Work Text:
The problem is that Iris West is too beautiful.
Stunning is probably a better word. She is the All American Prom Queen Pageant Winner dream girl. And on top of that she’s smart, kind, tough and driven.
It makes sense for the whole room to stops and stare when she enters.
That’s the main reason it takes Caitlin so long to realize what she’s feeling is not just friendship and aesthetic appreciation.
That and the fact that, to her knowledge, she’s only ever liked men.
The day that Barry and Iris step into S.T.A.R. labs holding hands, Caitlin’s immediate stab of jealousy is…confusing.
She doesn’t like Barry, that’s for sure. So what, exactly, is happening?
Sure Barry is tall, sweet, handsome, and a superhero. But he’s like the annoying, nerdy brother she never had. He and Cisco are a matching set.
And she isn’t upset that they’re dating, right? The future newspaper says Iris West-Allen. They’re meant to be! And even without that, they look at each other like they want to melt into each other’s beings…
And there’s the jealousy again.
Is she jealous because she hasn’t been with anyone since Ronnie? That doesn’t feel right, but what else could it be?
She’s a doctor. She’s a scientist. She knows to collect evidence and that evidence will lead her to the problem. And, hopefully, a solution.
Over the next few days she starts monitoring her emotions, jotting down her feelings and the surrounding circumstances when that surge of vicious anger makes an appearance. Weirdly it always happens when Barry and Iris are being “coupley”: kissing, holding hands, exchanging dopey smiles.
“I want in,” Cisco says on day four. He appears from nowhere at her work station with two tall boba teas and wearing a shirt that depicts Naruto’s sexy jutsu in sage mode.
“In on what?” She asks, squinting at him. She’s been scribbling in her notebook all morning instead of completing actual work. But that’s fine, right? There are no meta humans or super villains currently attacking, so…
“Whatever freaky experiment you’re doing! You’ve got your secret notebook out.”
“I am not—!” She protests, completely offended and sneakily covering up the “initial experiment notes” notebook with another file. “I do not—“
“You aaaaare,” he sings, sliding closer to her and handing her a tea. As usual he’s all bright eyes and charming smiles, so easy and confident with himself. Unlike her, and the daunting evidence building up in her notebook.
“I guess you could help,” she decides, squashing her internal panic as she does so. This fear is irrational, based on society’s heteronormative ideals (something she’s learning about in her research) and nothing more. She decides to blurt it out before she can convince herself not to:
“How did you know you were gay?” She asks. Cisco blinks. Then blinks again.
“I—what?” He looks bewildered. “Please tell me you’re not doing experiments on gay people. If so, I formally rescind my offer to help.”
She rolls her eyes. “ Cisco .”
He squints at her. They squint a lot here. It’s probably all the shiny surfaces.
“Why do you ask?” He says. “I’m serious about the experiments, I literally cannot think of another reason.”
It’s a little gratifying but also unsettling, this revelation being so far hidden that the mere idea of it doesn’t even seem cross Cisco’s mind. He spends more time with her than anyone else and he’s gay. If anyone should have noticed, it was him. But, then again, society has very specific ideas of women. Gay people too. And heteronormativity has clearly been a larger force in her life than she realized.
Wordlessly, she hands over the notebook. He takes it, clearly confused, questioning and eager all at once. He reads for approximately two pages before he lifts his eyes and slowly meets hers.
“Whoooooooaaaa,” he says. “This is…not what I expected.”
“Me either,” she says quietly. What she’s just handed him is evidence of two things.
One, she is jealous…of Barry.
And two, she’s quite drastically attracted to Iris West.
In a gay way.
Despite the fact that, it cannot be stressed enough, she has never once had an inkling of attraction towards another woman.
At least, that’s what she used to think. Now she's re-examining every friendship, every fangirl moment, every instance of admiration of a female professor or mentor. Under a certain lens she can see friendship turned devotion, admiration turned adoration. She can see that Iris very well may not be the first. She’s just the first to make her sit up and take notice.
“Well,” says Cisco. “Congrats on the bisexuality.”
She flushes. “Well I don’t know,” she stammers.
“According to this list of possible female crushes starting when you were eleven, it kinda seems like you do,” says Cisco. “But hey, I won’t rush your journey.”
“Just answer my question,” she says, fed up. She takes the notebook back and aims an I’m-serious-seriously look at him. He shrugs.
“I don’t know if I can help,” he said. “I’ve just always had crushes on dudes. People were calling me gay before I even knew what that meant. I can relate on the jealousy front, though. Just between you and me, I’ve been feeling the same way. Except, uh, towards Iris. If that wasn’t clear.”
“Cisco,” she says slowly, staring at him. “I hope you don’t think that’s new information for me. Or for any of us.”
His eyes go wide. “What do you mean?” He says, panicking. “What are you talking about?”
“Your feelings for Barry—“ she begins, and if possible he looks even more terrified.
“Oh no, dear lord no,” he says desperately. “By ‘any of us’ please tell me you don’t mean the whole lab. The whole squad.” Her silence does not seem to lift his spirits. He’s clearly devastated. “Even Barry?” He asks, horrified. So horrified he’s actually stopped sipping his boba.
“Oh no, not Barry,” she reassures him. “I don’t even know if he knows you’re gay.”
“Thank fuck.” He practically deflates all over her desk, landing in a sprawl of limbs and hair just a little too dramatic for the setting.
She assumes this means their conversation is over.
*
That night in her living room she scrolls through Iris’ instagram. This is on a break from reading the books and articles she’s gathered on lesbianism, female sexuality, and bisexuality. In her latest round of research she’s uncovered more information on asexuality as well.
It’s becoming more than possible that she’s been attracted to the same sex her whole life. It was just subtle and easily written off as friendship, fangirling, admiration and, of course, pure aesthetic appreciation. There are several examples listed in the notebook, as Cisco rudely pointed out.
On the other hand, she loved Ronnie. She’s liked lots of men over the years, both casually and seriously. Her attraction to men isn’t confusing. It is documented, obvious, and overwhelming.
Maybe her approach would be denial again, continuing on into eternity, except for Iris.
A simple picture of Iris makes her heart pick up speed. Interacting with her over the last few days has reduced her to a mess of blushing and longing. Just remembering a distracted smile in her direction makes her feel giddy.
In short, she has a crush.
On a woman.
Who’s taken.
By her very good (meta human superhero) friend.
She texts Cisco: you may be right about the bisexuality thing
He texts back: I always am.
*
Of course, it’s one thing to know intellectually that she probably has a crush on a woman. Okay, definitely has a crush in a woman. And based on what she’s read, she is most likely bisexual, if she wants to label it.
It’s entirely a different thing to really know , much less understand what she’s feeling.
All she knows is that the next night the whole flash gang is out for drinks and poker her stomach warms every time Iris looks her way.
She wants to find reasons to talk to her. But what would they talk about really? What do they have in common besides Barry? She would love to find out. But just the idea of approaching Iris for individual conversation makes her palms sweat, her neck hairs stand up, her internal alarm scream “danger danger!’
So instead she hovers on the edges of the group, participating a little less fully than every one else since half of her attention is on subtly gazing at how soft Iris’ hair looks. Soft hair has always been a thing for her, even with men. How has she never connected the dots before?
“Are you alright?” Barry asks when the group goes in separate directions for food, drinks, and bathroom breaks. “You’ve been a little quiet tonight. Quieter than usual, I mean.”
She can’t help but smile up at him. The jealousy makes no appearance when it’s just sweet lovely Barry by himself. Trust him to notice a friend in need, even when he’s the cause of the problem.
“I’m fine,” she says with a small smile. Then it occurs to her: despite being part of the problem, Barry is an expert here, both on Iris and her predicament. He has a black and trans solidarity rainbow sticker on his laptop. He’s apart of a Queer in STEM Facebook group. His LinkedIn banner says “trans rights are human rights” and he frequently corrects anyone who ignores or doesn’t know Wally’s they/them pronouns.
Aside from Cisco, he’s the most likely to get it. So she clears her throat and says:
“Actually, now that you mention it I’ve been…thinking. About something.”
He raises his eyebrows, listening. “What something?”
“Bisexuality, specifically,” she says in a rush. She watches his face change, only slightly. It goes from patient and listening, to processing, to understanding.
“Do you think you might be?” He asks. She shrugs, shakes her head.
“Intellectually I think I must be,” she says. “But for some reason I don’t quite believe it. I still have this thought in my head like “all girls love their swim coach that much” and “that’s just what best friends are, it doesn’t mean anything”. I don’t know what to do to be sure.”
He scratches his head, eyes lifted in thought. “Do you want advice?” He asks.
“Please,” she begs.
“I think you just have to explore,” he says. “I mean I wasn’t sure I was pan until I dated Snart. Huge mistake, obviously, so much property damage—but now I know. I had to go out of my comfort zone and just follow my gut. And now I’m comfortable with myself. I’m sure.”
She nods. “I can understand that,” she says. “But how do I even go about it? I mean, I don’t have any hot lady criminals trying to get in my pants. I’m no Barry Allen.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I don’t recommend the hot criminals,” he says. “The sex is great but the fights? Oof. Awful.” She laughs with him, remembering the way he and Snart would fight and make up so explosively that it took out entire city blocks.
“How would I…explore?” She asks softly. “I mean, I have no clue where to start.”
“How about this,” he says. “You, me, Iris, Cisco. Let’s go to the gay bar and have a night out, we’ll be your wing people.”
“I—what about Wally?”
“They’re not old enough for the bar.”
“And…Iris?” She’s never even thought of the possibility before that Iris might not be straight. That Iris could conceivably look back at her and see something attractive. Her belly feels warm, her heart thuds.
Barry says: “I’ll let her tell you herself. Anyway, I’ll make a group chat, we’ll figure it out okay?”
Caitlin nods. “Okay,”
And that’s how a week and some villains later she finds herself with her friends at a bar called Lavender Haze. The lights are low, flashing purple and red. There are flags on the wall: rainbow, bi, pan, lesbian, trans, and more she doesn’t recognize. There are also prints of human anatomy, genitalia, paintings and photographs of same sex lovers holding each other.
“This is…interesting,” Caitlin says, trying to be charitable. Barry and Iris trade a little amused look, while Cisco outright grins.
“Wait until we get you to the clubs,” says Cisco. “This place will look like a preschool.”
They head toward the booths along one wall. Iris slides in on one side so Caitlin goes for the other. But before she can sit down Cisco slides in, then Barry.
“Take a seat,” Barry says with a smile. Cisco smiles too, but his is impish and annoying. Caitlin rolls her eyes. Fine. She slides into the booth next to Iris, trying not to shiver at her proximity. She clears her throat, refusing to look sideways.
“Thank you all,” she says. “For…helping me. With this.”
“No problem,” says Iris. “We’ve all been there. We would never want you to go through this alone.”
With a steadying breath, Caitlin turns to look her in the eye. “Thanks,” she says, her voice strained by the breathlessness she’s currently experiencing. Iris is so, so stunning. Her hair hangs in waves of small braids, her skin all but glows, and her eyes. God that smile…
“Right, we’re all here for you,” Barry say, pulling her from her paralyzing inability to stop staring.
“I’m guessing,” says Cisco. “You’ve got a ten step agenda for the night. Whip that bad boy out, let’s get started!” They all laugh at his antics, but truthfully Caitlin does have a list.
Outwardly, she only tells them about the first one: “Definitely getting drinks,” she says. They all laugh and she gets up to go to the bar. She doesn’t mention the rest.
2- Observe herself. Can she be attracted to a woman (besides Iris) and actually be conscious of it?
3- Observe the women in the bar. What do they act like? What do they say? Clearly she doesn’t fit the part of a stereotypical queer woman. Can she conceivably do so? Or will she always stick out?
4- Do not let on, in any way, that she’s falling for Iris. Ideally, try to un -fall for Iris. Maybe find out if she has any disgusting tendencies or annoying habits.
She reaches the bar with a little nod to herself, taking a steadying breath and smiling at the woman behind the bar. The woman is tall and muscular with bronze skin. She’s wearing a tank top, has several facial piercings and short black hair.
“What can I get ya hon?” She asks. A sticker on her tank top reads: Al, she/her.
Caitlin reads out their orders from her phone, waits for them to be filled, and smiles as she walks away. When she’s back at the table she notices a receipt.
She glances at it in passing as everyone grabs their drinks, then looks again, her jaw dropping.
“What is it?” Cisco asks. Wordlessly Caitlin turns the receipt around. In bold black sharpie is Al’s name, and her number.
Cisco hoots with joy, drawing attention from other tables. Barry and Iris grin.
“Nice one Snow,” says Barry.
“Yeah, she’s hot,” Iris agrees. “Do you like her?”
“Yeah, are you gonna call?” Cisco asks.
“I…don’t know,” Caitlin says truthfully. She looks over at Al, who catches her eye and winks. She can’t help blushing.
“Well if you feel comfortable, I say go for it,” says Barry. “As long as you’re open and honest you have nothing to lose. This is one of those things you can do to explore, figure out what you want.”
She nods, biting her lip. Is she attracted to Al? She’s barely done thinking the question when the answer came: yes. She likes her muscled shoulders, kind manner, and dark eyes. Not at all the same way she likes Iris, but attraction nonetheless.
“I think I will,” she tells the table. Her friends toast to her and sent her to the bar (and Al) for the rest of the night.
*
Al and Caitlin go on six dates total.
The first one is awkward, but after being honest about her new self discovery Al is gracious and kind. They end the date laughing together.
Caitlin is the one who texts to ask for a second date. Cisco, Barry, Wally and Iris all hype her up in the group chat to finally press send. Al texts back immediately with a smiley face and a heart.
The second date is to a movie, and they kiss in the parking lot under fluorescent street lights and a waning half moon. Caitlin’s first kiss with a woman sends sparks all through her body that confirm the theory she’s developing.
She is 100%, without a doubt able to be attracted to women who aren’t Iris. It isn’t just a fluke.
Al is incredible. She’s strong, funny, kind, attractive, an incredible kisser…incredible lover…
And Caitlin can’t stop thinking about Iris.
*
She and Iris have been texting more lately, both in the group chat and on their own. It turns out that while they don’t have careers in common, they both love reading, especially thrillers, romances, and mysteries. They get an app that lets them read a book together, making comments along the way. They crow to each other about plot twists and favorite characters. They also love the same soap opera, downtown cafe (besides Jitters), and furniture/home goods shopping.
It’s in a conversation in their sixth date that Al points out:
“You’ve mentioned this Iris girl a lot.” Her tone is not accusing, but Caitlin blushes. She feels caught out, guilty. She and Al have been sleeping together since the fourth date, they are quickly becoming relationship-y. This date is a formality, the one before they officially fall into girlfriend territory.
“I—yes,” she says. “My crush on her made me realize I like women.” Understanding dawns on Al’s face.
“Ah,” she says. “It sounds like you have some things to work out.”
Caitlin looks down at her wine. They’re at a nice restaurant. Al is both handsome and beautiful, kind and funny. She should be the perfect match. But Caitlin can’t stop thinking of the light in Iris’ eyes.
“Yeah,” she says softly. “I think I do.”
Al nods, understanding as ever. “Well then,” she says, raising her glass. “Friends?”
*
“So,” she tells Cisco at his apartment later that night, a little wine drunk. They’re both slumped over on his couch, heads touching and legs dangling off of opposite sides. “Now I’m missing out on the perfect woman because I’m obsessed with a different perfect woman because I’m definitely bisexual and also probably in love with the flash’s girlfriend.”
“Big yikes to almost all of that,” said Cisco. He takes a swig of his hard seltzer and burps. “Barry called me “bro” five times today. And it’s like yeah, “bro”, as in break up with your girlfriend and show me your dick. I’m this close to losing my mind.”
“Cheers to losing our minds,” says Caitlin. They clink drinks and watch Star Trek until they fall asleep, dreaming of the impossible.
*
“Hello?” Caitlin answers the call reflexively, and almost stumbles over her own feet when Iris’ voice comes through.
“Hey Caitlin,” she says, bright and cheerful. As if this is totally normal. As if they call each other.
“Um…hey,” Caitlin responds. Is this an inquisition? Had everyone finally gotten tired of her vague answers about why she and Al are just friends? Is Iris calling to demand the truth? You like me, don’t you? Don’t lie, we all see the way you look at me!
“So listen,” Iris says, sounding like she’s walking outside somewhere. Caitlin is outside jitters, coffee and keys in one hand, blocking the sidewalk traffic since she’s stopped in her tracks.
“I need girl time,” Iris continues. “Specifically girl time with other non-straight women. Are you down?”
“I’m…yeah, yes. Sure!” Caitlin is halfway between elated and confused. What should she wear? Where are they going?
“Okay, awesome,” says Iris. “Wanna meet at Terry’s around 8?” Terry’s is a lesbian specific bar, where Lavender Haze is gay in general. Caitlin and Al went once.
“See you there!” Caitlin hangs up and immediately panics about what she’s going to wear.
*
Caitlin has learned, since delving into both real and online spaces for queer women, that’s she’s a little on the feminine side but without the bold aesthetics that mark some women as femme. She’s just a regular, straight-passing feminine bisexual. Which isn’t a bad thing, she doesn’t think, but it does mean she doesn’t fit in with all the “dresses like a bisexual” jokes on social media apps. It’s okay though. There’s a corner for women like her to, too feminine to seem queer to the passerby even when they really want to.
Her style hasn’t changed much, but in a fit of pride she purchased some tasteful bi-flag themed decor for her home and laptop. She draws the line at clothing, except for a small bi flag pin she’ll probably wear to pride.
All this to say she resists the urge to dress “gayer” for Terry’s. She’s not trying to pick anyone up after all, she’ll be there to hang out with Iris. Strong, opinionated, kick ass Iris, who she desperately wants to kiss. Definitely no drinking tonight, if she does she’ll definitely do something stupid. She might do something stupid anyway.
“Hey!” Iris says when she spots her outside the bar. She looks stunning, as always, even in a band t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers with her hair wrapped in a scarf. She approaches Caitlin with a smile and pulls her into a hug, as if this isn’t the single most devastating thing she can possibly do.
“I was thinking we could sit outside,” she says as she pulls back, completely oblivious to Caitlin’s shock.
“Sure,” Caitlin says dumbly, still taking in the double whammy of Iris’ warm body pressed up against hers and the smell of her perfume. Full on sex with Al hadnt made her this dazed. She really is fucked. Unfortunately, not in the literal sense.
She trails Iris into the bar to order food and start a tab, then back out to the outside tables. They sip drinks awkwardly. Vodka soda for Iris, a margarita for Caitlin.
“So, uh,” Caitlin begins, a grand start to bravely broaching the subject. “Is there a particular reason you wanted to have a girls night?”
Iris looks down at her drink, stirring with one of those tiny straws. After a moment she speaks softly.
“Fun fact about dating your best friend in the entire world,” she says. “You can no longer vent your relationship frustrations to your best friend in the entire world. Which leaves you with shit when you’re too busy to have many friends. I mean I have Linda, but she’s straight in that annoying way where she thinks she gets it but she doesn’t.”
Caitlin nods, even though she has no idea what that means. Gay people, she has found, have endless categorizations for the particular types of annoying to cruel to dangerous straight people can be. She has yet to learn to recognize them.
“My other friends include my Dad, who loves Barry like a son, and Cisco, who starts salivating anytime we have a fight.” Caitlin can’t help laughing at that, though she feels slightly guilty about it. Iris’ lips quirk up in amusement.
“It’s crazy that Barry doesn’t know,” Caitlin says fondly.
“Right?” Iris cries. “I made a joke about it once and he was all ‘what are you talking about? Cisco is my best friend’. It was crazy.
“Aw,” Caitlin says through a laugh. “It’s kind of cute though! It takes a special person to be that smart and that oblivious.”
Iris smiles too, almost laughing. “That’s Barry,” she says. “If there’s one thing you can’t say, it’s that he’s not special.”
Then, as if a cloud is descending on her, her smile vanishes as quickly as it came. Her eyes look a little watery.
“What’s wrong?” Caitlin starts forward, worried, unsure how to help. At that moment someone at the bar calls that their food is ready. Iris abruptly stands up, wipes her eyes, and goes to retrieve their orders.
When she sits back down she doesn’t look Caitlin in the eye. Then she props her forehead on her finger tips, stares down at her nachos and says:
“I think Barry and I are going to break up.”
Her voice is small, sad, lost. Caitlin immediately drags her chair around so she can sit beside Iris and grab her shoulders, hold her close so her scarf wrapped head can land on her shoulder.
“It’s just,” Iris says through a stuffed up nose, wiping away stray tears. “I thought we were going to make it, I thought we were perfect. The future newspaper said Iris West-Allen, ya know? But I think…the longer we’re together the more something doesn’t feel right.
I don’t want him to touch me that way, you know? And I thought it was just that we used to be friends, but then you came out and it made me think about how people go their whole lives not knowing they’re gay until they’re like seventy. And I had this thought: what if that Iris from the future only married Barry because she thought she had to? What if she did it because she believed so strongly that it had to be right that she convinced herself, despite what her heart was telling her?”
Caitlin listens, her own feelings forgotten. All that matters is Iris, watery eyed and looking up into the street lights and dusk sky. She plucks a napkin from their table and hands it to Iris so she can wipe her tears and blow her nose. Iris takes it gratefully, does what she needs to do, and sits up. Some people glance over curiously, but for the most part people mind their own business.
“…I think I’m a lesbian,” Iris says softly. “Not just queer. And I think I have to break Barry’s heart.”
They sit with that, Iris probably processing what she’s just admitted and Caitlin feeling her heart thud in her ears. But Iris doesn’t need her freaking out right now, she needs a friend.
“On the bright side,” Caitlin says, half smiling and half serious. “You’re giving Cisco his dream come true.” And then they dissolve into laughter again, the tears not forgotten but gone.
They spend the rest of the night eating nachos and drinking, talking through Iris’ lesbian realization alongside Caitlin’s bisexuality, comparing notes and assuring each other things will get better. And they will, Caitlin is sure of this. Pining and heartbreak won’t be forever. She’s just not sure how.
*
Caitlin toes the line between a respectful distance and a caring friend as Barry and Iris go through their breakup. It’s hard.
They share Joe, they share an apartment, they share team flash. They’re best friends. Barry understands, but he’s still losing the love of his life. It’s a hard time for all of them.
And through all of it, no matter how close they get, Iris doesn’t seem to realize Caitlin has feelings for her.
She feels slightly predatory getting closer to Iris as her relationship falls apart, and soothes herself by enforcing strong boundaries of friendship only. She does not buy Iris things, she does not do her over the top favors, she does not spend time with her overnight. If she gets overwhelmed she can talk to Cisco, who is going through his own struggle of being there for a friend versus pining desperately.
Funnily enough, she hears from both parties that Iris and Cisco had a heart to heart and now have an understanding.
Or, as Cisco puts it: “Beef squashed.”
“Also,” he mentions later when he and Caitlin are getting food at a Vietnamese restaurant. “She says I have a chance with him.” Caitlin beams, happy for him. If Iris thinks so, it could very well happen.
And if Iris is thinking about Barry moving forward, maybe she’s thinking about moving on too.
The thought of acting on her feelings is terrifying, immobilizing. But she’ll hate herself if she doesn’t. So two months after Iris and Barry are officially over, she catches Barry alone in the Cortex.
“Hey,” she says. “I um, wanted to talk to you about something.”
He smiles bittersweetly. “Is it about you and Iris?”
Briefly, Caitlin freezes. “What do you mean?” she asks.
He shrugs. “Just that you look at her a lot, you guys text a lot, she thinks you’re hot…”
“She does?” Caitlin stammers, knowing the color is rising in her face and her eyes are widening. Iris? Thinks she’s hot? How? When? What ?
Barry smiles again, but he still looks sad. “You have my blessing, if you want it,” he says. “Especially if you give yours for me to ask Cisco out.”
Caitlin’s eyebrows rise, distracted from thoughts of Iris. “You want to ask Cisco out?”
“Eventually,” says Barry. “I’m still…processing. But Iris made me realize I was…not exactly cheating. But definitely emotionally involved with him in a way that’s not fair to any of us. So. Yeah, I’d like to give us a go for real, when I’m ready.”
Caitlin grins. “That’s amazing,” she said. “I’m happy for both of you. And, as far as Iris, I–thank you.”
He nods. They share a smile and understanding.
After work she goes to the florist and buys a bouquet of multi-colored carnations. She texts Iris asking if she can come over, then drives to Iris’ apartment complex.
She stands nervously on the front stoop, holding the flowers and trying to calm her breathing. Even if Iris says no, she reminds herself, it will be okay. She will be sad, but but they will be friends. And if Iris says yes, well, she’s not completely ready for that outcome. She might faint, in all honesty.
Iris answers the door in her robe and bonnet, a smile already on her face. “Caitlin!” she says.
“These are for you,” Caitlin says, holding out the flowers for Iris to take. Iris beams as she stares down at them. “I talked to Barry. He said some…interesting things. About you. And me.”
“Oh my god,” Iris slaps the hand not holding the flowers over her face. “I can’t believe he told you.”
“I’m glad he did,” Caitlin admits. “I don’t know if I would have the courage to be here otherwise.”
Iris looks at her expectantly. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Caitlin shifts her weight, takes a deep breath, steels herself.
“I like you. Romantically, obviously. I have since before I knew I liked women. Actually, you’re what made me realize that. And I know you’re going through a breakup, and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to or you’re not ready. But I just…wanted to tell you. And thank you for everything you’ve done for me these last few months. And if you would like to, I’d really like to take you on a date.”
Iris smiles. That sunny, gorgeous, perfect smile. “You know what,” she says, looking at the flowers and then back at Caitlin. “I’d love that.”
Astonishment, relief, joy all crash over Caitlin in waves. She can’t help the biggest grin she’s ever felt crossing her face.
“Really?” she can’t help asking.
Iris laughs. “Yeah, really,” she says teasingly. “It’s a date.”
*
Iris and Caitlin have gone on one hundred and twenty-seven dates and counting.
The name “Allen” disappears from the future newspaper, replaced by a fuzzy static, as though soon something else might take its place…