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Suhyeok sighs through his nose as the pull of sleep calls to him incessantly, his eyelids feeling heavier with each passing second. He’s half-sitting, half-laying on a sofa in Cheongsan’s parents' living room, binge-watching another episode of a TV series they’d gotten invested in. Cheongsan is to his right, his head leaning against Suhyeok’s shoulder. They’d started this TV marathon on opposite sides of the sofa but slowly had ended up sinking back into the cushions and ever closer to each other until Cheongsan had rested his temple on Suhyeok’s shoulder, much to Suhyeok’s delight.
Glancing down, he can see that whilst he’s currently battling the pull of sleep, the shorter boy has already given in. His friend's face is totally relaxed in sleep as he breathes deeply in through his slightly parted lips. The only light in the room, from the TV, plays across his friend’s face, highlighting his perfect features in a litany of different colours.
A small smile pulls at Suhyeok’s lips to see Cheongsan likes this; It’s only completely adorable. Suhyeok takes the opportunity to really study him; from the perfect pallor of his skin, to his full pink lips, to the delicate display of eyelashes across his closed lids.
He's beautiful.
Suhyeok has been falling in love with Cheongsan for quite a while now. It’d started slowly at first, creeping up on him with each moment he’d spent in his friend’s company and then ultimately surprising him one day with its intensity. Weeks ago, as they’d fallen over themselves laughing about something or other, Suhyeok could not deny the overwhelming sensation he’d felt in his chest upon looking at his friend in the throes of laughter. The sensation was new but even still, to someone as young and inexperienced as him, unmistakable. He has never felt this way about anyone before, not any other boy or girl but the revelation has not only confirmed his feelings for his best friend but also that he is, in fact, totally gay.
It’d terrified him initially, how powerful those feelings were, and he’d distanced himself from the other boy in some lame attempt to protect himself, afraid of how vulnerable Cheongsan made him feel with a simple smile. As if with that simple smile, and a softly spoken word, Cheongsan could make him do anything. He couldn’t distance himself for long though: He’d tried, and after a week of steadfastly ignoring Cheongsan’s invitations to hang out or bringing every conversation they’d had to a close as quickly as possible, he’d been bombarded one evening with a raging Cheongsan demanding to know what he’d done to deserve such treatment. The barely contained tears that he’d been able to see at the corners of his friend's eyes had made him feel like total dog shit.
He’d promised himself he’d never hurt Cheongsan like that again.
Swallowing down the guilt he still feels over his cowardly actions, Suhyeok leans down a little and dares to place a kiss on the crown of his friend’s head. Just a simple press of his lips but hoping that the ‘I’m sorry’ he puts behind it sinks into Cheongsan’s skin to wash away any residual pain or hurt he caused. Inhaling deeply through his nose, he closes his eyes as he pulls his friend’s scent into his lungs, the fragrance of his shampoo swirling in Suhyeok’s senses. Smiling against Cheongsan's hair, he can’t stop the words that slip past his lips, the words themselves demanding to be voiced.
“You’re beautiful, ‘San,”
Pressing a final kiss into his friend’s hair, Suhyeok pulls back, his chest full of everything he feels for the boy beside him. Glancing down as he pulls away, cold shock rocks through him to see two brown eyes blinking up at him, most definitely not closed in sleep.
Suhyeok feels a horrible dread pass over him, his skull filling with it as his temples throb. He’s been caught, the expression on Cheongsan’s face clear in that he heard and felt everything. The silence that stretches between them in that moment must last only seconds but could be minutes with how awful it is for him. A horrendous tension builds as Suhyeok waits for Cheongsan to react. For the other boy to recoil in disgust, to order him out of his house, to brand him a litany of things and demand he never come near him again. He's about two seconds away from apologizing, two seconds away from telling him that he didn’t mean that, when Cheongsan surges up, planting his lips on Suhyeok’s.
Suhyeok’s entire body goes rigid in surprise, his brain short-circuiting entirely with the sensation of Cheongsan’s soft lips on his. Almost on autopilot, he kisses back, and in the next moment, in an incredible moment, he finally catches up with what’s happening, his eyes squeezing shut as he kisses back for real. Cheongsan’s hand comes up to cup his cheek as they continue to makeout, breathy sounds leaving his nose every once and a while. Suhyeok reaches out to grip the front of Cheongsan’s shirt and dares to deepen the kiss, opening his mouth wider and tilting his head as he slips his tongue into his friend's mouth. The shorter boy eagerly reciprocates and in the next second, a tongue dances across Suhyeok's, sliding wetly against each other in a sensation that immediately sends blood rushing south.
Breaking the kiss with a gasp, Suhyeok stares wideyed down at Cheongsan’s flushed face. His friend’s eyes are still closed, his lips part slightly as he breathes deeply to catch his breath. When Cheongsan eventually opens his eyes to gaze up at him, Suhyeok can’t help but place one final peck on his lips, before pulling back, just in case Cheongsan suddenly realises what they’ve done and flees or orders Suhyeok out.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Cheongsan whispers to him, eyes roaming Suhyeok’s face.
Disbelief passes through Suhyeok, his brain struggling to comprehend that this is real, that this is happening. That the guy he’s fallen madly in love with has wanted to kiss him. For a long time apparently! Breathing picking up, Cheongsan’s admission inspires his own and before he can clamp down on the words in fear, they leave his mouth in a rush.
“I’m crazy about you,”
Cheongsan blinks up at him before a slow grin pulls at his lips as he lifts his hand and slides it into the hair at the back of Suhyeok’s head.
“Crazy, huh?”
Suhyeok can only nod jerkily in response before Cheongsan grins and pulls him down for another kiss.
This must be a dream. It has to be. He’s fallen asleep on the sofa next to Cheongsan and this is all just a very, very, vivid dream. As Cheongsan sighs into his mouth and deepens the kiss, his wet tongue meeting Suhyeok’s halfway, he decides he doesn’t care either way.
This is the best goddamn dream of his life.