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Of course his stupid captain just had to agree to the Davy Back Fight. Zoro knew he would never back down from a challenge; Nami should’ve known better too instead of complaining like she was and still is. But didn’t Luffy realize a Davy Back Fight was more of a game than an actual fight? And these guys were clearly pros. Too late to care now. Luffy already agreed. Now it was just time to do his best.
And he did try in the first round. He had stopped everyone's ships from exploding at the start and took out two of the Foxy pirates' ships. But he wasn’t a shipwright, and neither was Chopper, so their hastily put together ship fell apart after one attack. He just sighed and grabbed Chopper so they could head back to the shore, trusting in Usopp’s ship and Nami’s navigation skills to win this race for them. There was no way the monstrosity that Luffy built was making it to the end after all.
Zoro would’ve been right, if not for that damn Splithead cheating at the last second. And of all the crew members he could’ve picked, he had to go with Chopper, their youngest and most adored crewmate.
But that was the price to pay for accepting this fight, they were all prepared for this. Chopper crying would change nothing.
Not being able to stand hearing Chopper’s cries, he slammed the bottle of alcohol he was drinking down on the ground. “Quit your bellyaching, Chopper. It’s disgraceful. You made the choice to set sail as a pirate. Only you. Now you have to live with the consequences of that decision. We agreed to the terms of this game. You, Usopp, and everyone else did the best they could. Not one pirate worth his salt is going to sympathize with those tears. A man would suck it up and quietly watch the rest of this game.” Zoro ignored the protests of Usopp and Nami and held eye contact with Chopper. He saw Chopper wipe his tears and stand strong and couldn’t help but feel proud of the reindeer. “Atta boy. Now let’s get the second event started.”
Zoro was fired up and ready to get his crewmate back, until he realized he was now stuck with the love cook for the second event. He had to relinquish his swords, trusting Usopp to watch over them on the sidelines. At least he acted quick and the waiter was the ball man. The dumb ball hat suited his idiotic looks quite well. Nami even agreed with him on that sentiment.
He and the cook started off fighting each other, then the other team on their own. It was only when they were bruised and bloody, and the opponents were pulling out even more weapons, that Zoro offered an olive branch. For only ten seconds, of course. He wouldn’t be able to stand being near the damn cook for any longer than that. But it was fun while it lasted, and they won with a resounding crash as Zoro slammed their half giant opponent into the goal.
And of course their captain took their victory and freed the weird old man’s horse instead of Chopper. He better have a good plan for the third and final round or Chopper would probably never forgive him.
His captain didn’t. He didn’t even know how to skate. And that damn cook had put Luffy in for two races; it’d be a miracle if Luffy could pull off a win. He couldn’t go a single foot without falling on his ass or face, couldn’t even stand by himself. He could almost feel Chopper going into shock and losing hope as the entire stands around him burst into laughter at Luffy. He supposes it was up to him to teach the moron how to roller skate.
And teach he did. It was a good thing Luffy was a fast learner, otherwise there was no way Zoro would’ve been able to get Luffy ready to go by the time he was point getter again. Towards the end of the third race he was already standing and skating forward without falling. Too bad Zoro forgot to teach the idiot how to turn… And yet somehow they still won the last 3 races, with Luffy using his devil fruit abilities to turn, showing off his unique ability to adapt to the situation.
With that win, they finally got Chopper back, and Zoro was more than ready to head back to the ship and take a nap. But his captain… The idiot he called captain agreed to another 3 games. It was never enough ‘adventure’ or ‘fun’ for Luffy. He just had to drag his crew around into more shenanigans.
Hit & Dead Ball turned out to be pretty fun. He got to knock out a bunch of Foxy’s pirates and laugh at the shitty love cook being an idiot for getting out because of his love for women. Then Splithead brought in the big guns. Literally. And the girl who hypnotized everyone in the roll skating race was up to her tricks again, causing the remaining crew to close their eyes. Sight didn’t matter to Zoro. Right away he could sense the ball speeding his way and sliced it in half with his bare hands. Which apparently was against the rules. As was eating the ball. Which is how Luffy ended the first round with a loss for them.
Surprisingly, Splithead didn’t listen to that annoying girl and pick Chopper again. He hovered between his options, pausing on Robin, before exclaiming his pick.
“I pick… You! The swordsman Roronoa Zoro!”
His crewmates shouted in shock, and his eyes widened in surprise. It was no surprise if they wanted him for his strength, or maybe his bounty, but they didn’t seem to care about that before. In fact, Splithead seemed more wary of Robin, but maybe because she was sitting out the rest of the rounds he decided to pass on her.
Great... Just great. Now Zoro was stuck with an even more idiotic captain unless Luffy did something about it. As he walked over to his new captain, he felt a hand grab his wrist and stop him. Luffy was looking at him with an indiscernible gaze. The only thing Zoro could pick up on for sure was anger.
“You were the one who wanted to play these games, now live with the consequences, captain.” Zoro tugged his wrist out of Luffy’s hold and made his way to Foxy. He collected his new, silly-looking mask and put it on. His new crew surrounded him, telling him how cool he looked and marveling at the strength and guts he’s shown thus far. It was a warm welcome, and he figured he might as well enjoy his short stay. There was no reason not to. It didn’t feel half bad getting fawned over by someone other than Chopper. He tried not to meet the gaze of Luffy or see Usopp and Chopper crying. He knew they would win him back.
Or they would have, if Robin had been put in the second round. But they couldn’t change their lineup, and the 5v5 race was now a 4v5 race. Zoro settled down next to Luffy and Robin to watch, trying to subtly put his hand on Luffy’s leg to reassure him.
It turns out the second round was Dash, Touch, Domination, which was just a fancy name for Red Light, Green Light. A round Robin could have won in a second with her devil fruit powers. Too bad. Looks like that damn cook would have to somehow beat out Foxy’s cheetah to win.
The Strawhats ended up putting up a good fight; the chef took care of the half giant while Usopp, Nami, and Chopper got the fishman out. But the gorilla and annoying girl distracted the damn cook long enough for the cheetah to race ahead and win.
At least now he had Chopper with him. The reindeer clung to the side of his head while the annoying girl cried out, trying to smother him in her arms while the other pirates tried to lure him over with sweets. Zoro grabbed one of the cotton candies knowing Chopper might not want it now but would appreciate it later.
The rest of his new crew started building a huge stand for the final round. There were still stalls everywhere and entertainment too, so Zoro got up to wander a bit. Once they were out of the crowd, Chopper finally relaxed a bit.
“Hey Chopper, you did good. Now let’s leave it up to Luffy to get us back. You know he always finds a way.” Zoro tried to cheer Chopper up a bit more, handing him the cotton candy. He seemed reluctant to get down, so Zoro brought up a hand to pat him on the back and reassure him that he could stay. They wandered through the crowd like that, even getting free drinks and food at a few stalls.
At last it was time for the final round. It turns out Luffy bet the rest of the crew, plus their descendants, on this match. So that’s how they were going to win them back? By betting 500 people? Splithead probably did that, otherwise there’s no way Nami would’ve approved it.
Zoro found some good seats high up in the stands; they could see Foxy’s whole ship from there. He could make out the love cook next to Robin and Nami down in the front row. They were announcing the fighters, and Zoro just face palmed once he saw Luffy. Why on earth was he wearing an afro??
It looked like Usopp was with him, picking a fight with Splithead before getting kicked off the boat. Chopper was watching Luffy with sparkling eyes, admiring Luffy’s new ‘do’. There were cheers all around him, everyone loving the fro Luffy was sporting. Zoro just acknowledged the fact that it seemed he was surrounded by idiots no matter where he went.
The fight began, and Luffy seemed helpless against Foxy’s slow-slow beam. There also seemed to be plenty of tricks on the ship, all of which Foxy knew, of course. Like the cannons, and the explosive pins. It was hard to see what was happening with all the smoke, but Zoro knew his captain would pull through. The guys in front of him didn’t realize the same, and were daring to badmouth Luffy. One glare from Zoro shut them right up.
Once the smoke dissipated, it was clear the fight had gone inside the ship. Zoro sat back to relax and wait. Chopper was getting anxious, so Zoro moved him from his shoulder to his lap to comfort him. It seemed to help, until the two captains came back into view.
They were both beaten pretty badly, but Luffy was struggling to stay on his feet. He kept getting hit by that slow-slow beam and then getting wailed on. Just when it seemed it was over, a piece of mirror turned the tides. It only took one punch from Luffy before Foxy’s face was slowly caving in. He counted down with the rest of the crew until Foxy was brought back to normal speed and flew off into the sea. Luffy stood victorious on the ship’s fox figurehead.
After it was all said and done, his mask long discarded, Luffy pulled him aside. Zoro let himself be dragged away from the others, well out of earshot.
“Never leave me again.” Luffy told him, a certain gleam in his eyes.
“Then never lose me again, captain.” Zoro challenged, knowing full well there was nothing in this world that could truly make him leave Luffy’s side. Not even death would be able to separate them.
Luffy growled possessively and threw himself up to meet Zoro’s lips, claiming them as his forevermore.