Work Text:
In Which a Courtship is Recorded and Reported, More or Less Accurately
Official Record of Courtship, Prepared by Gringotts Bank, by the Authority of the Sovereign Goblin Nation
On this the 15th day of the human designated month of July, I, Tornhelm, daughter of Farsought, Senior Manager at Gringotts and Holder of the House Krumov accounts, do hereby begin the Official Record of Courtship of one Hermione Jean Granger, Mundaneborn daughter of no House, hereby referred to as “the Courted,” by one Viktor Krum, Heir of House Krumov, hereby referred to as “Mr. Krum.”
As the Courted does not have any official guardian of record in the Wizarding World, Gristlebone, daughter of Steelclaw, Senior Manager at Gringotts and Holder of the House Potter accounts, will hereby stand as the Courted’s representative for this initial meeting upon the request of one Harry Potter, Heir of House Potter pending official confirmation of Headship, hereby referred to as “Mr. Potter.”
Let it here be noted by Senior Manager Gristlebone that the issue of the Courted’s lack of official guardian of record is to be addressed following the close of this meeting and recording of initiation of courtship with the aid of Mr. Potter’s legal team at the offices of Clearwater, Sutcliffe, and Chang. The issue of Mr. Potter’s ignorance of the existence of said legal team and for that matter of Senior Manager Gristlebone will also be addressed.
Also attending the proceedings are the witness for the Courted, the aforementioned Mr. Potter, and the witness for Mr. Krum, one Cedric Diggory, son of Amos Diggory of no House, proclaimed Champion of the Triwizard Tournament, hereby referred to as “Champion Diggory.”
Let it be here noted by Senior Manager Tornhelm that against the advice of his Senior Manager, Mr. Krum has elected to waive the standard courtship length of one year. The courtship will continue until such time as the Courted accepts his suit or when said Courted formally rejects his suit. Mr. Krum has furthermore rejected the advice to designate a date for the return of any courtship gifts by the Courted should the suit be formally rejected, with the sole exception of any Krumov heirlooms that may be gifted. All other gifts will thus remain the property of the Courted.
Let it also be noted by Senior Manager Gristlebone that against the advice of her representative, the Courted wishes to indicate her agreement with the advice of Senior Manager Tornhelm. Mr. Krum continues to insist upon his elected waiver.
The Courted’s response to this insistence is of a sentimental enough nature that it is deemed inappropriate to include in this official record. However, Mr. Potter, as witness, was noted to ask for more tea to “wash down all that sticky sweetness.” The Courted is noted to have thrown a biscuit at Mr. Potter in a proper expression of threatened violence as is appropriate for such proceedings. Both Senior Managers express their appreciation of the Courted’s attention to detail with regard to Nation customs. Champion Diggory was offered more tea due to a sudden coughing fit.
To continue: as is customary, this record should be considered a living document. Subsequent gifts will be added at which time as they are given, but will not warrant an official amendment. Such an amendment will only be processed as true revisions to the terms or parties are required and agreed upon by both the Courted and Mr. Krum.
Note: the standard provisions relating to the forfeit of possession of any Nation manufactured items to the Nation upon the death of the Courted will apply should such items be included among the courtship gifts.
At this time, the initial courtship gift is presented and is as follows in the ‘layman’s’ term:
A reusable portkey fashioned from a rose gold pendant shaped in the form of an open book with “From the Library of HJG” engraved on the page as if on a book plate. Said portkey is noted to be crafted by one Anton Krumov, current House Head, accredited Charms Master, accredited Master Jeweler (Human rank), at the commission of his son, Mr. Krum. This portkey is to be considered an ‘anytime’ pass to the Krumov House library, able to either transport the Courted herself to and from said library or to act as an inter-library loan which will bring any requested available books or documents to the Courted’s current location. The pendant additionally acts as an automatically updating catalog of the contents of said library.
Let it be noted that a brief recess was required while the Courted composed herself at the prospect of the aforementioned gift and for Mr. Potter to compose himself at the prospect of the Courted’s lack of composure and Mr. Krum’s, I quote “utter brilliance” unquote. Mr. Potter did wish it noted that Mr. Krum has set a very high bar for himself, to which Mr. Krum replied that he would rise to the occasion. Mr. Diggory was noted to be unamused by such a pun from a professional flier. Following this exchange, the Courted then required assurances that while, yes such a creation of a portkey by an individual was technically illegal, it was only so in Wizarding Britain, and Head Krumov as a Bulgarian national was unlikely to be prosecuted even if the supposed crime was discovered. Nor could the Courted face charges as she did not commission the gift herself.
Let it also be noted that Mr. Krum asked for one additional detail regarding the pendant be kept secret from the Courted as it currently is not in effect. Upon discussion with Mr. Krum as to the nature of that detail - under the cover of the aforementioned temporary lack of composure of the Courted - Senior Manager Gristlebone found the request to be reasonable and of no threat to the Courted. Thus, this transcription will be charmed against her detection until such time as the requirement for the detail to be revealed is fulfilled. Said detail is thus: that the initials on the pendant are charmed to change to HJGK upon the magical confirmation of marriage. When questioned, Mr. Krum confirmed the two family name initials were not in error and that he expected the Courted to request at minimum a hyphenated name due to the likelihood of professional publications penned under her maiden name. If by chance he is incorrect, Head Krumov has already agreed to update the engraving charm following the Courted’s confirmation of her preferred initials.
The above exchange of the initial courtship gift hereby concludes the initiation of this Official Record of Courtship. All involved parties will sign below with the appropriate verification of blood that they have thus far witnessed no reason this Courtship should not be initiated at this time. Senior Manager Tornhelm would like it noted that, while not necessarily required by these proceedings, her approval of Mr. Krum’s choice is nonetheless very much granted. The Courted was noted to blush rather becomingly at this statement, for a human anyway.
Amendment to the Official Record of Courtship, on this same 15th of July, following the aforementioned meeting with the representative, one Malcolm Sutcliffe, from the office of Clearwater, Sutcliffe, and Chang: “the Courted” will now refer to Hermione Jean Granger, Mundaneborn, blood adopted sibling of one Harry Potter, newly established Head of House Potter. The Courted is hereby newly established as a daughter of House Potter with all the rights and rank therein. Mr. Potter will continue in his role as witness to the Courtship Record, but now will also be authorized to negotiate on behalf of his House member as needed. The Courted is noted as stating vociferously that she is fully capable of negotiating on her own behalf, but will respect the cultural practices of the Nation and both Houses mentioned herein. Begrudgingly.
Personal Client Note by Malcolm Sutcliffe of Clearwater, Sutcliffe, and Chang, regarding New Client - or more accurately New Member of Existing Client Family - Hermione Granger and the submission of Courtship Initiation Documentation to Ministry of Magic:
At Harry’s request once he understood the possibility of the House adoption now that he’s claimed his Headship, we proceeded with all alacrity to add Hermione to the official registry - something that made them both incredibly happy, I was glad to see. Merlin knows both seemed to need that kind of connectedness. The bond between the kids was clear, and I’m glad Hermione’s suitor seemed to recognize the familial nature of said bond. I wouldn’t want to see it come to any kind of a fight between them. I have a suspicion Harry would win out which would likely surprise him, but maybe not Mr. Krum. He seems the type to have learned how to size up an opponent. As things stand now, Harry will likely be Mr. Krum’s ally in this Courtship business long term, if only because he’s a bit too excited about having a professional Seeker in the family so to speak.
Tho, that’s not fair. He also is clearly just thrilled for Hermione, and still a bit hero-worshiping the man who came and got him from that awful situation. Merlin’s balls, I’m almost hero-worshiping Krum for that myself! If I can’t admit that to myself here in the records that will only be seen by my eyes, then where can I? I’m so damned grateful to a stranger for doing my job for me! I know, it’s probably not technically my fault in any real way - not with what the Old Goat did to me and mine here at the office, but still. Part of me feels as if I should have been able to break those compulsions, to remember my loyalty to one of my family’s oldest clients. We were still charging the estate a monthly retainer, for Merlin’s sake! The account discrepancies alone should have triggered some concern - just something!
I probably should erase the above paragraph and some of the one above as well, but again, these are my private notes and addendums to the work I did for my client today. I’m likely to be far, far more, shall we say, creative with my language once I get to the tasks we tackled for Harry. But I honestly don’t have the emotional energy to deal with that pile of erumpent shit just yet. So back to the happiest of the job I did - that of giving my client a pseudo-sibling and filing said pseudo-sibling’s Courtship Initiation.
What I wouldn’t give to see the look on the face of whatever poor schmuck gets that file delivered to his desk first! What with the Minister’s oh-so-well-considered smear campaign against a bloody fourteen year old, anything to do with Harry is likely to be pounced on quicklike. For any other filing, I imagine he and his minions would likely try to block the document, send it back for errors or create an on the spot law to strike it down, or some other such nonsense. But with the very publicly adored Heir of House Krumov involved and thanks to the Nation’s glorious sense of redundancies and their blood signed forms in triplicate, the Ministry’s going to have a hard time burying our girl’s good news.
Hmm, the news. Now that’s an idea. Granted, I don’t trust any of the available periodicals for a strictly factual account of… well anything, really. But just having the British Wizarding Community get wind that the Courtship exists at all could be helpful.
And better yet, if we file the paperwork with Hermione’s legal name but not her new full legal name, it might distract the Old Goat from the other services we provided to Harry and the rest of his very remarkably complicated unofficial family. I’ll send Hermione a quick owl and see how she feels about a bit of propaganda warfare. Unfortunately I know all too well - as likely she does - that any news about it at this point is likely to have a negative slant, but if she’s willing to weather it, I think it might be a solid strategy.
And it’s certainly not like the press can stop the Courtship. Not with the way Krum looks at that girl. I hope I’ve never looked quite so damn lovesick. I will not be asking Taron about the matter. He’s too likely to laugh at me.
Announcement of Alleged Courtship
From the Society Pages of The Daily Prophet
(Note, said announcement was printed in extra small font on the very last section of the Society Pages as if to avoid it being read.)
Mr. Viktor Krum of House Krum and Miss Henrietta Ginger have entered into an official Courtship as recorded and witnessed by both Gringotts and the Law Offices of Crystalwater, Settlers, and Chong. Any changes and or crying off of said Courtship shall be reported when they inevitably occur.
Edit to Announcement of Courtship
From the Society Pages of The Daily Prophet
(Note: said edited announcement is still in the very last section of the Society Pages, but is in a slightly larger font.)
As per a memorandum and warning of intention to sue for libel from the Law Offices of Clearwater, Sutcliffe, and Chang, the following edits have been provided to the previous Announcement of Courtship:
Mr. Viktor Krum of House Krumov and Miss Hermione Granger have entered into an official Courtship as recorded and witnessed by both Gringotts and the aforementioned Law Offices. Any subsequent official updates to this Courtship shall be reported in due time.
Courtship of Champions? That Witch’s an Attempted Triwizard Winner Indeed!
Article found in WITCH WEEKLY Magazine
Byline by Nostradama Parkinson
Hey there, witches! It’s me again, your personal Nosy Parker, getting all the gossip for you first!
So was anyone else bummed all the juicy drama of the Triwizard Tournament was over for now? Well, I have good news for you, and it’s all about all the most famous players from that treacherous game of hearts.
Now then, we all know the story of the Muggleborn who stole - and broke - Harry Potter’s heart during the Tournament (See previous article by R. Skeeter), but did she really cast him aside the way we all thought she did?
Apparently not!
Despite the rumored estrangement, the pair were seen in Hogsmeade together just yesterday morning.
And you’ll never guess who was seen with them! None other than the Bulgarian Bonbon himself, Viktor Krum! The burly Bulgarian Seeker supposedly side-along apparated both to the village - a stunning display of his prowess if true. What he was doing there with his apparent paramour and his rival, he didn’t say, but he and the pair hustled into Scrivenshaft’s, and, so my sources say, there headed straight for the back door to Gringotts. Whatever they were up to, the goblins are clearly involved!
There, my dear readers, the plot thickened even further as the Triwizard Champion of all our hearts, all around good guy Cedric Diggory joined the trio! Now, while his health has been in question following the mysterious events during the Third Task and his tragic head injury - surely the cause of his questionable comments in support of Mr. Potter’s blatant untruths after (See previous article “The Boy Who Lived to Lie”), he still is considered quite a catch, and one wonders at him joining the orbit around Ms. Granger.
He neglected to comment via Owl Post later and, of course, the goblins blocked all attempts to peek in on the now foursome’s bank business, but my source in the Ministry of Magic says shortly after the group was noted to leave the bank, a Record of Courtship was submitted to the official Ministry record!
For now, the details are restricted until their public announcement, but what we all want to know is, which of these young men has the Muggleborn witch snared, anyway?
Or, more scandalously yet - is it all of them?
Triad and quartet arrangements have been known to happen after all, but the marriage rituals for such a match are… questionable, shall we say? Finding someone with the knowledge to perform such a rite might lead someone down some less-than-Light roads. But then, the delicious Mr. Krum is a graduate of none other than Durmstrang, and we all know that school’s reputation for the Dark Arts, don’t we now? Could Ms. Granger have set her sights on the star Seeker with such a reputation in mind? How long has she been plotting to ensnare her own personal harem?
No one can say for sure, but it is certain that she and those three utterly eligible bachelors were, in fact, seen at Gringotts for a Courtship recording. Why else would all three men attend if not to court the same woman?
You decide - but I know what story I’ll be telling!
As a reminder, while our own Rita Skeeter may be on hiatus, she’s hard at work on - wait for it - a full length book! The subject is still very hush hush for now, but you know you’ll get the details right here first as soon as they’re officially available. And maybe even before then! *nudge nudge wink wink*
Just remember, you can always find the answers here first, with your own personal Nosy Parker. Keep your noses to the ground, witches!
Letter from Harry Potter to Ron Weasley
Hey Ron,
I’ll write a longer note later but I wanted to get this to you before the news hit. I hope the owl makes it in time.
Here’s the thing - Hermione is being Courted. Like, officially with a capital C and everything. I was there at the bank to witness it all (long story though guess what - I’m away from the Dursleys!!), and mate, she’s so happy. I mean, really happy.
So this is me writing to ask you to be all right about it when you see her, or at least not actively angry about it. I know you haven’t said it, but I think we all knew you thought maybe someday you and Hermione would be something. But maybe it is best this way, that we’ll all just say best friends, you know?
…I’m making a mess of this, aren’t I? Let’s try this again. Hermione, Viktor, Courtship. It’s happening, and I’m betting it will eventually be a marriage. Very eventually though - you know Hermione will want to have her eventual career up and running first and all. I figure Viktor’s in for a long wait. But you know, I think he’s all right with that? And I think I actually like him even more because of it? Aside from a lot of other reasons I have to like him right now.
But anyway, I mean, it’s not like she asked for my approval or anything - though, funny story about that so ask me about it later, yeah? - but if she had, I think I’d have to approve, you know?
And I think you would too if you could step back from what you’d thought might happen eventually. Just think about it, please? I’m not sure when I’ll be seeing you in person - though I bet it will be sooner than Dumbledore planned on, but I hope it’s soon. I miss you and your family.
Signed,
Harry
P.S. You know what the Prophet and Witch Weekly tend to be like, so if you could, please try to keep your mum from sending Hermione a Howler. Seriously, please.