Chapter Text
Hannah tells Ken, “I have something I need to tell you…”
She finds herself sitting in her car alone.
She takes consecutive deep breaths. She had called it. She wasn’t going to be going back to the home that she shared with Ken. She turns on her car and heads to Shira’s.
She figures that she’s functioning at some sort of lower capacity. Her thoughts were sluggish. She has to remind herself to concentrate on the road ahead of her.
She parks and locks her car.
Her feet feel heavy. She doesn’t have a key. She idly hopes that Shira is there.
It takes a knock before Shira opens the door wide. Her smile disappears. She ushers Hannah inside.
Hannah leans against the island in the kitchen.
Shira has a hand on her forearm. Concern is etched on her face.
Hannah stitches the words together. “I talked to Ken. He knows.”
No joke comes from Shira.
“I… it’s over.”
There’s a silence between them, then she hears Shira say, “Come here, come here.”
She wraps her arms around he taller woman. She holds them both up.
There was a million things Hannah was going to have to do. But what she does is breathe Shira in.
Shira navigates them to the couch. She doesn’t bother putting anything on the tv.
She pulls a blanket over them. Hannah is nestled into Shira, she’s practically melting onto her.
She had done the right thing.
Shira kisses her forehead. This woman loved her.
She falls asleep in her arms.
It’s dark when Shira wakes up with the front door opening. She manages to extricate herself from the couch and Hannah without waking her up.
She meets Mickey in the kitchen.
She thinks she must be making a face when her nephew asks her what’s going on. She doesn’t actually know what he does or does not know.
Shira speaks in a hushed tone. “Hannah’s asleep.”
He peaks over her shoulder, he sees her inert form nearly stretching the length of the couch. He looks to his aunt with a question in his eyes.
She braces for whatever Mickey was gong to say.
“Is she okay?”
That was not what Shira was expecting. She thought she was going to have to fling herself out of the closet in front of him. This was not that.
“She will be.”
“Is she hurt?”
“Physically? No.”
He takes in her words.
“Do you need me to leave?”
“No. No, of course not Mickey. This is your home.” She sighs. “She, Hannah, will probably be staying with us for a while.”
He doesn’t pry. He can sense an undercurrent radiating from Shira.
She tells him to order pizzas. She watches him tap in an order on his phone.
She puts three twenties on the counter. “For the delivery guy.”
Hannah wakes up from the delivery driver ringing the doorbell. Mickey emerges from his room.
Shira had set out plates and silverware for each of them.
The pizza is on the counter, Mickey fills up his plate. Shira puts a slice on Hannah’s plate before getting one for herself. They sit next to each other with Mickey across from them.
It’s quiet save from the sounds of them chewing.
Hannah insists on doing the dishes when everyone’s finished eating.
Shira asks when she’s done. “Bed?”
She answers with a yes.
Shira scrounges up a new toothbrush, and lends Hannah her longest t-shirt and a set of boxer shorts. The shirt barely makes it to her hips.
Shira closes the door shut behind her.
Hannah gets into bed. Shira follows after taking off her sweatpants. It’s domestic as if they had forged this routine night after night for years.
It’s easier there in the dark. Not that either of them would have said it aloud, but it was true. Because in that room it could just be them, the rest of the world existed outside the four walls and in the daylight.
Hannah could have said her eyes were leaking. In reality she was trying not to cry. Everything she had said to Ken had been true. She knew what she wanted. This is what she wanted. It wasn’t him. It’s not that she regrets the life that they had built together. She loves their son. But didn’t she deserve a chance to be free? What if for once she put herself ahead? What then. She was more than his wife. She was her own person.
She didn’t know how to tell Shira that now there was a clear demarcation. Hannah had chosen herself. She had also chosen Shira.
“I meant it, when I said I love you.”
Shira moves to lay on her side. Hannah is laying on her back staring up at the ceiling.
She had always meant that.
She can feel Shira’s attention. The room is falling more into focus.
She reminds herself that this is her life.
She had not said the words in order to hear them echoed back. What Shira says softly between them is, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
It was a promise she was making to Hannah. She wasn’t going to run. She was going to stay. She was going to fight for whatever it was between them.
She trusts her and she loves her.
She kisses her once, twice, three times. The future stretched out ahead of them. Shira’s right there with her.
Their foreheads touch.
Shira spoons Hannah. She holds her and Hannah feels safe. She thinks that this is what home could feel like.