Archive of Our Own

Morning, Sunshine!

Are you reading this just as you wake? Or getting ready to hit the sack? Either way, you light up my world, so I'm gonna kick off these letter thingies like this! Darkness ain't a thing when you're on my mind!

Aww, I got kinda sappy. But shhh, keep it on the down-low, alright? I am a total tough cookie. A badass oni-cookie!

I'm gonna write to you every day when you're away. So, if this ever bugs you, you better keep me closer.

Look, the thing is, I know you want to paint instead of burying your pretty face in books. So, I thought, maybe I could paint your beautiful smile in a way only this Oni-king can? So, what do ya say? Do you want to hear a story?

There was once a tarantula, living alone and minding her business in a dark corner.

If you were a little critter, what do you think you would be? You look all soft and fluffy like a moth, and strong and fierce like a big ol' tarantula. Yeah, I know, it's weird. They're both bugs, but you remind me of a mix of both.

What?! But tarantulas are beautiful and elegant! And it's not all about looks. They're calm and quiet like you, but will attack if threatened. And... Yeah, I think it's still a compliment.

I'm my own sorta of spider, ain't I? I weave words into a web that catches a cutie like you!

I'm sorry, that was bad. Hahaha.

Anyway! I was telling you a story.

The little tarantula was a pretty tough girl, but sometimes even the best of us wish we had someone to talk to and share our troubles. So, this little spider decided to give herself a little challenge: she'd use her skills to make two gifts, and then offer them to the first person she met.

The first gift was a fluffy blanket of her finest silk, soft as soft can be... and the other was the most fiddly poison.

Well, the first person that met little Miss Tarantula took the bait of the soft, fluffy blanket, thinking it was the greatest gift ever given. So, he went back to her cozy corner, tucked himself into the blanket and was lulled to sleep, never to wake up…

But, the second person to meet up with her... chose the bite. And even if it made them sweat and shake and want to scream, it cured them all of their woes and worries. They could finally live free, free of all fear and pain.

The point is, sometimes what appears as the greatest thing ever isn't really what you need; what you need isn't always what it looks like. It's about making a choice between what looks like the most comforting, perfect thing in the world, or picking something scary but necessary to move forward.

It's about knowing what you really need and making that call, not settling for something just because it looks safe. I get that, y'know? I get it, Sunshine.

I am not angry or sad because you left.

You didn't want to make that choice... But you did, didn't you? You took the bite. I know you're worried about whether we made the right call. But I have no doubts.

I'm proud of ya. You're brave, for leaving everything you know and choosing to honor your Vision.

Listen, the distance is hard on both of us, no doubt about it. But you, me, us? We got this. There ain't nothing keeping us apart. Not when our bond is this strong.

After all, if you were not strong enough to take the bite, you would never choose to date me either. So I am glad this is who you are.

It ain't everyone's jam to date an Oni, y'know? But it's the rough parts of me that make you laugh and get excited, isn't it? Like the first time you met me and I showed you my collection of beetles, and they started crawling all over you. But anyways, I'm rambling.

The thing is, the tarantula from that story? Yeah, I don’t like her a bit.

That little spider was trying to trick that second person into showing trust, right? That's why she did that whole “bite or blanket” routine. It was almost like she cared about what people thought more than making her own choices.

You and I, we choose to be vulnerable to each other, no matter what. I'm never afraid to admit my fears or to tell you when I'm feeling hurt or upset. And you can always tell me what's bothering you, so we can work together and figure it out. Right?

I gotta tell ya, I was scared, too, when I knew you had to leave. I was worried sick that once you got settled with your new studies, you'd forget all about me.

It's just my paranoia, y'know? It's the thought that I'll wake up one day, and you'll suddenly tell me about a more attractive, more... polished guy you met at school. And... that you wouldn't want to be with the guy with the horns and the fangs after all.

Even just writing about it makes me sick to my stomach, it's just-

Do you think I'm too rough around the edges for you? Am I holding you back?

I mean, you're a smart person going off to a big school and learning so much, and what do I bring to the table? A big heart? A loud mouth? It just feels like there's something inside you that needs much more than what I can offer.

I am not like that tarantula at all. That's cuz I'm me. I don't need to try to trick people or test them to make them take a bite from me. What you see is what you get from me.

And what I offer you is love, Sunshine. A love you wouldn't have to look hard to find. I wouldn't try to trick ya into showing you my affection. I can be rough, or I can be gentle, but it's always honest.

All your quirks, your insecurities, your talents, I would love every bit of it. And I would do my best to keep your chin up when you're feeling down. I wanna be the one you come to with good news, and the one who comforts you when you're feeling lonely. And most of all, I want to make you smile.

You're gonna do great. You'll make new friends and make all these dreams of yours come true. You'll keep growing, learning, taking the risks you want to take. If it ever gets tough, remember, I'm right here. I'll be your comfort cushion, your warm blanket. I'll be whatever you need, right? Just tell me, and I'll be there, okay?

I guess in the end, it's just about showing your heart, no tricks or tests, no tests or traps... Just being honest and loving, huh? Heh, and it ain't so complicated after all. But hey, if you'll allow it, please accept this gift.

The softest blanket ever: my strong arms!

You can always count on me. Even if I'm far away, it's so easy to make it feel like I'm holding you in my arms all over again.

Just remember... I will never, ever let you walk alone.