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Chapter Text

"I'm breaking up with you."

Red nearly didn't hear the words.

He had been having so much fun! The arcade had never been his favorite place, but having his partners there made it better, especially when they went to his favorite cafe afterward. The very word partners was enough to make him smile.

He hadn't expected Qi Xiaotian to ask him out on a date. Red Son was little more than a small fire compared to Xiaotian's sunlight that drew everyone close. Red had assumed his feelings would never be spoken.

But Xiaotian had asked him out! Him!

And then he had introduced him to the idea of poly relationships, and Red had loved that. At first, he had felt horribly guilty at the thought of dating anyone else. Especially when Long Xiaojiao entered the room and his heart skipped a beat, just like it did when he saw Xiaotian's smile. Red had needed some distance to think.

It had all been worth it.

...hadn't it?

"What?" Xiaojiao spoke before him. "You're...breaking up with Red?"

Oh. Oh, so that hadn't been a horrible hallucination. Red felt the skewer he was holding drop, splattering hot sauce across the table. He couldn't bring himself to grab a napkin.

Not when Xiaotian's smile was gone.

"I...yeah. Pigsy and Tang advised me to tell you how I was feeling..." Oh shit, oh shit, this was serious. Xiaotian took a deep breath. "Red doesn't love me."

"Wha-" Xiaojiao managed out. "Of course he does!" She nudged him, her green eyes creasing. "Right, Red?!"

He licked his lips, trying to figure out what to say. Xiaotian looked so hurt. He couldn't screw this up! "Yes!" His hand went splat as it landed in something, but Red didn't care. He wasn't sure why Xiaotian thought he didn't love him, but he needed to fix that assumption. "I love you, of course I do! You-"

"At least, less than you love Xiaojiao." Xiaotian pulled out his phone and set it on the table. His calendar app was open. He had started using it to keep track of their dates and Red had been so touched that he wanted to remember Red in his disorganization. "Look at when we last had a date."

Red snatched it up and began to scroll.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Xiaojiao sounded like she was about to scream.

"The last time Red and I went on a date, was a few weeks before he took that break to think about dating you." It was true. The calendar showed that, with a cheerful DATE WITH RED!! "Whenever I've tried, he has plans with you. He doesn't give me love or affection."

He needed to say something. Red was pretty sure he had only spoken once. "That's not true." He loved Xiaotian. A lot! He had just been excited about dating Xiaojiao as well...

Had he truly forgotten Xiaotian?

"I'm not an idiot," Xiaotian sounded so tired and so done. "We haven't done anything in months. Whenever I've tried, Xiaojiao is the one you turn to." He stood with a screech of his chair. Red had to blink from that DATE WITH RED!! as the phone pulled away. "It's clear that..." Xiaotian took a deep breath as tears welled up in his eyes. "It's clear you don't love me the same way you do Xiaojiao. That's fine."

No. No, it wasn't. Red had just...just...just...

"But I need to heal. So, I'm sorry. I'm breaking up with you, Red." He reached out, but his Noodle Boy pulled away. He was looking at Xiaojiao, instead of him, and Red wanted to scream. He should've been looking at him! He was the one leaving Red without a chance to fix things! "Please, you two. Stay away from me for at least a few weeks. Okay?"

Wait. Xiaojiao had realized his words first, as she jumped up, spilling her cheese tea over the table. Like his hot sauce, she didn't look down. "I'm sorry! I didn't know Red was ignoring you!" She tried to reach out, but Xiaotian was pulling away from her. She made a strangled choking noise. "I...I need you! Look, we can talk-"

Xiaotian sighed. "Please don't. You're both banned from the shop for six months." Xiaojiao made another of those noises and all Red could think was Mother isn't going to be happy. "Pigsy's already decided. He decided it when he heard about what's been going on."

"No, no, no- I'll break up with Red-" Xiaojiao didn't look at Red. She was too busy trying to reach her best friend, who's relationship with her Red had ruined. The guilt was back and Red wanted to scream. "-please, you know I need you- please-!"

Xiaotian stared at them, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

And then, as though he had never been there, Xiaotian was gone.

Chapter Text

The past few days had been rough.

Red found himself shambling between being a crying wreck and barely put together. His parents didn't question the sudden influx of ice cream and other comfort foods. They also didn't question why his eyes were red, which sucked a bit more.

True to his word, Qi Xiaotian hadn't said anything to him. He had even blocked him everywhere, including Pigsy's Noodles social media. Long Xiaojiao was also blocked, something that caused her to call him, crying and screaming in a fit of rage.

She had apologized afterwards.

Red couldn't really bring himself to care.

He always assumed if he was suddenly broken up with, he would rage. Burn his ex's things, smash his car, egg his apartment, etc, as a sign of how it was a bad idea to break up with the Demon Bull Prince. However, Red couldn't bring himself to feel angry. He was just so sad, to the point that he couldn't cry.

He barely had anything of Xiaotian in his room. When their relationship began, it felt like Xiaotian used his room as a second room, something he had complained about but hadn't really minded, delighting in the fact that it was a sign of trust. In a rare burst of energy, he had looked for something, anything, that was Xiaotian. Almost everything was something Xiaojiao had left or she had given him.

He had found something, in the end. On their second date, they had gone to the arcade. Xiaotian had saved up all of his tickets to buy a dinky little chicken plush, which he had given to Red. "You like chickens, right?" he had said. "I hope you like it."

Red cuddled that plush like it was his last tie to this planet as he scrolled through his photos and social media. His stomach sank lower and lower as he saw, true to Xiaotian's point, how lacking it was of his boyfriend- ex. His ex. The past half a year, Xiaotian only showed up in photos of the entire trio.

He found himself coming to a stop at one of the photos. They had gotten their pictures taken at a photo booth. Xiaotian and Xiaojiao sat on either side of Red, kissing his cheeks. He and Xiaojiao both had their eyes closed, enjoying the affection.

Xiaotian's eyes were open. They were looking away from the camera, distant and looking like he had wanted to be somewhere else entirely. Red felt his heart squeeze as he scrolled back, looking closer. There, again and again. In what few pictures he showed up in, almost all of them had him with a distant look in his eyes.

How long had Xiaotian been considering breaking up?

A hand pushed down his phone.

"Son," Red blinked at the cold tone. Princess Iron Fan loomed over him. He hadn't even heard her come in. She held out a phone. Red's heart squeezed tighter at the sight of the Pigsy's Noodles number. "Explain this."

She pressed call.

"Apologies! It seems you have entered our blacklist. We're afraid that you have been banned from ordering our food. We apologize for your loss." Pigsy's voice was chirpy, contrasting heavily against his mother's glare.

Oh no.

"I've tried using my phone. I've tried using the landline. I've tried your spare phone. I've even used your father's phone. We're blocked, everywhere." Iron Fan pinned him to the spot. "You're dating the Noodle Boy, correct? Explain what happened."

Was.

Was dating the Noodle Boy. And it seemed he checked out long before Red could have fixed things.

"He broke up with me." The words came out a whisper and Red felt tears bead up. "He...he...he thought I loved the Dragon Girl more than I loved him. He broke up with me, we're banned for..." Red felt his lungs wheeze as his mother stepped back, her scowl disappearing to be replaced by a look of uncertainity. "We're banned for six months and now Xiaojiao hates me because he's not talking to her anymore and he just dumped me without telling me anything and I want to hate him-" He didn't say anything was wrong. Red had sat in a relationship for months thinking that everything was rosy. He wanted to hate him so much but Red had so little of his Noodle Boy. "BUT I MISS HIM AND I WANT HIM BACKKKKKK...!"

(Later, Red would feel embarrassed for sounding more like a teenage girl than an adult man, but hey.)

He didn't notice his father step away from his bedroom as his mother settled on patting him on the head.

Chapter Text

When the darkness cleared, Red Son looked down and nearly felt his heart stop.

He wasn't wearing the clothes he came in anymore. Instead, he wore what looked like his mother's wedding dress. It wasn't bloody or ripped like when his parents finally exchanged their bows; instead, it was in a complete state of beauty. Gorgeous little purple bulls danced across the red fabric. Even more beautiful gold jewelry with emeralds sat on him- he could even feel a tiara sweeping his hair across his face.

Across from him, Long Xiaojiao stood, eyes wide in terror and nose leaking blood. She wore a beautiful jade green suit with red flames embroidered elegantly across the cloth, as well as red jewelry. If this situation wasn't terrifying, Red would've been awed.

Holding them in place were vines. All around them were vines.

"What's wrong, Xiaojiao?" The laughing voice froze Red's blood in his veins. "You don't look happy to see your blushing bride!"

Where had it gone wrong?

Right, when he didn't ask where his father was.

Red Son had been completely unaware that his father had left. His mother had slowly transitioned from awkward heat pats to sitting on his bed, allowing his head on her lap.

"My son, I am... so sorry," she said. The words were awkward, but, for once, they didn't lack her usual mockery. "I did not know you were going through this. The first heartbreak is the worst."

Red shook his head. "I didn't tell you." His tears had finally ceased. Once, he never thought he would be spilling his heart like this to his mother. Now, the words spilled out. "I didn't...he didn't say a word to me or Xiaojiao that he was upset. I thought we were fine."

"Are you sure he didn't say anything?" His mother raised a brow. "Maybe he was worried about upsetting you, so he tried to hint at it."

That... hurt. That honestly hurt, the idea that Xiaotian had been trying to hint that something was wrong, that he was upset, and Red and Xiaojiao had just ignored it. How often had he looked at those photos and not seen how distant Xiaotian looked? How often did Xiaojiao, who claimed to know Xiaotian like she knew herself, looked at those photos?

They both knew how easily Xiaotian put on the mask of being fine.

"I don't...I haven't taken him out on a date, just us one-on-one, for months." Red handed his phone to his mother. Xiaotian, probably through forgetfulness, hadn't removed Red from the shared calendar, leaving him to stare at that cheerful and heartbreaking DATE WITH RED. "I'm a shitty boyfriend. I've taken out Xiaojiao multiple times..." But the moment they started dating, Red had completely forgotten about Xiaotian. Any dates they had were with the three of them.

Had they taken advantage of him being fine?

The thought made his blood run cold.

"Don't worry, my sweet baby boy." His mother stood and guided him off the bed with a gentle smile. "We can fix this." Red blinked in shock. His mother hadn't smiled like that at him since he was a toddler. "He wants no contact for six months, that's fine. That gives us time."

"But...your noodles..."

She laughed, waving him away. "I've lived centuries without them. Six months is nothing. Now, we-" She pushed open the door, revealing his father, who was smiling.

Red blinked. A shiver of dread shot down his spine. Nothing good ever came from that smile. "Hello, Father?"

"I've fixed your relationship!"

"...You...did?" Oh, good, his mother sounded just as concerned.

DBK nodded. "I contacted Sun Wukong." Red didn't even know he had his phone number. "He then contacted the Little Thief's parents. Apparently, they've been under the belief that you two were on a relationship break and were unaware that he had split relations with you entirely."

Wait, Xiaotian had said that his parents had advised him to tell them how he was feeling. Had he misunderstood? "So...?"

"So, tomorrow, we are going to talk this out." Oh. That actually sounded like a good plan. His father reached out and patted him on the head. "Don't worry. I'll make sure he fixes this."

Red felt the dread slowly die down as he relaxed into his father's touch.

"Thank you, Father."

The next day came bright and early.

It didn't match what Red felt when his flames and mother's wind cleared to reveal Pigsy's Noodles. The first person he saw was Xiaojiao, dressed in a cute green sweater dress and black kitten heels as she leaned against the doorway. Red couldn't help but feel a little bit better that she had also dressed up. However, her makeup couldn't hide her red eyes or the dark bags under her eyes.

You caused this.

"Hey, Brother Ox!" Sun Wukong's annoying voice broke through Red's thoughts. The Monkey King hadn't dressed up, but something about the way he stood felt more important. Official. "Nice day, huh?"

"Yes," DBK nodded, glancing up at the perfect sky. "It is."

...this was awkward.

Red opened his mouth to speak and then thought better of it. Instead, he glanced down at the flowers he held. His mother had surprised him with them, suggesting them as a gift for Xiaotian to maybe butter him up. Thinking of buttering Xiaotian up to take him back felt gross, but Red just wanted his Noodle Boy back. They looked just as perfect as they did when they left.

"...nice flowers." He looked up. Xiaojiao had stepped closer to him and stared at the flowers. Now that he was closer, his heart ached at the red eyes and dark eye bags. Even though she had been willing to throw him under the bus to get Xiaotian to not leave her, Red still loved her. They were still together. He didn't want her to be upset.

He nodded. "They are-"

The door opened. Pigsy and Tang stood there, with the pig's arms crossed and the human's eyes hidden behind the gleam of his glasses. Red, once again, felt cold dread shoot down his back.

You did this.

"Come on in," Pigsy finally grunted. The two stepped aside, allowing the group into the restaurant.

It felt cold inside. Red shivered and wished he could ask to turn the AC up. Or maybe it was because of Qi Xiaotian, sitting on one side of a long table, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Pigsy and Tang filed in on either side of him. Wukong sat on the chair across from him, meaning Red nor Xiaojiao could sit there. He found himself sitting in between Xiaojiao and his father, gripping the bouquet tight.

Soon, all of them sat down.

Silence formed. It was clear that nobody knew how to start this. Words begged at Red's throat, begging him to say something, anything. He glanced at Xiaojiao. She was sitting eerily still, staring at Xiaotian. He glanced at the flowers and took in a deep breath. He could do this.

"I...got you these," he said. He set them on the table in front of Xiaotian. "I mean, Mother got them, but they're for you-"

Xiaotian huffed, looking away almost carelessly. Red felt his heart shrivel at the dismissive gesture, even as concern filled his mind. Xiaotian never did anything like that. "Can we just do this," he said, not even looking at Red or Xiaojiao. "The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can do my deliveries."

Pigsy coughed. "Um, there's not gonna be deliveries." Xiaotian raised a brow. "I said we were closed today because of a family emergency."

Xiaotian blinked. "Wha...this? You closed the noodle shop because DBK called screaming obscenities at me?"

Oh no.

"You did what." His mother hissed.

"He broke my son's heart and injured him."

Xiaotian sighed. "He's not heartbroken, he still has Xiaojiao."

"OKAY!" Sun Wukong clapped his hands together before his father could retort, a wide grin forming across his face. "I think there's been a lot of stuff that hasn't been communicated, and that's been causing issues. So, we're just gonna talk everything out, okay?"

"What stuff?" Red felt the concern grow. "It's like I told you: Red loves Xiaojiao. I broke up because I could get a hint. End of story." And now there was a dagger in his heart, twisting. He could feel Xiaojiao flinch.

"No, not end of story," Pigsy reached out and grabbed his son's hand. "Kid, you told us you were feeling neglected. We suggested you take a break, maybe date some other people. Now we're hearing that things were bad enough that you suddenly dumped Red, the guy you were gushing about for months, in the middle of your date and told Xiaojiao, your best friend, to stop talking to you."

"Only for a few weeks." Xiaotian at least didn't pull his hand away. "It's only been one week. Look, I don't get what the fuss is. The problem's fixed."

A nervous laugh escaped Wukong. "This feels more like putting a really bad bandage on the problem than fixing it, bud." He glanced at him and Red sat up. "Look, I'm sure Red and Xiaojiao have some things to say-"

"You two are getting married." His father crossed his arms, staring down at Xiaotian. "You broke my son's heart. This will serve as your compensation."

Oh no.

"Wait, look, DBK, let's let the kids speak-"

"My love, I don't think that's the best-"

"Hang on, buddy, I-"

"Father, wait-"

"Oh, that's fucking rich coming from you." Red and Wukong's voices died at the cold snap. Xiaotian stood, yanking his hand away from Pigsy, glaring down his father. DBK straightened up. "That is so fucking rich. I bet you were fucking overjoyed when I removed myself from the picture."

His father narrowed his eyes. "I don't understand what you're hinting at."

"Oh, please."

Tang moved out of the way to let Xiaotian stalk around. Red blinked as gold shot across his ex's form. For a moment, he thought Xiaotian had a tail.

"Xiaojiao and Red are the most fucking perfect match for your clan. I mean," Xiaotian started to count things off his fingers. "Xiaojiao's a genius, beautiful, rich..."

A cool hand landed on his shoulder. Red, despite the dread again coming down his back, couldn't help but lean into the touch. Then the hand dug into his ponytail, and Red felt a cry shoot out of him as he was yanked onto his feet. Next to him, Xiaojiao let out a similar cry, trying to yank away from her bestie's grip. "I mean, fucking look at them. Look at the perfect couple!"

Red was yanked forward despite his attempts to free himself. Xiaojiao cried out as her face slammed into Red's face, like a child making their dolls kiss. There was a crack and something wet hit his cheek. When he blinked, Xiaojiao's nose was leaking blood.

"See?!" Xiaotian still held them tight. Gold flickered across his form and finally settled. Fear shot through his heart at his ex's new form as Wukong stood. "Look at them. You don't want my simian abomination blood tainting your fucking clan!"

"Kid!" Wukong stepped forward, holding up his hands. "Look, okay, this was probably a bad idea right now- just let Red and Xiaojiao go. I understand that you're really upset-"

Xiaotian smiled.

It wasn't the sweet, warm smile that Red loved.

"What? Who says I'm upset? I just want..." Tears rolled down his cheeks despite his smile. "I just want..."

"What? What do you want? I'm sure we can figure this out."

"Yeah, kid, DBK's an idiot."

"Child, calm down-"

Red felt the fingers in his hair dig in before darkness encased the room.

And now they were here.

Xiaotian landed in front of them, dressed in nice robes. The monkey form would've been rather cute, in Red's opinion, if it didn't sport crazy eyes and an insane smile. "Come on, perk up! You guys are gonna get married, just like you want!"

"Who says we want that?!" Xiaojiao spoke up. Tears were beading up in her eyes. "Xiaotian, you're scaring me. Look, please, can't we talk this out? I know that we hurt you really badly-"

Xiaotian shushed her. "Guys, you need to practice your dance for the reception. We don't want to embarrass your guests." Vines lowered from the ceiling. "From the top, okay?"

He gripped the vines and yanked.

The vines around them both loosened and tightened, yanking their arms out. Xiaojiao grabbed his hand hard enough that Red's hand ached. Before he could cry out, the vines were yanking them back and forth, forcing them into the mimicry of a dance. Red did cry when he was yanked back hard, but Xiaotian didn't stop his yanking and pulling, puppeteering them.

What was going on? Was Xiaotian feeling unworthy of having a future with him? Is that the reason he suddenly dumped him? Red wanted to guess that was it, but something nagged at him that it wasn't right. Marriage between them hadn't even been mentioned until his father had pulled that out.

Maybe he was feeling insecure in other departments?

Well, duh. Red had neglected him for Xiaojiao and their relationship. Did he assume Red wanted to marry her? He barely managed to look over at Xiaotian, hoping some clue would pop out at him.

His eyes were red. Okay, he had just been crying. Red let his eyes drift down his outfit. The part of him that was somehow still swooning cooed at how nice he looked. But, it wasn't the elaborate dress that Red and Xiaojiao wore. It looked rather simple, more like what a person would wear in the background of a movie.

"Why aren't you dancing?" Xiaojiao seemed to have a similar idea. "You're gonna be dancing with us, right?"

"Why would you want that?" Xiaotian sounded baffled, as if Xiaojiao had said the sky had purple polka dots. "I'm nothing in this. Don't worry about me. Worry about your steps." Xiaojiao's foot slammed into Red's foot at that moment. "See? You need practice."

"You're not nothing!" Red called out. "Look, I'm sorry. I should've talked with you when I was forming feelings for Xiaojiao, not just gone into radio silence to think about it on my own. I shouldn't have ignored you like that. But you also didn't say a fucking thing!" Anger was rising up now that he had said it. "You said, over and over again, that you were fine! Oh, I'm fine, Red, don't worry about me, Red. WAS I REALLY THAT BAD OF A FUCKING BOYFRIEND?!"

"Red-" Xiaojiao started. Her eyes were wide.

"No, no! I cry out my issues to him! He makes it clear that he's an open ear! I talk to him, over and over again, how I wished that my parents showed me open affection like his do!" The heat of his flames were roaring up his back, dispelling the cold dread. "But when it's his turn to talk about his issues, he makes it clear he thinks I can't handle them! He does it to you too! AND I'M SICK OF IT!" He launched forward, glaring right at his Noodle Boy, staring at him with wide eyes. "You keep this stuff bottled up until you explode and I'm here trying to figure out how to fix it even when it's long past fixing!"

"Red-"

"NO! I DESERVE TO HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK! WHAT YOU DID WAS REALLY EFFING FUCKED UP!" Because it had been. Red had been happy just to be there, with the loves of his life, until one of those loves had just left him with hot sauce on his hand and reaching. "I DESERVE TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FEELING UPSET, SO I CAN HELP!"

"Uh, Red-"

Steam leaked from his eyes. "And now I'm here, and you're feeling bad enough to summon an entire forest, and all you did when you were breaking up with me was look at Xiaojiao, and she was willing to leave me to make sure you stayed..." Red sniffled. Hurt was welling up and Red let himself feel it with the steam of his tears. "I just want to be happy with you both-"

"RED!" A soft sob.

Red looked.

The vines had wholly pulled away from him and Xiaojiao. Instead, they were wrapping tight around Xiaotian, staring at him with wide, teary eyes. In front of their shocked gazes, he collapsed to his knees.

"...'m sorry..."

A shoulder pressed against his. Xiaojiao moved forward first, and Red followed. But he was the one to kneel next to his Noodle Boy, reaching up and cupping his face. "I'm sorry," he said, right back. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Xiaojiao knelt next to him, reaching out and hugging Xiaotian. "I'm so sorry that I didn't notice," she said, her voice crackly with tears. "You deserved better than that."

"You guys didn't deserve me suddenly dropping you like that.

Red leaned forward. Xiaotian's lips were soft against his. When he pulled away, he noticed the vines were retreating and disappearing with their outfits, but his focus was on that adorable monkey face.

"We can figure it out. I promise. You're not alone."