Work Text:
Blue waves of light cast hypnotic patterns on the walls of Chesed’s office. He often spent a good deal of time simply observing this phenomenon—lost in thought—wondering about the significance of this or that. Even just when it came to the Floor’s design itself, he couldn’t help but wonder…did it mean anything? Did Angela curate the Floors after the Patron Librarians, or did she simply assign them where she thought was best?
Maybe a bit of A and B.
His office just…existed one day, in the same fashion that he simply came into physical form in the Library after a period of not-quite-dreaming. His life, or lives as it were, were never boring, of that much he could boast.
Chesed, stirring his coffee, was caught off-guard by the sudden snap! that heralded his boss’s arrival.
“Angela, how can I help you?” he asked, ever pleasant. “Care for a cup of coffee?”
Her expression was unreadable. Nothing unusual on that front. “You know I can’t d—yes, actually. Thank you.”
Oh. She was humoring him today.
Sighing, Angela sat down. Chesed was amused. Even just the sound of the sigh itself must have been a conscious affectation of Angela’s, since she didn’t actually need to breathe, even if her body could recreate the effect for the purpose of mimicking human speech.
What sort of coffee would Angela like? He had a few guesses. That was another thing he’d let his idle thoughts drift and play with, all the different drinks he could make for his friends…
Rising from the sofa, cup in hand, he walked behind the counter to get started on what would surely be his next masterpiece.
Angela always sat very still. Besides how pale she was, it was one of the traits that gave away her mechanical nature. She did not fidget. She never even shifted her weight. Once she took a position, she tended to keep it.
“…I have a few questions. If this is a bad time, I can come by later.”
“Not at all. Ask away.”
Angela’s eyes were on the table, looking at nothing in particular. Or at least, nothing that he could see. “What do the assistant librarians think about me?”
Chesed paused a moment. “Our staff? I’ve heard various accounts. I’m afraid that question has many answers depending on what you’re looking for.”
That wasn’t the question she really wanted to ask. He could tell. Still, this was the first time she’d ever come to him to confide anything, and he was perfectly content to wait for her to gather her thoughts. Beating around the bush wasn’t like her either.
“I see…that would make sense.”
He’d always thought Angela would appreciate something sweet—but not too sweet—and rich. Maybe a nice breve. Ayin used to drink anything without much comment, but Carmen had enjoyed lattes, back in the day…captivated by the art he’d sculpt into the foam.
“What would you recommend when it comes to improving morale, Chesed?”
There it was. He clicked a button on a machine as he spoke, sending it gently whirring. “Improving morale…Well, I’d start by showing the staff your gratitude so far for everything they’ve done.”
She nodded, so he continued.
“You want to be sure to communicate how you’re appreciative of their efforts, and what the plans are going forward. If you don’t know what to do yet, I’d at least consider checking to see what, if anything, is lacking at the moment and how we can make everyone’s stay here as comfortable as possible~.”
“…I see.”
Chesed smiled at her. “But you know this to some degree, don’t you? Administration is your specialty, after all.” He made it clear in his gentle tone that he was teasing her, and waited to see how she’d respond. If she couldn’t take even a little ribbing, she probably shouldn’t try to socialize with the general employees yet.
“You’re not wrong. I do know what needs to be done. I used to have to systematically perform the opposite.” Angela spoke with her characteristic bitterness.
He admitted to some curiosity on this front. Maybe now was the time to ask. “What was it like, in the earliest iterations? Lobotomy Corporation, I mean.”
Angela met his gaze. “Before I resigned myself to playing a part? Almost insultingly picturesque. I was more than capable of ensuring functionality of the company and the safety and wellbeing of the employees, but that man hadn’t been interested in anything but optimizing energy output, at the cost of all else.”
So why settle for sixty when you could have ninety, or something to that degree. Chesed thought that sounded very much like a Wing-head…Ayin’s edge had only sharpened in Carmen's absence.
“Those same tactics you used before wouldn’t work now," he guessed.
“No, they wouldn’t.”
“Maybe you should meet with each Floor one by one, and speak with the others that way. I don’t believe you need to become everyone’s friend, but the staff should feel like they have a voice, and are heard and understood. Let them speak their thoughts…” Chesed began pouring the espresso. “…and no matter what they say, you have to keep your temper under control. Even if you had no choice in the matter, everyone here has been deprived of a voice just like you were. Our grievances might seem small in comparison to what you endured, but we still need to vent our feelings and let them be known.”
Angela’s fingers curled into fists on her lap. “…‘We’? Are you upset, Chesed?”
“I am,” he admitted, placing the cup carefully on a saucer. “But it’s to be expected. It’s not even necessarily with you, Angela.”
Angela’s gaze tracked him as he walked around to place the coffee on the table in front of her, before taking a seat.
She sighed again. “I understand that, though a part of me is…frustrated.”
“With what?”
“What the script made me do to everyone—to you—was something I had no control over. I tried hundreds of times to find any way to escape it, but there was nothing I could do but be forced to play my part, and ensure you lot did the same. Yet I am the one who faces the anger.”
Chesed closed his eyes as he sipped his drink. Considered that. “It isn’t fair,” he acknowledged. “You’re just as much a victim as we are.”
“Then why…?”
“Why did you used to resent us so much? Back in Lobotomy, or recently, before you released the light?”
“I…I didn’t…” Angela seemed to know that was a lie, trailing off almost meekly.
“Was it our fault that we were unaware of your situation, just as helpless as you were?”
Angela said nothing.
“The anger towards you is similar to that. Even the fact you released the light in the end doesn’t make our treatment in the Library before that any better.”
Angela was quiet for quite a while. Chesed allowed the moment to stretch and stretch before opting to speak again, leaning forward a little with a smile. “Angela…what’s on your mind?”
His memory of the AI before him stretched back far. But never had he seen her look so conflicted. “It’s true. I resented everyone for always forgetting the friendships we initially built. Every loop, every cycle, I would be forgotten…and then when I had to play my part, you would still bond in your united dislike of me. I got sick of each and every one of you and the way I was made to expose your flaws…” Angela picked up the coffee he’d made her, eyes focused on it. “Finding the most efficient ways to break you apart was the only sort of ‘power’ the script allowed. Once the Seed of Light was ready, I wanted nothing more than to get as far away from anything that reminded me of the script as possible.”
Chesed listened to this carefully. A part of him couldn’t believe that Angela was actually opening up like this…she really had changed these last few months, hadn’t she?
“I can understand that. At least, I think I can. The situation you went through isn’t something anyone else is going to be able to fully grasp, so I can’t claim to share your pain…but. I want to thank you, at least.”
“…What?” Her eyes widened, gold as coins.
“You dealt with a million years of horror. I scarcely survived one loop,” His smile turned wry. “Let alone thousands. Then you brought us back. I know you didn’t have to. No one here really could have stopped you if you had decided otherwise. There’s some things I’m still cross with you about, but…even if we quarrel. I’d like to still consider you a friend~."
She was quiet again. The seconds dripping past like filtered coffee. But then Angela, shockingly, gave a small chuckle.
It was Chesed’s turn to stare. Confused. Surprised. Had he ever heard her laugh before? Like that, at least?
“You said something like this before, in another iteration. You’ve always been dependable," she said in response to his obvious bewilderment.
“Did...Did we used to be close?”
“...I was close to everyone once.”
Chesed made up his mind. “Maybe you can be again~?”
Angela only sighed, but the absence of a denial still gave him hope.
It was a strange thought. The idea that Angela had once deeply cared for every employee—that she had even befriended the Sephirot—just for everything to crumble in the onslaught of the loops, vanishing into the sands of time…having never happened for anyone but Angela. Thought of like that, Chesed supposed he could give her a chance. Despite everything.
After all, he liked this new Angela. An Angela who came to share her worries with him, who pretended to drink coffee for his sake, who could take at least a little bit of teasing without storming off in a huff.
“Thank you for your time, Chesed. I enjoyed the coffee.”
She’d actually drank it. She’d always been capable of doing so, just that she’d not taste it or anything. Chesed decided not to ponder what happened to it after.
“Of course~. If you need any help speaking with the staff, feel free to come back.”
“I will.” Angela stood up.
If everyone was given the time and the ability to process the pain they were carrying, Chesed was hopeful that the Library could finally heal. Not least of all the Director herself.
“Before you go: Why did you come to me and not…oh, I suppose…Roland? Not that I’m not glad that you did~."
“You have always been universally adored by the others.” Angela stated this matter-of-factly.
“Isn’t that an exaggeration…?”
“No. In the old surveys, the staff would almost unanimously sing your praises, which tells me that you know how to endear yourself to others. It once made me resent you in particular."
The frankness of that statement made him wince. That certainly explained their old dynamic...
"But as expected, you were the best person to speak with.” Her smile was slight, yet all that mattered was its presence.
Chesed grinned behind his cup. “Oh~? If it’s just as you expected, then I guess it’s as you said before—I really am ‘always in the palm of your hand’?”
Angela gave him a sour look at the reminder before disappearing with another snap! Chesed simply laughed, collecting the dishes.
She'd really have to get better about the teasing.