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A weight on the mattress, and Kaylee's grin greeting her. "Wake up, sleepyhead. Today is your day!"
In Orion, her mother would be fussing about her. Fingers busy at her hair, tucking any stray bits away. Maids at attention in the room, ready to swaddle her in the most beautiful silk confection or collecting a fresh flowers to complete the desired look. Seventeen was an important age, her mother would say, kissing her forehead with a butterfly touch. Her little girl, a young woman now.
Zöe passes by her at the breakfast table, and ruffles her hair affectionately. The captain puts a hand at her shoulder and wishes her a stilted happy birthday before marching away. Counts as extra hugs, River decides.
In that other life, there would be motherly advice. Silly things about boys and stern reminders of proper behavior.
"I just want to dance tonight, mama," River would say, already twirling on her toes.
And her mother would sigh.
There would be love, if not wisdom, and River would know she was wanted even when she'd never quite belonged there.
Inara lets her experiment with her cosmetics. What starts as a lesson in the best colors for her complexion ends with River using the eyeshadows as a palette for a new abstract picture. Inara looks on, unruffled, and promises to braid her hair after her artwork is done.
Later, once she'd been bathed, perfumed and clothed, her father would take her arm and reassure her that she looks so pretty - and answer vaguely when she presses about that new edition of the medical text she can't yet access from her private cortex. "It's your party, River," he'd say, "enjoy it."
If she had the chance to catch up with the brightest surgeons in the Core - one never knew what they'd gotten wrong this time - she'd enjoy the afternoon better.
But a birthday girl had obligations she couldn't escape, and she was loved if never understood.
It hurt, just a little, but she still nodded and let her father lead her to their guests.
She coincides with Jayne in the kitchen, receiving a scowl for a greeting. But he still lets her have first choice from the fruit bowl, even as he grunts for her to hurry on her way out.
She would be formally introduced to the same family friends and business partners that had watched her grow up. They would all pretend she's not the inquisitive little girl who asked impossible questions and bedeviled them further by answering them, and they would compliment her figure, her dress, her sweet voice and such beautiful face, and her father would smile, so pleased, through it all.
"This is our River," he would say, and the other men would smile at the pride in his voice. A deserved pride, they would all think, already aware that the youngest Tam is the smartest of them. "She's meant for big things."
And later still, all niceties observed and dues paid, her brother would steal her onto the dance floor and - finally! - she would be able to breathe.
Simon is right behind Kaylee in the morning, and he exchanges nods with Zöe and the captain. Inara invites him to join them for tea, and at dinner he glares at Jayne across the table. "You're happy?" he asks now, genuinely worried and quite upset he's only been able to give her a compendium on cardiac diseases almost two years out of date. "If we were home..."
But River distracts him with a hug.
In that other life, he wouldn't wait for the music to stop before whisking her into the library, sending a servant with the message that so much commotion has given River a headache and she'll be resting for the rest of the night.
"Of course, they'll know I'm lying," he'd whisper, trying for a wicked smile that never quite fits on his gentle face. "You owe me, sis."
Simon will always rescue her, no matter which life they lead.
Will always want a better life for her, too.
"I swear, River. The day I can send you away from here..."
"Silly," she tells him, both now and then, "Where you are, that's home."
The End
25/10/15