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Amity came back from school, it was a boring day, as always.
Luz was sick so she didn't go to school on the whole week, and her relationship with Willow and Gus wasn't the best, so she went to eat her luch at the school bathroom alone, thing that she was very used to do time ago when she used to hang out with Boscha and her friends because of how ignored she felt around them.
She laid over her bed, looking at the ceiling, actually, looking at nothing. Her mind was a mess, she wasn't a top student anymore, her grades were getting worse everyday and her mom started to feel more stressed at the usual, which means that she gets angry easily and yells at every person that's near from her, so Amity was very scared of her mother discovering how her most successful daughter isn't being as successful as she believes.
Edric and Emilia weren't at home, they were probably hanging out with some friends or something. From her room she could hear how her parents started fighting again, yelling at eachother how much they hated them and their family. Odalia's voice was the one who Amity could hear the most, her yells and complains always made Amity feel that weird feeling in her stomach, it was like she was about to throw up or something, so she put her headphones on and started listening some music to distract herself.
It didn't work.
For some reason, the music only made her feel more stressed and anxious. It was like it's saying to her "Come on, you have that cutter in front of you, do it". Maybe she was starting to get crazy, she was losing her mind, but she didn't really care at this point.
She approached the desk where the cutter was, she was about to do it, until she remembered Luz. What would think her lovely girlfriend if she discovered this? She was an idiot of even thinking about that.
That's what she was.
An idiot.
So she took the cutter, sat on the edge of the bed, lifted her sleeves up and prepared herself for the pain.
She already knows by experience that if she does it slow and softly it wouldn't do anything and the wounds would heal very soon, so she raised the cutter and made a fast and deep cut over her right arm. It started bleeding a little, but it wasn't too much blood so she didn't really care.
The music was loud, yes, but the sound of her parents arguing was louder, just like her thoughts. So she cut her arm again.
After 15 minutes or so, she already had her whole arms covered with new wounds, she felt proud of it, she felt happy. She knew that those fast and deep cuts hurt more than the slow and soft ones, but she could handle it, she could handle anything if that means to have more scars over her arms.
And she loved the sight.
She loved her scars.
So she took her phone and started taking photos of them. For what? For keeping them, of course. She would never share these pictures to anyone, she saved those photos on a secret file with some others wounds pictures of herself.
It was one of her favorite files, with other one that had some pictures of herself with her girlfriend.
Her girlfriend.
Her lovely girlfriend.
Luz.
Luz?
Luz hasn't called her yet, that's weird, maybe she's busy.
...
What was she thinking about? She's Luz, she texts Amity even if she's busy. That could only mean one thing.
She got bored of her.
Yeah, she's annoying, who would like to date someone like Amity? Someone who has their mind so messed up to think that having cuts is something to be proud of.
She was an idiot.
And she didn't deserve Luz's love.
She deserved death.
Some tears left her eyes, the voices of her parents got louder, adding some crashing objects sounds.
It was a normal habit between her parents, they used to fight like this some times in the week, but for some reason, Amity couldn't get used to this.
And she hated that.
More tears were leaving her eyes, her breathe became faster and she wanted more pain.
She pulled her pants down and started cutting her thighs.
She started sobbing trying to not being too loud, it was hard for her to breathe, the tears filled her eyes at the point of making her sight blurry as she continued cutting her thighs.
They were bleeding, but she didn't care, she threw the cutter away and started punching herself on the legs while crying and hyperventilating.
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to die."
She repeated those words to herself, wishing that someday something terrible happens to her, because she was too coward to kill herself.
Or maybe not?
She continued punching herself, pulling her hair out and leaving some whimpers of pain.
After about an hour her parents stopped fighting and she fell asleep almost falling from the bed. Her thighs had some little bruises and cuts that stopped bleeding already, her nose was red and her bed sheets were wet from the crying and the blood.
And that's how the day ended. Another ordinary day in Amity's life.