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Manual of the Forbidden

Summary:

False and perfidious were synonymous with my name.
Of all the roles I could play, I owned the only one that everyone in my situation would reject. The worst thing was that this was not a play, whose objective is only to represent, act and pretend; the funny thing is that this is real life, and that of acting and pretending I had to do it in the best possible and existing way.
He, something very similar to the prince charming of the fairy tales my mother used to tell me when I was a child.
She, the best friend I had wanted to meet since I was six years old, unique and unconditional. They said she was the perfect girl for him.
Me, situated right in the middle; in love with my best friend's boyfriend....

This is an adaptation, credits to the original author @JalyHg.

The characters don't belong to me, these are property of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Notes:

Enjoy :)

Chapter Text

Despite every attempt, the key would not fit the lock, causing me to formulate a list of curses in my mind. I snorted in frustration and gave the door a good kick causing only my fingers under my black converse to ache. I was starting to miss Colorado. 

 

I don't think it will open like that a voice as soft as velvet behind me muttered in amusement. 

 

I turned around embarrassed and faced the most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time. I noticed how my mouth slowly opened and how my eyes sparkled with enchantment.

 

A strapping young man, clad in smooth white skin, with short but somewhat tousled brown hair, stood behind me and my messy pair of green suitcases that I had left lying on the floor by my feet. 

 

Emm... ah... —. great, I couldn't articulate anything intelligible or meaningful.

 

Let me guess, you're either Kyle, or Khal, oh.... well, I think it was Kyle, that's how you pronounce it right? -he smiled apologetically, showing me the perfect row of white teeth, dazzling me. 

 

Wow, a perfect smile was framed by seemingly soft, pink lips; that was the most beautiful thing I had seen so far since I had arrived in Venice. 

 

Heidi's friend? —. he asked, now doubtful. 

 

Damn! Was it necessary to slap me in the face to react? Yes, maybe it was; but I only shook my head slightly. 

 

Yes, yes —. I cleared my throat slyly —. To both questions, yes. 

 

He smiled more eagerly at me, as if he had known me for years and completely disarmed me. Something new for me. 

 

The door doesn't open? —. he asked. 

 

Oh? No, no... — . I lowered my head to hide the treacherous blush on my cheeks. The key won't fit — . I explained.

 

No entry? Hum... May I? — . he stretched out his hand with his palm extended upwards. 

 

What did he think I was, an idiot? I dared to raise my eyes to look at him. He was the owner of beautiful eyes that looked like Picasso himself had created a work of art. I gave him the key, trusting completely in that beautiful stranger. 

 

He approached the door of that apartment and tried just once to put the key in the lock, which did not work. 

 

Hum... — . I think they gave you the wrong key. 

 

Do you think so?  —. I said, sarcastically. 

 

He laughed and the breath of his laughter caressed my face. I forced myself to land back on Earth since I had flown past the last cloud in the sky. What strange emotions I was experiencing. 

 

Are you... a neighbor? -. I asked hopefully, really hoping that he would say yes, that he owned one of the other apartments in that building. 

 

No. 

 

So... how do you know my name and that I'm friends with the girl who lives here? — . I paused, frowning. Heidi Turner lives here, right? — . I asked, doubtfully. He laughed even more, as if my naivety was funny. Well, maybe he does. 

 

Yes, Heidi lives here — . he pointed to the apartment marked 312 where he had tried to put the key earlier. It's strange that she's not here. He said surprised — . And well, she told me about you, she told me you were coming tonight and she was very excited about the news — . He smiled at me. 

 

And you are...? I narrowed my eyes.

 

Oh, I'm sorry, my name is Eric, Eric Cartman —. he extended his hand in greeting. I looked at his palm waiting for me to take it and I did. 

 

Well, Eric. You know my name. I joined my hand to his and they merged like two custom-made gears. 

 

The body heat of his hand and the manly softness of his skin made the blush run naughtily down my cheeks again. 

 

Very nice, by the way —. He smiled, referring to the name. The red intensified further. 

 

How was your trip? —. he asked. 

 

Tired —. I sighed. So, if you don't mind, I'll sit down and wait for Heidi. I said and let my body slide down the beige wall to the gray carpeted floor. It was a sad place to live.

Do you mind if I wait for her with you? —. he mused. 

 

Of course not. I tried to sound casual. 

 

He smiled at me and sat down next to me leaning his back against that wall and crossing his legs on the floor. The jeans he was wearing were pulled tighter. I averted my gaze ignoring the fistful of incoherent thoughts my mind had produced. 

I felt hungry and searched my backpack for some junk food that I hadn't finished on the flight. Fortunately I found a small package of chocolate chip cookies with a couple. 

 

Do you like? —. I offered. 

 

No, thank you. He looked at me as if I was something... unusual, but funny. 

 

I'm hungry —. I shrugged, somewhat self-consciously. 

 

Go ahead —. He encouraged me to bite into the cookie

 

I ate one quickly and shook off the crumbs that had fallen from it. I noticed Eric looking at me. 

 

Do you miss Colorado? he asked. 

 

A little  I admitted —. But it's always nice to have a change —. I said as I started biting into the other cookie —. Wait, how do you know I came from there? I demanded to know. This guy really knew a lot about me when he was a total stranger to me. However, he didn't scare me at all.

 

Heids told me, he told me so much about you. 

 

Oh I laughed, first at the fact that he called her that, and also that he knew about me—. I hope they were good things.

 

Don't worry he smiled—.You're his best friend, what bad things could he say about you?

 

I don't know, maybe that... I like to eat breakfast in my pajamas I shrugged Or that I love banana and nutella sandwiches.

 

Breakfast in pajamas is comfortable he admitted and everyone has their own weird tastes, I love mint chocolate. 


That's not so unusual.

We both laughed as I appeased my hunger by biting into the cookie again... the sound of our laughter was drowned out by the jubilant shout of a familiar voice.