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"I am never speaking to you again."
"Okay, now explain to me how that's a bad thing?"
"Rodney," wheedled Elizabeth.
"John," said Teyla, a little more firmly.
"We took a vote," Ronon felt compelled to point out.
"It wasn't unanimous," Rodney said hotly.
"Majority rules," said John.
"Yeah, and it's funny, I've noticed that majority only rules when we're voting on something you like. When it's something you hate, it's a unanimous vote..."
"Be less of a paranoid freak, would you, McKay?" John rolled his eyes. "It's not like I asked you to wear a red suit on the album cover."
"Yes, I'm sure that's only another unfair vote away." He crossed his arms over his chest, looking like a stubborn and petulant child. "I'm not doing it."
"Of course you are," John said dismissively.
"I'll quit," Rodney threatened.
Elizabeth and Teyla exchanged a look. "Rodney," began Teyla, "I know you feel this is unfair, and I recognize that you're upset, but of any of us, you are uniquely suited to this album."
"What's that supposed to mean?" said Rodney, but his high pitched tone had lowered fractionally, which meant his indignation was giving way to a reluctant curiosity. Or the hope of a nice ego stroke.
"Do you think Bing Crosby had a Strat?" said Elizabeth.
The pause before his next comment was a good sign. "This is just going to be like that ridiculous metal Christmas album they put out in the eighties."
"Except this won't suck," said John.
"I'm not singing."
"No one's asking you to," said Ronon. Rodney opened his mouth for another indignant protest, but Ronon cut him off with, "I was thinking we could do it as an instrumental."
"Little Drummer Boy?" John cracked.
"Oh, that'd be fun," said Elizabeth. "Doing it all instrumentally, I mean."
"But with a rock edge, right?" said John.
"No, we wouldn't want to offend Shep's hard rock fanbase, would we?" said Rodney, rolling his eyes for roughly the fourth time.
"Can we go back to that part where you were never speaking to me again? It was short-lived, but I really liked it."
"John, this is not helping," sighed Teyla. "Rodney, you are aware that John does not speak for all of us."
"Lucky for you."
"I've got an idea for what could sweeten the pot," Elizabeth said suddenly. "An elf costume."
"I thought you wanted me to stay in the band."
"Not for you. For John."
"What?" said John.
"Album cover," said Rodney.
"Are you kidding me? Not a chance in hell."
"How about the Today Show appearance?"
"Definitely not," John said emphatically.
"Sold," said Rodney.
"Vote?" Teyla said, barely containing a smile.
"All in favor of Shep appearing in an elf costume on the Today Show," said Elizabeth, raising her hand. Ronon smirked, Teyla made it a point to not look at any of them, and Rodney was filled with an unusual amount of glee, but their hands all went in the air. "All opposed?"
"Nay," said John. "Nay! Oh come on. Have a heart."
"Sorry, Shep," said Elizabeth. "Majority rules."
"Green is not a terribly good color for him," mused Teyla. "Could we get him in red?"
"Do elves even wear red?" said Ronon.
John glared at a smug Rodney. "I am never speaking to you again."