

[Mamiko ♡] I love our conversations ~ I hope they will continue forever! ヽ (* ≧ ω ≦) ノ

I put the phone in my pocket and directed myself to the door. I was mostly out of the room when I stopped abruptly.

“The cellphone!” I spun on my heels, turning around and heading towards the bed. “It may have charged a bit…” I thought, while I unplugged Mayu’s phone from the charger. “Oh, he received a message. Well, better take it to him already”.

“Mikoto-san?” The boy’s deep voice echoed in the house.

“Going!” I shouted in response.

I hurried to where he was waiting. I handed him the phone, which he seemed satisfied to recover, and then we left. The sky remained clear.

...

I rang the doorbell and waited. Mayu, beside me, remained silent. He used his mobile, his body leaned against the wall. The door opened, revealing a quite tired Sakura. Without a word of welcome, she gave us her back and returned to the room, where they worked. Mayu closely followed and I went after then soon after locking the door.

When I caught up to then, Sakura was already back to her place on the low table where Nozaki and Wakamatsu were drawing. Mayu looked for something in a closet, probably a charger. I stayed silent, only watching them. The silence was interrupted when Nozaki realized my presence.

“Ah, Mikoshiba.”

I approached him, walking a few steps.

“Need some help?”

“There’s not much for you to do yet, but feel free to take a look.” You could tell how tired he was just by his voice. He probably didn’t sleep much in the last few days.

I sat down on the empty seat between Sakura and Nozaki. Looking around, I could see that things were not going very well. By the amount of crumpled drafts scattered on the floor, the problem was on the very development of the plot.

“Problems to continue?” I asked, somewhat worried.

I pulled a few sheets that were scattered on the table and looked at the content. Mamiko apparently had gotten herself lost during a trip she had made with her friends during the holidays. In the last pages, Suzuki found her in tears, sat on a bench in a square. "I'll meet as many times as you need," he said. And then, finally, they hugged and he kissed her.

I blinked a few times, not seeing any problems. I faced Nozaki, who seemed stressed about something. He sketched nonstop on a sheet, and things didn't seem to be going well.

“Nozaki?”

He moved up his eyes from the sheet. He really was quite stressed.

“What is the problem with the manustript?”

He blinked a few times, as if he didn’t understand the question.

“None.” He said, finally. “Found anything?”

“Oh, no. You see, when I arrived, it seemed like that was the problem.” I gestured the room covered with crumpled paper balls.

“Ah, right. It’s just that Ken-san said I should think about an extra chapter and…” He pauses briefly, frowning. “Well, he said it would be nice if it were about that couple.”

“That?” I had one of my eyebrows raised.

“Yes, that…” Nozaki’s mood seemed to have only worsened.

“And what’s the problem?”

“They shouldn’t be together! Never! She should never find out the truth behind the mysterious boy!

“So... Hum... You said that to your editor, to Ken-san?”

“Yes.” Nozaki nodded. “But he said they were quite popular, more than Suzuki and Mamiko lately, and that it would be a mistake not to listen to the fans.”

“I don’t understand why you repudiate them so much. They look good together. I like them, too.” I spoke with sincerity. Nozaki looked at me in a way that made me feel like I had committed some big heresy.

“They don’t know each other! He's just a guy in a cellphone and they want her to fall in love with him?! I don’t know how that could be possible!”

Those words hurt more than they should. Mayu, who had settled on the couch, watched the scene with attention. Wakamatsu and Sakura had also stopped what they were doing to listen to the words of their colleague.

“I agree with Nozaki! I also think it’s nonsense!” Wakamatsu said, in support of Nozaki, but all he got was an unhappy look from the mangaka. Confused and somewhat upset, he lowered his head and went back to focus on the sheet that was in front of him.

“I already said what I think.” Sakura said, impatiently, and went back to work.

“And what exactly do you think?” I asked, suddenly feeling quite nervous.

She looked at me and the coldness in her eyes gave me a chill. She dropped the pen on the table and folded her arms.

“I see no problem in she falling in love with him, or he with her. They are a couple who came close very quickly and, in a way, they have a strong bond of trust. And if you ask me, they're perfect for each other.”

“They would never work out!”

The harsh words from Nozaki only angered Sakura further. The redhead hit her hand on table, surprising Wakamatsu, who, by then, had already left the real world in a separate plan to focus on his work.

“I'll buy something for us to eat!”

She got up and left the room before I could understand exactly what was happening. Nozaki said nothing more and just went back to his work. I looked around, but no one seemed to know what to do. Even Mayu seemed somewhat shocked by their fight. Well, it's true that no one expected such a thing.

Seeing that no one moved, I got up and ran after Sakura, but she had already slammed the door before I could reach her. I opened the door and went after her, grabbing her wrist a few meters away from the house.

“Sakura!” I called her, worried.

When she turned around, she had tears in her eyes and a sad expression in her face. Now, I saw myself without knowing what to do. But she didn’t gave me time to panic.

“Nozaki-kun is a big idiot! The greatest idiot!” She said between sobs, throwing herself in my chest.

Surprised, I remained without knowing what to do. Should I hug her, give her friendly slaps on her back? What the hell was I supposed to do in this situation?!

Realizing that we were calling more attention than I would like, I pulled her away from me and held her by the hand, leading her to a small, hidden square that I had discovered a few weeks before. It was a good place to talk because there was never anyone there.

I sat her on one bench. She was still quite agitated and needed to calm down a bit before I could get myself involved in the matter; I was afraid of making her feel pressured by my questions and worsening the situation.

“I think I'll go buy some things to take to Nozaki’s, and a bottle of water for you.” I said after a while, messing with the red strands of my head. I looked at her, but not directly. “Will you be fine?”

“Yes, you can go.” She rubbed her swollen eyes.

“Are you sure?...”

“Just go already, Mikoshiba!”

Taking her outburst as a sign that she herself would enjoy some time alone, I directed myself toward the convenience store, located on the parallel street. With hurried steps, soon I've had the goods in hands, waiting my turn in the checkout line.

“That's it.” I said as soon as it was my turn.

Hurrying the employer more than I knew to be appropriate, I took money from the wallet I carried in my pocket, next to the phone, and handed it to him. When I got my change, I run back to the square, finding Sakura exactly where I had left her. She seemed to have calmed down a bit, which reassured me.

“Sorry. Did I take too long?”

She shook her head. I sat next to the redhead who seemed sad, which was not in her nature. She was always so cheerful... Surely, the fight was more than it appeared, because I knew that Sakura was not the type to lose control and then feel depressed about silly stuff, especially when the other party was her beloved Nozaki. While I thought on how to best approach the subject, she herself initiated it.

“Sorry about that.” She whispered, while looking down. “It was not a beautiful sight to see…”

I nodded, wanting to assure her that it was fine.

“I'm more worried about you right now. Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened? I'm sure the fight is much more than it seems, because you've never been the kind to meddle in Nozaki’s work.”

She looked up and stared at me with a pair of big bright eyes, two of the most vivid purple crystals. Her lips moved restless, perhaps she was uncertain about how exactly to answer my question. Finally, she decided to spit the words as they were in her head, all at once.

“It’s Waka and Yuzuki!” The words came out in one breath. “He won’t support them, even though it’s so obvious!”

I blinked a few times, confused. I still didn’t see enough reason for her to be so angry.

“What?”

She seemed to realize that I was not understanding her point, so she went on, her words still coming out stumbling.

“Isn’t it obvious, Mikorin?! He doesn’t think that Yuzuki deserves Wakamatsu! Nozaki is saying that my best friend is unworthy!”

Oh.

“Oh, well…” Caught off guard, I found myself with no reaction beyond scratching the back of my neck; an old habit of mine, that would come back when I felt like I was in a complicated situation. “You are right. That was not very nice. But Wakamatsu didn’t seem to mind... Maybe you're reading too much between the lines?”

“Of course not, Mikoshiba!” Great, I pissed her. “And the point is not Wakamatsu, but Yuzuki! He hates her, hates completely! The person I love hates my best friend!”

“Oh, come on... It's not like that…”

The expressions on her face became more strict. Her face was red with rage and a few tears were accumulating in the corners of her eyes.

“Of course you will take his side!”

She was already getting up when I pulled her shirt, causing her to fall back on the bench. She looked at me with even angrier expressions than before.

“Oh, sorry!” I raised my hands, letting go of her right away. I took advantage of her silence in order to express myself. “Listen, Sakura, I'm on your side. Especially because I find totally valid the idea of falling in love with someone you don’t know personally. I think Wakamatsu can seriously fall in love with Seo when he finds out that she is Lorelei.”

She remained silent. I took it as I sign for me to continue.

“I think we should wait and see what will happen. You're right, Nozaki was not fair, but I think it's no use fighting about such a thing. In the end, everything is exclusively in the hands of those involved, and no one else. And if the Waka likes Lorelei's voice as I think he likes, it will be a matter of time before he is in love with the owner of the voice.

Sakura opened a soft smile, which infected me. It was good to see her back to normal.

“Thank you, Mikorin. You are right. And who knew your games really had a use!”

“Err, actually…” I turned away, not believing that I would approach the matter like that. “I've kind of met someone... And, well…”

Her features 's lighted up. She looked genuinely happy. She grabbed my hands, holding them tightly between hers.

“Really?! That’s so nice! Who? Do I know her?”

I looked around, somewhat embarrassed, but not even a bit regretfull. I knew I was right in my choice. Sakura was the best person for me to discuss this issue and to ask for advice.

“Well, her name is Mayumayu. She's younger and from another school and…“

“Wait!”

She interrupted me, letting go of my hands and raising one in a request for a time-out. She looked quite shocked.

“You don’t know her?”

“Well, it’s been some months since I first exchanged messages with her... I met her at this site and…”

“Mikorin, you've never seen her in person? Not even once?” She had a serious tone of voice, and it was starting to intimidate me. Being interrupted so often wasn’t helping either.

“Well, no, but…”

“Sorry, I can't support you. You are being deceived. I’m sure of it”

If I had not heard it with my own ears, I would never have believed that Sakura had really said all that.

“But Mayumayu…”

“Mikoshiba, listen. You can’t say you're in love when you haven’t even met her.

“Why not? Even if we never met, we are always talking! She is quiet and lovely! She is everything I ever wanted! A girl with whom I can talk while being myself!”

My teeth ground. I stared at the floor, unable to look her in the eye.

“And what about all that talk of bond, of trust, that you spoke at Nozaki’s? Was it just lip service?”

I got up, harshly. It was my turn to be annoyed. I felt betrayed, and by Sakura moreover. What about all the trust that I deposited in her?

“Wait, Mikorin!” Sakura stood up, clutching the shopping bag that I had left behind, and dashed out behind me. “Mikorin!”

Ignoring the girls’s words, I remained running and I only stopped when I bumped against an obstacle. The ground was hard and uncomfortable. When I looked up, what I found was a pair of black eyes staring at me intently. I took a deep breath, feeling a part of my anger dissipate, although I didn’t really understand why. A hand reached out and unconsciously I grabbed it. When I found myself standing up, I saw that it was Mayu’s hand that I held firmly.

“Ah, thanks. And sorry. And... Did you hear anything?”

Mayu wasn’t saying anything and that was making me more anxious each second. Sakura only watched the scene, somewhat distant. I begged for someone to say something, or to a meteor to fall on my head at that very moment.

Noticing that I was still holding his hand, I tried to get rid of the contact, feeling a little embarrassed for only have realized that little detail now. Then, I realized it was not me who was holding his hand, but the other way around. His fingers tightened over mine, in sign of resistance.

“Err… Mayu…”

He pulled me, forcefully. Initially, thinking I would fall back on the hard floor, I closed my eyes in anticipation. However, what I found was the warmth offered by two open arms, which involved me carefully. When I realized what was happening, I found myself speechless, my face burning more than ever. But as much as I wanted to protest, the shock had taken my strength away. I was at the mercy of those arms.

“Mikoto…”

His voice against my ear caused me a shiver.

“What... What are you doing?” I asked, finally.

“You are crying.”

I blinked a few times and wiped my teary eyes. To say that I cried was an exaggeration. It was only a few tears.

“It's nothing. Got something in my eye, that's all.”

He said nothing for a while and silence didn’t collaborate at all to my nervousness. With my head stuck in his chest, I could clearly hear his heart beat in a slow and steady pace. It would be nice, if it was not in a situation like that, with Sakura looking and all. Not that it would be okay if we were alone. What I mean is that it wouldn’t be bad if it was, you know... Mayumayu. My God, why am I thinking about her right now? But I didn’t have time to embarrass myself or to daydream for much longer because Mayu soon let go. Sakura, who watched it all without getting involved, finally took courage to approach us.

“Mikorin, are you all right?” Her voice was full of concern.

“I’m fine…”

“Do you really love her?”

I looked at Mayu, my mouth half open. Sakura also seemed surprised. He really knew how to be pretty straightforward. We limited ourselves to stare at him, not knowing how to react. Despite not knowing exactly what to do at first, I soon realized that I only had one way to go, the one from honesty. How could I make others understand this love of mine, which is so complicated, if I were to continue telling lies?

“Yes” I finally answered. My words were steady, determined. “I love Mayumayu. I'm totally in love with her, and no matter what others say. I can love her seriously even without having personally met her even once. That's the extent of my feelings.”

Mayu gave a small smile. He seemed satisfied with my answer. Sakura just sighed, understanting that none of her words would ever be able to prove me wrong. I felt lighter. A huge weight had been lifted off my back and it was invigorating.

“Anyway…” Sakura ends with the silence that had lasted more than necessary. “What are you doing here, Mayu?”

“Brother.”

“I think he meant that Nozaki told him to come looking for us” I explained, but not so sure myself. I looked toward the brunette, who nodded his head in a sign that it was exactly that. I smiled, realizing what all that meant. “I think he was worried about you, Sakura. I bet he realized that he went overboard.”

The words that I thought that were going to motivate her and make her open a smile from ear to ear, caused only the opposite effect. She looked away, without any hope.

“Probably just misses the manpower…”

And, in that moment, I found myself without words of comfort. It was not easy being Sakura. She was so lucky in love as I was.

When we started our way back to the house of the artist, I rushed to pick up the bag from the girl’s hands, only to have it stollen from me. I looked at Mayu, surprised, but he said nothing, just kept walking. As always, what was going through his head was a mystery.

Walking down the street. Mayu led the way, followed by me and Sakura. She approached me, her expressions a little shy.

“I hope it all goes well between you and this Mayumayu person…” Her words came suddenly, without warning. I had my ears attentive to her words, that caused me surprise. “I can’t support you, but if you want someone to talk to, then I think I can hear you.”

A smile spread on my lips.

“Thank you. And, uh, about Mayu…”

“What you mean? I didn’t see anything.” She looked away, unconvincing expressions on her face. “And even if I had seen that hug... That I'm not saying what I saw... Who knows what Mayu is thinking? Maybe he was just taking advantage of you. Using you for support.” She shrugged.

I stopped walking, seeing myself speechless. The girl sped up and climbed the steps, following behind Mayu, who was already at the door. I blinked a few times, thinking about Sakura's words and realizing that they made more sense than they should. Somewhat relieved to see that Mayu’s actions meant nothing, I joined them. Sakura, ahead of us, looked between me and Mayu, restless. Mayu sighed, probably tired of all the delay and made to ring the bell one more time. However, his gesture was interrupted by the door itself, which opened quickly. On the other side, we found a very distressed Nozaki.

“Sakura!” He exclaimed as soon as he put his eyes on the redhead.

“Ah, hum... I'm sorry!” Taken by surprise, Sakura could not help but bow her head and apologize awkwardly. “I shouldn’t have dropped out my work that way!”

He grabbed her by the wrist, surprising her. Nozaki was staring at Sakura with very serious eyes. Sakura seemed somewhat confused by the whole situation.

“Who cares.” He pauses briefly, but without breaking eye contact for even a second. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I'm really sorry.”

Sakura blinked a few times and then smiled, shaking her head in a sign that everything was fine. Even I could not help but smile. It was good to see things back to normal. I looked toward Mayu, curious about his expressions, but what my eyes showed me was very different than what I expected to see. He was smiling, but it was toward me that his eyes were pointing.

I turned my face away, feeling my cheeks hotter than ever. I hid behind one of my hands, aware that the redness wouldn’t disappear anytime soon.

What was that?

...

The interval had just started, which gave us a little more than ten minutes of free time. I found myself sat on my desk, oblivious to the rest of the class while I waited for Mayumayu’s reply to the message I had sent earlier. Kashima was talking to the other girls, who were shouting and pulling her from one side to the other. I really didn’t know how she could enjoy all that. Looking at my phone, I could not contain the smile that sprang on my lips. If only all the girls were like Mayumayu, sweet and adorable…

I looked toward Kashima for a moment, wishing she knew that the phone was not important; important were my conversations with Mayumayu. Suddenly, she looked back at me, but turned away as soon as she could. I sighed, wishing, more than anything, to have my best friend back.

“Mikorin!” The redhead walked through the door, causing a loud bang.

Noticing her approach, I placed the phone on the table, allowing it to rest.

“What is it, Sakura?” I asked as soon as she crossed the entire length of the room and reached my desk. “Did something happen?”

“Aah, err, well…” She looked around and at this point her face flushed. She closed her eyes and said all she had to say in one breath. “Do you think you could meet me somewhere, after school?”

“Of course…”

Now, the whole class had their eyes turned in my direction, including Kashima’s. Apparently, Sakura had spoken louder than she intended, as ishe also seemed somewhat embarrassed by all those prying eyes. She messed with the strands of her hair and looked away.

“Anyway.” She began. “Should I meet you at the gate?”

I nodded in agreement. She smiled one last time before saying she would return to her own class, and I waved her goodbye as she withdrew. The room had returned to its noisy state and I found myself free from the curious eyes of my classmates, except for a pair of green orbs.

It was only after a while of that uncomfortable exchange of glances that she turned her face away and continued to talk to the girls around her. When the teacher came into the room, everyone returned to their seats and silenced. Even as she sat in her seat right behind mine, Kashima directed me not even a word.

I couldn’t not feel bad.

The light flashed and I pressed the keys of the phone that was resting on the table, as discreetly as I could.

[Mayumayu] Class is so boring. I wanted to go home.

[Mamiko ♡] Hang in there! In a moment it'll end! However, my class is about to start. We talk later! ヾ(＾∇＾)

I put the phone into the case and sighed. I wanted so much the time to fly like never ever before...

What did Sakura want to talk about?... And so, I found myself thinking of all the things that had happened on the day before: my real feelings for Mayumayu, the fight between Sakura and Nozaki, the strong arms of Mayu involving me carefully... My face heated up. I could feel my heart beating against my chest, at high speed. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, wishing to extinguish those thoughts. Why wouldn’t it leave me?! His gestures were no big deal!

The class, again, was useless.

When the teacher released us, I gathered my stuff and hurried out the door. I walked distracted, my head still not fully in order, and I saw no way out besides doing everything possible to deal with those complicated thoughts that troubled me. I couldn’t let Sakura waiting forever, after all.

I walked through the hallways that were being filled more and more by the eager students that couldn’t wait to get home. I kept walking until I saw myself outside of the building. It didn’t take long until I found the redhead among all those people; the two large ribbons that adorned her hair were quite distinctive.

“Sakura!”

“Ah, Mikorin! Let’s go?”

I signaled for her to guide me. We followed down the sidewalk, seeking refuge from the blazing sunlight in the shadows we met along the way.

“Where are we going?” I asked, finally.

“What about the mall?”

“Can be. There is this new ice cream shop that everybody is talking about, which opened the other day.”

“Yes! Yuzuki told me she was there the other day with Wakamatsu and that it was very good!”

“They really are really very close…”

“Yes.” The redhead said with a smile.

During the rest of the way, we remained silent. When I saw that we were approaching our destination, I began to wonder the reason to all that. She wanted to talk about something, probably Nozaki, almost certainly Nozaki, but about what exactly I had no idea.

When we entered the huge commercial enterprise, the air conditioning was the first to give us welcome. Shops and hallways were not very full, what was expected because of the time and since it was a weekday. That made the environment not stuffy, what was good.

When we saw the purple front of the ice cream shop, our steps only rushed. There was a short line, almost all made of students, yet, it didn’t take longer than ten minutes until we saw ourself sitting on the white and round tables of the small establishment. After a few minutes looking at the menu, a young girl came over to take our order.

“I'll have a mint milkshake, with extra chocolate. Sakura?”

“A strawberry sundae, please.”

The attendant pulled back as soon as she had written everything down in a notebook. Wasting no more time, I asked Sakura what was going on, not anymore enduring the anxiety that was growing inside me. She blushed a little.

“Oh, so... It's about Nozaki…” She messed with the red strands of her hair, clearly embarrassed. “I was thinking about confession to him one more time.”

“I think it's a good idea ” My reply was immediate.

“Really?!” The smile she opened was as big as her feelings for Nozaki. She herself seemed to be embarrassed by her own joy, because she turned away, her hands restless. “I mean... Are you sure?”

I had to contain a laughter. Sakura could be quite lovely at times. Well, it's true what they say that passionate people are ten times more beautiful and hundreds times happier.

“I'm sure. Especially after yesterday.”

She opened a shy smile and looked away. Her hands showed themselves even more restless.

“It's true that he seemed kinda worried... To tell you the truth, I thought my heart was going to stop when he grabbed my hand.”

I let the girl stay alone with her thoughts for a moment. Her face was flushed and her eyes had not yet come to meet with mine. With the arrival of our orders, she ended up gaining even more time for herself. As I drank my milkshake, my eyes watched her carefully, alert to any minimal change in her behavior; like how her eyes suddenly seemed to glow so much more. All of her initial nervousness was fading and being replaced by a strong determination. I found it amazing.

Will I ever be like that? I wondered, as I turned my face away in order to hide the blush.

“Changing the subject a little…” She dove her spoon on the sundae, which was still half full. “How are things going with Mayumayu?”

“Ah?” My face warmed immediately. I didn’t expect her to start the subject like that, out of nowhere, especially after what she had told me yesterday. “ Excellent! Perfect!” A laugh dyed by my nervousness was what came out of my lips. I shook one of my hands in front of my face, a futile act that I couldn’t stop.

Sakura stared at me in silence. She waited for me to finish freaking out to make her next question.

“You didn’t progress at all, right?

The crooked smile that I had on my lips plummeted. Suddenly, I couldn’t look her in eye.

“Well…”

“How long have you been speeking with each other?” She asked, as she took another spoonful of ice cream to her mouth.

I blinked a few times, not understanding her sudden interest. She seemed to read my thoughts, since she grumbled right after.

“C’mon, Mikorin! I’m giving her a chance!” She was starting to grow impatiente. “How long?”

“I don’t know, five months… Yes, something around this.”

“How is she?”

“Lovely? Somewhat lazy. She once told me that her favorite this to do was to take naps.” I was unable to contain a smile.

Sakura merely stared at me for a moment. Her silence was stunning. It made me anxious, because I didn't know what to expect. The redhead was full of surprises today.

“Okay, she passed the test.” She said, finally, taking another bit of ice cream to her mouth. Meanwhile, I finished with the rest of my milkshake. “For now.” She added after a while.

What I felt then was relief. It was good to know that I had Sakura’s support. It was nice to know that I wouldn’t have to face that complicated route without someone to stop me from doing the obviously incorrect choices.

“What? Really?!”

“Yes.” She simply answered. “If she can make you smile like that then I think it's worth a try.”

I blushed a little. I wanted to hide, but I new it was not time for that.

“Thanks, Sakura.”

“No problem, Mikorin.” She smiled and tilted her head a little. “Hey, I was thinking... Can I see it?” She asked, suddenly.

Curiosity emanated from each of her pores, her bright eyes desperately pleaded for a positive response. Meanwhile, I found myself confused by the meaning her request.

“See what?”

“The messages!”

“Eh?! You want to read them?”

“If it’s not a problem…”

“Oh, well…”

For a moment, I remained silent, thinking about the pros and cons. Finally, I realized that if I wanted her full support, I would have to make some sacrifices.

“All right.” She was clearly satisfied with my answer.

Leading my hand to my pocket, I searched for the mobile phone, getting afflicted when I noticed that it was not there. I stood up in a jump, causing a loud bang. Everyone stared at me with curious eyes. Sakura looked confused, but said nothing for long seconds. Meanwhile, I continued to dig through my pockets.

“Mikorin?” She finally asked, worried.

“It’s not here! My cell is not here!” I exclaimed, panicking.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I had to calm down and think straight. Where could I have put it? Immediately, I pulled my bag, that until now remained at the floor, and opened the outer pocket; there were my keys and my headphones, and only that. I opened the other pockets, checking if it wasn’t lost somewhere inside it. Sakura, who until then remained quiet, only watching, asked.

“Mikorin? What? You still didn’t find it?”

“No! Does it look like I’ve found it?!” I shouted, but soon I realized that screaming wouldn’t solve anything. It wasn’t her fault. Whywas I yelling at her? “Sorry. It's just that... My cell phone, Sakura... I can’t lose it.”

Without another word, she stood up and stepped forward, positioning herself next to me and also sticking her hands inside the backpack. I stared at her, surprised that despite my attitude toward her she was still willing to help me.

“Move your hand, Mikoshiba! We are going to find it, so wipe those tears!”

Immediately, I took the back of my hands to my eyes and rubbed them hard. I had not even realized that I was crying... I felt disgusted with myself, but I didn’t have time for this, not now, so I went back to move the things inside the bag. We took the materials and spread them on the table. Everyone was still watching us, more curious than ever about what was going on.

Sakura took my case and, wondering about the weight, opened it.

“I found it! Mikorin, I found it!”

For a moment, I didn’t know if I should hug Sakura or take the phone from her hands. But all I needed was to see the flashing light to have my priorities in order. Picking up the phone, I smiled while I read the message that had arrived about half an hour ago. Sakura didn’t seem annoyed by my behavior, nor surprised.

[Mayumayu] I wanted to do nothing today

[Mamiko ♡] Sorry about taking so long. Some things happened. (T ▽ T) But anyway, did you go out with your friends? Where did you go? (^ ▽ ^)

[Mayumayu] Ice cream shop

I blinked a few times, rereading again the few words that formed the message I had just received. My heart sped up a bit. If I remembered well, Mayumayu had said something about living a bit far, but not that much. She said she had come to my neighborhood several times before. What was the chance?

The door of the establishment opened and my head turned immediately, searching for a girl who could be Mayumayu. But the newcomers were all boys. Besides, their uniforms were somewhat familiar.

“Ah! Mayu!” Sakura exclaimed beside me.

Mayu's eyes followed the voice to its origin, but they ended up landing in me and not in Sakura. He stared at me, tired and bored, as usual. He said something to the boy who was at his side and walked in our direction, stopping in front of us. All the way, he didn’t let go of my eyes for even a moment, which made me nervous. No more enduring all that non-physical contact, I looked away, but soon had my head turned forward again by a pair of hands. Mayu met my eyes, holding me to keep me from avoiding him. Sakura seemed surprised by the younger’s gesture as much as I.

“Mayu?” She touched him on the shoulder, trying to draw his attention to herself. However, this was not at all effective. His black eyes were glued to mines.

“Mikoto-san…”

He ran his fingers underneath my eyes, surprising me. I tried to retreat, but he had me in his hands – literally – and that didn't make things any easier. My face was burning and all I didn't want to remember was exactly the only things that would come to my mind: the warmth of his body, his smile as he watched me...

“Were you crying?”

His words entered through one ear and out the other. It was Sakura who had to give him an answer, because I was still in shock even after he let me go. The place where his hands touched me were burning.

“Some things happened.”

“What things?” Mayu tilted his head.

“He…” Sakura looked away. “He lost his phone…”

She seems to realize how ridiculous that sounded only after she have already spoken. But going against her expetations, Mayu seemed to understand that it wasn’t something as trivial as it seemed. Then she remembered, as I did, that he heard good part of our conversation from yesterday.

“Mayu, are you coming or not?” One of his friends asked, already sat in a table full of members of the judo club.

Mayu turned around and made a short bow.

“Sorry, Kobayashi. I will be owning you this one.”

“Okay.” The boy said nothing at the following seconds as he laid his eyes on me. “Stay with your friend. He doesn't seem very good. But you own me!”

Mayu merely nodded his head and turned his attention back to me. He remained completely silent, and it was starting to bother me.

“You are already leaving?” He asked, finally.

“Yeah.” Sakura said.

“Okay.”

Mayu grabbed the materials that had been scattered on the table and returned them to the safety of the backpack, which he threw over one of his shoulder. Sakura and I limited ourselves to observe him for a moment, not understanding right away what exactly he was doing. When I realized what was happening, I threw a confused look toward the redhead, who seemed neither to understand what was going on

“Let’s go?” Mayu asked while adjusting the backpack that almost fell down from his shoulder.

“Mayu… You don’t need to go. Stay with your friends. You didn’t even had anything to eat or drink, yet.” Sakura was the one who took the initiative to counter him.

“Mikoto-san.”

“He is fine.” Sakura insisted. “Right, Mikorin?”

All I could do was nod, still oblivious to what was happening around me. Sakura had to give me a nudge for me to give a decent answer.

“Yes! Yes, of course!” My tone was exaggerated. It’s not like I was unwell. That was not supposed to be a lie. It's just that Sakura was stronger than she looked, and, above all, hitting others ribs was dirty.

Mayu glared at me for a while. His silence and his apathetic features made it difficult to know what exactly was going through his head.

“I'll escort him home.”

“Mayu…”

“Chiyo-san.”

She looked away, perhaps a little confused about how to proceed in a discussion that didn't even make sense.

“You do know that you'll have to walk more, and spend energy, and…”

Mayu nodded his head before she could even finish speaking what she had to say. Sakura saw herself with no more ideas. The younger was glaring at her, what wasn't very comfortable. She looked away and looked around the room, but when she got the courage to look at him again, probably with more of those unconvincing arguments in mind, she fell silent, as if she had realized something big.

“Oh…”

She blushed a bit before facing the walls. Her behavior didn’t make sense. What was all that?

“Okay, right. Hum… Mikorin, Mayu is gonna accompany you until you get home.”

It took a few seconds for my brain to decipher the meaning of those words. And when it did, I could not help feeling somewhat angry at the whole situation.

“What?! Wait! Why? I'm not a child!”

“Mikorin…”

“Mikoto-san.”

Mayu didn't need more than that for me to understand his message: he didn’t intend to go back on his words. He was ready to be stubborn and to discuss how long it was necessary. He would make the effort.

“Mayu, really, there is no need to this.”

“But I want to.”

“Mayu!”

“Mikoto-san.”

Having always being weak against others stubbornness, I found myself wrinkling my brows as I exclaimed, in a weary tone.

“Okay, okay! Fine! Do whatever you want!”

Without uttering another word, I gave them my back and walked towards the cashier, only then noticing that my wallet was in the backpack. I stopped and reached out toward Mayu, who came and helped me, holding the backpack while I searched for the money inside all the mess.

Sakura watched the scene with a crooked smile on her face, as if she wasn't quite sure about what she was doing. She approached us, paid and soon we all had left. The way back was so quiet that it got to the point of being annoying.

...

We were already walking for about ten minutes under the hot sun when the redhead announced:

“Okay, I'll go this way.”

We all stopped and we both looked at the girl, who was pointing towards a slope.

“Okay. See you.”

“Bye bye, Chiyo-san.”

"Err... Take good care of Mikoshiba, okay?" There was uncertainty in her voice.

Confused, I could only watch the scene. I wasn't sure aboiut what she meant by that, but for Mayu the meaning of those words was more than clear, since he shook his head positively.

What's their problem? I'm fine! Totally fine! One hundred percent fine!

But I kept my frustration for later. It was neither the right time nor place for that. And, frankly, discussing things with Mayu was more tiring than people would ever believe. After a brief exchange of goodbyes, Sakura went her own way, looking back not even once. Her steps were fast even in the slope. The hot sun also didn't seem to be a problem for her.

We stood still for a while, just waiting for her to leave our view. Then, we waited another few moments. When I felt the sun burning my ears, I decided it was time to leave.

“Let’s go?” I asked, already walking away.

Mayu just followed me, without saying even a word. For some reason, I couldn't contain the anxiety that was growing inside me. I knew it was silly. It was just Mayu, Nozaki’s brother, the captain of the judo team, the lazy kid who had a strange curiosity over my figures... That Mayu.

During the whole way, that took little more than fifteen minutes, no words were exchanged. But what could I do? I didn'tt know what to do or what to say. And he, who seemed to have something on his mind, remained silent, without sharing his thoughts. There was nothing I could do to ease the tension. I just hoped that things would not stay like that much longer, or it could end up becoming a problem. I mean, he'll probably want to hang out at my house a bit before going home, and I didn't know if I could stand being in a closed room together with him in this situation.

Was it be because of Mayumayu? Could it be that he wanted to ask me something about her?

The anxiety in my chest just grew even more. When we arrived at my house, I opened the door for us to enter. At least we had got rid of the muggy weather and of the burning sun. Mayu stood by the door until I called him in, what I did more out of duty than out of interest, honestly.

“Do you want some water?”

“Please.”

“Okay. Why don’t you wait for me in my room?”

He nodded and walked into the house, disappearing from my sight. A relieved sigh left my lips as soon as I saw myself alone. Things couldn't continue like that. I had to do something. Going into the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water in the fridge and two glasses in the cupboard. While thinking about what I could do to make the situation better, I went to my room, the glasses someway equilibrated in one of my hands. But what awaited me was enough for me to give a short laugh.

I walked into the room, dropping the bottle and the glasses on the table before I approached the boy who had a lazy cat lying on his head.

“Kaori, don’t do that.”

I grabbed the cat by its light-colored coat and put it on the floor. Mayu, who was lying in my bed, looked somewhat relieved to have got rid of that blanket made of natural fur.

“You could have taken it off you, you know" I spoke the obvious, a smile on my lips. I shook my head from side to side, in disbelief that he hasn't tried to do anything to get rid of Kaori. "You know how that cat is cheeky."

“He scratches me whenever I try to catch him.” Was his answer.

“Seriously? Weird. It is typically affectionate with everyone.”

“Maybe it doesn't like me. Or, it doesn't like me near you.” Mayu, who until then stared at the ceiling, turned his head towards me. He looked me in the eye, and I wondered how he could do that sort of thing without feeling the least embarrassed.

I turned my face away, feeling it suddenly hot. My face burned and I hated that, and I also hated not understanding why this was happening. I passed my fingers through the crimson strands of the hair that covered my head. Again, I was feeling tense. Great.

“I…” I looked around, wondering what to say. Anything was better than silence. Anything. “I brought water!”

“Do you mind if I keep lying on your bed for a while longer?”

“Ah? No... But what is it? You are sick? Was it the heat?”

"I'm sleepy. I think I'll take a nap." He closed his eyes. His eyelashes were long, and that’s something I had never noticed until then.

"Ah... Okay." I turned my face away, which was still blushing. I felt myself breathing heavyly, as if the air had doubled in weight inside my lungs.

“Okay?” He asked, slightly opening his eyes.

“Of course! I'll be right here, playing.” I said, pulling the control closer to me and waving it in the air. My nervousness was spreading under my skin, taking over every inch of my being. I could feel his gaze fixed on my neck.

“Okay…” He said, and after that he got quiet.

It didn't take long until I could hear the sound of his breathing becoming tender. I looked one last time toward him, without thinking of anything specific, and the I turned the console on and focused only on the game that demanded my attention. Kaori approached me and made itself confortable in my lap, meowing softly afterwards. With a thin smile on my face, I scratched behind its ear, earning another meow.

...

“No! No!” I cried in disgust. Betrayal had a bitter taste. “I already said that that's not how things work! What is your problem?!”

Mayu stirred up behind me and, in that moment, I realized that it might be better to lower the volume of my voice, otherwise I would wake him up. Still, I couldn’t just end the argument with the girl who watched me from the other side of the screen, that showed me displeased features.

“I've already said that I was not fooling around!” I muttered, bringing myself a bit closer to the television. “You are everything to me! Why do you have to keep making me repeat myself? Is it a test? It's a test, isn't it?!”

I sighed, tired and a bit pissed with the game. It had been two hours since I’ve started trying to win the rich girl’s route, but progress was far from significant. I walked in circles, repeating steps and sometimes having to restart it because things didn't show signs of improvement.

Deciding for a break, I dragged myself across the floor until my back found the bed. I leaned my head on the mattress and closed my eyes. I settled down as best as I could in order to have more comfort. When I reopened my eyes, a pair of black orbs was staring at me intently. Taken by surprise, I couldn’t help but jump a little, nor could I contain the strange sounds that escaped my lips. Mayu seemed surprised at my reaction. Probably, he considered it exaggerated, which deep down was.

“Mayu! When did you wake up?”

“Just now.  Shortly before your speech.”

“Eh…” I looked away, embarrassed. “You always catch me in my most embarrassing moments…”

I had my head down and my eyes closed; at that moment, I couldn't bring myself to face the world. I should be an example, a good example, after all I was older. However, I found myself incapable of it. I was bad with words, and I often couldn’t even make decisions. I couldn't say "no". I would fear the consequences long before I could even perform the cause. I wasn’t at all confident. I couldn’t even confess my feelings for the girl I liked!

Mayu said nothing for a long moment. He then raised his torso off the bed and sat on the edge of the bed. I looked at him, waiting for whatever it was that he had to say.

“Water.”

I blinked a few times, not understanding immediately what he wanted.

“A glass of water, please.” He repeated, perhaps seeing that his words were not clear.

“Ah! Right!”

I hurried up to fill one of the glasses that were resting on the table, which then I handed to the brunette, who drank practically everything in only one gulp.

“Thank you.”

I lightly smiled. I felt happy, suddenly. I looked at my hands. Was it stupid to feel useful because of something this silly? Sometimes, I felt that Mayu was the one who understood me the most in the world. Not even Sakura or Nozaki were as perceptive as to what was going on with me.

“You always know what I need, don't you?” When I looked in his direction, he had a shy smile.

“That’s because I’m always looking at you.”

In that moment, I felt my face burn more than ever, even more than on that day when I tried to play the erotic scenes of that game that was lent to me. Much more. The smile was trying to keep itself on my face, but my lips trembled because of the surprise.

“Mikoto-san?”

“I... I think we should go to Nozaki's! Yup! You haven't seen him today, right? And he might help me with this route and…”

Mayu merely listened to me, in silence, without showing any reaction. I picked up my stuff and put in a backpack: the phone, the game, the wallet.

“Mayu, are you hearing me?”

The boy sighed and stood up. After checking if his cell phone was in his pocket, he followed me through the house so that we could get to the door. Kaori was following close behind, confused by all the sudden movement. After all, everything was so quiet in the last few hours.

“Kaori, take care of the house.” I told the cat that had followed us, and closed the door.

It was just over five pm when we directed ourselves to the mangaka's house. Mayu didn't say even a word the entire way, which was done at a much faster pace than he probably would like.

...

“Nozaki! Nice to see you!” I said as soon as the boy opened the door. He looked at me, then at Mayu and then at his cell, probably checking if he had received any messages that he didn't remember about. “Oh, sorry to come unannounced.”

“Mayu, what are you doing here? Mother will get worried.”

The youngest just looked away, as if it wasn't with him. Nozaki sighed, probably feeling that that was the breeze before the storm.

“Okay... I'll call her and say that you will be sleeping here today. You don’t have classes tomorrow anyway. For now, you two, come in.”

And so we headed to the familiar room. There were some papers scattered on the table and an open book. He was probably studying, I thought. He was, after all, a student like any other. When Nozaki arrived at the room, I redirected my attention to him. He crossed his arms and stared at us with a suspicious look.

“May I know what's going on?”

“I thought you could help me with this game. “I said, pulling my backpack onto my lap and opening it.

“Mikoshiba, you never appear without prior warning. Is everything really all right?”

“Of course! It's just that this girl is giving me a headache and I don't know what to do and…”

“Sorry, brother, I think it may be my fault.” Mayu interrupted me.

“What?” Both me and Nozaki looked toward him, questioning him simultaneously.

“What's he talking about, Mikoshiba? Or rather, what did you do, Mayu?”

“I'm not sure.” Was the honest answer that Mayu gave.

“Nothing happened! Seriously! So…” I pulled the game out of the backpack, nervousness growing inside me. “Can we start?”

The brothers exchanged silent glances. Meanwhile, all I could do was fight against everything that was going on inside me. Being that nervous was unnecessary, totally unnecessary. I had to occupy my mind with other things. I needed to distract myself.

“Okay. Then, start turning everything on, Mikoshiba. I'll get us some snacks. Mayu, take some pillows in the closet. We will need them later.”

And with the tasks stipulated, we all put ourselves in action. The logo of the game appeared on the television screen when Mayu returned with some pillows under the arms. Nozaki soon followed, a platter of snacks in his hands. We all sat down and silently waited while I pressed the buttons on the console and advanced to the point where the route would really begin.

“Okay, here. It's her. Rich, moody and impossible. She never knows what she wants and keeps changing her mind.” I explained as I handed him the control.

“Why don't you just look on the internet?” Mayu asked.

“Apparently, this would be a huge betrayal and he would be playing with the heart of a maiden and it would be unforgivable. Something like this.” Nozaki said, mechanically repeating what I had told him so many times in the past.

“But it’s true!” I defended myself.

“Look, Mikorin, here is the first impasse.”

"Really?" I approached Nozaki, curious, looking over his shoulder. "Hm? Shouldn't you just say that the teacher was calling her? I mean, it was precisely because of that that we went looking for her.”

"Don't you think it's strange that she's right next to the music room when one of the things that she hates the most is noise? Furthermore, her class is on the other side of the building."

Nozaki went down the options and pressed "What are you doing here?". We waited to see what was going to happen, and we ended up finding out that she had lost a necklace that had belong to her mother somewhere near the music room.

“Hmm? Who would think that you could be right. I can’t believe you noticed a detail like these. Who pays attention to the background?”

“It was precisely because they made the  inscription with such a good resolution that  I came to this conclusion.”

“True. Now that you've mention it…”

Mayu just watched the scene, probably finding strange how we were being so serious toward a simple game. He lay down, resting his head on one of the pillows. Meanwhile, Nozaki and I were still arguing about the matter, as we progressed along the route. The snacks had long been finished when the game finally showed signs that we were really going on the right way.

“Okay... We doesn't seem to be far from the end. Soon we should be able to get a second date.”

“Or not... She doesn’t seem on the mood for romance. Maybe happened something at her home, again.”

“Then, don't you think this would be the perfect time? She may need a little distraction.”

“She is too serious and smart for this type of technique to work. You won't be able to raise your popularity like this”

“Damn... We were so close!”

“It's getting late. Look, Mayu has already fallen asleep. Better stop for today?”

“I don't think Mayu is a good parameter... But if you are tired, okay. We can continue another day. Can I leave the game here?” I asked as I placed the game back in the box and turned off the television.

Nozaki stared at me, seriously, but said nothing. It was in those moments that I realized the enormous similarity between the two brothers. Many of their behaviors and the way the responded to a certain situation were equal. The difference is that Nozaki didn't make me anxious.

“Mikoshiba, did something happened between you and Mayu?” He asked, finally.

My heart jumped, almost ending up in my mouth. I couldn't keep my eyes on Nozaki's.

“I've already said that nothing happened.”

“You fought?”

“What? Of course not!”

“So what happened?”

“I just... I don't know. I panicked.”

Nozaki frowned and said nothing for a while.

“What do you mean?”

“He... He makes me think about things, and I don't know what to do with those thoughts. I don't know.” The words showed themselves two hundred thousand times more shameful after they had already left my mouth.

“Mikoshiba..." His voice was serious. I looked in his direction, anxious, regretting saying anything. “Could you repeat?” He asked, as he pulled one sheet of paper and a pencil from the table.

I blinked a few times, not knowing what to say at first.

“No!”

“But, Mikoshiba!”

“Let’s just sleep, okay?”

Nozaki grimaced and looked awayplacing the paper on the table and writing something quickly. I restrained my desire to punch him.

“Nozaki!”

"Okay, okay. I'll get some blankets."

"Should I wake Mayu up, ou should I just leave him as he is?

“He's already asleep. Let him be.” And having said this, he disappeared into the house.

Not knowing what to do, I looked around. Rising from my seat, I took the cushions that were scattered and I placed them comfortably on the floor. Nozaki soon returned, throwing one of the blankets on me as soon as he had the chance. I lay down while he covered his younger brother, who seemed to be in deep sleep. I pronounced myself only when Nozaki began to lay down on the only couch that was in the room.

“You do know that you can sleep in your own bed, right?”

”It's nice to sleep in the living room.” He said, simply.

Already lying down, I turned to the other side. I was never going to understand how things worked on the mangaka's head. Maybe he was being thoughful, or maybe he liked to feel the presence of others around him; he lived alone, after all. Anyway, I had long ago got tired of trying to understand him.

“Good night.”

“Night.”

I closed my eyes, determined to sleep. The problem is that now that I had turned my back to Nozaki, I had Mayu again in my field of vision. The boy slept lightly, his chest rising and descending at a slow pace. Meanwhile, I saw my own heartbeat speed up as a person appeared in my mind. I picked up the phone in the backpack, which was not too far away. I didn't typed anything. I limited myself to reread old conversations and smile more and more to every new - old - sentence.

My desire to send her a message was distressing, but I restrained myself. It was late, too late to bother her. She always slept early. It wasn't for nothing that she had sleeping as her favorite activity. She reminded me of Mayu in that aspect, and also in the way that any little thing she said would make me nervous The two were very much alike.

I turned around so that my head was digging on the pillow. I felt my face burn and I didn't know for whose cause.

I loved Mayumayu; really loved. I had never met a girl who made me feel so at ease. I could be myself, what was already a lot. However, our relationship was based on lies, and I felt bad about this. But how to tell the truth? How could I just say "I'm not a girl.”? Sure, she might be okay with it. But what if she isn't? What if she has a problem with that?

Meanwhile, there were no secrets between me and Mayu. I could also be myself around him. He thought nothing of my hobby, or at least he said nothing. He accepted them, though, as today, he could find somethings a little strange. But, always, he would ask and, once he had received his answer, he would no longer touch the subject. He probably thought it was not worth the effort, but I liked to think it was something more. His company was pleasant, and his silence soothing – when things were not tense between us, obviously. However, despite all this, I could not define our relationship as friendship. It was different.

Looking back to my cell, I hid myself under the covers in order to have some privacy. Besides, what I less needed at the time were sermons about me using the phone instead of sleeping. I knew it was late. I knew it was after midnight. But what could I do if I couldn't sleep? I had other things on my mind to simply forget everything; not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't.

I was tired, but I couldn't find the tranquility necessary for me to fall asleep.

With my eyes again focused on the mobile, I averted my attention from Mayumayu's messages for a while and took a look at the other people in my contact list. There was a good amount of numbers, but few that I truly cared, few who were really irreplaceable.

The first name that call my attention was Nozaki's. I've been helping him with his manga for some time now and we were good friends. Of course, sometimes it was kind of hard to deal with him, still, he was a company that I didn't want to lose. Even with all his weirdness, I recognized his love for his work and I wanted to have something like that for me, someday.

Just below was Sakura’s, the poor girl who had the misfortune of falling in love with someone like Nozaki. But I hoped that they would work it out, or at least that he would notice once and for all the little hearts that appeared in the girl's eyes every time she looks at him. Sakura was a sweet and kind person, and she certainly deserved more than an unrequited love.

The next name that called my attention was from my classmate and best friend, Kashima. It was always fun to be with her and we would always have something to say to each other, so conversation has never been a problem. It was kind of boring what was happening between us lately. I wanted things to return to normal soon, but I knew that wouldn't be so easy.

There were also Kori, Wakamatsu and even Seo in my contact list. It was when I arrived at the bottom of the long list of names that I realized the lack of one in particular. I didn't have Mayu's number, what was odd. Even though I didn't consider us as really big friends, we were definitely close. He woud even come to my house sometimes. Of course, he would always come and find me at the school gate, or at his brother's house, but…

It was really weird and bothered me in an indescribable way.

Mayu never asked for my number…

I looked to the side, and what I saw was the brunette still asleep. He shifted a little, the blanket falling to the side and leaving him partially uncovered. When I got my eyes back on the cellphone, I was as brood as ever. It bothered me more than it should. But solving it would not be hard. All I had to do was ask for his number. Easy!

I looked back toward the younger, watching him squirm again. It was my first time seeing him sleeping and, frankly, I think I've never seen him move so much even when he was awake. Maybe he was feeling cold, since he was mostly discovered and the night was kind of cohily. Without thinking twice, I got up and crawled in his direction, covering him up to his ears. I smiled, lightly, pleased with my good deed. I was letting go of the blanket when I suddenly had my wrist grabbed. I held my urge to scream, not wanting to wake Nozaki up.

“Mikoto?” Mayu asked, his eyes half open. He didn't seem to be fully awake.

“Sorry if I woke you up. You were all discovered and I thought you could be cold. As the good person I am, I couldn't help but taking care of a helpless person and…” The words come out of my mouth stumbled.

“Mikoto-san…” Mayu sighed and finally let me go; to my relief, since he didn’t know how to contain his strength. “You scared me.”

“Sorry. I'm really sorry.”

“It’s late.”

“I know... I should be sleeping, but it's not being easy. Sorry about waking you up.”

“It's all right.”

We were silent for a moment, as we simply looked at each other's faces. When I began to feel a bit uncomfortable with all that, I turned away.

"I think I'll go back and... You know, sleep. Or try.” I said, already crawling back.

“Good night, Mikoto-san.”

Turning my head around to look at him, I blinked a few times and gave a slight smile.

“Good night, Mayu.”

I covered myself with the blankets, almost hiding myself. I could hear Mayu moving around on the other side, probably settling back to sleep. On the other hand, I still couldn't sleep. In fact, I was even more awake than before. My heart was beating fast, my wrist hurt and Mayu' deep voice Mayu echoed in my head.

I didn't know what that was all about, but none of it made me feel good. Having my thoughts monopolized like this... If it were Mayumayu I would understand, perfectly understand. It would make sense. But Mayu? I was probably only distressed by not knowing the right way to treat him. Perhaps, I didn't see him as a friend because I didn't have his phone. He's not in the list! Yes, that's it! When I get his number, in the morning, everything will be in order.

But why can't I really believe in that?

I wonder if Mayumayu would know what to do. I wanted to talk to herso badly right now that it itched. But could I? Not being sincere, deceiving her every day for the last few months... Loving her.

I needed her. I truly needed her. And to have the "real" her, I would have to start explaining everything. It was time to be honest, and to worry later.

I picked up my phone, while knowing that I was actually making a mistake. However, I was tired and confused, and Mayu wouldn't leave my mind and I needed Mayumayu to talk about this because I had no one else to do so. Sakura? Nozaki? They weren't options, not right now.

[Mamiko ♡] I know it’s late but there's something I wanted to tell you and that would be that I am actsualy not quite woh u think I am, but what rly matter is that I care about u and taht I like u a lot and that I dnt want u to hate me but I'm a guy

[Mamiko ♡] I know that we dnt known each other very well but I relly,

[Mamiko ♡] really* wanted u to give me a chance. I am in love with u, so please give me a chnace

[Mamiko ♡] chance*

[Mamiko ♡] sorry for the text, I am kind of freaking out here

[Mamiko ♡] ah but I never meant to deceive you

[Mamiko ♡] actually, I was being myself when I talked with u

[Mamiko ♡] I'm really like that  

[Mamiko ♡] the me right now is the one woh is not being normal

[Mamiko ♡] and I apologize for it

[Mamiko ♡] It wasn't like this that I wanted things to go, but I really need an answer ヽ（゜ロ゜；）ノ Sorry.

Knowing that I wouldn't get an answer until morning, I turned off my phone in order to avoid the temptation of watching him throughout the night. I dropped the device on top of my backpack and went back to my hiding-place, under the covers. It was after 1 a.m. that I finally had the pleasure of falling asleep.

On the following day, when I woke up, the first thing I did was bring my phone closer and turn it on. Almost automatically I felt it vibrate in my hands, getting the messages that had been sent while he was off. I looked around, seeing myself alone in the room. I remained with the device simply in my hand for some seconds, not knowing if I really wanted to know what Mayumayu's answer was. I didn't fell regret, but I've never felt so anxious in my life. And, honestly, I had a heart made of butter, and it was not made to be broken. Sighing, I gathered all my courage and looked at the inbox.

[Mayumayu] Sorry, I don't have this kind your feelings for you. About you being a guy... Well, I've known it for some time already.

[Mamiko ♡] Oh! Ok! I get it. ( ´△｀) But if you want more time to think, I don't know...

[Mayumayu] No

[Mayumayu] Sorry

[Mayumayu] I already love someone. And for quite a while.

[Mamiko ♡] Oh! Cool! I hope it works out between you guys! (* ^ ▽ ^ *) And, hum ... Do you still want to talk 2 me? Cause, really, if u dnt want to I totally understand. U dnt even need to say anything.

[Mayumayu] I already told you that I like our conversations.

[Mamiko ♡] Thank you! (^ v ^) I also like talking to you !!

[Mamiko ♡] And if I might say, I think one shouldn't waste much time about this things. You ought to take the risk and confess to that person, especially if that "time" is something, I dnt know, around five months? (⌒_⌒;)

[Mamiko ♡] Ah! Not that I think that I would have gotten a yes if I had not waited so long! I just think that it's bad to be mulling over it like that! I don't think it's good, not to mind, nor to the heart! I speak from experience. And if you want someone to talk to...

[Mayumayu] Tks. I think u are right.

[Mayumayu] Maybe it’s really time for it…

[Mamiko ♡] Good luck!!! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

[Mamiko ♡] Anything, I’m here!

“Ah! Mikorin! You are finally up!”

Sakura's cheerful voice flooded into room, bringing me back to reality. I set my cell phone down, but without releasing it. I couldn't let go, I couldn't give up. I silently watched the redhead approaching me, her cheerful expressions turning into other features.

“Mikorin!” She came forward to my side, accelerating her steps. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

"I'm not crying! It's just that there is dust in my eye and... And my chest hurts.” Dropping the phone in my lap, I took my hands to my eyes and I rubbed them hard in order to hold back the tears that were piling up. I really wasn't crying, but I was very close to. "I think my heart is broken..." I said, finally.

Sakura brought her hands to her lips and pulled me close to her. It was the first time that I saw myself so close to a girl. She smelled like flowers. Perhaps... Freesia. But Sakura wasn't the one who I thought I would have in my arms someday – although, in this case, it was more the other way around.

“I confessed, Sakura.” She strolled her fingers behind my back. “I told her the truth.”

“Mikorin... You'll be fine. Okay?”

“But, Sakura…”

“Maybe she just wasn’t the person for you.”

“But I love her.”

“I know! I know that! Of unrequited love I understand very well.” She said, riling up a bit, although it's noticeable that she was trying to control herself. “It hurts! It hurts a lot! But you'll be fine. I'm right, aren't I?”

I remained silent, just enjoying her scent. It was relaxing. If only it could take my pain away.

“You can't cry, Mikorin! Not if you want things to be all right! You have to stay strong. Or will you let this be the end of your friendship? Finishing it is easier than starting it, and I'm sure you don't want to lose her. Isn't she an important friend?”

“Yes, she is.

“And what if she falls in love someday, won’t you support her?”

I said nothing. The words had stuck in my throat. Sakura pulled away and looked me straight in the eye.

“Mikoshiba?”

“Yes! Dammit! I will!”

I closed my eyes, feeling my chest ache because of the broken heart. I took a deep breath, and when I finally had the courage to open my eyes, what awaited me was a very happy redhead. Her big eyes of a shimmering purple stared at me intently. Suddenly, I felt kind of embarrassed by all my drama.

“Thanks, Sakura.

“No problem, Mikorin.”

Sakura had a sweet smile on her face. She got up and I mimicked her, standing up. Suddenly, feeling somewhat embarrassed, I didn't know what exactly to say. So I remained silent, feeling uncomfortable, what had never happened when I was with Sakura. I looked around, wondering about the silence.

“Where is Nozaki? And Mayu?”

“They went out to buy lunch. They should be back soon.”

“Lunch? What time is it?”

“A little past noon.”

I blinked a few times, in disbelief that I've slept that much. I thought it was earlier! Although it explained why my belly was beginning to feel irritated.

“They could have woken me up… You could have woke me up!”

“You looked tired. And Mayu said that you didn't sleep well. We thought it wasn't bad to let you sleep a bit more.”

“So Mayu said it... Hm…” I looked at the floor, distractedly.

Sakura just watched me, quiet for a moment. Her lips were moving in a restless way, showing that she had something to say. However, I eventually say something before she had the chance.

“Sakura, do you have mayu’s cell number?”

“Mayu’s?” She seemed somewhat surprised, and also confused. “No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, me too…”

Back to silence, no one said anything for some seconds. The redhead continued to look at me with anxious features.

“Mikorin, what Mayu is to you?”

“I… I don’t know.” I answered, honestly. I took one hand to my hair and messed with it.

“You know, I think Mayu, towards you…” But Sakura couldn’t finish whatever it was that she was saying, because the door was slammed open and Nozaki and his brother entered the scene.

“Sakura, Mikoshiba.” Nozaki greeted us. The younger limited himself to make us a slight nod.

I exchanged a silent look with the girl who stood next to me, and who had features similar to mines. Despite all the anxiety involved, it was clear that we would have to leave the conversation for later. Forcing a smile and pretending that nothing had happened, we approach them in order to give them a hand.

Placing myself next to the Mayu, I started taking the things out of the bag. Nozaki and Sakura went to the kitchen to get some plates and cutlery. As soon as we were alone, Mayu stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

“Are you okay?”

Taken by surprise, I said what I knew to be the correct answer, although not being the sincere one.

“Yeah. Only tired.”

“Okay.”

He said nothing more. And, in the silence that arose, there was nothing to distract my heart, that soon started to ache again. Damn.

...

“Okay, it’s time to go.” I announced, rising from my seat. “I will leave my game here, okay?”

“Okay.” Nozaki said, simply, while getting on his feet in order to walk me to the door. Mayu, who was distracted lying on the couch, looked up, curious, and noticing the movement also followed behind. When he reached us, we were already at the door.

“I’m already going, brother.”

“Sure. And get ready to hear mother’s complains.”

I watched as the younger nodded his head and, knowing that our way would be the same for some time, I asked:

“Let’s go?”

Mayu nodded. Even walking at a slow pace, it didn’t take long until Nozaki's house stayed behind. And then it was just me and him, walking side by side and inevitably accompanied by an agonizing silence.

...

The scalding sun bothered me a lot. The feeling of the clothes sticking to my sweaty body was still in first place on my list of reasons to hate summer. However, at that moment, there was something that was being even more uncomfortable. I wanted Mayu to stop with his furtive glances. He certainly wasn't being the least bit discreet.

On the other hand, this way I could keep my thoughts away from Mayumayu. It was a distraction; an uncomfortable distraction, but still a distraction. Every time I thought of her, I felt a squeeze on my chest. I wondered how long all this pain would last. How long would I have to endure it? Before my weakness, all I could do was to wish everything to be back to normal as soon as possible. I wanted my peaceful and carefree life back.

Actually, what I really wanted was that things had worked out... My thoughts were far from being optimistic. Mayu was still staring at me, now more blatantly, his lips still sealed. Suddenly, he stopped. Mechanically, I imitated him. Now, we exchanged anxious glances, waiting for whatever was coming next.

“Juice?”

I raised an eyebrow, but soon understood his question.

“Yeah... It's really hot today. There is a store over there. We can take a break.”

We headed to one short wall, where Mayu left me to go after the refreshments. I limited myself to watch as his back became more and more distant. Mayu... I still didn't know exactly how to treat him. Friends? Colleagues? The idea of him being just "Nozaki's younger brother" no longer seemed right at this point.

I need to get his number. Not that I truly believed that it would be the solution to my problems. I just liked to think that it would.

When the brunette reappeared in my field of vision, he had a bottle of juice in each hand. When he reached my side, he handed one to me. I smiled as I accepted the drink.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

I opened it and took a gulp, enjoying the feeling of the cold liquid going down my dry throat. The relief was almost immediate. I hadn't realized I was so thirsty. Mayu drank his in smaller sips, enjoying every drop. He still had his eyes turned to me, and that was starting to make me uncomfortable...

I looked away and pulled my phone from my pocket, seeing that as a good opportunity to get rid of that uncomfortable silence.

“Hmm! I realized that I don't have your number. Mayu, gimme it.”

He didn't answer immediately.

“No.”

I immediately turned toward him, doubting my ears, but knowing that there had been no mistakes.

“Why not?!”

But what followed was silence. Mayu now wasn't even looking in my direction. I watched as he ended with what was left of his drink. Even then, he remained silent. Inside, I saw my emotions boil. Everything in that situation was embarrassing, however, the feeling that more grew in me was not shame, but anger. I just couldn't help but feel angry. It was as if all the headache I've had because of him had been for nothing. Apparently, I was nothing but a "Nozaki’s friend", and that didn't please me.

Without thinking for even a second more, I stood up. However, as soon as I was standing up, Mayu grabbed my hand tightly. When I looked down, I saw him with expressions that I wasn't expecting. He seemed agitated, nervous. His lips were parted, and all I could do was wait for the words that didn't come.

“Let go.”

“Mikoto-san, I…”

“If you have something to talk about, then speak at once.” I grumbled, impatiently.

Mayu got up and I saw my eyes rising with him Whenever we met, he seemed taller. He pressed his lips together, tightly, and the look on his face got more anxious than ever before.

“I like you.”

All I could do was stare at him, not knowing exactly the appropriate reaction to that situation.

“What?” I had a frown, but it was not anger that I was feeling. My face was burning, and I couldn't hold the embarrassment that colored my cheeks of a pinkish tone. “That's not funny.”

“It's not a joke.” Mayu replied, his words steady. His eyes stared at me, embarrassed, but full of determination. “I really like you, Mikoto-san.”

What followed was a long, uncomfortable silence. But what could I do?! I didn't know what to say, nor what to do. What I wanted most at the moment was to able to disappear and no longer have to face this situation.

My heart was beating fast. I couldn't look in his direction. His hand were still holding mine tightly, allowing me to feel his warmth. None of it was a dream. This was reality, one hundred percent real. What to do? What to do?!

I pulled my hand away and he finally let go of me, and so I found myself free. I opened my mouth and let the words out, even before of making sure that they were really the correct answer. I just wanted an end to all that. And, liking it or not, he deserved an answer; otherwise it would be unfair.

“I…” I failed to find the words. I saw myself having to start over. My heart was going fast, and my nervousness was hitting the ceiling. “I like somebody else.” I said, finally.

Silence. I didn't look in Mayu's direction, because I didn't want to see the expressions he looked at me with. All I could do was run, run far away, wishing more than anything to vanish from Earth. When I looked one last time toward him, quickly, over my shoulder, I saw him staring at his own hand. He then turned and left, too.

Even after I got home, even in the solitude of my room, I couldn't make my heart calm down. Kaori prowled around me and meowed, perhaps wondering what was wrong with me. However, even I myself didn't have the answer to that.