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Cracked’s Top Five (Weirdest) Companies to Work For

Summary:

A funny introduction to a crossover that I've been thinking about for a rather long time.

This is simply a fic in the style of an in universe Cracked article, and it stands well enough on its own.

Yes, the tags say Demona/Thailog, yes it is a pairing. Yes, I'm aware of what a creep Thailog was. He was meddled with/altered magically to mediate any damage from, well, being a force grown and educated clone.

They are currently seeing a gargoyle mediator/shaman from another clan, as she doesn't trust humans. The mediator is, with permission, conferring with a human psychiatrist and anthropologist. Demona and Angela are also seeing the same one sometimes.

Edit: pic host is down, deleting the blank.images, I'll try to find the files again and redo it

Notes:

Cracked format used without permission. Pictures used without permission. Other intellectual property used without permission. Covered by Fair Use laws.

Chapter 1: Five, Four, Three

Chapter Text

Cracked’s Top Five (Weirdest) Companies to Work For:

#5. The Government

Usually we’d want to put this at number one, but DC is outclassed. They still make the list, however, with the NDA’s, the byzantine branches, they have been known to experiment on employees, but they have also been known to give employees supersuits. They can control how much your money is worth, they can control the world like some sort of esoteric illuminati organization trying to protect themselves from some sort of esoteric illuminati organization.

(Do Not Fear, For We Will Guide You)

To that end, they want references from your childhood to prove you are who you say you are.

And despite all this, a man can still get past the screening process to become a IᗺℲ angel.

(Probably Possibly Actually Happened)

 

#4. AIM

Advanced Idea Mechanics: a think-tank founded in 1999. Hurting for sponsors, they, through dogged determination, managed to hang on and start horning in on the turf of some of our front runners.

(We’re misleading you. AIM is not Hydra.)

These guys work with veterans, shitty six million dollar man reboot style. Genetic modification: you’ll get the use of your legs back, but you also might explode as you start burning up the n-dimensional matter structure of your body that is normally not perceived.

(Basically where all the green comes from. Not Pictured: The intern who’s alive because he didn’t have to get a picture of the real Hulk)

They got into a slap fight with Stark a while back, not that there’s anything wrong or terrorist-like about that.

(Trial on AIM’s alleged terrorism)

They also manage some surprisingly chic hazmat suit uniforms.

(Swanky Hazmat Suits)

#3. Nightstone Unlimited

Founded in Paris, with headquarters in New York, there used to be a strict employee curfew. However, with the legislation for Gargoyle rights, it has been revealed that Alexander Thailog is actually a Gargoyle. His wife, (married in a private night-time ceremony) Dominique Destine, seems to be fully human, her disappearances at night are easily explained by hubby waking up.

(From the leaked sex tape)

They specialize in genetic research, which is probably explained by hubby waking up. Their excellent coffee is probably explained by their genetic research.