Chapter Text
Izuku Midoriya didn’t remember why he had originally checked his phone at that party because his world shattered when the news flashed across his screen:
“Toshinori Yagi, best known for life long role as beloved superhero AllMight, dead at 89.”
Izuku stared stupidly at the headline. He opened the article and read through it. Heart attack it said. His palms started to sweat as he opened up his web browser and searched the news to make sure all this wasn’t some tasteless and gross April Fool’s joke in… May.
It wasn’t. It was real. AllMight was dead.
“Fuck.”
“Izuku did you just swear?” Ochako Uraraka was bouncing up and down to the music next to him but stopped to lean over his shoulder. She was clutching a red solo cup in one hand that was still half filled with a combination of cheap liquor, juice, and soda. A frat party’s version of a cocktail. Izuku’s own red solo cup was currently empty, an issue that he was going to have to remedy immediately in order to deal with this new reality.
“I didn’t even know you were capable of swearing,” Ochako giggled, still leaning on Izuku’s shoulder, unaware of this monumental tragedy. Her brown bob tickled his cheek.
Izuku turned to her sharply, and she staggered backwards a bit, taking in the look on his face, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“All-all-all-” Izuku’s hand holding his phone had started shaking and he was stuttering. But he was too distraught (and too drunk) to be self conscious about it. Besides, this was Ochako he was talking to. She had been his closest friend for the past decade. And was also too drunk to mind.
“Is it your grades? I thought they were all posted already?” she reached for his phone, trying to get a look at what it said. Her brow furrowed as she tried to understand what she was reading on the screen.
“Toshinori is dead.” Izuku finally got out. For some reason, opting for the actor’s real name over the hero’s name was easier.
“Oh…” some of the concern disappeared from Ochako’s tone as she said, “That sucks.”
A little sound, something close to a sob, escaped Izuku, and Ochako turned her gaze back up to him, trying quickly to cover up her mistake. “He was like… ancient though? Right? Like this isn’t really surprising? It sucks though. You used to be kind of a big fan, right?”
Izuku nodded and suddenly everything in the room was too loud. He could hear the music again and feel all the people around him. Pressing in on him. The bass thumped inside of his chest and he noticed that though Ochako was trying to comfort him, her head was bobbing a little bit to the beat and her eyes were darting around like she was looking for an out. He was more than happy to provide her with one, “I’m going to go get another drink.”
She smiled at him and said, “That sounds like a good idea!”
As soon as he pushed his way out of the room, Ochako found someone else to dance with, whooping and laughing. Back to celebrating another grueling but successful year.
Izuku stumbled into the kitchen, the countertops glittering with liquor bottles and beer cans, and sticky with spills from tipsy students. He reached for a half filled bottle of rum and poured some of it into his empty cup, then filled it up the rest of the way with coke that had lost most of it’s carbonation. He then headed out the back door, surprised but relieved to find the back porch of the house empty.
With a sigh, he slumped into an adirondacks chair in a far dark corner of the deck, cuddled his drink close to his chest, and opened the news back up. He read through every article he could find.
AllMight had meant so much to him growing up, had been a part of his life from his earliest memories. He was obsessed with the superhero movies as a young child, had all the merch and comic books. He knew, rationally, that just because the actor died, that didn’t mean AllMight had died. AllMight was a fictional character. Future comic books could still come out. Toshinori hadn’t even been in any new movies in the last few decades. And yet… it still felt monumental to Izuku. Like an end to something that he couldn’t name and wasn’t ready to face.
After a few more minutes of reading articles about the current news, Izuku pulled up his YouTube app and searched for his favorite clips from the old AllMight movies. And even some clips from his favorite Toshinori interviews. Izuku didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his face.
—
Katsuki Bakugo needed some fucking air.
He really did hate these kinds of parties. Or any kinds of parties, actually. But Eijiro had begged and whined about it, complaining that Katsuki always skipped every party and this one was really important because the red-headed-idiot had actually passed all of his classes this year so that should be celebrated. Katsuki agreed. It should be celebrated. By the red-headed-idiot who cared so much.
Well, that almost made Eijiro cry saying he THOUGHT Katsuki cared too and Katsuki decided it would be much easier to spend one night sulking around a dumb party to keep his idiot happy rather than spending a few weeks trying to figure out a pain-free way to make it up to him. There would be no pain-free way. It was either pain now or pain later.
Katsuki graced the party with his presence two hours after it got rolling, pounded back just enough drinks to get a small buzz going, and then spent most of his time following Eijiro around while slowly nursing a beer in order to remain just pleasantly tipsy.
At first, Eijiro only wanted to socialize and play a few drinking games. But then, he wanted to dance. And he dragged Katsuki into it as well. The basement of the frat house that was hosting this party was one large open space. All the furniture had been removed except for a table in a corner being used by the DJ. There had to be at least fifty college students down there, all in various stages of drunken relief at completing another semester. Ready for summer break.
There was no way to exist in that room without being touched and bumped into by various people. Katsuki’s nightmare. He followed Eijiro down the steps, took one look, and then shouted over the music, “I’m gonna go have a smoke.”
“You smoke?” Eijiro turned back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Since when?”
“Mina is waving at you,” Katsuki pointed to where he spotted Mina’s bright pink hair. She definitely hadn’t seen them yet, but he didn’t care. The distraction worked. Eijiro turned, spotted her as well, and immediately started weaving through the crowd to dance alongside her. Big, dumb, love-sick bastard.
Katsuki didn’t waste any time getting the hell out of there.
When he got to the top of the stairs, he downed the rest of his drink so that he could grab a fresh one from the fridge and then headed out the back door to the porch. The spring night air hit him in the face and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. He really hated parties.
He set his beer down on the porch railing and dug around in his pocket for cigarettes and a lighter. Kirishima was right: he wasn’t really a smoker. At least, not until just before finals this very semester. It was the week before tests, and he was stressed the fuck out, but he didn’t want to show it. After one grueling six hour long session in the library, that wasn’t even over yet, he stepped outside to get some air. There, he had run into the smokers. An older student took one look at him and just handed him a cigarette. Katsuki silently took it. And that’s how the habit started it.
He liked it. He liked the excuse to step outside. Even though he know it was horrible for you, and he had every intention to quit tomorrow. He just wanted this last one as a chance to step away from the nightmare inside.
He pulled out his box of cigarettes and lit one of the last ones up, taking a puff and sighing as he leaned against the porch railing.
“I didn’t know you smoked.”
“Fuck!” Katsuki jumped, almost dropping his cigarette, as he whirled around towards the noise. There was a figure hunched in one of the adirondacks chairs on the far side of the deck.
“Sorry,” the figure sniffled. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Who the fuck- ?” Katsuki squinted at the figure.
They shifted a little in their seat, hoodie dropping back to reveal wild curly hair and big watery eyes. Deku. “How’re you doing Kacchan?”
“Fine,” Katsuki grumbled, settling back against the railing and putting his cigarette back up to his lips. He squinted at the other boy. He hadn’t seen Deku cry in a long time. Well… he hadn’t seen much of Deku at all in a long time. Katsuki was furious when they both got into the same college, Yuei University, and even more furious that Deku was going after the same degree, Law. He thought the nerd was going to follow him around forever. But it turned out that there was room enough to spread out on campus and they had their own sets of friends. This was maybe the first interaction they had had all semester.
“That’s good,” Deku tried to smile a little, but it wobbled and fell after a second. It pissed Katsuki off. He didn’t know what to do with crying people. They made him uncomfortable. And he had come outside to get a break from being uncomfortable, goddamnit.
Despite what his mother would say he had learned a few things about how to interact with other people over the years, so Katsuki asked, “What the fuck is the matter with you?” (Ok, so maybe he hadn’t fully incorporated all that he had learned, shut up.)
Deku shifted around in his seat, “Oh, um… it’s actually…” and then to Katsuki’s absolute horror, he started sobbing in earnest.
Wide eyed, Katsuki looked around, as if one of Deku’s friends would materialize nearby and take over the situation, but they unfortunately didn’t. “Hey, maybe I should go get-” he started to say, as he backed away towards the door, but Deku was now thrusting his phone into Katsuki’s face.
He didn’t know what he expected to see. Maybe a breakup text? Although, he wasn’t aware Deku was dating anyone. (Not that he kept up with Deku’s dating life!) But as he took the phone from Deku’s shaking hands, he was able to read the headline of a news article about Yagi Toshinori, AllMight, having passed away.
Something squeezed in the pit of Katsuki’s stomach, a physical response that he would never have expected. He knew it was stupid and naive of him, but he never let go of the image he had as a kid of AllMight being a real and powerful force of strength and goodness. How many hours of his life had he spent pouring over AllMight comics late at night by flashlight? Watching AllMight movie marathons whenever he was having a bad day? He even had a small collection of rare memorabilia in his room back home and an old AllMight trading card still tucked in his wallet. When they were five, he and Deku both got the same one out of a mystery pack of cards. He still remembers the rush of joy that shot through his whole small self when he and his best friend held up their matching cards with their favorite hero.
Everything was so easy then. Uncomplicated.
A hand touched Katsuki’s and he jumped. Deku was reaching to take his phone back. Katsuki wasn’t sure how long he had been clutching it, but he let go of it quickly like it had burned him.
“Fuck,” he sighed, putting his cigarette back up to his lips and taking a long breath in.
“Yeah…” Deku breathed out a shaky sigh as well. “And it’s like… I can’t believe… I’m such a crybaby. I can’t believe this has got me so upset. The guy was ancient. Everyone knew this was coming soon.”
Katsuki grunts.
“It’s just that… he was such a big part of my childhood. He inspired me to push myself harder, and now look where I am? One of the top schools in the country. He’s just… he’s always been there. Which sounds so insane, I know, it’s just that-”
“Shut up.” Katsuki interrupts.
Deku gasps and looks up with big watery green eyes. Katsuki takes one last puff of his cigarette before saying, “It’s not stupid. I get it.” And, having had enough of emotions and people to last him days, he leaves.