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Eldarion ran to his house as fast as he could, holding on to the parchment in his hands as if his life depended on it, and actually more importantly than his own, Astarion’s life literally did. He rushed through the crowd, dodging as best he could the people on his path while in his chest, his lungs were begging for air and his heart was pounding hard enough for him to feel the blood pulsating in his temples. Despite it, a wide smile stretched his lips, his legs started to hurt but his house was just around the corner of the street and he couldn’t wait any longer.
He didn’t even knock when he reached his destination, he simply opened the door and kicked it back to close it. “Astarion!” he called as soon as he was inside. “I’m back!” He heard noise coming from afar.
“There’s no need to yell, darling, you’re scaring Jewel with all this racket.” Astarion entered the room with his usual elegant step, looking perfect as usual and holding their cat, which didn’t seem so fazed by the noise, in his arms. “How come you’re back so soon anyway? You told me you probably wouldn’t make it before dark.”
Eldarion couldn’t contain his excitement. “I found it,” he said.
The other’s expression changed immediately, he raised his eyebrows in shock, looking at him like he couldn’t believe it before his gaze fell on the parchment his lover was holding. “Is that…?” He let the cat down and approached him. “Is that really what I think?”
Eldarion nodded energetically, looking at his lover who was unable to detach his gaze from what he was holding, extending his hand as if he wanted to take it but didn’t dare to even touch it at the same time. “The last thing we needed, a scroll of True Resurrection, yes.” He saw his own joy and excitement reflected in Astarion’s eyes. “I made a detour by the post office to send a letter to Gale,” he said. “I think we can expect him to be here tomorrow at the latest.”
“I… I don’t know what to say,” the vampire let out after a long moment of silence. Thoughts were rushing in his mind, what the other man had in his hands was everything he’s ever wanted, the means for him to get his life back. His real life back. He couldn’t wait to go out in the sun again without the threat of the tadpole, to simply roam the streets in the daylight just like they did when they arrived at Baldur’s Gate a few months ago. It was the key for him to be himself again, to see his reflection in a mirror, to do all these normal things that were impossible to him. “Thank you,” he said, eventually, taking the other in his arms. “Thank you so much!”
Eldarion hugged him and chuckled. “Well, you did most of the work getting me on this lead.” He then left a kiss on his temple, letting his lips linger.
“Working among the shadows has its perks, I’ll give you that. I’ve got quite the number of acquaintances in two centuries.” He pulled back and smiled. “Now, let’s hope Gale won’t take his time to come here from Waterdeep.”
“Gale, you were quick!” Eldarion welcomed the wizard on the doorstep the very next morning.
“Well, I could’ve been here a couple hours earlier if Tara had told me the pigeon she was playing with when I woke up had a letter,” he replied, sighing. “Anyway, let’s go around what we have.”
The wood elf guided him inside where Astarion was waiting, visibly impatient as he stood in the middle of the living room, arms crossed over his chest. “Glad to see you didn’t get lost,” he said.
“Still as charming as ever I see,” the human replied. “If I didn’t know I was here because you needed my help I couldn’t guess it.”
“Urgh, let’s get on with it, shall we?” the vampire replied, rolling his eyes, then sat on the couch to pet Jewel.
Eldarion raised an eyebrow at him, inviting him to be more polite with their friend without a word, to which he responded by an annoyed sigh and a shrug. He then rummaged through a drawer of the sideboard and brought a small vial, gemstones and the scroll he bought the previous day to the table.
“Perfect,” Gale whispered more for himself, seeing the ingredients. “Holy water, a diamond and the scroll. It seems like we have everything we need." He selected one of the gemstones, discarding the others, then sent an encouraging smile to the paladin next to him and patted his shoulder, aware of his nervousness. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Astarion?”
“Yes?” He got up and approached the other two. He was acting calm, but he wasn’t fooling anyone in the room, he was the most anxious of them, restless and perhaps even afraid. The shadows under his eyes were darker than usual and he spent the whole night rolling in bed, unable to sleep. His existence was about to change, after all, but all his doubts, his questions prevented him from getting any rest.
“Are you absolutely sure it’s been less than two hundred years since you became a vampire spawn? You’re aware the spell won’t work if not,” the wizard stated in all seriousness, brows furrowed, talking to him almost as if he was talking to a child who needed very clear explanations.
“Of course,” the other gestured with his hands and looked at him as if the answer was obvious. “Do you think I’d start such a tedious and expensive process without making sure of this kind of details? I remember in which year I died, thank you very much. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget easily…”
“Well then, let’s get started.” Gale simply ignored his sarcasm and focused on the task at hand while Eldarion looked at his lover with compassion, he couldn’t imagine what it’s been like for him to be deprived of his freedom for so long, but it warmed his heart to know he was going to get it back and destroy the influence Cazador had over him for good. The wizard placed the diamond and the vial of holy water on the table and unrolled the parchment. He observed it for a while, reading under the inquisitive look of the two elves before he raised his eyes to the vampire. “Shall we begin?”
Astarion nodded and Eldarion took his hand for a short moment, trying to soothe him. He could see he was all tensed up in expectation of what was to come so he smiled at him. “It’s gonna be alright,” he said, and kissed his hand. Astarion smiled then closed his eyes when Gale started the spell and waited as a small breeze seemed to rise in the room.
Eldarion dropped his hand and observed him. A warm light emanated from the vampire as Gale kept reciting words in an unknown language, the holy water started shining in the bottle and he was almost certain he could feel warmth coming from the small vial, which soon started rising in the air along with the diamond, both objects starting to spin slowly between Gale and Astarion and all the paladin could do while waiting was to pray to the Gods for the spell to work. He didn’t want to meet his lover's gaze if they did all of this for naught.
When Gale was done, which only took a few seconds although it seemed like hours passed for Eldarion, silence fell in the room and everything went still. Even the cat didn’t dare move a muscle, laying on the table and looking at them with curiosity, probably wondering what was disturbing her peace. The spell’s scroll burned to ashes in an instant and disappeared into thin air along with the diamond, the now empty vial fell and shattered on the floor and Astarion was still motionless. He looked at the wizard, wondering for a second if it worked and saw him smile as he took a step back, so he turned to the other instead. “Astarion,” he called softly. “Do you feel any different?” From his perspective, he was the exact same, perhaps his complexion seemed a little less pale but he wasn’t so sure and was afraid it was simply what he wanted to see.
The latter took a deep breath and opened his eyes only to look at his hands as if he didn’t recognize them. “I…Well yes, but it’s rather strange.” He closed his fist and opened it again, moving his fingers before he rested his hand on his stomach. “I don’t crave blood anymore. The pain disappeared,” he simply said. He looked up at the other elf with surprise and for the first time in nearly two centuries his eyes weren’t red.
Eldarion’s breath was taken away when he crossed his gaze, he got so used to his ruby eyes over the past months that he never really managed to imagine them in any other color. He approached him as if he was hypnotized by him, unable to look away even for a second. He was beautiful, even more than he was before, full of life he realized, and the closer he got, the more he could see how much more color was showing on his face.
“What?” Astarion frowned and took a small step back, a little confused and perhaps shy as to why he was looking at him so intensely. “Do I have something on my face?”
The other didn’t say a word and only smiled, then he stopped when he was in front of him and gently took his face between his hands, his thumbs stroking his cheekbones as if he was afraid to break him, carefully, right under his eyes. “They’re chestnut,” he simply said, his gaze plunged into his. “Your eyes,” he said when Astarion raised a questioning eyebrow.
The latter couldn’t say a word, he simply looked at Eldarion who was observing him with nothing less than adoration. A wave of emotions took over him and he only managed to look away from the other elf to bring a hand to his mouth and touch his teeth. His eyes lightened with joy when his fingers only touched normal canines instead of sharp fangs. “It worked,” he eventually whispered. He couldn’t believe it, that his almost two hundred years of being a creature of the night was now behind him. He hugged the paladin tightly and laughed, overwhelmed by happiness. “It really worked!”
The other wrapped his strong arms around him, delighted by the sound of Astarion laughing in such a heartfelt manner. He laughed with him and pressed his mouth to his. We did it, he thought as the other elf’s hand held him close, resting on his lower back while their lips met tirelessly.
A few steps from them, Gale observed the couple with a soft smile on his face as they pressed their forehead together in a loving, tender gesture, keeping their eyes closed. He was happy for them, happy he was able to help but couldn’t help but feel a slight sting of envy in his heart. Perhaps it was best to leave. He did his best to appear invisible and to give them a moment to themselves until now but he cleared his throat, attracting their attention. “Well, since the spell worked as intended I think my presence is no longer required,” he said, gathering the few things he brought.
“Gale, wait,” Astarion called out, and walked away from his lover to face the wizard, who looked at him with some surprise. “I know we haven’t always been on the best terms since we met, but what you just did for me is more than I could’ve ever asked, or even wished for. Thank you.” He then extended his hand for the man to shake it, which he did.
“Well, I only said a few silly words, you guys gathered all the ingredients, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to know you owe me,” he said with a chuckle, letting go of his hand, which was a little warmer than he remembered. Despite his words he didn’t have any intention to hold this debt to him. They all went through a lot together and even if he would probably be reluctant to call himself his friend, Gale considered Astarion as such and he and Eldarion both helped him during what he would call a ‘major crisis’ in his life, it was only normal to help them in turn.
Behind the now ex-vampire, Eldarion nodded as a sign of gratitude. “Are you sure you want to leave already?” he asked. “You’ve just arrived, I’d like to at least buy you a drink to thank you properly.”
He seemed to hesitate but eventually he shook his head, spending his day in his tower reading didn’t seem like such a bad plan, and he guessed they’d rather spend theirs together without having him around. “No, I’ll pass this time, Tara’s waiting for me.”
“As you wish. Well, send a letter or come see us the next time you’re coming to Baldur’s Gate, we’ll get that drink,” he still added, feeling like he was being ungrateful, but Gale’s smile was genuine and he guessed he was simply leaving them time to adjust and make the most of Astarion’s first day as a living being again. It was one more reason to be grateful to him, the elf thought.
“I’ll let you know.” He nodded. “Have a nice day and… well, enjoy the sun!”
Eldarion patted his shoulder and thanked him again, then closed the door behind him. When he turned toward Astarion, he found him looking out the window, his hand resting against the glass with the look of a child discovering the world, Jewel rubbing her head against his leg and purring. It was a touching image, seeing him “enjoying the sun” like Gale said. The curtains were usually pulled during the day so Astarion could move freely around the house without worrying about burning himself by accident, now they were fully open and the wood elf had to admit, his lover’s face and his eyes lightened by sunlight might be the most beautiful thing he ever encountered.
He stood still, observing him for a while until Astarion let out a sudden gasp that made the cat recoil.
“What’s wrong?” Eldarion asked, worried.
“A mirror!” the other said, already rushing out of the room. “I need a mirror!”
The paladin blinked and followed him with his eyes until he disappeared in the corridor. He waited for a little while but seeing he wasn’t coming back he moved as well and looked for him in the other rooms. He found him in front of the tall mirror in their bedroom, staring at his reflection with surprise and some sort of fascination so he approached him to wrap his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder, enjoying the unusual warmth emanating from him.
“I’m really here,” Astarion said, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “I can finally see myself. It’s like I’m real again.”
Eldarion smiled, looking him in the eyes through the mirror. “You’ve always been real, my love. Do you like what you see?” he asked.
His gaze crossed his. “Yes, of course. I never thought I’d be able to see it again and here I am, standing in the sun with you without a worm in my brain, and I'm looking at my reflection.”
They stood still for a few more minutes, giving Astarion all the time he needed to get used to it but after so many years being secluded in the dark it seemed he would never grow tired of it. “What about we go out for a stroll?” Eldarion suggested. He had another good news for him and there probably wouldn’t be a better moment than this one to reveal it. He wouldn’t have dared to present it to him before, but from now on he suspected it would be a good thing and he didn’t want to wait any longer.
“Hm, why not? It’s been months since the last time I saw the streets in the sun, and at least this time there isn’t any threat waiting for us out there.” Astarion’s glance lingered on the mirror for a while then he walked away from it, taking the other elf with him.
They both left the house, it was somewhere before midday, the sun was high in the sky and Eldarion couldn’t help but smile seeing the other look around and take the light as if it was a benediction from the Gods. They strolled the city for a long time, wandering without a goal until the paladin eventually started guiding the other toward a specific part of the city he wanted to bring him to.
Without saying a word about it, Eldarion started searching for Astarion’s family months ago. He saw the pain in his eyes when they visited his tomb after Cazador’s death and perhaps he acted because of his own feelings toward his family and because he would give anything to see them again, but he thought Astarion would like it after so many years if there was a chance. Elves had a long life and during his searches his only hope was that they were still living in the city somewhere. He wanted him to have something of his old life back, something important for the man he was. Maybe he won’t be able to make up for lost time but it didn’t hurt to try and catch up. Since the Illithid crisis had been dealt with, the former soldier used every contact he ever had in Baldur’s Gate, every person he knew that could help, and asked for information about the Ancunin family. He subtly asked Astarion if he remembered anything about them from time to time, where he grew up, how his parents were and despite the little memories he had of them he still gave him precious leads.
Eventually, he discovered that Mr. and Mrs. Ancunin were still alive and had a house in the Lower City, not so far from the Central Wall. It’s been weeks now but he wasn’t sure how and when to tell Astarion, or how to even bring up the subject. It was a personal matter after all, and perhaps he didn’t want him to meddle in his life this way. But when they discussed the lead to find the scroll of True Resurrection Eldarion thought it may be the right time once he was freed from his vampiric condition.
“Love?” he asked after a while, taking his hand, a little embarrassed. They were approaching, he could see the stone house his former colleague described in his letter and the woman in front of it, hanging sheets on a rope. Now was the moment to admit where they were going. “I need to tell you something.”
“Hmm? What is it, my sweet?” the other replied, a soft smile on his face. “You seem anxious.”
“I… did some research,” he started, searching for his words as he spoke, but the way the other was looking at him with these deep chestnut eyes wasn't helping. “I am aware that you didn’t ask for it, but I thought you would like to know.”
“What’s wrong?” Astarion asked, tilting his head as he was starting to get nervous. His lover was visibly struggling to say something and it never was a good sign. “You can tell me anything, darling.”
The wood elf took a deep breath and gathered courage, squeezing his hand between his fingers. “I’ve been searching for your parents,” he admitted, and despite the frown of confusion on the other’s face he continued. “The name Ancunin isn’t common, so I asked people I know to search into the archives if they could find if they were still in the city and…they are. They’re still living in Baldur’s Gate.”
Astarion fell silent and for a while the two men stood still in the middle of the street, looking at each other. He wasn’t sure what to make of this news, during his two hundred years of slavery he thought about his parents, he wondered how they would feel knowing his tomb has been empty since the first night and instead of being dead and buried he was stalking the streets, hunting. Despite the fact he thought about them when he came back to the city the first time after the nautiloid crash, he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it to Eldarion and try to see them again then. How disgusted they would’ve been to have a vampire luring people for a monster as their son and seeing him after so many years. He didn’t know what would’ve been the worst for him : seeing the disappointment, the fear and disgust in their eyes, or discovering they were dead not knowing he was still out there somewhere.
But they were alive, he was too and he had a chance to see them again, he couldn’t let it pass. “Where are they?” he asked, nervously. He was terrified of seeing them again but full of hope nonetheless.
Eldarion smiled, relieved, then pointed to a house on the other side of the street. “There, apparently they moved to this house about a century ago.”
Astarion looked in this direction. He roamed every street in this city multiple times while hunting for Cazador, he knew the Lower City like the palm of his hand and this house was simply one among many others, he probably walked by many times without knowing his family was behind these walls. He noticed the woman outside, taking care of her laundry. He stared at her for a while, hesitating until finally he started walking toward her, followed by his lover.
He had a chance to reconnect with himself. He said it was time to start living again but he hasn’t done much in this sense since, he intended to change it today and there was no better way to do it than see them. But as he got closer and he was able to see the woman’s face, his heart started beating faster in his chest and he felt a crushing pressure weighing on his shoulders and compressing his chest. He recognized his mother. Memories tried to make their way through his mind, to bring pieces of his past back to the surface but despite his efforts he didn’t remember much. What he did remember was warmth, a smile, a gentle hand, fragments of things that happened so many years ago. He knew she changed, although he didn’t remember much of her face after all this time he knew she looked notably older, carrying the burden of years and grief on each of her wrinkles. He slowed down unconsciously, doubts harassing him suddenly, until he completely stopped, a dozen meters away from the house.
What is left of the young magistrate who had been attacked by Gurs that night? He thought. He wasn’t sure, he had changed since that time. The abuse and the torture he went through made him into a whole different person, Cazador broke down whatever he was to reshape him into something more suitable for him, to make him into a perfect obedient slave driven by pain, violence and a deep desire for revenge. He wasn’t this man anymore, even if he was physically the same. What if they didn’t even recognize him? After all, he forgot most of his life before being a vampire, the only life he knew was one of submission, filled with blood, terror and violence. They could’ve forgotten him, he wouldn’t even hold it against them. It would probably be for the best actually.
He started spiraling into these bad thoughts, drowning in them until he felt a warm hand taking his, slowly bringing him back to the surface and the light. He sent a grateful look to the paladin beside him and followed him when he pulled on his hand gently, eventually attracting the woman’s attention, who for the first time laid eyes on them.
“Can I help you?” she asked Eldarion with a polite smile, a basket tucked under her arm, replacing a long strand of silvery hair behind her ear.
The man nodded. “I think you can help my friend here,” he said.
Astarion was silent, unable to utter a single word, he had no idea what he could tell her. But it seemed he didn’t need to, because when she looked at him, her glance changed and her smile faded as if she just saw a ghost, which wasn’t totally untrue he guessed.
“Astarion?” She immediately let out under her breath, dropping her basket on the ground and covering her mouth with her hands. “Is that you?”
Eldarion moved out of the way without a word, giving his lover the space to talk and approach her.
“Hello, mother.” The word seemed strange on his tongue, like it was in a foreign language. It’s been so long since the last time he said it.
“By the Gods, Astarion!” She attracted some attention, passerby looked at her, hearing her scream but she was too focused on the man standing in front of her to care about them and she didn’t even think before running to him to hold him in her arms.
The only thing Astarion could do as his mother ran to him and squeezed him almost tightly enough to hurt was to smile and wrap his arms around her frail shoulders, resting his chin on her head.
She eventually raised her head to look at him, plunging her green eyes into his and bringing her hand to his cheek. “My little star… How is it possible?”
“I…” He sent a look to Eldarion, asking for help but the latter acted as if he didn’t see anything, looking around him. “It’s quite a long story.”
His mother didn’t care about it, or if she did, she didn’t show any sign of it because as Astarion sent her an embarrassed look she simply shook her head and hugged him again. He wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome, he expected interrogation, confusion, fear, but the fact he was simply accepted so easily was overwhelming and he could only bend down a little to bury his face into his mother’s shoulder as tears stinged his eyes and started rolling down his cheeks.
A few moments later, the front door of the house opened and a man who looked surprisingly similar to Astarion, although he was older and despite his brown hair came out. “Is something wrong, love?” he called. “I heard you yell.” He took a moment to look at the wood elf, who was the closest, and then at his wife and the man she was holding in her arms with tears in her eyes. It didn’t take long before his glance changed.
Seeing him walk toward him, Astarion took a step back from his mother and looked at him, unable to say if he was happy to see him or not. Now that he was facing him again, he remembered how strict he had been in the past, how he pushed him to give his best in everything he did. He rarely showed signs of affection, he wanted him to live a life he would be proud of and even the day he got accepted as a magistrate the young elf hardly got more than a smile and a pat on the shoulder from his father.
The man then stopped and glanced at him for a moment, inquisitive, and despite himself when he raised his hand, the young elf flinched, not quite used to kind gestures yet, but the other man only rested it on his shoulder to pull him into a powerful hug. Astarion froze, and after a few seconds he eventually leaned into the hug, trying to hold back more tears.
“Welcome back home, son,” he said.
Eldarion stayed to the side, observing them. It warmed his heart to see this family reunited, the man he loved getting pieces of his life back and to be surrounded by people who loved him unconditionally. He was a little worried about the way this reunion would go at first but he realized he had no reason to in the end. It was everything he deserved after so many years of ‘pure shit’, as he would say. At this moment he wished his own parents were still alive, he would’ve loved to introduce Astarion to them, to show him where he grew up and have his mother and sister narrating stories from his childhood and embarrassing him.
As this thought crossed his mind, he noticed Astarion looked up at him and mouthed a silent thank you to him. He smiled and nodded, encouraging him to enjoy this moment.
“Come inside!” Astarion’s mother told him, holding her son’s hand with a soft glance over him. “You have a long story to tell, young man.”
The latter looked embarrassed. “I’m not a child anymore, mother,” he grumbled.
“And who’s your friend, here?” his father then asked, acknowledging the paladin’s presence.
Astarion’s glance softened immediately as he looked at him, holding out his hand and inviting him to approach. “This is Eldarion,” he replied, intertwining their fingers together. “He’s… Well, he’s a lot more than a friend, and he saved my life when he had nothing to gain from it.”
Eldarion felt strangely shy under the couple’s glance, he wondered if they were judging if he was good enough for their son but he was quickly reassured when he noticed the love in their eyes. They just got their child back, they were happy no matter what.
Mrs. Ancunin smiled and invited them to follow her. “Well then, come inside boys. There’s fresh bread and we have a lot of time to catch up.”
Astarion sent a quick glance to his lover, checking if it bothered him but when he saw the smile on his face he relaxed immediately and squeezed his hand slightly. He wanted to thank him but there were no words strong enough to formulate how grateful he was. In the span of a day the paladin gave him back everything he thought he lost forever : his family and his life. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it quite yet, that he would be able to live like anyone else, and although he had to admit staying young forever was the only upside of being a vampire, he couldn’t wait to grow and get older with the person he loved.
He followed his parents, pulling Eldarion with him while thinking about the whole new world of possibilities and opportunities opening for him. Now I really am living again.