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“Which of you did this?” Lucifer’s voice was distressingly calm. The same kind of calm that told each of his onlooking brothers that he was exactly two seconds away from tying one of them up in the basement and seeing how long it took for them to starve or go mad – whichever came last.
“Did what?” Asmo asked as he finished buffing his nails to a perfectly rounded tip.
Lucifer held up a frayed leash, covered in mud.
“I don’t get it,” Beel said as he looked at the leash.
“One of you managed to let Cerberus out and had to leave my meeting with Lord Diavolo to go searching for him. Whoever it was will find themselves strung from the basement ceiling as a new chew toy for him."
"It wasn't me," Mammon immediately shouted in his defense. "I wouldn't go near that basement."
"You literally tried to rob one of the tombs down there last week because you thought someone may have been buried with their jewelry," Asmo huffed.
"I only suggested it. Don't go making me a criminal when I ain't one."
Everyone in the room stared at him in uncomfortable silence.
"Why aren't the others being asked?" Beel finally broke the awkwardness.
"Satan has been out nearly all day," Lucifer clarified, "Leviathan hasn't left his room in just as long judging by the trash built up in there, and Belphie won't wake up for me to interrogate him. Now, which of you is responsible?" His magic swirled around him, threatening to ruin whichever one of them didn't own up to it.
"I'm hurt that you'd think I'd do anything to endanger poor, sweet Cerberus like that," Asmodeus said in an exaggerated tone. "I could never."
Beel tilted his head in confusion. "I thought you didn't like Cerberus?"
"And that's why I clearly couldn't be the one at fault." Asmo's face twisted into a sneer from even thinking about the possibility. "Imagine the horror of smelling like dog. It doesn't match my aesthetic."
It was terrible logic, but Lucifer had to admit that it was very Asmoesque logic.
He turned to the other two. "And your excuses?"
"It wasn't me!" Mammon quickly reiterated his last defense. "I would never go to the basement."
"You think that's enough logic to defend yourself?" Lucifer glared, his magic cracking the air around him so harshly that it sounded like a bullwhip.
"You don't believe your sweet little brother?"
"We're all his little brothers, idiot," Asmo muttered under his breath.
"Shadup!"
"I haven't heard a reason why it couldn't have been you." Lucifer's voice grew darker and darker by the moment.
"It just couldn'a been!"
"Mammon is afraid there are ghosts in the old tombs," Beel said as he held his stomach, obviously thinking about sneaking away to grab something to eat. "He never goes down there."
"I'm not afraid!" Mammon barked. "I just dun' have a reason to go down there."
Lucifer shut his eyes and gripped the bridge of his nose. At least this particular incident wasn't Mammon's fault, but that only left one last suspect.
He turned to Beel. "And you?"
Beel seemed to think about the question, but shook his head. "I didn't let Carberus out. He was sleeping when I went into the tomb this morning."
"Beel," Asmo sighed, "that means you were the only one that went to the basement."
"Oh…" The pieces finally seemed to click into place.
Lucifer's rage seemed to reignite. His demonic form overtook him instantly. "Why were you in the tombs?"
"You were gone all night at Diavolo's place, so I was checking on him to make sure he had food and wasn't lonely." Beel looked downward at the ground like a scolded puppy. "I didn't realize he got out."
There was a beat of silence before Lucifer folded his wings back and dropped his demonic form. "I see. Make sure you clean him up. He managed to make a complete mess of himself."
"Okay…"
"Is that it?!" Mammon yelped. "You would'a hung me from the rafters if I did it!" Not that he wanted that for Beel, but it felt unfair.
Again, Lucifer's form shifted and his dark aura circled around them. "I still could, if you're volunteering."
Mammon winced. "Ehhh… Nevermind."
"Good." He went back to his human face and turned his back on the lot of them. "I have to get back now. Ensure that Cerberus doesn't get out the next time you check on him."
Then he was off, leaving the three of them alone in the room.
Asmo laughed lightly as soon as Lucifer was out of range. "You really got off light there, Beel."
Beel looked at him in confusion.
"Nevermind." He looked at his nails, admiring his work once again. "Let's just say that Lucifer really does have a soft spot for big puppies."