Chapter Text
Where is Aya? Where is Aya? Where is Aya? Where is Aya? Where is Aya? Where is Aya? Where is Aya? Where is —
“Kunikida?” Tanizaki says. “Is everything all right?”
Kunikida considers nodding and helping Tanizaki to look for his sister, but he doesn’t know where Aya is. He doesn’t know if she’s okay. He doesn’t know — “Where is Aya?”
“Aya?”
“The girl Ranpo mentioned. She would be with the vampire ability-user. I need to find her.”
“Okay.” Tanizaki nods. “I’ll find Ranpo and Atsushi and tell them you’re looking for Aya.”
Kunikida nods, a little surprised, but grateful all the same. He searches the airport and when he finally finds Aya, it’s with two figures. He recognises one.
“Aya!”
Aya turns away from the stranger kneeling in front of her and tilts her head when Kunikida stops in front of her. “Kunikida?”
“Aya, you’re safe.”
“I am.” She points at the stranger, who is now standing and glaring at Kunikida as if he’s a threat. “Bra-chan told this guy to catch me.”
There are so many things in that statement that give Kunikida pause. He’s not sure what to focus on first. Eventually, he settles on something.
“Catch you? From where?”
Aya points up. Kunikida feels like passing out.
“Do you know this man, child?”
Bra-chan . . . Bram? The vampire?
“Yeah! He’s nice, don’t worry!”
“I am not worried. I could strike him down before he even blinked.”
That offends Kunikida. He glares at Bram as he holds his hand out to Aya. “Let’s get you home.”
In a flash, Bram is between Kunikida and Aya, slapping Kunikida’s hand down. “Do not presume you can touch the child.”
“I have a name,” Aya says with a huff.
“Who are you to tell me not to, huh?”
“Why, I am her guardian, of course.”
“Her g- what?”
“I owe her my autonomy. For that, I shall be in her service.”
“You . . . you’re weird, you know that?”
“Let us leave,” Bram says. He turns to the vampirified Akutagawa and snaps his fingers.
Kunikida watches Akutagawa take Aya’s hand and start walking.
“Woah, hey, wait a second! You can’t just have either of them! Aya ought to go home and that guy should go back to the Port Mafia.”
“The Port Mafia? What is that? A knight party?”
“Jesus, have you been living under a rock for a while?”
“I have resided in a coffin for a very long time.”
Kunikida gives his head a quick shake. “Whatever. You can’t just kidnap two people.”
“I am not kidnapping them.”
“Yes, you are. Akutagawa’s brainwashed. You should give him his free will back. You should lift your curse. And stop trying to take Aya. She needs to go to her parents. They must be worried sick.”
Kunikida notices that Aya turns her gaze down at that, but right now, it’s more important to convince the vampire to release Aya.
“And why should I give her to you? I cannot trust you to take care of the child.”
“I have a name!” Aya snaps, stomping her foot on the ground. “If you’re not going to use it, call me something better than ‘the child!’ It’s like you’re talking about me like I’m not right here!”
Kunikida has seen a lot in his time with the detective agency, but this definitely makes the top ten list. Bram bows before Aya (Kunikida is weirdly tempted to kick him and watch him fall over) and apologises like a period drama main character that was thought to have cheated on their partner due to a ridiculously elaborate misunderstanding.
Aya sighs. “Well, I guess I could forgive you if you lift the curse?”
“Of course. Anything for the little lady.”
Kunikida would like to wake up now, thank you very much. This has all been a very weird dream and he’s not much interested in watching a grown ass man follow a child around like a lost dog.
But if this isn’t a dream, then he supposes he should thank Aya for getting Bram to lift the curse.
Akutagawa sways on his feet and crashes into Kunikida, who is more than used to having Dazai launch himself at Kunikida at random points during the day, so he simply offers support.
“Akutagawa!”
“Ooh, who’s that?” Aya asks, watching Atsushi run up to them. “Is that the tiger boy?”
“You have a tiger boy?” Bram asks.
Kunikida scowls at Bram. “None of your business, bloodsucker.”
“Ouch,” Bram says flatly and without any emotion. “My feelings. They are hurt.”
“Akutagawa,” Atsushi says, stopping in front of Kunikida and poking Akutagawa’s face. “Are you awake?”
Kunikida slaps his hand down. “That is so rude, Atsushi.”
“Well, he did de-limb me so I think I’m at liberty to poke his face until it bruises.”
Kunikida looks at Atsushi curiously when Atsushi’s light expression turns somewhat serious and he tilts Akutagawa’s head back.
“Your partner will live,” Bram says. “The, uh . . . curse, it has healed his external injuries as he was not dead for long.”
“Akutagawa was dead?” Kunikida asks.
Atsushi pulls Akutagawa away from Kunikida and practically throws him over his shoulders. “I’ll take him to his sister. We can talk about it later.”
“I — okay. Be safe?”
“I will.”
“Well,” Bram says as if he’s decided something. He looks at Aya. “Shall I walk with you, then?”
“Hey, hey, stop!” Kunikida yells, getting between the two of them. “This is a kidnapping.”
“Oh? And am I to presume that you are not attempting to kidnap the little lady?”
“Of course not! I’m a detective! I wouldn’t kidnap a child!”
Bram tilts his head. “Aren’t you one of the terrorists?”
“And how would you know, you little bloodsucker?”
“Keep that up and I’ll start coming up with rude things to call you in return, peasant.”
“I have an idea,” Aya pipes up, drawing both their attention. “Why don’t you both take me home? That way, you can both make sure I’m safe, hm?”
“I suppose,” Bram says slowly, “I could concede to this if the little lady wishes.”
Aya and Bram turn to Kunikida, who feels like he’s been cornered.
“Fine. I’ll get us a car.”
Kunikida finally manages to pull up outside Aya’s house. Exasperated, he slaps Bram’s hand away from the gears again.
“Stop touching things.”
“But this horseless carriage is fascinating.”
“It’s not my car. I’m only borrowing it, so I can’t have you fiddling around and breaking something.”
Bram scowls. “Could you open the horseless carriage door, at least?”
Kunikida raises his eyebrows. “Why? So you can run around and cause problems? I don’t think so.”
“Of course not,” Bram says, scoffing. “I merely wish to open the door for the little lady.”
Kunikida sighs. He glances at Aya in the backseat, who shrugs, then sighs again before leaning across and opening Bram’s door for him. “There. If you don’t get back in here after, I will delimb you and put you back on that damn sword myself.”
“Noted,” Bram says with a single nod before getting out of the car.
Just to keep a better eye on Bram — and also so he can bolt from the car if Bram decides to snatch Aya and make a run for it — Kunikida gets out of the car. He closes his door and leans against it, holding the backseat door open because Bram has deemed it necessary that he give Aya a hand out of the car.
Kunikida also has to close the door himself because Bram is more interested in watching Aya walk up to her front door.
The two of them watch a man Aya greets as her father open the door and glare at her.
Kunikida supposes that’s reasonable. A parent could be driven to such worry that it eventually turns to rage. But any moment now, he will realise what could’ve happened to Aya and the rage will give way to relief that she is unharmed — provided Aya doesn’t talk about the jumping thing, a story which Kunikida plans to drag out of Bram by force if he has to.
“I do not trust that man,” Bram says quietly.
Kunikida turns to him and watches how, in a split second, his expression shifts from murderous to . . . well, to blank with a hint of something vaguely happy. All because Aya turned around to wave.
Kunikida waves at her too.
The two of them watch Aya’s father shove his daughter through the doorway. She even stumbles a bit and Kunikida doesn’t know what he says, but it’s enough to make Bram grit his teeth and clench his fists.
Bram may be a suspicious figure, but if there’s one thing about him that Kunikida can be a hundred percent certain of, it’s that he really likes Aya and genuinely wants to protect her.
So Kunikida folds his arms and leans against the car. “Well, as a detective, I have a duty to ensure that people are safe. Of course, I can’t really spy on a civillian’s home unless I have probable cause. Perhaps a certain passer-by might’ve heard something he shouldn’t?”
Bram looks at Kunikida for a moment with curious eyes and tilted head before it dawns on him.
“I have reason to believe that the little lady’s father may not be a fit parent,” Bram says.
“Oh?”
“Yes. Perhaps I shall stand out here and admire the flowers for a moment and pretend like I am not eavesdropping.”
“Very well. I suppose you can’t have had many opportunities to see flowers. I will wait in the car.”
“Uh, Kunikida?” Yosano says when she corners him in the break room.
“Hm?” Kunikida says, as if he’s not one of many terrified as shit of the look Yosano is wearing now. “What are you doing here? The president has closed the agency down for a week at minimum.”
Yosano shrugs. “Can’t rest. What about you? Why is the vampire count sitting in Dazai’s chair?”
“It’s the one opposite mine, so I can keep a better eye on him.”
“Let me rephrase that. Why is Bram Stoker here?”
“He . . . has a concern . . . and he wishes to report it.”
“The vampire,” Yosano says. “Th- the guy that turned half the world into vampires.”
“Well, he let them go once he was free,” Kunikida says lamely.
“Right . . . what concern does he have?”
“Well, he’s got fantastic hearing, and he happened to overhear a rather concerning conversation between a parent and child.”
Yosano pinches the bridge of her nose. “Concerning, how?”
Kunikida decides to stop trying to get around Yosano. “Aya’s father threatened to starve her for two days because she went to the airport to get something for him and came back without it. Called her useless, a waste of space a — a —”
“A disappointment and that he wishes she had died instead of her sister.”
“Yes, thank you, Br — How did you find this room?!”
Bram ignores Kunikida and peers at the coffee machine. “What sort of contraption is this, fair maiden?”
Yosano’s eyebrows disappear behind her hair. “F-fai- . . . it makes coffee.”
“I have heard of coffee. Is it some sort of brew?”
“I . . . guess? Would you like to taste it?”
“Oi!” Kunikida says. “You can’t just ignore me! That’s rude!”
Bram slowly looks away from Yosano to fix a bored gaze on Kunikida. “You are always rude to me, though, peasant.”
A short cackle slips out of Yosano’s laugh.
Bram blinks in wide-eyed surprise. “The maidens here are rather bold. How fascinating. I would like to hear the fair maiden laugh again. It is a delightful sound.”
Kunikida rolls his eyes when Yosano’s cheeks turn slightly pink. “Don’t you have work to do, Yosano?”
“You brought Bram here and now you won’t let him talk to me? Shoo, Kunikida. I I’m going to make coffee for Bram.”
Yosano and Bram have their coffee and then Yosano says she thinks she’ll be able to fall asleep now, so she leaves. Bram returns to Dazai’s desk, once again enthralled by the fact that it spins.
“I found something,” Kunikida says.
Bram stops spinning and leans on Dazai’s desk. “Enough proof that we may execute him in the town square?”
Kunikida stares at Bram for a moment. “No, dimwit. But enough to open an investigation.”
“But you said your boss closed your place of work down.”
“I am still a detective and I can still work with the police.”
Bram looks behind him at the windows. “Humans are not meant to be nocturnal. You ought to sleep.”
“And leave you wandering around Yokohama? Not a chance.”
“If the most aggravating peasant promised to sleep, I would be willing to remain wherever I am left. I only request a magical device the little lady has given me. She calls it . . . oh, what was it? Like a radio?”
Kunikida wants to drop his head on the desk and knock himself out. “An mp3 player?”
Bram shrugs. “It has a tiny orchestra inside of it. And there are these wires one must shove in one’s ears to hear the tiny orchestra.”
“An mp3 player. Okay, but if you so much as put one toe out of line, not only will I chop it off, but I will expose your face to the world and let everyone know you are to blame for the vampire outbreak.”
“You are evil, peasant.”
“My name is Kunikida.”
“I do not care. You are cruel to me and therefore, you do not deserve to hear your name from me.”
“Okay, weird ass mosquito. Let’s leave.”
Bram stands up and moves to follow Kunikida. He pauses. “May I have another coffer?”
“Coffee. And I have coffee at home.”
“You have things in your home? Do you not rest within a single room within which there is but a bed?”
“Oh, boy,” Kunikida says, already regretting not marching Bram straight to the government.
But that would upset Aya. Upsetting Aya is the last thing Kunikida wants to do. He’ll just have to tough it out with the vampire.