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The moon’s reflection danced in reverence to the serene voice of the ocean. If it were any other day, Kazuha would’ve been singing songs of praises about the scenery before him. If it were any other place, he would’ve carefully picked out words and weave them together to form a poem.
But it had to be today, onboard the famed Alcor of Captain Beidou.
Kazuha’s hair cascaded down to his shoulders without his hair tie, white strands occasionally swept up by the soft and gentle breeze. He stood on the end of the ship’s quarterdeck in silence.
If he leapt forward, it would be the end of everything.
Would the still waters of Guyun do the deed? Perhaps, he should’ve given up the moment he reached the turbulent seas of Inazuma. If he did, perhaps, he would not be pondering now.
Kazuha found no answer to his musings. There was only one way to find out after all. The tips of his eyelid embraced each other tightly, a pair of lovers who have not seen each other for a long time. Soon darkness filled his vision. Kazuha took a deep breath, perhaps the last breath he would ever have to take.
“Hey! I don’t think I gave you permission to do something so somber on my ship,” a voice rang from behind him.
Upon hearing the voice, Kazuha opened his eyes and turned his head sideways. Beidou held a jar of wine in one hand, face a little flushed from drinking. As their eyes lock unto each other, Kazuha swiftly retracted his gaze, seemingly giving his attention back to the sea.
“Hasn’t your ship seen its fair share of bloodshed already, Captain Beidou?”
“Only the blood of the daring but never the blood of the cowards.”
“Do you take me for a coward then?”
“I’ll answer that after you let me escort you back to your brig. Why don’t you give me a rundown as to how a scallywag found its way up here while we’re at it?”
“Please be at ease. I wouldn’t dare harm the crew of a renowned captain of Liyue harbor.”
“You’re a real disobedient one, aren’t you? Can’t even be bothered to answer questions properly.”
“What will you do about it then, Captain? Feed me to the fish?”
“Aren’t you hoping for that, Kaedehara Kazuha, a fugitive of Inazuma?”
“Ho... how do you know my name?” Kazuha flinched at the mention of his name. After he was captured, he refused to utter even a single word. How did she find out his identity so quickly? He clearly underestimated these pirates.
“I’m a renowned captain of Liyue. You said so yourself.”
“You wish to surrender me to them, I surmise. Is that why you want to stop me?” Kazuha said, finally turning his body to face her.
He would jump the moment she admitted it. Even if she didn’t, if there was a sliver of hesitation, Kazuha decided he would take that leap. He would rather die than be dragged back to Inazuma. But there was something in her voice that mesmerized him. Firm and full of confidence, Beidou spoke as sirens did to sailors.
“Relax,” she replied, a smirk worming its way into her face. “Why would I turn back my ship for a measly 70,000 mora? Besides, my head’s worth a lot more than yours. Those Tenryou Commission thugs won’t let me see the light of the day if they ever see me.”
“So that’s all I’m worth to them.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re worth a lot more than that.”
“It doesn’t.”
“Hey now. You’d put up a decent fight against them. You seem like a feisty little thing too. A little different from how your friend described you but a true rapscallion indeed.”
“My friend…?”
There was a slight confusion in Kazuha’s tone. He had no friends, at least not anymore. Then, it dawned him. It was his only companion in this journey. He had the navigation skills while she had the boat. They could hardly call each other friends but it did not mean Kazuha had no heart to worry for her.
“What have you done to Atsuko?!”
“See what I mean?” Beidou took a gulp from the jar of wine in her hand. “Atsuko is fine. She’s a lot nicer than you when we talked. Quickly agreed to be one of my people once I offered her a job at the docks.”
A breath of relief escaped Kazuha but he still could not just agree with what Beidou was hinting at.
“I’m not interested in being your obedient little hound.”
“Then, how about this? Aren’t you very interested in this?” Beidou dangled a vision in front of him, one that has already lost its glow.
“Even if you give me that, I won’t be your executioner.”
“This vision is not yours,” Beidou eyed the vision tied to Kazuha’s waist. “Whose is it?”
“Take a guess, Captain.”
“You stole it? No...” There was a pause, as if Beidou was trying to pry the answer out of Kazuha’s eyes. “It belongs to... a dead person, perhaps?”
“If you already know everything Captain, why else are you here?”
“I’m good at guessing things but I don’t know everything. So why don’t you come down and enlighten me?”
“Hah,” He let out sneer. “You really think I’d listen to the likes of you. I said I’m not interested. Just leave me alone!” There was a noticeable crack in his voice, one Kazuha desperately wished to hide but couldn’t. He did not like the way Beidou talked, as if she was so full of herself— as if she was so sure she could shake his conviction.
“Atsuko says you’re a good navigator and I happen to in dire need of one. I’ll even give this back. So, let’s talk properly.”
Beidou threw the broken vision towards Kazuha, expecting him to catch it. A split second was all it took for the vision to pass him. He missed.
Without second thought, Kazuha faced the ocean and leapt from the deck, intent on seizing back the only thing that connected him to Inazuma, to the past and to his dear friend. The broken vision once again returned to him, clasped tightly between the palms of his hands. Kazuha feels a momentary relief, one that quickly turned into panic.
He was falling.
At that moment, Kazuha recalled a proverb from Sumeru. ‘If a man says he ought to end it all today, throw him into the ocean and you’ll find him hauling himself to the shore. No one ever really dreams of killing their self. Only something inside them that they fail to choke out.’
What Kazuha craved was not death, he realized. What he longed for was rebirth.
Still, it was too late for him— a belated realization. He could not really haul himself to shore. This was what he wished for at the start, he thought. Kazuha closed his eyes, ready to embrace the sharp coldness of the sea, but it never comes.
He heard the sound of a wine jar shatter before the smell of ozone rapidly permeated the air. A flash of lighting descended upon him. For a moment, Kazuha thought it was the vision on his hand before he scoffed at the idea. In a blink of an eye, he was back on deck. Nestled carefully in Beidou’s arms, his eyes fluttered open to the shrillness of her voice.
“Do you really want to waste your life like that?!”
“I- No... Everything has already been taken from me! I have nothing more to live for.”
There was a hesitation in Kazuha’s voice. He was unsure. Anger, frustration and regret simmered in his stomach until he couldn’t recognize what he felt anymore. All he knew was that he did not wish to die and that Beidou could grant that wish.
“Be mine then! If you’re going to throw it all away, give your life to me.”
Was it the familiar scent of ozone that convinced him? Perhaps, it was the sincerity dripping from Beidou’s voice.
Would it count if it was her that hauled him back?
Kazuha did not know but he wanted to find out.
“My life is yours but on one condition.”
“You’re bargaining already, you little rapscallion? And right after I saved your life. Fine then. What do you want?”
“Help me reawaken this vision and I’m yours.”