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Can You try not to feel me?
Dream hates it. He feeds on resentment and can't stop this bitterness until he drowns in it. He knows they can feel him, see him even. It's been months and they STILL haven't come to see if everything is alright. They have to know something is up with him!
Dream knows. He knows the plants, the life, the server is acting to his sorrow, to his pain, to the daily torture Sir puts him through.
But nobody came to check.
Not Sapnap, Not George, Not Puffy.
But it doesn't get any easier to accept they do know. It doesn't get any easier when sir confirms to him that: yeah, George thought it would be funny to drown him, that YEAH Sapnap wanted him to beg for his fucking finger!!
Sometimes he lets himself think for just a moment that maybe he could be a cute little ghost just like Ghostbur. Sometimes, as the hallucinations creep in, he wishes—no, begs—for it to stop. For the love of anything, end it, just kill him.
Dream knows he can't die, he has to stick to the plan. If he dies the server will go down with him, he can't do that. Not to them.
Yet he can't help but want to, he's selfish like no other. This is just the consequences of his actions, he knows he deserves this, he's not dumb. He's just paying the price for everything he did and is still in debt, so he doesn't complain.
The lava wall falls slowly. He hides more behind the chest, like the coward he is. The sounds of the bridge sets him on edge and he can't help but wonder what they will do today. Unlike Quackity the steps are heavy, different. At first, he thinks it’s the warden—and that’s almost a comfort, he tends to take pity on him these days, but as he strained his ears, he quickly discover it's not Sam. Embarrassment burns through him at the thought of being seen—broken, head bowed, a shadow of himself.
He was trained to not look, no matter the situation he's in, he can't look them in the eye. It's not allowed.
Still he does.
He doesn't expect anyone, to be honest, he doesn't expect a visit at all. It can always be his dumb brain playing a dirty trick on him. But leave it to Sapnap to surprice him, like he always does.
He smiles. Fucking smiles because it's been a year, a year since he last saw Sapnap. Hope lingers in him at the thought that Sapnap might help him. Maybe Sapnap still loves him, just like he never stop loving them.
Sapnap looks him up and down, and suddenly he's conscious of every injury in his body and he can't help but feel ashamed. Ashamed that he had become this weak useless person. Ashamed that he somehow had that hope that Sapnap was going to help him and the disgust he sees is like a bucket of cold water.
— What the fuck happened to you?
When you hear that, all you wanna do is cover every part of your skin thats visible, wich is an understatement. Dream doesn't Want sapnap to see. To see him.
Sapnap will not believe him.
Dream knows he won't.
He doesn't deserve it.
Dreams voice is raspy, tired, and it hurts to talk but— what are you doing here?— He doesn't answer instead.
— something is wrong with you. The trees are parched, the flowers wilt... — He can't tell him. Sir will- he's grossed out at the thought, the reason he's not telling is definitely because Sapnap already knows, not because Sir told him to behave.
—...Dream are you okay in here? — Sapnap says, and it feels like a punch in the gut. The worry in his tone makes him want to melt, but it's imposible Sapnap wouldn't worry over a useless thing like him.
— Stop playing dumb Sapnap, you already know.— It hurt. It hurt saying it.
— What are you talking about? — Sapnap says, frowning.
— You know what he does to me. He already told me you know. I don't think is very nice of you to pretend since you suggested to lash me.— Dream already sees the fire in sapnaps eyes. Sapnap hand slap him. Dreams face thump with the wall with the force of it, his hand find the way to soothe his cheek.
— Don't. Don't you fucking dare try and pull that bullcrap on me, Dream. Thats too low, even for you— Sapnap says, enraged.
Dream realized that Sapnap didn't know. Desperately he tries to show his neglect. Sapnap might help him. Sapnap might save him if he sees how he can't stand, how his leg is broken.
— I'm not lying! I can show You Pandas. Please, please, i swear. Don't leave — Dream panicking, quickly tries and move, his injuries hurting, left hand goes to his collar and shows the smile. The smile Sir so lovely put on there, showing that Dream was his.
Still Sapnap was already standing, the look on his face already telling him he's believing him. But still Sapnap is already calling for Sam and Dream can't help but panic. He can't go. Please. He doesn't want to be alone again. Please someone have some kindness and take a little pitty for him.
—Sapnap, please! You have to help me. Please, don't tell Sir, please i beg you don't leave me here— Sapnap looks disgusted now, Dream not noticing his slip up tries to move, only for Sapnap to take a few steps towards the lava, ready to leave.
Begging doesn't help. Dream should know that. He knows it in the moment he is alone again in the cell, his cheek hurting and he's dizzy, the unhealed wounds bleeding all over him and some recent ones re-opening.
He's laying on the floor.
He can hope for something new now.