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To say Macaque was anxious would be an understatement.
The water surrounding the boat he 'borrowed' was still, and all would be quiet if it wasn’t for the sound of his own rapid heartbeat filling the silence. Above him sits a full moon, shining onto the deep blue water that creates a perfect reflection of its luminous presence. How could something so beautiful be so terrifying at the same time?
The moon brought memories of his hands combing through dark locks , soft laughter replacing the sound of his anxious heart. Arms wrapping around him from behind, soft hands cupping his cheeks, braiding his long white fur which was now black and unkempt.
Macaque ran his claws through his messy fur idly, trying to recreate the feeling of those soft hands that once showed him so much care. It was futile, scars and calluses painted them after hundreds of years of nothing but fighting and clawing at dirt. His hands were now far too rough to replicate such a soft feeling.
Leaning on the railing, he looked over the edge of the boat into the water. The moon's reflection soothed him, but also left a hint of something bittersweet in his heart.
It's been many centuries since he last spoke to Chang'e. Back before the incident with Wukong, Macaque would take it upon himself to visit the goddess as often as possible. He knew how lonely she could become if he was away for even a few days. Despite his more reserved nature, Macaque was normally the one doing all the talking during his visits. He would catch Chang'e up on everything that was happening back on Earth. Occasionally the goddess would pipe in with some of her own commentary on the earthly affairs, but most of the time she'd sit quietly with that signature smile on her face.
They’d spend hours together, Macaque talking and Chang'e listening while she cooked or played with Macaque's fur. It was peaceful, it was domestic, it was what Macaque looked forward to the most when he was anticipating the moments where he could slip away from the brotherhood and see his goddess.
Despite the hundreds of years she had spent on the moon, she didn't seem to have many stories of her time there. She once told Macaque of a few strange objects crashing into her garden, but other than that she seemed to want to talk about anything else. Macaque couldn't blame her of course, she had been stuck on an isolated rock for centuries with nothing to do other than cook and garden. It's not something to be super enthusiastic about.
A soft smile formed on the shadow demon's face as the memories of forgotten dinner parties with his brothers and lazy talks with his moon flooded his mind. Though, it slowly faded as the memory of his last night with Chang'e replaced those happy memories.
.
.
.
Chang'e was pacing frantically, hands tangled in her hair, eyes looking anywhere but Macaque. The demon wanted to comfort her, hold her in his arms and comb his hands through that midnight hair that he adored so much, but he knew that if he tried to touch her right now she would likely reject his advances.
Suddenly Chang'e turned to him with a panicked expression, hands flying out of her hair, strands falling out of place, "What possessed you to go through with this?! You and your brothers have surely gone insane if you all think this is a good idea!" Her voice was shaking with anger and her hands that were usually placed sweetly at her side were making frantic gestures.
It was rare that she ever raised her voice at the warrior. Chang’e was a benevolent goddess who usually held herself to a high standard, but there were times where she could be bitter as well. When those moments came, Chang’e would sob for hours on end, repeating over and over how everything in the world was so unfair. Macaque was grateful those moments were so rare, he hated seeing such a wonderful person like her in that state.
The shadow sighed and turned his gaze away from the goddess, "I don't think it's a good idea. In fact, I've protested against this plan to Wukong, but he hardly listens to me." Hardly was an understatement. Wukong was often too caught up in his own plans to listen to Macaque’s thoughts. That, or the king was off on some search for a new source of immortality, and the warrior was far too tired to go chase after him.
Chang'e huffed out a laugh, "So what, because he won't take your advice you're instead going to follow him into a battle that could very easily get you killed or imprisoned?" She looked at the warrior with pity, "You've followed him for so long, Liu'er. Isn’t it about time he did the same for you?"
Macaque bristled at that, gritting his teeth and letting out a quiet growl. He hated when others judged him for his loyalty to Wukong. He couldn't count how many times Peng teased him for following the king like some pitiful servant.
With a scoff, Macaque turned to leave, glancing over at Chang'e. "I have to help the Brotherhood prepare, I'll see you after this is all over."
Chang'es eyes widened, and her frantic state returned. Before Macaque could even take a step out the door, she ran to him and grabbed his sleeve, looking at him with pleading eyes, "Mihou, no . I'm sorry, I know Sun Wukong means a lot to you, but please don't do this." Her grip tightened as Macaque tried to slip away, "You can stay with me, wait for it all to be over, but please don't throw yourself into this when you know it won't end well."
The goddess begged him not to leave, to not sacrifice himself to the sun, but it was to no avail as Macaque left with a final goodbye. He would be sure to make it up to her once the battle was over. Whether the Brotherhood prevailed or not, Macaque would return to the moon with gifts and an endless amount of apologies.
But that never happened, because that was the last time he saw Chang'e. The brotherhood lost, and in the end of it all the warrior met his demise at the hands of the very king he had tried to defend.
.
.
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Macaque took a deep breath, bonking his head on the railing of the boat, "I'm such a fucking hypocrite. 'Oh Wukong never listens to me!', and then I go and ignore her warnings."
The warrior huffed and looked up at the moon, a small inkling of hope that the goddess that once looked at him with so much adoration would be able to maintain that feeling after seeing him again. But how could she? Even if he hadn't meant to leave her for so long, even if it wasn't his fault he was dragged to the Diyu, he still left her that night with nothing more than a worthless goodbye.
There was no doubt she didn't know the brotherhood's loss, that news was sure to have reached her somehow. But his death was not something the heavens would inform her of, they didn't know of her close relationship with the shadow demon. In that time of his disappearance from the mortal plane, did she believe he left with no regard for her? That he abandoned her once and for all on that hunk of rock?
A soft breeze caressed Macaque cheeks, bringing the warrior out of his thoughts. The water below was as still as before, the reflection of the moon still intact.
The warrior's brows furrowed, "No. Chang'e knew me well enough to know I'd never do that to her." At least, he hoped. Macaque moved his gaze onto the horizon and took a shaky breath, "What's that stupid human saying? 'Just rip the bandaid off'...? Yeah, yeah I can do this."
The shadow demon slowly lifted one of his hands in front of him and closed his eyes. It took a few moments, but the faint sound of a familiar bell began to ring softly in his ears. When the ringing grew louder, he opened his eyes.
A bright purple circle appeared in front of him, the symbols on its sides taking the form of the phases of the moon. Each phase shined brighter the longer Macaque kept the magic circle intact. When all the symbols were lit to their full potential, Macaque heard the bell again, this time at its peak volume. He winced as the ringing traveled through his ears, becoming almost unbearable. Macaque finally dropped his hand that held the spell after a particular ring caused him to fall to his knees and clutch his ears.
Once Macaque recovered from his stumble and the ringing became somewhat bearable, he quickly returned to look over the railing again. The reflection of the moon had begun to waver, the water itself rippling softly. As he stared at the changing reflection, he felt like there were thousands of butterflies crowded in his stomach, each of their wings brushing against his flesh and causing him to feel nauseous.
His fur stood on end in anticipation as the moon's reflection glowed brightly and began to morph into a familiar figure. That reflection slowly became a projection of the one he had longed to see after so long. His Chang'e, his other side of the moon. The woman seemed startled for a moment, looking around before her eyes fell onto Macaque. Her eyes widened and her form was dead still as she laid her gaze onto the warrior. Macaque was no different, he hadn't moved a muscle since her projection formed.
They were both silent as they stared at each other. Macaque's eyes never left the goddess' as she began laughing softly, bringing a hand to cover her mouth as if she was ready to vomit.
"T-This is just cruel… some cruel, sick joke." The goddess' eyes began to frantically skim over the shadow demon, like she didn't believe what she saw was real. Her form began to shake, and Macaque finally decided it was time to say something.
"Nice to see you too, Xīngān."
Tears pricked Chang’es eyes, "You're real… right? I'm not dreaming again?" She spoke breathlessly, reaching a hand out to cup Macaque’s cheek. It passed through him when she tried to make contact with the demon.
"I'm as real as I can be when we're speaking like this. I'm sorry that I'm not actually there with you right now." He smiled apologetically.
"Honestly, it's probably best you aren't, if you were then I'd be debating whether to hit you or hug you so tight you explode." His moon laughed softly, wiping her tears, only for new ones to form. Macaque chuckled along with her.
Chang'e was always an overly affectionate person. Macaque was a victim of her tackling him to the ground whenever they saw each other, squeezing him tight and rubbing her face against his. The shadow wasn't as affectionate when it came to touch. He'd show his affections through small praises and compliments. Despite what little he allowed himself to show her, Chang'e was always left a blushing mess at the demon's words.
Chang'es smile faded, and sensing the more serious atmosphere, Macaque mirrored her expression, "Where have you been, Mihou? I waited for so long. I heard of the brotherhood's defeat from Nezha, but was given no information of what happened to you or your brothers."
This was the topic Macaque was most afraid to discuss with her. He couldn't tell her of his death, or that Wukong was the cause of it. Despite her past bitter remarks regarding the king, she truly admired Wukong. Macaque used to tell her about his endless adventures with the Great Sage, and the stars themselves couldn't hold a kindle to the way her eyes shone at every tale. She was kind of like MK in that way, and Macaque couldn't bring himself to ruin the image of the king in Chang'es eyes.
As for his death itself, there was no way in hell he could tell her about that. Since the day he met her, Chang'e had already been experiencing far too much grief. Her selflessness and heroic nature got her torn away from the ones she held dearest, making herself immortal and unallowed to live out her final days with the ones she loved. Macaque, although now alive, didn’t want her to have to relive those stages of grief and heavy weighted guilt.
Wanting to avoid both topics, Macaque tried to persuade the goddess to move on, "It's a long story. I'd rather not bore you on our first night of seeing each other again."
Chang’e shook her head dismissively, "You could never bore me with your stories, Liu'er, and this one is important. You don't have to give me every detail, but I want at least a small briefing… please." She pleaded with that same expression she used back then to try and make him stay.
Macaque couldn’t say no to that face a second time, "Long story short, I got caught in a big mess and owed a great debt to another demon. She wouldn't allow me my freedom until that debt was paid." He might’ve left a few details out, but the goddess did only ask for a briefing.
Chang’e nodded slowly before looking away with a saddened expression, "Did this demon also restrict you from keeping in contact with me?"
"No, I… I chose to stay away. You may be far from Earth, but I didn’t want to risk your safety either way." Macaque scratched his head awkwardly, "She was able to tie me down for a while, I just wanted to avoid that happening to you as well."
The goddess’ mouth was left agape. The tears in her eyes became heavier, starting to slowly fall down her cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Mihou." She choked out.
Out of instinct, Macaque tried to reach out to the goddess to comfort her. He nearly forgot the attempt would be in vain before his hands phased through her projection. Then, her apology replayed in Macaque's mind. What exactly was she apologizing for?
"For what? You did nothing wrong. I'm the one who left you that night and ignored your advice. I'm the one, who despite the little freedom I had, made no attempt to even send you a message telling you of my whereabouts or status!"
Chang'e curled in on herself, "I wasn't there for you! I can't be there for anyone when I'm stuck up here! I care about you so much, I want to protect you the way you have protected me, but no matter how much I may want that I simply can't ."
"Chang'e-" The goddess gave him no room to interrupt her from spouting endless insults directed towards herself.
"I'm someone who is adored by so many, and yet I can't show half of my adoration. I want to be by your side, protect the ones I love, but I'm powerless ." She sobbed, hastily wiping away the tears from her cheeks as they fell.
Macaque adored all sides of Chang'e. The benevolence, the grief, the bitterness. He accepted all of her despite all of what others who had no sympathy would call flaws. This side of her however, the one that was self-reprimanding and loathing, was one he wished she could be rid of. He wanted her to see the person he adored so much.
Macaque decided it was his turn to give her no room to interrupt, "You're one of the strongest people I know. Despite everything you've been through, you've been able to hold yourself so high." Chang'e looked at him with soft, teary eyes. She was about to refute his praises but the warrior continued before she could, "You may not know it, but your smile is enough to aid others in the hardships they face. I know because I've been a subject to that smile for centuries."
The moon smiled shyly, but shook her head, "A smile isn't a weapon, Mihou… it can't combat against the harshest of blows"
Macaque took a more defensive stance and crossed his arms, "Maybe not, but it can be a damn good shield. Do you know how many times you made me feel better by simply smiling?" His voice was stern, but also tender as he questioned her.
The goddess stayed silent, not knowing what to respond with.
Macaque smirked, "Neither do I. Because by now, I've lost count. You've lifted me up so many times in our years together. You're… amazing , Xīngān."
Chang'es eyes shone brightly, the tears in them illuminating their gleam. Her cheeks turned a tinted pink and Macaque let out a soft chuckle. Still the same Chang'e, so easy to fluster at the slightest of praise.
Chang'e coughed, the pink fading from her cheeks, "You are just as amazing, Mihou, if not more. An equal to the Monkey King and one of the sharpest minds I know." Her soft voice amplified the effect those words had on the shadow, leaving him with his own flushed expression. Chang'e sighed, a hint of longing in her eyes, "It's no wonder you stayed by his side for so long, you truly compliment each other."
She wasn't wrong per say. Macaque said it himself, he and Wukong were like the sun and the moon. Key word: were . Though the two were trying to reconcile, Macaque was still hesitant to consider Wukong as someone who he could stand beside in battle once again.
"Don't be so sure of that. Wukong and I haven't been on the best of terms these past centuries…" Macaque's tail swayed lazily behind him as he thought for a moment, "But, we're getting better. At least… we're trying to."
"You both are still as stubborn as ever I guess?" Chang'e teased. Macaque sent an offended glance, as if the thought of him being anywhere as stubborn as Wukong was an insult. The goddess giggled as her warrior pouted. "As happy as I am to speak with you again, I am a little upset you aren't really here."
"I thought this might be easier for you to process than me randomly showing up at your door." Macaque smirked and decided it was his turn to tease his moon, "And considering you said you might've pummeled me earlier, I think I made the right decision."
Chang'e, stricken with shock, fumbled over her words, "Wha- I never said I'd pummel you?!"
Ever dramatic, Macaque placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt,"Oh, how cruel the 'benevolent' Chang'e truly is! To threaten one of her closest companions after he's gone through hell and back to bask in her radiance again."
Chang'e covered her face with her hands, trying to hide the never ending blush consuming her whole face, " Liu'er Mihou ! You are so embarrassing!"
Macaque continued to tease the goddess mercilessly, basking in her shrills of embarrassment and bashful expressions. This is what he missed most, the way they interacted, how easy it was to have fun and speak with her. He would savor this feeling, the warmth in his chest and the ache his cheeks felt from smiling so much. Now that the Lady Bone Demon was gone, he could finally visit the moon again, hold Chang’e in his arms until they grew tired, and dance lazily with her under the stars.
The revenge on Wukong, the “evil” plans he had, they could wait. He’d spend his new moments of freedom with the one he held dearest. His Chang’e, his moon.