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Izuku has always just wanted to be accepted by Bakugou. Kacchan was his first and only friend and Izuku didn't want to let go of that. Yeah maybe their friendship has always been a bit unfair, Kacchan led and Izuku followed and if Izuku didn't want to follow, well then that was his problem.
After Izuku got diagnosed quirkless and Kacchan developed his powerful quirk, the explosive boy finally decided Izuku wasn't worth his time and quickly tried to violently get rid of Izuku.
Izuku tried so hard to be accepted, he took the beatings and insults with a smile on his face and “Kacchan you're so powerful and smart”, anything to be accepted. He humiliated himself daily, so maybe Kacchan would see him and accept him, but it just seemed to annoy the boy more. Izuku didn't know what he did wrong.
Then they got to U.A. (Izuku still thinks it might be a dream that he is training to be the first quirkless hero and gained a mentor on the way. Aizawa-sensei had seen the small quirkless boy and seen potential, so now they met every Tuesday and Thursday to train in private) In U.A. Kacchan rejected all attempts at friendship just like in his previous schools. When Izuku got no friends (everyone was friendly with him, but not close) he felt the first spark of anger. Kacchan got friends handed to him on a silver platter and he wasn't thankful at all, while Izuku was left with nothing.
Quickly Izuku took deep breaths, he isn't going to be angry, being angry was bad and Izuku isn't bad, he is training to be a hero, heroes aren't bad (he ignores all the things he knew about how bad suppressing your emotions is).
Then Kirishima Eijirou didn't give up, just like Izuku once, and Izuku felt bad for the other boy.
Until slowly Kacchan accepted Kirishima in his own backwards way. When Izuku realized that, he couldn't get quickly enough to private so he could sob his heart out. What did Kirishima have that he didn't? Izuku's already fragile confidence was in pieces, Kirishima was obviously more strong and smart and better than Izuku. He also had a quirk, Izuku didn't. Izuku wasn't worth anything, not even a toxic friendship.
When Kacchan hits Izuku during their final exams, Izuku feels another spark of anger. Fine, if Kach- no, if Bakugou wants to fail miserably, then he can, Izuku isn’t going to stop him.
Then Izuku quickly shakes his head, no he isn't going to be angry. He takes deep breaths and counts to ten. Then (like he always does) Izuku runs after Bakugou.
Izuku feels physically ill when he suggests Kirishima should be the one to reach for Bakugou in the Kamino Ward. He knew Kirishima was a good guy from the few conversations they've had and months of observing him, but Izuku can't help but to be a bit annoyed (angry) at the boy. Izuku hates the fact and tries to ignore it as much as he can, it wasn't Kirishima's fault Izuku couldn't let go of his childhood best friend.
When Bakugou was saved, the boy screams and yells at them for being idiots and trying to save him while “he was just fine on his own”, Izuku feels another spark of anger. He had broken his body and risked getting expelled for the boy, but he can't even get a thank you.
The dorms are hell, Izuku is constantly reminded by how lonely he is, everyone else hanging out and spending time together while Izuku sits in the corner alone. He has to see every day how goddamn close Bakugou and Kirishima have gotten. They spend so much time together Bakugou always pushing Kirishima away and Kirishima pushing back until Bakugou relents. In Izuku's opinion Kirishima deserves better. It sounds wrong because Izuku so desperately wants to be Bakugou’s friend, but Izuku doesn’t deserve anything good, he was useless. (Aizawa-sensei has been trying to get those ideas out of Izuku's head, on multiple occasions asking what's holding him down, Izuku will be dead before he admits Bakugou Katsuki has such a big effect on him).
One day when Izuku suddenly hears Kacchan genuinely laugh at something Kirishima says and the anger in Izuku nearly boils over, quickly he gets up and leaves, making sure his steps are calm and face neutral so no one will ask questions. It’s brave of him to assume anyone would ask.
When Izuku gets to his room, he throws the nearest thing (an Ectoplasm figurine) against the opposite wall. Instantly he feels bad, there is a dent on the wall and Izuku feels like a monster. He isn't supposed to be angry, but he couldn't help the fact that he felt like his blood was going to boil over and his skin felt like it was on fire.
Izuku distracts himself with school work and avoids both Kirishima and Bakugou as much as he can, until one day he's eating and Bakugou walks in the kitchen. Izuku quickly gets up and throws the rest of his cereal in the trash, quickly trying to leave out of Bakugou's way, but then he hears Bakugou mumble:
“Fucking Deku”, Izuku didn't even do anything. He was trying so hard to be quiet and out of the way but somehow Bakugou is still pissed off at him.
“What did I do now?” Izuku demands before he can stop himself. Kami this is bad, Izuku can feel his heartbeat all over his body, an angry blush on his cheeks. He was so fucking angry.
“Hah?!” Bakugou turns around, red eyes staring holes through Izuku.
“I asked what I fucking did wrong”, yep, Izuku is a goner now. He never swears, but now felt like a suitable situation.
“The fuck you on about Deku? Hah?! You challenging me, bastard?” Bakugou growls and Izuku can feel his anger rearing back, yeah the fucker is so surprised Izuku is finally standing up for himself, it was his mistake to take for granted Izuku would always bend to his will.
“Fuck you Bakugou”, Izuku says and Kami did it feel good to finally get it out. Bakugou can go fuck himself.
“You'll regret that shithead”, Bakugou growls, letting out explosions, Izuku automatically stands in a fighting stance.
When the first hit comes, Izuku is prepared, he pushes the right hook away and sends his own right after it, getting Bakugou on the cheek. Normally the boy could have easily dodged it, but Izuku is pretty sure he expected Izuku to just cower and take the beating like he always does. It feels so good to fight back, Izuku can feel his blood roaring and adrenaline pumping.
“You'll die!” Bakugou yells and suddenly there is an explosion right on Izuku's face, he quickly steps back, the heat burns, but Izuku ignores it, nothing burns worse than his anger. Izuku kicks Bakugou's leg and quickly sends another punch, this time Bakugou catches it and explosions burn on Izuku's wrist, Bakugou's other hand comes to Izuku's neck squeezing and letting out explosions simultaneously, Izuku can feel panic overpowering his anger, but not enough to stop him from sending a knee to Bakugou’s stomach. Bakugou steps back, catching his breath.
“You'll die!” the boy screams and prepares to send an explosion to Izuku's face, but suddenly his quirk is canceled.
“What on earth is going on in here”, Izuku can hear Aizawa-sensei ask. Quickly Izuku steps back. Bakugou still tries to continue attacking, but Aizawa-sensei quickly restrains him with his capture weapon.
Izuku's anger is gone and now Izuku just feels insanely quilty. Kami he is an awful person. Why did he let his anger get the better of him, maybe he should just give up on being a hero.
“Midoriya explain now”, Aizawa-sensei orders and Izuku swallows.
“We got into a fight, I’m sorry, I'll make sure it never happens again”, Izuku mumbles. He should probably just quit U.A. He is too violent to be a hero.
“Okay, detention for both of you every evening next week, Midoriya come with me”, Aizawa-sensei orders and Izuku feels himself pale. This was it, he was going to get expelled. Bakugou tries to follow, but one glare from Aizawa stops him.
“Calm down and leave Midoriya alone, go to Recovery Girl if needed”, Aizawa orders and Bakugou grumbles something, stomping towards his room.
Izuku follows Aizawa-sensei until they are sitting on some benches outside the dorm building.
“What happened kid, getting in fights is a bit unusual from you?” Aizawa asks more gently. Izuku sighs. He knew his sensei would want to know what made this happen. The man was really observant about Izuku's emotions.
“I got angry”, the boy admits with tears of shame in his eyes. This is it, he is going to get expelled.
“Anger is a normal emotion, everyone gets angry. The difference is how people handle it”, Aizawa-sensei says, making Izuku confused.
“But it's not heroic to be angry”, Izuku mumbles. Aizawa sighs.
“As I said, everyone gets angry sometimes. I get angry so much, sometimes from small things like running out of coffee, sometimes from big things like some cruel villain, does it make me a bad hero?” Aizawa asks.
“No, of course not. I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you angry”, Izuku admits.
“Hmm, not everyone's anger looks like Bakugou’s does. I would dare to say the way Bakugou handles his anger is one of the more unhealthy examples, but I'm working on getting him therapy”, Aizawa says and Izuku feels surprised.
“But how do you handle anger in a healthy way?” Izuku asks, the only way he knew was to pretend you don't feel it, but that ended up being a bad idea.
“It's something you have to figure out yourself, but for me it helps to do things that make me feel calm, like spending time with those who are important to me and if that doesn't help, I train till I'm too tired to be angry. The important thing is to accept that you're angry and let it be, but not let it control you”, Aizawa-sensei advises and Izuku feels a bit more hopeful, maybe he's not a horrible person.
“Thank you”, Izuku mumbles.
“Anytime kid and next time you feel angry, let me know and we can work on finding you a healthy way to deal with it”, Aizawa says and Izuku nods eagerly.
(Present Mic will never recover from when two days later he walk in on Aizawa and Izuku screaming swear words to the walls in gym beta)