Chapter Text
The night is bitter
The stars have lost their glitter
The winds blow colder
Suddenly you’re older…
If twenty-one was the loneliest number, twenty-three was perhaps her darkest sister.
It was funny — not at all in the haha sense, but in the sense of cosmic mockery that Rory felt everything was these days — that in just two short years, her life could be so drastically different than she ever imagined. It was on this day, two years ago, that things may not have fallen into place yet — that would take a few more weeks — but they were starting to. Lorelai actually showed up for her birthday despite the silence, Luke was the father she needed despite him never being so biologically, and she was surrounded by the people who loved her.
And now, she was here. Sitting in a tiny, dreary North Carolina hotel room, the dark clouds and rain that had lasted the entire day matching her mood. It was a rare day when she was entirely free, no events to rush off to or planes to catch, just a day where she could catch up on deadlines and enjoy the occasional text or Facebook message wishing her a happy birthday.
From everyone except who she truly wanted to hear from.
It had been nearly four months since the last time she saw Logan, last heard his voice, and watched him walk away. Radio silence had been the rule of the day ever since, from him and everyone she had thought to consider a friend (and family, if her answer had been different) through him. It seemed that the friendships were, at least at this point, conditional on whether or not she currently breaking Logan’s heart.
She couldn’t, and didn’t, blame them one bit.
Sighing softly to herself, Rory took the last semi-warm drink of her coffee and looked back to the screen of her empty word document, the lack of ideas mocking her just like everything else was. Writing, it seemed, was going to be just as impossible as everything else today.
Just then, the sound of her text chime came from the previously dark phone beside her, saving Rory from the downward spiral her mood was sending her toward.
Hey kid, how’s it going?
As if she knew exactly what Rory was thinking or feeling, Lorelai had precise timing as always. — though they had already talked, the traditional 4:03 AM monologue, it was clear even from hundreds of miles away, Lorelai knew Rory better than anyone.
It’s fine. I’m fine.
You don’t sound fine.
Can anyone sound not fine in a text message?
Yeah, they can.
What’s on your mind?
Nothing. It’s just a gloomy day and I’m missing home.
Awww, home misses you too. I wish we could have made you getting back home work.
Luke and I were just talking this morning about how strange it was that you weren’t going to come to the diner for your special birthday pancakes.
Or coffee cake, like my sixteen birthday.
Luke was always really good at making my birthdays special. Even before you two were together.
Yeah, he was always good at that.
Tell him hi for me? And that I miss him?
I will. He misses you too, we all do.
So…have you heard from anyone else today?
Dad and Paris text me this morning, and I had a video-call with Lane, Zach, and the boys about an hour ago. I haven’t heard from Grandma and Grandpa yet, but I know I will sometime later.
And Logan?
No. Nothing since June.
I’m sorry.
You don’t have to pretend. I know you didn’t like Logan.
Maybe, maybe not, but you did. You loved him and I love you.
I love you too, Mom.
Rory sighed and looked out the window. She would be a fool to think that her present mood was just because of the gloomy day and spending her first birthday away from home. It was the absence of the blond haired, brown eyed man that she had fallen so hard for. Losing him had been impossible — it still was, the waves of missing him were still really big and close together — and it was days like this that made her want to reach out. If she did, would he reach back?
Don’t stay in your room all day, okay? Go do something fun.
I’ll try, I promise.
Call me later if you need to talk.
I will. I love you.
I love you too.
Putting aside her phone and looking toward the clock on the wall above her door, Rory stood and grabbed her keys before she could talk herself out of it. It was nearing 4pm and if she didn’t want to waste her evening in the same way her day had disappeared, then it was time to actually do something with her day apart from staring at her laptop and fielding the well-wishes of family and friends.
Tonight was for taking her mother’s advice and do something fun.
“Hey Rachel, it’s Rory,” she said, as the elevator opened to the hotel lobby five minutes later. “Is that offer for a drink still open? Maybe we can call Hayden and see if he knows a good…”
Blond hair, brown eyes, all that was missing was the smile she loved so much. Perhaps though…there was time to fix that. Maybe, for the first time in her life, both time and luck were on her side.
“Happy birthday, Ace.”